A/N: Welcome to Chapter 6. For some reason, I thought it was chapter 8... I guess I'm just delusional. I'm sorry this is a day late. But, my family was switching from AO(hel)L to SBC this past week, and while we were connected to SBC, we couldn't get our username, and thus I had no internet. I had to go to the library... and I couldn't transfer the story... so I'm sorry. :( Please forgive me.
horsiegurl: Thanks for the review! What exactly is it that you like about their interactions? I'm curious... maybe I can add more of what you like!
A. NuEvil: Hehe... tell me if you ever find any clues... I'd like to see if I can actually put together a complex narrative, and you can tell me if I'm doing it right. Thanks for reading. ;)
SpikesSpecialFriend: That is probably the best compliment I could have ever recieved, that you look forward to tuesday nights. That's how I feel about my favorite fanfic (the ones that update regularly, that is!). I'm so so so so so sorry this was late -- especially for your sake.
Crydwyn: I'm glad you like it. I have questions about the Jedi, and so I come up with stories to answer it. Another story that's been brewing in my head's question is "Why do the Jedi have Master/Padawan relationships?" I'd tell you the question for this story, but I think it would give too much away. Thanks for reading!
Kalorna Enera: laughs at the thought that their schedule works Oh, you'll see. As for not skipping details? I think the details are the story... but there is a bit of plot coming. Yay!
Kenobi-girl1: Keeping up the good work, promise. ;)
Knight Queen: Updated! ;)
Okay, here's the deal. I have to go to Oklahoma and visit my family starting July 25th, I'll be gone two weeks. If, by going online, I will cause sever financial burden to my grandparents, I will try to post. But this is of course contingent on the ability to make the story travel from my laptop, to their computer, to the internet. Or, possibly, using the wireless in a hotel on the way. So, don't hold your breath. But I will try, and if worse comes to worse, I will just have more story written when I come back and regular updates will be assured for a few more weeks. ;) Thank you all for reading, much love.
Chapter: When the World was Young
Qui-Gon looked across the dinner table at the two little girls who were his responsibility, massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He had made many trips on ships much less hospitable than this one with younglings, but he was wondering how he could have ever suspected that chaperoning two initiates home could be any simpler than comforting a confused infant. Subtle Force suggestions for sleep, a deft hand for changing nappies and fortified bantha milk was all you needed for small children traveling to join the order. But as children got older, they got more complicated.
Lilia and Maela sat on either side of his Padawan as they quietly ate their dinner. This was their best behavior, an improvement over the ruckus of the day. Morning exercises and mediations went relatively well. Qui-Gon asked why Maela needed so much to meditate, Lilia informed him that she was making a doll. That short distraction aside, everything went according to plan.
But breakfast was not nearly as peaceful. Maela, fidgeting at the table, kicked Lilia in the shins. Lilia asked her to stop, but she did it again. Five more times.Qui-Gon had to give both a stern talking to about appearances in public, and the decorum of the Jedi, then moved them apart.
For the morning lessons, Qui-Gon had Obi-Wan return the Initiates to the quarters and stay with them while he was given a tour of the ship by the Captain, who was quite thrilled to have four Jedi onboard. Obi-Wan reported that Lilia, looking over Maela's shoulder at the younger girl's mathematics lesson, declared Maela to be a Bantha brain because Lilia had done the same lessons when she was six. This caused Maela to be quite upset and cranky for the rest of the lesson, causing small fits every time she answered a question incorrectly.
That report, however, was delivered after the saber lesson was delayed a full fifteen minutes because the bag with the training equipment had been unpacked by a Porter into one of the drawers. Maela, seeing that Lilia was looking forward to the lesson, refused to help look for the equipment. Obi-Wan could not risk injuring himself further. They had to wait until Qui-Gon returned. He found the equipment quickly, but had to straighten out the confusion caused by a frustrated Obi-Wan, an obstinate Lilia, and a cranky Maela.
Lunch was relatively peaceful because Obi-Wan sat between the two and the girls refrained from talking.
At the start of the afternoon lessons, Qui-Gon allowed a slight delay because, despite the training earlier, both girls had too much energy to concentrate. Obi-Wan tried to start on his lessons while the other two played at Qui-Gon's suggestion – as a Padawan, he would have more to complete than the Initiates – but Obi-Wan was soon interrupted by Maela complaining that Lilia was being mean and changing the rules of their improvised ball game. Obi-Wan, not wanting to deal with more whining and hurt feelings, put an end to play time and sat between them at their lessons.
When their lessons were finished, it was time for dinner and it felt as if it was the only quiet that he had been able to enjoy all day. He was beginning to feel the strain of their animosity, and he knew his Padawan was as well. How were these two girls supposed to even begin to make friends?
When the evening meal was complete, Qui-Gon begged off an after dinner conversation with some of the more wealthy passengers, fascinated by the Jedi presence, in order to try to find some quiet time in the suite. "I'm sure you understand," he said to a small group, who included the captain. "Training is intensive for Jedi Initiates as well as Padawans, and we really must retire to meditate."
"Master Qui-Gon?" asked Maela, tugging on his sleeve for attention. "We don't really need to meditate that much, do we?" The group, not nearly out of ear shot, laughed at the question, sure that the child's naïveté would soon be a thing of the past.
Qui-Gon placed his large hand between Maela's small shoulder blades and followed Obi-Wan's lead guiding the girl through the doors to the dining hall and down the hall towards their suite. Once around a corner he said, "Maela, you must think before you speak. It was not your place to contradict me." She nodded, but Qui-Gon knew from the look in her eyes that she hadn't learned her lesson. She would, in time. For now, telling her that she was wrong was a step. "Anyway, you and I must discuss what you were supposed to learn for this mission." He waited as Obi-Wan palmed open the lock to the room. "Bring me your dossier on Lilia's family."
"Why does she have to learn about my family, Master?" asked Lilia. She sounded irritable, and Qui-Gon mentally calculated the relative time at the temple. It may have been just after dinner according to the ship, but it was nearly bedtime to the two little girls. Qui-Gon considered, briefly, foregoing free time for sleep, but he knew that as much as they needed the discipline of a schedule, they needed to know how to adapt it.
"Maela has to learn about your family for the same reason that you have to learn about hers, Lilia," said Qui-Gon gently. "To know your surroundings is to know the way to deal with them." Maela went across the room to a drawer full of her things and brought back her datapad and handed it to Qui-Gon. "Well, Lilia, what are you going to do with your free time?"
Lilia looked up at Qui-Gon. "Can I play with Maela's Master dolls?"
"You'll have to ask Maela," said Qui-Gon judiciously.
"Can I play with your dolls?" asked Lilia. Maela shrugged and pointed at the box that was already sitting on the floor, having not been cleaned up from the morning's meditation.
Qui-Gon would normally have praised a child for sharing so readily, but Maela wasn't being generous, just … yielding. "Have you read the dossier?" he asked as he sat down in one of the two easy chairs in the room. Obi-Wan took the seat next to him.
"Yes, Qui-Gon," said Maela. She leaned on the arm of the chair, as if trying to be closer to the Master.
"Can I ask you questions about it?" The little girl nodded. He looked down at the child-sized datapad, which was a tad small for his large hands. "What is the relationship of Wolford Valeska to Lilia?"
Maela looked down at her hands pressed under her chin as her elbows were pinned between her body and the chair arm. "Grandfather?" she said after a moment. She didn't look up.
"You don't sound sure," said Qui-Gon. Maela had read the information, he was sure, but she hadn't studied it. He kept his face neutral, not giving away the answer.
"Father?" she guessed again. This time she looked up, eyes begging for the right answer.
"Lilia's father has the same last name as her. You were right the first time." Qui-Gon handed the little girl back her datapad. "Study this for fifteen minutes of your free time, I'll quiz you at the end of that time and then you can play." Maela took the datapad and lay down on her stomach on the floor not far from Lilia.
"Why do they fight so much, Master?" asked Obi-Wan. The tone of his voice told Qui-Gon that the question had been repeating itself in his mind all day. "I never fought with any fellow initiate the way these two do." He scrunched his eyes closed and leaned back. "It's so tiring to listen to."
"Sibling rivalry." Qui-Gon said it so simply that Obi-Wan took a second to make sure that something had been said.
"Master?" Qui-Gon nodded.
"They're competing for attention, Obi-Wan. Neither wants to be neglected."
"We're not neglecting them!" protested Obi-Wan. "We spend every second making sure they're learning, or training, or eating or something!"
"As do all parents in the galaxy, and in our cases, the crèche masters." Qui-Gon watched as the two girls conversed on the floor. "Humans, though, seem to have evolved with an instinct to prove that they are the stronger child, so that resources will be given to them. Survival of the fittest. That instinct hasn't gone away."
"But they know better," said Obi-Wan in slight exasperation.
"But they are just a bit too young to turn off instinct as you'd like them too." He turned to his Padawan. "But even if you know and act on the idea that you are not competing with someone for survival, you will still see others as rivals. If we were to go on a mission with another Master/Padawan team, you'd be making sure that I saw you do the right thing, because you would want to prove to that other Master/Padawan team that you were just as worthy." Qui-Gon smiled. "Do not deny what you will find through experience to be true."
"Yes, Master," he said. Obi-Wan pondered the hypothetical his master presented.
"Besides, they do not fight all the time, do they?"
"No," said Obi-Wan. "Lilia helped Maela on one of her katas this morning. Maela let Lilia play with her dolls. And they seem to be okay right now." The two girls were talking about something, heads close together.
"We just have to help them be allies rather than enemies." Qui-Gon used the arms of the chair to push himself to standing. "If you excuse me, I have to use the 'fresher." Obi-Wan smiled wanly, showing that he understood, before leaning his head against the back of the chair and closing his eyes. Obi-Wan tried to ignore the Initiate's rising voices, wishing they would just sleep instead of playing…
"Stop telling me what I'm feeling and pretending you know what I'm thinking because you can't really know! Go away!" Lilia shouted. Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open and he watched silent, unmoving, as Maela got up, went to the drawer where she put in the datapad and left the room. The door to the room hissed closed before Obi-Wan moved, before his mind registered that because Lilia had yelled at Maela, and eight-year-old had just gone wandering the ship alone.
"What did you say to her?" demanded Obi-Wan as he leaped from the chair standing above the girl who was still crouched on the floor. Obi-Wan watched in horror as Lilia, too, began to cry. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," said Obi-Wan. "But what happened? I don't understand."
Lilia sniffled and snorted and her voice was strained with sobs. "She was being mean!"
"What happened?" asked Obi-Wan. How was he supposed to get to the bottom of this? And Maela had left the room!
"What's going on here?" asked Qui-Gon as he left the 'fresher.
"I closed my eyes for a minute, and then Lilia and Maela started fighting, and Maela left the room," said Obi-Wan. He fought to report calmly, and his uninjured arm gripped the fingers of his injured arm, betraying his agitation. These girls, he realized, were also partly his responsibility, and he was supposed to be learning from them, or else the Council wouldn't have allowed him to come on this trip.
"Go find Maela," said Qui-Gon. "She'll be hiding somewhere on the ship. Don't approach her, just find her," he said, lowering himself to sit on the floor. He offered open arms to Lilia who leaned into a half embrace, still crying. "She did her part not to make the situation worse by leaving it, and she's hurting right now, just like Lilia, and I'll need to talk to her. But, since Lilia is here now, I'll talk to her first."
"Why can't you find her, Master?" Qui-Gon could tell that his Padawan wasn't comfortable with the idea of leaving the situation as much as he was staying in it. Qui-Gon also suspected he was afraid he wouldn't be able to find her – to climb into the small spaces where a small girl could hide.
"Because you can say you're playing a game of hide and seek. If I were looking for her, the ship's security might become alarmed and tell her that finding a place alone is wrong, which for her it isn't." He looked squarely into his Padawan's eyes, concentrating on just him despite offering a comforting arm to Lilia. "You just have to find her; you don't need to approach her."
"Yes, Master," said Obi-Wan. He left the room.
Qui-Gon focused his attention on soothing the initiate he held under one arm, leaning against his side, though not in his lap. He sighed internally, not wanting to show his reluctance to deal with the situation. He had realized that soon their animosity would come to blows… he just didn't realize it would happen so soon. "What happened?" he asked gently.
"She said that my family didn't love me." Qui-Gon frowned. The Council had said that Maela wasn't adept at seeing when her observations hurt people, but even this seemed too blunt.
"Is that really what she said?" Qui-Gon continued using his softest, most soothing voice, and he watched as Lilia worried one of Maela's dolls in her hand. Master Yoda did pirouettes as Qui-Gon waited for Lilia to reveal the fuller story.
"She said that I was afraid of seeing them and that meant I was afraid of them not loving me." Lilia sniffed, drawing in a deep breath.
"Is that true?"
"They love me. Albina says they do, and she always comes and visits me when she's at the Temple and stuff." Lilia rubbed her eyes, and wiped her nose with her sleeve.
"Your Aunt is a very wise woman, besides being a Jedi Knight, and she speaks the truth. Then, Lilia… why did what Maela said upset you so much?"
"Because." Lilia was short with the word, a childish indication she didn't want to talk about it any more.
"Because you are afraid?" He asked gently, voice low. "Because you're afraid it might be just a little bit true?" Lilia stiffened in his grip and began to cry again, breath that had been calming now coming again in gasps. She nodded, her hair rubbing against his Jedi robe and bowing out in a mess.
"It's not true, Lilia. You'll have to believe that yourself." He took a deep breath. "You have to trust that your family loves you."
"Why did she say it, Qui-Gon?" she asked. "Why?" She took the doll in her hand and tucked him close to her chest.
He looked down into her swollen, red eyes and wiped away a tear with his finger. "She wants to be your friend, Lilia. She wants to help you with your fear, but she doesn't know how."
"She should have just said so," Lilia replied with some distain.
"How could she have 'just said so' if you wouldn't have listened to her?"
"I would have listened," she said, just as irritable.
"Would you have? If she didn't show you she cared, would you have trusted her?"
"She doesn't care!" Lilia cried. "She said some really mean things."
"If she didn't care, would she have been crying when she left?" Lilia had no answer for this. "Listen, I want you to get ready for bed. Go to sleep, I have to go find Maela. But tomorrow, after you both apologize, I want you to say something nice, or do something nice for Maela. But it has to be sincere, because she'll know."
Lilia nodded and extricated herself from Qui-Gon's grip, standing and rubbing her eyes. "Why, though?" she asked.
"Why do something nice?" asked Qui-Gon. She nodded, and he smiled benevolently. "Answers to some questions have to be discovered on your own."
"We're not friends," said Lilia, giving her most stubborn look to the Jedi Master, correctly divining the reason for this assignment.
"You both want to be," he said, standing and smiling softly. "Or neither of you would be this upset that the other didn't understand."
