I must have had something bad to eat. I am vomiting into the toilet every fifteen minutes. I am seriously not eating again. Snape is acting all weird like he caused this. He better not have. I'll vomit on his boots. Oh yeah! I'll do it. I'm CRAAAAAZY!
There was a knock on the bathroom door. It pushed open and Snape stood there looking awkward. He had his hands into his pockets and was slightly shifty.
"Are you alright?" he finally asked after ten minutes. I just gave him a thumb up as my head was deep into the toilet bowl throwing up anything I had eaten in the last six months. "I mean I know you said he didn't touch you but…are you sure?"
"Snape what are you getting at?" I finally asked after steadying anything threatening to come up.
"Do you know how babies are made?" Snape asked turning pink. I think I'm going to throw up again. This is like my worst nightmare. Snape giving me a sex talk.
"Yes, do you?" I asked watching as he looked slightly offended.
"Of course," Snape said shortly.
"Well then you will know that I cant get pregnant just by kissing," I said shaking my head. "Or holding hands. Or even looking at a boy. You think I'm pregnant?"
Snape was still looking down. I decided to torture him a bit. I mean come on! I am locked in his house awaiting my death. I think I have a right to tease. Or whatever.
"Well you know one night you did stumble into my room looking really sloshed. You said you were lonely so I let you…you know," I said trying not to smirk.
"What!" Snape yelped looking like he had been scorched.
"I am carrying our love child," I said sticking my head back into the toilet basin.
"I-You-Us-Baby," Snape said looking like he was the one who was going to be sick.
"We are going to be SO happy together! I knew you loved me!" I said clasping my hands between my breasts and began to blink wildly.
"I mean to say if anyone found out…" Snape said looking angry. "I'll just abort it."
"Excuse me? You would abort our child?" I snarled.
"It's a bastard child. Not to mention it wouldn't be pure blood," Snape said running his hands through his hair. "I mean-"
"You are an idiot," I said simply. I stood up and walked back into my room. "I'm not pregnant. You didn't come into my room. We never had sex. And you would be a horrible father. Oh and by the way, you are not pure-blood! Get that through your head you crazy bastard," I snapped and walked over to the bed.
"That was a joke?" Snape asked looking relieved.
"Yes. But I'm glad to see that, heaven forbid, I do get pregnant. You'll just abort it!" I said angrily smoothing my hair down over the pillow.
"What gives you the idea that I would ever let you touch me?" Snape said trying to retain some sense of fear.
"I'm not in the mood. Please just walk away," I said feebly waving my hand at him. I felt like I was going to be sick again.
"Well why are you vomiting?" Snape asked stomping his foot.
"It could be the milk that has been in your fridge since '92. I thought it was vanilla ice-cream. I was really, really wrong. Hence the entire contents of my stomach now all over your kitchen and study. And toilet," I said closing my eyes.
"You threw up in my study?" Snape asked sounding angry.
"Your lack of sympathy amazes me," I said sarcastically as he left. Minutes later I heard a roar of disgust.
"YOU DID! OH GOD! I AM NEVER GOING TO GET THAT OUT OF THE CARPET! WHAT IS THAT?" Snape bellowed sounding as angry as I've ever made him. I gave a small laugh then sprinted into the bathroom where I emptied all the saliva I had swallowed.
I left the room and walked around the upper floor. Snape was still muttering downstairs so I figured I had six minutes to snoop in his room. I slowly creaked into his room and looked at all the things. It was like a normal humans room. I opened a bedside table and saw an old picture. I took it out and glanced at a happy little boy being held by a woman with dark hair. I noticed her from her picture. This must be Eileen Prince. I sifted through more papers until I noticed a death certificate. It was for one, Eileen Prince. The date on the paper said that she died March, 1976. Snape would have been sixteen. The death said accident and then in a tiny, almost unreadable writing it said, 'Yeah right! Fat chance!'
I frowned and placed it back in the drawer. I turned around to leave when I felt all the breath come out of my body. Snape stood looking in the doorway staring at me. Now THIS was the angriest I had ever seen him. I winced and waited for whatever anger flood was going to be sprung on me.
Snape walked quietly into the room and shut the tiny drawer. The he left like nothing happened. He just LEFT. I stood there immobile for a moment and then walked out of the room. Do I follow him?
No! You have done enough!
Shut up whore!
Who are you calling a whore? You stupid snoop!
I blinked a few times to try and regain some sense of reality. So maybe Snape didn't want to tell me that his mother died. Even though I told him about my sister. He is the only person I have ever told about my sister. I honestly have never told anyone else. Wow, I feel hurt. Huh.
I cautiously pushed my way into the kitchen where I was shocked to see Snape sitting drinking a steaming cup of something. It wasn't tea, looked more like Fire-whiskey. He didn't turn to acknowledge me. That is when, once again, I flipped out.
"Alright, I know I snooped and you have every right to be mad at me," I finally said wondering if I should cry. No, he knows I don't cry unless- Wow a real tear just fell out of my eye.
"You know it may amaze you that I don't want certain things about me just spread around like fertilizer," Snape said coldly.
"Who am I going to tell? You wont let me write to my family or friends," I started.
"For the last time I sent that dammed letter," Snape snapped.
"Fine. I am not like Ron and Harry whose lips are looser that Lavender Brown's legs," I said and received a smile that Snape obviously didn't want to be there. "But I told you about my sister. That was hard for me to do. It took a long time for me to be able to even talk about her. And the fact that you are the first person I have told should mean something. It does to me anyways," I said sighing.
Snape turned to me as I opened my mouth to speak again and I suddenly felt his lips on mine. I was so shell-shocked I didn't know what to do. I mean my head was just in the toilet. But Snape kissed me anyways. I wasn't sure how I should react so I just kind of stayed still. Then Snape broke away from me and looked highly embarrassed.
"Clean the living room," Snape said before quickly leaving the room. I rolled my eyes and sat there for a moment. I didn't trust myself to stand. That was the most passionate kiss I have ever had. My legs felt like jelly. Oh and his lips were so soft! And what the hell was that order about?
Crap!
A/N Please read and review. I know wicked short. I apologize. I will have more later tonight or tomorrow. I have no life ;)
