A/N : Oh, the reviews! *dies of cardiac arrest but gets revived by Philosopher's Stone* Yes, I know many other authors have got much more reviews than I currently do, but I still feel great! Thank you! Yes, I know, the last chapter was depressing. *hides from readers* Sorry sorry sorry. Nice to know that you enjoyed the auction, though, because I wasn't feeling too great about that. Now a special note about this chapter and the chapters to come : in response to numerous requests, I shall be writing in Oliver's POV for this chapter, and probably for the next four chapters as well – but after this I will be switching back and forth from Katie and Oliver's point of view, depending on how the story develops. I won't be switching them right in the middle of a chapter, that'd be confusing, but each person will have a different chapter to themselves. I may not be doing a very good job of explaining this. =p I'm not sure whether this is considered good or bad, but oh well, I'm the author so you're going to have to live with it. Just tell me what you think about it in a review, so if you're not happy with the way things are turning out I'll try and do something about it. Key word : review. OK, people, remember : if you don't give me your e-mail address in your reviews, I won't be able to e-mail you if I update the story. Ah, yes, I've made a mistake. Heh. A glaring error in the scheduling of the Quidditch matches. In chapter eight (I think) I stated that the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff match would be held on the day before Christmas – conveniently forgetting, of course, about a little thing called the Christmas holidays. As I'm too lazy to go back and change it *blush*, just pretend I didn't say anything about it, okay? The actual date of the match will be announced in this chapter. Oh, and someone asked me about the "Fire bad tree pretty" thing, yeah it was from Buffy, and yes I am extremely upset that Buffy ended. And Spike died, which is totally not fair because he was hot. Hmph. Great, you've got me disgruntled now, that'll be great for the chapter. Oh wait NO!!! Okay I've just found out that my idea for Katie to transfigure Marcus Flint into a piece of toast has already been done before by another author (although her piece of toast was someone else, I think). My humblest apologies, and since we used almost the same wording, I did NOT copy her and would like to beg for the forgiveness of anyone who feels I have wronged her…I dunno, right as an author or something.

Oliver's POV

Chapter Twelve : Much Ado About Nonplussation

My cheek hurts.

I mean, it really, really hurts.

It doesn't hurt enough to keep me from holding Quidditch practice this evening, but that doesn't mean I'm particularly happy about looking like a panda, either. Of course, I don't think I'll ever mention this to the twins, because I'm probably the only one who thinks I look like a panda (of all the animals in the world!). But I'm sure I make a darned sexy panda.

In a kilt, Hawaiian shirt and leather jacket.

Damn that Katie Bell.

"Mr Wood, do pay attention to your diamond, it's getting away," said Professor McGonagall sternly, glaring slightly at me for dozing off in class.

"Accio diamond!" The echidna I had only half-managed to transfigure into a diamond was currently rolling over itself in an effort to get away from me; it zoomed back into my outstretched hand with an indignant squeak.

I hate Transfiguration.

In fact, I just hate anything that has to do with studies in general. The only subjects I can put up with nowadays are Potions and History of Magic, mainly because I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of Katie during our tutoring sessions. No matter how hard I try, though, I never seem to be good enough for her…

"Negate," I sighed and the sort-of-diamond became an echidna once more. Oh, great. Katie's watching me. In fact, she has been since the beginning of class. Just wonderful. She looks pissed, too. This day just keeps getting brighter and brighter.

I prepared myself to be threatened with castration as the unspoken tension between us mounted higher and higher – and then I saw a spark of emotion in her eyes, and she looked away from me to concentrate on her glittering pile of diamonds.

Huh?

Needless to say, that was certainly unexpected.

I suddenly heard an extremely loud elongated squeak – my echidna had fallen off the table less than gracefully – but then there was an "Immobiliarbus!" and it froze in mid-air, squeaking away plaintively.

Katie levitated the echidna back onto my desk with an accusatory glare like the ones I was currently receiving from all the girls in the classroom, and turned away again.

Geez. What's got her knickers in a twist?

If I recall correctly, I should be the one who's angry here, what with the panda cheek and so on, and so forth. Plus I almost had to spend my last three Galleons on her last night. It's lucky she turned Marcus into a piece of toast, or my money would have gone down the drain. Or perhaps I'm being a little insensitive, on the account of her, you know, not being interested in me and all.

Maybe she's a lesbian.

Women.

I mean, first she was acting all "Oh I really like you Oliver" and all of a sudden it's "I thought you were gay!", and then suddenly she goes on and on about milk, or something.

Are all Irish this insane?

No, I highly doubt it – Katie's unique. She's one of a kind, she really is, which is probably why I like her so much. I've seen her at her worst and I've seen her at her – um, worst, but I'm still absolutely positive on how I feel about her. And nothing's going to change that, not even if I get charged down by stampeding horny badgers. Do badgers get horny?

"Ahem."

Whoops.

"Hey, professor," I said nervously, and quickly tapped the echidna with my wand three times. "Glitra."

Please let it work, please it work, please let it work – oh. It worked.

Heeeeeeey. It worked!

Check out me and my bad self!

"Five points to Gryffindor, Mr Wood, for you first successful transfiguration this term," McGonagall said approvingly, then moving on to check on Katie.

"Miss Bell?"

"Er, yeah –" she said, a little flustered at first but regaining her composure, "Glitra massa." Six more diamonds were added to her pile, which then glimmered a pretty shade of blue for a second and then turned into a towering pile of sapphires.

"Very good," McGonagall commended, her lips stretching into a thin smile.

Hey! The lady can smile after all!

"Fifteen points for that excellent show of work, Miss Bell. Perform like this for your N.E.W.T.S. and you'll do fine."

"Thanks, professor," Katie murmured, smiling slightly.

Oh, I love you, professor, you made her smile!

Not literally, of course.

I mean, I don't literally love as in love you.

Perish the thought.

I looked at my watch and sighed. It was the second of November; my younger sister's birthday. I won't be able to wish her until I go back home for the Christmas holidays because I don't have an owl. It died last year. Got hit by a stray Bludger. Ironic, really, because its name was Beater. As long as Fred or George don't follow up that display, especially since our first match against Hufflepuff will be two weeks after the match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, which is tomorrow.

"Very well, everyone – please finish transfiguring your last echidna!" McGonagall called to the class.

I could see Angelina, who was stationed at the desk next to mine, poking her echidna with her wand desperately, repeating "Glitra! Glitra! Glitra! You stupid thing, glitra!" It finally gave a loud, final squeak before transforming into an acorn.

She cursed under her breath, loudly enough for me to hear her.

"Well, it is sort of…shiny," I offered, trying to make her feel better.

She snorted. "You know what else is shiny? Dumbledore's arse. That's right, Dumbledore's shiny arse. In fact, let's make a fan club for his arse – we'll call it the Dumbledore's Shiny Arse fan club. The D.S.A. How about that? No, that may be too long; how about the Dumbledore's Arse fan club, the D.A. – no. The D.A. sounds lame."

She's right. No one in their right mind would name any society the D.A.

Sheesh.

"May I please have your attention? Now, as you all know, most of you will be returning to your homes for Christmas soon. Please confirm with your parents whether you will be staying here in Hogwarts for Christmas; I will be collecting the names of those who are staying sometime during the first week of December. I would also like to remind you that your first N.E.W.T.S. trial examination will be held when you get back to school, so try not to slack off too much while enjoying yourself. You may go," McGonagall said, removing her glasses wearily.

The bell had rung at that moment, so together we all rose, stomachs rumbling and ready for supper.

"Ravenclaw and Slytherin tomorrow, mate – care to make a wager?"

Xander Douglas grinned at me suggestively, eyebrows raised.

"I can't," I said as the both of us began to stroll to Gryffindor Tower leisurely; Xander snorted in disbelief and I reinforced, "I can't, because I haven't got any money left. Fred and George made off with my last three Galleons, the bloody plonkers."

"But you didn't even get a romantic evening with that Katie girl!"

My stomach flipped slightly; I really wish people would stop mentioning her name. "I know, but they took my money anyway – something about funding Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, whatever that means…"

Xander shook his head, jumping nimbly over a vanishing step, much to Peeves' dismay. "That asshole's still trying to get me after that whole Filch incident. I swear…"

"What, another Filch incident? What happened this time?" I asked, genuinely confused. That's weird, I usually know about everything that happens to Xander – he is one of my closest friends, after all. I guess this time I was too occupied with Ka – Quidditch, it must have completely slipped my mind.

"He caught me snogging Elaine in that broom closet opposite that statue of Ursula the Ubiquitous and wanted to tell on us to Filch, but –"

Merlin's beard.

Not again.

"Elaine? You were snogging Elaine? I thought she said –"

"Yeah, well, she never means anything she says; besides, she'd never actually tell Mum, would she?"

Just so you know?

"But still, Xand, you can't go around snogging your twin sister – it's just not right!"

Yup.

Elaine is Xander's sister.

"For your information, Liverboy, I was merely experimenting," Xander said in a tone that suggested snogging your own flesh and blood was a perfectly normal everyday thing.

And for him, it probably was.

"Experimenting," I snorted in disbelief, ducking a badly-aimed slice of blueberry cheesecake – or something that looked suspiciously like blueberry cheesecake, knowing Peeves.

"Absolutely," Xander shrugged, pausing before the Fat Lady's portrait to look at me for a second. "I was wondering how long it would take for her to notice that I was her brother."

Oh, right, that's an excuse.

I mean, I have to admit that Elaine Douglas is gorgeous – I mean, that girl is the Quidditch World Cup on legs. So she has brains (she's in Ravenclaw) and beauty, plus a great body to boot…meaning no one can blame Xander for taking such an interest in his sister.

Right.

"Sugarplum," he said; the Fat Lady swung aside and we both crawled through the portrait hole and into the common room. He finally let his face slip into a sheepish grin before turning to me and saying, "I really shouldn't be snogging my twin sister, should I?"

Hahaha.

"No, Alexander. You shouldn't."

He looked at me for a while, sobering up. After years of trying, I have finally managed to get through to him. Merlin, it took him long enough. "Maybe she's not my twin sister, maybe there was –"

"Argh!" I managed to yell, and marched off to the dormitory we shared, ignoring his cries of protest behind me.

"No, seriously, Liverboy, maybe there was this family, right? And they were all poor and everything and had Elaine but couldn't afford to keep her, and it just so happened we were both born around the same time so the medics decided, 'Oh, well, guess what, you've got a twin brother now, ickle Elaine!' without bothering to check whether I was as good-looking as she was, because oh no, medics are just too good for us little people, aren't they? My mum always did say Muggle doctors were an insensitive, irresponsible bunch, and now…"

But I never managed to hear what exactly Mrs Douglas thought of doctors, because at that very second I opened the door to our dormitory and there, standing in the middle of the room in full glory, was an extremely disfigured-looking girl in a pink tutu.

"GAH!!!" Xander yelled as soon as he saw what I had seen and struck a defensive pose. "THAT IS THE UGLIEST GIRL I HAVE EVER SEEN!" He pointed an accusing finger at our roommate, Daniel, and continued, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Yes, Daniel, what the hell were you thinking?! I've seen dogs looking better than her, for heaven's sake –

"It's Harry, you nincompoop," Daniel said, rolling his eyes.

Holy shit, even her name is wrong.

Xander's eyes widened and he began to scream.

"EVEN HER NAME! EVEN HER NAME! WERE HER PARENTS DRUNK WHEN THEY NAMED HER? NO SODDING SELF-RESPECTING MOTHER CALLS HER DAUGHTER HARRY –"

"It's Harry Potter, you blithering idiot, and Harry happens to be very much a boy."

Silence.

"OHMYGODYOU'REGAY –"

"I am not!"

Harry, looking as awful as ever – I had just noticed that he was wearing a particularly striking shade of lipstick and eyeshadow –  just stood there watching the exchange, right hand twitching dangerously as he held his wand; so I, being the very voice of Logic Itself, decided to step in before things got any worse than they already were.

"MY NAME IS PANTYMAN AND I'M HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!"

And this, children, is why you should never see Swan Lake.

Three heads whipped around to stare at me.

"Que?" Harry said, nonplussed.

"What?" all three of us said, nonplussed.

"Yeah?" Harry said, nonplussed.

"Huh?" all three of us said, nonplussed.

This was beginning to resemble a pattern.

"Look, I just came up here to get some help," Harry finally said. "As you can see, I'm stuck in this pink frilly thing…"

And Katie thought my fashion sense was bad.

"Well, take it off," Xander said in a "duh" tone, then quickly added, "Just…not in front of us."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, because I didn't think of trying to take it off. Instead, I had to come up with an extremely complex plan that caused me mucho embarrassment just because I felt like it. Volde – sorry, You-Know-Who must be bloody having a field day."

Geez, I had always thought he was slightly lacking in the brains department, but this really takes the cake.

Would it make me a very bad friend if I said "you're dumb"?

"I'm joking, Wood," Harry said exasperatedly, noticing the look on my face.

Right. Which is why I never would.

"Oh! Of course you are!"

D'oh.

"So as I was saying, Fred and George enchanted this stupid thing and now I can't get it off – they say the enchantment's not going to wear off until tomorrow night, and I can't go to the match tomorrow wearing this!" he raged, and began to stomp around pointlessly, poking things with his wand and making them turn hot pink in the process.

"Oy!" Daniel yelled; Harry had just turned his bedspread pink and was now proceeding to the bathroom. "Stop! Halt! Stand still! Do a pirouette! Something!"

To our surprise. Harry's included, he spun gracefully en pointe and landed in what could only be called a graceful manner.

In fact –

"That was a pirouette! I know, because Lanie – you know, my sister, Elaine – constantly tries to do one of those – but she can't, she keeps falling on her face – how do you know how to do a pirouette?" Xander asked, looking completely mystified.

"Well," Harry began, looking slightly uncomfortable, "according to Fred and George, they also enchanted this – thing – so that the wearer would be able to perform any ballet trick they are commanded to…"

Ooh, he's definitely looking more than just a little uncomfortable now.

"Oh, really?" Xander and Daniel said in unison, grins slowly appearing on their faces.

Harry backed away from the two of them, looking at each of them in turn and saying warily, "Hey, I came here for help – you're seventh-years, you're supposed to be the mature ones…oh, bloody hell…"

I looked at my watch; it was getting later and I hadn't even had dinner – I was going to be late for Quidditch practice (Merlin forbid!) if I didn't hurry. It was really too bad; I mean, it's not very often that you get to see The Boy Who Lived dancing ballet in a pink, fluffy tutu. From fighting You-Know-Who to dancing ballet, the Boy Who Lived can do anything! "Potter, don't be late for practice," I called over my shoulder as I left the room.

"What? I'm not going for practice wearing this!" Harry bellowed indignantly.

That boy should really sort out his priorities – like embarrassing yourself by walking around the school in a pink tutu and everlasting makeup should ever stop you from attending your house team's Quidditch practice.

Huh.

Pre-teenagers.

Something's wrong with that girl.

Don't get me wrong, something has always been wrong with her – I mean, she's weird – but SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THAT GIRL.

I tried to say hi to her earlier in the changing rooms, but she just ignored me.

What is up with that? What have I ever done to her to make her so…what's the word…pissy?

"She's in a state of denial," Angelina informed me as I handed her back the Quaffle I had just saved. "I mean, I haven't talked to her since The Incident Involving The Auction, but it's really quite obvious."

I gave her a Look (which I actually have been practicing on for a while, and I think it's nearly perfect – I wonder whether anyone has noticed) that showed her that I thought nothing of her observation. And it was quite fair of me to think that, too, because Angelina's observations are usually warped, insane, and generally stupid.

A Quaffle zoomed past me into one of the hoops and before I knew it, Alicia's face was right in mine, waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"Saturn to Oliver? Oh, there you are – I was beginning to think you were sleeping with your eyes open or something – what's wrong? No, wait, don't tell me, it's Katie, isn't it? Well she's not talking to us either – currently, we're not sure who's mad at who, but we're not talking to her just to be safe – so we can't exactly help you there. Actually, I've got a great idea – oh, hold on, Angie's coming over to practice and I have to go convince George that ham tastes better than cheese, I'll just ask Adelene to tell you later – bye, Oliver!"

And she zoomed off again.

"What was all that about?" Angelina asked me as soon as she got to me, looking back at Alicia who was currently involved in a very energetic debate with George.

"She's talking too much again."

"Ah."

There was a comfortable silence between us as I looked around the pitch, enjoying the cool evening air – almost too cold, in fact, but I wasn't going to stop holding practices for a while yet. In fact, everything was rather dandy until I spotted Katie lurking near the ground in a corner of the pitch by herself. Angelina followed my gaze and grabbed my arm quickly. "Oh, no," she shook her head. "Don't even go there."

"But wh –" I broke off as Katie suddenly looked up at us as if sensing we were talking about her, flashed me a cold look and turned her back on me.

"That's why," Angelina replied sadly, and gave me a sympathetic pat on the arm before flying off.

You know that plan Alicia had?

Well, it had better be good, because nothing short of a stampede of raging Manticores is going to make her talk to me again.

I just wish I knew why.

Practice passed in a blur of me drifting into dreamland, occasionally punctuated with an effort by Fred or George to knock me off my broom. I also received six more looks from Katie, sometimes they were death glares and sometimes they looked all sad and confused, like a lost little puppy dog.

If you ever tell any of the guys I said that, I'll kill you.

I finally walked into the common room with my arms loaded with some heavy books Katie had asked me to read up a while before, a heavy feeling in my stomach.

"Hello," Katie said coolly as I sat down, eyes not meeting mine.

"Er, hi."

Suave, Wood, really suave. Bet you charmed the socks off her, you did.

"I thought we'd get started on the Rising of the Merpeople today, if we finish that by the end of next week we'll be two chapters ahead of Professor Binns. Get out your quill, I'll dictate the important points again."

And so it went on.

On and on, utterly boring and completely impersonal.

Where was the Katie I liked so much? I – no. No, no, she's in there somewhere. I know she is. I'm not giving up on her yet.

"Okay, that's it for tonight. Goodnight."

I looked up from my piece of parchment filled with doodles and notes in my messy handwriting as if I had been jerked out of a stupor of sorts – Merlin, Katie can be more boring than Binns when she wants to be.

Without another word, she gathered up her things and left the room.

That's it?

Feeling slightly miffed, I was about to leave as well when Adelene crept down the stairs toward me.

"Hey, Adelene," I greeted her, feeling slightly surprised. "Isn't it a little late? Why aren't you in bed yet?"

"Oh, Alicia asked me to pass you a message – she was going to do it herself but she kind of…well, fell asleep. You know, you might start thinking about shortening those practices of yours…sorry. Anyway, she says you should invite Katesies to Hogsmeade on Sunday. And I have to go and sleep now, or you'll be stuck carrying me up three flights of stairs. Goodnight!"

That's it!

Why didn't I think of this before? I can ask Katie to go to Hogsmeade with me on Sunday!

But she's not exactly talking to me, is she? So…would she spend a whole day with me? Alone? Mano al mano? Just the two of us?

Who knows?

A/N : And the chapter is OVER!!! I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have taken such a long time. Review and yell at me to hurry it up with the next chappie and I probably will, 'kay? Have a great day! =)