Harry Potter and the Fic That Wouldn't Die!
Rating: M
Warnings: This is a parody/comedy/romance. Excessive ramblings that make no sense, and making fun of random things…SLASHY..
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, so would you like to take me bowling?
Chapter one: The Prologue
Harry Potter sat down and watched the lake. He was at Hogwarts, because the author of this fic didn't feel like sending him to the Dursley's so she would have to get him out of there. He liked watching the lake, as the sun was setting. The last rays shimmering over the dark water. It was pleasant and comforting.
It also reminded him of Sirius.
Harry was over Sirius' death, but the author wanted a slightly sad introduction, so here we are. It also didn't hurt that across the lake, there was a boy he didn't mind watching.
Draco Malfoy.
Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to go into a dramatic interlude where I discuss Harry's turmoil it took him to get to this point. The initial attraction, the shock, the denial, the acceptance, and the stalking…but I don't feel like it.
Draco Malfoy knew he was being watched, because he wasn't dumb, and I wanted him to feel special and be all extra perceptive. It's my fic, so there. He also didn't mind being watched, because it made him feel special. And…wanted. He knew it was Harry, but that didn't bother him. He was openly gay, and had more tubes of lip balm than should be allowed. Oh that reminds me. Draco put on his kiwi mango lip balm as he sauntered around the lake to where Potter was. He made sure to swing his hips a lot .
When he finally got around the lake, Harry was still there, eyes still on Draco. He noticed the sheen on his lips and wondered if he was wearing lip balm. Quickly pulling out his strawberry orange lip balm and a mirror, he quickly made himself look hotter. (In his opinion anyway.)
"Hullo, Potter," a husky voice behind him said. Harry jumped. He turned around to see that it was none other than…
Voldemort!
"What the fuck!" Harry yelled. Then he turned to me and said, "I thought I was gonna be getting action from Draco?"
I just smile at my computer and keep writing.
"Potter…I want you…" Voldemort murmured in what he thought was a sexy way. In reality it sounded like a dying emu.
"Um…" Harry said, torn in confusion. Part of him wanted to yell at me for being a sick fuck, and another part of him wanted to yell at Voldemort the same thing. He compromised by yelling, "SICK FUCKS!" as he ran into the castle.
He should not have done that. Because now it's time for me to get my revenge…(cue evil laughter.)
TBC
In the next chapter, Draco gets horny, Harry wears heels, and Ginny gets high!
