I was just kissed by a Death Eater, who is going to kill my come September, who killed Dumbledore, and did a lot of other evil crap, and I am deliriously happy. Although I didn't like that he kissed me and then told me to go clean. Whatever. This shouldn't be happening! He is my capture! He is holding me hostage looking all sexy and sultry. And there I go again. The front door burst open and then closed. I heard Snape swearing furiously from upstairs. He sounds so sexy when he's angry. Ew! No not ew! Ew! No not ew!
The mental debate was really what made me go and speak to Snape. I mean I need to know why he kissed me before I get into another fight with myself. I walked up the creaky stairs and down the hall. I saw his bedroom door shut and I got up the courage to knock.
"In a minute!" Snape said sounding rushed. I heard a sharp intake of breath and the door opened. "Yes? Do you need supplies?"
"You kissed me," I said stupidly.
"I think I need to explain something," Snape said shortly. "I have not had sex in seven years. The fact that a young, attractive girl is in my house was just too much. I kissed you and I regret it nothing more," Snape said standing up. I was outraged.
I tapped him on the back and waited for him to turn around. Then I did the only thing a girl in my position could do. I kneed his boys.
"Well I will certainly not regret that," I said angrily and stomped from the room. I feel used and violated and slightly turned on. The fact that he doesn't want me makes me want him more. He hasn't had sex in seven years! Well no wonder! He is a miserable bastard.
I want to go into my room and sleep. Or I want to go for a walk. I need fresh air! I am pretty sure this house is slowly filling with carbon dioxide. For all I know I am slowly dying already. Maybe I'll have another fit like that muggle in the movie, The Shining. I wonder if Snape has an axe…Can you just imagine me breaking through his door screaming, "Here's Hermione!"
Haha. Haha. I cant help but giggle. Then my giggle turns into a sob and then that sob turns into tears of laughter. I can just imagine Harry and Ron's face when I say, "I was kidnapped and held hostage by Snape. We also began a torrid affair. I love his tight ass."
Haha. I cant help giggle. This is like the time I fell down the stairs in the Great Hall. I couldn't help laugh and cry. Or swear. Maybe I should swear. It might take my mind off of everything. Here it goes:
"I THINK YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD! I HOPE YOU ARE TAKING A HIKE ONE DAY AND HAVE TO PEE SO YOU DROP YOUR PANTS AND THEN A TREE FALLS ON YOU AND KNOCKS YOU OUT AND THEN WHEN YOU WAKE UP A BIRD HAS EATEN YOUR PENIS! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL FOR ALL OF ENTERNITY! I HOPE YOU BECOME IMPOTENT! WHEN I GET MY WAND BACK I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU CANT EVEN HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF! I AM NOT SOME TYPE LOVE TOY! I HATE YOU! I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT THE ORDER KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE YOU LIVE! OR I WILL COME BACK AS A FLY AND BUZZ OF YOU EAR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! OR MY LIFE! OR HOWEVER LONG A FLY LIVES…"
I kind of lost my buzz at the end but I think he got the picture.
Snape came halfway down the stairs. "Did you say something? I was in the shower."
I just let out one big frustrated scream and went into the kitchen.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
So I am officially not talking to him. So far so good. Of course I haven't seen him since I screamed bloody murder and then went into the kitchen. That was well over two hours ago and I am pretty sure I am going to rip out my hair in frustration. I will not back down.
Snape came into the kitchen where I was washing dishes and began to pitter around grabbing plates out of the cupboard and dirtying the right in front of me. While I'm washing dishes! It's like killing an animal in front of PETA! What is the matter with him? He has a swollen ego!
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I finally snapped grabbing yet another plate out of his hands. He looked surprised but I just kept a firm grip on the plate. "I am washing dishes and you are dirtying them right in front of me. Stop it!"
Snape stood back for a moment and then sat down and just ate whatever was on his plates. That's right, PLATES. He has dirtied seven plates. All to make a sandwich. He has a plate for three pieces of turkey to sit on, then one for the bread, another for the lettuce, then another for a little puddle of mustard. I have only seen a spread like this at one of my parent's dentist ball's. Yeah, dentists have balls too! Not like balls, balls. Like Cinderella type of balls. I mean yeah dentists have BALLS. Well the male one's do… right. Anyways.
I could feel Snape's eyes boring into the back of my head. What does he want now? To reach his hand into my bra then tell my to clean the bathroom? I would like that….NO YOU WOULDN'T! STOP IT YOU FOOL!
I finally finished the dishes and couldn't think of anything else to do so I turned around.
"Do you want me to do anything else? You don't have to kiss me," I added sarcastically. He looked angry. I was ready for him to yell at me.
"No," Snape said and took a sip of water. I waited. He just went back to eating. No? No? No? No! Well what am I supposed to do then?
"Well what am I supposed to do then?" I asked angrily. Alright it was more awkward than angry.
"Anything you want," Snape answered.
"Can I go for a walk?" I asked sweetly.
"No," Snape answered turning to look at me with a Nice-Try look. I wasn't trying to escape. I was just thinking this stale air is going to give me skin cancer or something along that lines. Oh I must look pasty.
"Please? I promise not to run away! I really, really promise! I need air. Fresh air! I need to feel the sun and air that isn't produced by Maytag! I just really, really want to go outside into nice warm wherever I am air! I need this! Please! I really just NEED this!" I said sitting down across from him and practically begging. Alright I was begging like a dog in the streets but I was desperate.
Snape stared at me for a long moment and I made sure to put my sultry/ puppy dog eyes on. Apparently they did the trick.
"Any funny business and I will kill you," Snape warned. He looked really upset with himself. "We will go out for one hour and you are not to speak to anyone. You are to stay at my side and just walk. Understood?"
I let out a piercing scream and jumped up and hugged him. I completely caught him off guard because he just kinda patted my head and pushed me off of him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh you are a god!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs. I crashed into my room and took this stupid uniform off and put my shorts and tank-top back on. You know what they kidnapped me in. I wonder if there are pictures of me?
I went down into the hall and waited for him. He took forever. I am pretty sure on purpose. But whatever. When he finally came out he was dressed as a muggle. A.k.a. SEXY!
"Now we are going to a park. Nothing more. At the end of one hour I am going to tell you that we are going and you will come without a fight or you will never see daylight again. Is that clear?" Snape asked in his scary professor voice.
"Crystal," I said nodding. I was giddy like if you eat seventy pixie sticks and a coke. Yeah I know what pixie sticks are. I do live in the muggle world three months out of the year. Plus my mother sends me all her glossy mags so I can see who the muggles are interested in.
"Let's go. Oh," Snape stopped me and looked at me dead in the eye. "You are not to speak to anyone. I mean it if you start babbling about whatever the hell you annoy me with here, I am taking you home!"
"Jeez calm down. I'm not going to come out and say, 'Help the Dark Lord has me as his prisoner! Please save me from the man in the jeans!' They'll send me to an insane asylum," I said waiting for him to open the door. "Wait when does the time start? Like when we get to the park or when you open the door?"
"I guess when I open the door," Snape started but faltered under my look. "Fine, when we get to the bloody park!" He snarled and pushed the door open. The sunlight almost blinded me. Seriously I think I even screamed and put my hands over my eyes.
I walked down the streets and turned back to the house. Ok his house is fabulous from the outside. I mean it needs some serious work and maybe a nice paint job but it could be amazing. There are two big oak trees that hang over the house and a swing. A swing? Whatever.
He lives at the end of the street, which only has three other houses, so we walked down that street. I wanted to skip but Snape said that if I even dared to skip around him he would surely turn around. He is such a moody bastard!
We finally got to a park that I recognized immediately. This was my park. This was my neighborhood. Well not the one Snape lives in but I live like three streets from this park. My dad used to take me here when my mother got depressed again. Which was a lot. She drank more than a sailor and just became annoying so my dad would take me here. This is also the place he took me after my sister died and my mother was slowly slipping into insanity. I remember we sat here for hours not talking.
I giggled wildly and began to dance around. Snape looked embarrassed and smiled at two old ladies who walked by. He then waved me over and gave me a death glare.
"Hermione Granger?" a voice called and I whipped around. Oh thank the belly buttons! It was my neighbor. I acted quickly.
"No, my name is Caroline Snape," I said silkily. I went over to Snape and put my arm around him like we were just married. I placed my head on his chest and I swear he pinched my arm really hard.
"Oh I am so sorry dear. You look like a girl who lived next door to me. Poor thing went missing or ran away. Left her parents a right old mess. They don't even leave their house anymore. People are in and out of there at all hours just trying to persuade them to come out and keep living! I myself have been in there and I really mean it! You are the spitting image of their daughter. I have not seen them this upset since they lost their other daughter. Oh my! I apologize, by the look on your face it seems I've upset you," Mrs. Grant said softly. "I wont take anymore of your time. I hope you two are very happy together."
"Thank you," I said feeling tears well up in my eyes. My neighbor left and I willed her to tell my parents that she saw someone named Caroline Snape. They would pick up on it. They would. They had to. When I was little my parents made a code in case anything went wrong. It was Caroline after my sister. We called it Code Caroline. If we said that something was wrong with her and we had to go to her immediately.
Snape dropped my arm and seemed guilty. Well almost guilty. As guilty as Snape could feel, that was what he looked like.
"Can we just go to one more place before we go home?" I asked quietly trying to sound calm when in fact I was close to sobbing.
Snape just nodded and I walked across a path until we got to a graveyard. Snape frowned in either confusion or understanding when I went to a man selling flowers and turned to Snape. He rolled his eyes and paid the money for the roses.
I walked slowly across the leave strewn path until I got to what I was looking for. It was a tiny grave that was covered in dead flowers. I bent down and looked at the name.
R.I.P.
Caroline Amanda Granger
May 14, 1982-
July 10, 1991
Beloved daughter, cherished sister.
With love to our darling daughter,
Mum and dad and Hermione.
I have never been to see this because before I didn't want to. I thought if I just pretended she didn't exist than it wouldn't hurt anymore. After a while it got to the point where I almost believed that I didn't have a sister. I noticed that Snape hung back slightly.
"Hey Carrie," I whispered feeling hot tears in my eyes. "I don't know if you remember me. I'm your sister that forgot all about you," I said and couldn't hold back a sob. "I am so sorry I didn't come. I am so sorry I forgot all about you. But you have to understand, I hated you. You made my entire life this big held back bubble and then you just died and left me to deal with mum and dad. I felt deserted. I hated you for not coming back. I wanted you to be there when I got my letter and I wanted to come home and tell you all about Hogwarts and my friends. You shouldn't be here. You didn't deserve it. I remember up until the time you died you would still joke about it. I am so sorry that every night I heard mum pray for you to stay, I countered it just asking him to come take you. To just take you and relieve you of this pain. I remember the day you died. It was a really warm day and I begged mum to let you go outside. She finally relented and I pushed you into the backyard. You only weighed like fifty pounds and you were covered in a blanket with a hat and scarf. But when you saw the sun and you smiled. It was the first time I saw you really smile in years. You were only eight but you turned to me and told me that in heaven people don't get sick. They stay happy and the sun is always shining. I kissed your head and told you that you don't have to stay in this pain. If you want to go, just go. You smiled and took my hand and told me to look after mum because she was going to go insane, to make sure dad threw out the milk after he drank it, and you told me that I was a magical person who would do great things. You kissed my hand and sat back. I thought you were sleeping. I really did. When I called your name and didn't answer I got so scared. I was petrified that you left me and you did! I was angry at you for being weak and I was angry that you left this mess of a family for me to keep together. That was why all these years I stayed back. I didn't want to admit to myself that you died. I thought if I just didn't speak about you, you wouldn't exist. I'm sorry I forgot your laugh, and I'm sorry I forgot the way you would giggle when dad did his stupid hate dance. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I finally just broke down and sobbed onto the grave. I didn't know how long I was there. When I looked back I noticed that Snape had gone and sat on a bench about twenty feet away.
I sighed and got up. "Bye Carebear," I whispered and left. If I lived I'd come back. I promised her. I would come back.
I walked up the slanted path until I was at the bench.
"Come on," I said my voice still hoarse from crying. Snape stood up and without a word led me further into the graveyard. I noticed he had some flowers in his hand. I knew we were going to his mum's grave.
We spent twenty minutes there and then walked back onto the street.
"Can you do me a favor?" I asked quietly.
"Like?" Snape asked.
"Can I please just put this letter in my mailbox? I really want my parents to know I'm ok. I don't think I can take it if they thought I was dead. They'd kill themselves," I said not able to keep the panic out of my voice.
Snape looked angry then he turned to me and glanced around.
"What I am about to do can kill me," Snape said barely moving his lips.
"What is it?" I asked my eyes wide.
"I'm going to let you talk to your parents," Snape said once again his lips were barely moving. It looked like I was talking and it was making him angry.
"Oh really?" I said and jumped on top of him. Literally I wrapped my legs around him and kissed him and hugged him and if I could I'd take him behind a bench and really show him how grateful I am. But instead I took his hand and ran across the street. I was almost hit by several cars but I didn't stop until I was at my front door. I took a deep breath and knocked.
The door opened minutes later and my mother stood there in a familiar way. She looked like she hadn't slept in months, she wasn't wearing make-up and a bottle of pain killers was gripped in her hand.
"JOHN! JOHN!" my mum started screaming and gave me a big tug. She grabbed me into the house and began to sob uncontrollably. Her hug was so strong that I didn't even mind the fact that I was most likely not getting air to my brain. I didn't care. I hugged my mother with a such force she almost toppled over.
My dad ran into the room looking panicked. He saw me and tears appeared in his eyes. He then hugged me very, very tightly.
Half an hour later my parents let me go. My dad turned to Snape. "Who the hell is this?"
"He saved me dad," I answered. Snape looked taken aback. "I am in hiding. Now listen to me. I cant stay long I need to go back into hiding. I don't know how long I'll be. Please just promise me that you wont do anything crazy. Please I need you to keep a cool head about this. Can you do that?" Both my parents nodded and I smiled.
"Your friends have been going crazy. What do I tell them?" mum asked.
"Tell them that for now I'm save," I said smiling.
"Son what is your name?" my dad asked. I didn't mention that Snape was about two years older than him.
"Severus Snape," Snape answered taking his hand. I almost giggled.
"Well I hope Hermione hasn't been too much trouble," my dad said and Snape almost laughed. I frowned at him and led my mum into the kitchen.
"Mum," I hissed. "Take this. It will light up if I'm in trouble," I said thrusting a coin into her hands. "You take this when it's hot and owl Harry and Ron and the order. You cant tell them who you saw me with. Just tell them I am ok. Please promise me mum. The name of the place I am staying at is called Spinner's End. Just keep calm and wait," I said kissing her cheek. I noticed Snape was watching me with a slight frown so I just let out a rash giggle. Mum joined in.
An hour later we had to leave. I kissed my parents and left. Everything was going to be ok. It really was. When I got back to Snape's house I was in such a good mood.
"You said you were going to make this up to me?" Snape asked and I smirked.
"Yeah I did," I said with a smile and took my shirt off.
Snape stood there shell shocked for a moment. "I meant organizing my book shelves," Snape finally said staring at my chest. I flushed embarrassed and covered myself.
"Right," I croaked. "I'll get right on that."
I rushed up the stairs and fell onto my bed. I can never go down there again. EVER!
A/N Please read and review. I finally wrote a longer chappie! Oh and for the story purpose, let's PRETEND Hermione knew what PETA was! Ok? Goodie, review please.
