Spike left soon after our little chat and I collapsed onto the still warm bed, willing myself to cry but knowing there were no more tears left in my body to fall. Twenty minutes later, I heaved myself from the bed just as the sun began to rise. Looking at myself in the mirror, I flinched. I was a wreck of tear stained cheeks and blood shot eyes. My dark brown hair was mussed and my lips hadn't smiled in a very long time. I tugged a black make up case from my dresser and sat down at the vanity. Foundation was much like the mask I put on every day when I had to face the world. A cover for what was truly below. I spread it evenly like my mother had taught me so, back when she was alive and things were less complicated. Dark black eyeliner lined my blue eyes, drawing eyes away from the sadness within. I pulled the brush threw my hair in machine like motions. Up, down, up, down. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

"Dawnie, you need a ride to school." I heard her, but I didn't answer. She came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, knowing my eyes were empty. Buffy had the "worry" look on her face.

"Yes, please," I whispered before returning to brushing my hair. She took my hand in her own. I looked down at our intertwined hands. Her fingers were slim and her palms were callused for handling all the weapons. It amazed me. Such small hands held so much power, such small hands had saved the world, such small hands had saved my life, such small hands with their pink painted nails and their diamond bracelet. She was short and blonde and she was a hero. She was my sister. But what did that leave me as? The key? The cutter? The…nothing. I was never meant to be. I was meant to die that night. It was my purpose in this world. If I had…maybe her small hands wouldn't be so cold. Maybe she wouldn't be dead inside. Maybe she would still hug Mr. Gordo to her chest at night and swoon about Angel. Maybe...everyone's lives would be a little better.

"Are you ok, Dawn?" Buffy asked, looking down at our hands. I nodded before releasing her and standing up. I shoved my books into my bag and put on the jacket Spike had gotten me. Buffy walked out of the room and I sighed, pulling a wrist band over my wrists just in case my sleeves rode up in school.

"Dawn, are you coming to the Bronze tonight," Janice questioned four hours later at lunch.

"Yeah, sure," I answered, not completely sure what she was asking.

"Wear something hot," She ordered, giving a flirtatious look to two guys across the caffiteria. "I plan on hooking up with Jordan. You can have Shawn,"

"Hi, Dawn," I looked up, my eyes landing on a tall seventeen year old with shaggy brown hair and brown eyes.

"Hi, Shawn," I whispered before taking a sip of soda.

"Are you going to the Bronze tonight?"

"Yes, we are," Janice answered, a huge smile on her face.

"I'll see you there. Save me a dance," He winked before walking away. I simply rolled my eyes.

"Girl, whats up with you? A like-woah hot guy just asked you out. You should be jumping up and down,"

"Woot-woot," I muttered as the bell rang. Four more classes to go, four more disappointed teachers to face, four more times to make up some reason as to why I wasn't paying attention. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed and sleep. To sleep and never wake up.

An: I'm sorry, these chapters seem to be coming to me in short blurbs that sound their best written that way. Next chapter will be longer, I promise! Please Review!