I avoided looking at "her". I looked at everything but "her" in the room. Spike's face was worn, as though he hadn't slept the night before which was true to say the least. He had stayed up worrying about me long after I had lost consciousness and then he had to keep "her" busy. His bright blue eyes had a dull tint to them, which might have been due to the bags underneath. Various bottles of liquor dotted the crypt, explaining without words to me why Spike was so strange last night.
"Bit…" His voice was rasp, as though it took every amount of energy in his body to speak that one word.
'Yes?" I replied and it took me a moment to realize my voice sounded identical to his.
"I'm sorry about last night…there's not excuse for what I said or did,"
"It's ok, Spike," And I got up and walked outside to go to the bathroom. When I returned, he had his head in his hands and if he were anyone other then Spike I would have been positive he was crying. But Spike doesn't cry. He's too strong. "Why were you drinking last night?" The question poured out of my mouth before I even had a chance of stopping it.
"Its no excuse for what I did," He looked up, his eyes meeting mine, and knew that I didn't care. I wanted to know why. I didn't want an excuse. "Big sis stopped by to see me yesterday while you were in school," I nodded. "She kissed me. A month ago…I probably would have taken her right there. You see I was obsessed with that slayer for so long, that having her throw herself at me should have been the happiest day of my unlife," I looked down. He didn't care about me. He just wanted Buffy. "But it wasn't, Bit, because a month ago, I didn't know about these," His hands lightly touched the scars on my arms. "A month ago, I didn't have these feelings I have. You were like a little sister to me…and then you started to grow up right before my eyes. I guess when Buffy came back I was too distracted to notice. So it was like one day, there's this bundle of innocence and fun and the next…there's this beautiful woman with scars on her arms and no one to help dry the blood. I left you alone, Nibblet, I'll admit that. As soon as the slayer stepped back into this world, I forgot. I forgot about the promise, about what fun we had, and all I cared about was getting into her good graces again. Getting her to forgive me for failing her. For letting her die. I remember now, Dawn, I remember,"
"Mommy," My eyes must have widened in fear because Spike gathered "her" into his arms and took "her" to the other side of the room. They sat there and played with brightly colored blocks. I smiled a small smile, wrapping the blanket tighter around me. Why exactly did the "Big Bad" have blocks in his crypt, I'll never know. I was just thankful at the moment for them as I drifted back of into sleep.
A/n: Ok, I was questioning putting this on hold for a while. Then I worked it out in my head. Everything with the little girl will be explained next chapter. Review please….
