Let me just explain that I am not the best person when dealing with upset people. I don't like it when people cry or get emotional, although I tend to more than anyone I know. I don't like when other people are. Especially Snape. It means something is really wrong or he's drunk again. Which couldn't have been the latter because it was six in the morning.

He sobbed into my hair for a few more moments. I really did not know what to do. Sometimes when I cry into Ron's shoulder, he'll try and feel my bra through my shirt. It feels really good and it usually cheers me up. Alright so pretend Snape is wearing a bra…HAHA! Oh for the love of everything holy don't laugh.

Stifling giggles I whispered soothing stuff into his ear as I rubbed his back. I said something that must of snapped him out of his emotional frenzy. I think it was when I started explaining about sprinkles and butterflies that he sniffed one last time and looked up at me with WHAT-THE-FUCK-ARE-YOU-ON? Look. I blushed and just pushed his face back into my chest.

"I'm fine," Snape said clearly embarrassed. "You're worse than my mother."

"Excuse me. You got snot in my hair," I said looking for a tissue.

"Well I'm sorry!" Snape snarled. "Old Snivellus is at it again! Sniveling his way all over the place!"

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"Snivellus," Snape said like it was obvious. "I am just Snivellus to everyone."

"Ok I don't know what that word means," I said taking his hands in mine.

"Something Potter and Black came up with," Snape said with plenty of scorn.

"I still do not get it," I said shaking my head.

"You know snot," Snape said with another dirty glance at me.

"Well that's stupid," I said dropping his hands.

"What?" Snape asked staring at me weirdly.

"Get over it! I'm called mudblood everyday. I got over it," I said impatiently. I didn't really know where this spit of courage was coming from.

"No but this is something rude," Snape said. I looked at him incredulously.

"And mudblood is-?" I asked angrily.

"Something completely different," Snape said finally.

"Bite me," I said stalking into the kitchen.

"So you are just telling me to forget all the things that made my life hell?" Snape asked like I was crazy. Which I am pretty sure I am.

"Yes! Crap all that hostility bottled up is going to boil over. Or already has…" I said frowning. "I don't know."

"So I should just let it go?" Snape asked looking like he was considering this.

"Or hold on to it. Whatever," I said and looked for a plate. "Where are all your plates and cups and stuff?" I asked glancing around at the bare cupboards.

"Somewhere," Snape muttered distracted. "I should just let it go," Snape was now repeating this like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

"Yes and then you should find me a plate," I said in a misty voice trying to burrow into his subconscious. Snape gave a small whoop and walked from the room. I just completely froze. Snape just whooped. I am not sure what this means. Surely this is a sign that the world is ending. Crap and I was planning on getting my hair trimmed when I got out of here.

Snape returned minutes later carrying a box and a journal.

"Packing?" I asked nodding at the box.

"No," Snape said handing me a journal and opening the box.

I flipped through the pages of the journal and recognized his tidy scrawl.

"Are you alright?" I asked slightly afraid.

"Me? I'm fine! Spiffing!" Snape said with enthusiasm.

"I think someone found a bottle of happy pills," I said glancing over at the door where Sage disappeared instantly. "Did anything taste funny when you ate it?"

"Nothing tastes funny! The world is always good!" Snape cried spreading his arms wide.

"Yeah, whatever," I muttered not sure what to do. I am pretty sure that either Sage or Lola slipped some sort of Happy Charm into Snape's food thinking they were helping.

"Did you know that I was such a dork in school?" Snape said laughing. He snorted wildly and looked at odd mementos of Hogwarts.

"Oh yeah?" I asked rolling my eyes. The worst that would happen is he would force me to make a pillow buddy. Or sing or something.

"I had no friends! Well I mean I had Malfoy. But he doesn't count," Snape said with another wild giggle.

"I think you need to lie down," I whispered.

"I think you need to turn that frown upside down!" Snape cried happily.

I shook my head once and then looked through the journal.

"Hey did you know that Voldemort wears footed jammies to bed?" Snape whispered like a gossiping girl.

"What?" I cried in disgust.

"Kidding," Snape sang.

"Funny," I lied. "I really think you need to sit. I don't think it's safe to stand."

"Do you know why I am saving you?" Snape asked with a giggle.

"You have a hero complex?" I muttered reading from the journal.

"No, because I couldn't stand for you to die. I had always admired you. Mind you, you are hands down the MOST annoying person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting, but something about you always stuck. Plus if I save you Harry might hear me out before killing me," Snape said his voice becoming groggier.

"Oh yeah well I will make sure Harry will hear what you have to say before he kills you," I said watching as Snape was looking at old pictures.

"This is my mother," Snape said thrusting a picture into my hands.

"She was very pretty," I said honestly.

"She was. Then she met my father, had me, and let her life get shot to hell. Became a weak, pitiful person," Snape said shaking his head. "My father killed her after I went to school. I think she was waiting until she knew I was safe."

I glanced over at him. He wasn't crying. Yet. He looked like I do before I feel unwanted tears spring into my eyes.

"All I wanted was to go to a place where I wasn't picked on. But no! Sirius Black and James Potter had to make sure my life was a living crap bucket!" Snape said his words completely slurred.

I turned to him. He looked miserable. "Well they're dead now," I said. I didn't know why I said it.

"Yeah, they're dead now," Snape muttered again. "Want to go plant some roses?"

"No," I said frowning at him incredulously.

"It'll be fun!" Snape said leaping from the room. I am so confused.

"Sage!" I hissed frantically. "Sage!"

Sage inched out from behind the door looking scared.

"Did you put something in his drink?" I asked in a stern voice.

"No Miss," Sage said but he was nodding.

"Is that a no?" I asked frowning.

"Yes Miss," Sage said but he was shaking his head furiously.

"Is that a yes?" I tried again.

"No Miss," Sage answered once again nodding and smiling. I rolled my eyes.

The kitchen door banged open and Snape walked in wearing a giant sun hat. It was straw with a green bow. Then on his hands there were work gloves and some tools in his hands. He was wearing khakis and a green button up shirt. His hear was brushed back and slipped under the hat. And on his feet where sandals. He did have sandals, obviously hidden in the DO-NOT-OPEN-UNLESS-I-GO-CRAZY box.

"Oh my God!" I cried when I saw him. It was the only way to react. I mean how would you feel if you saw Voldemort in a Sunday suit and tie? Same way if you saw Snape in khakis and sandals. "What are you wearing?" I cried.

"All that black wasn't working for me!" Snape said. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the garden. It was all fenced in with a giant stone wall which had dead vines crawling over it. The house itself was a dark stone color covered in ivy.

Snape led me down a broken stoned path to a piece of bare earth.

"What are you doing?" I asked kinda hoping he was just going to bury me alive. I was worried about what would happen if he snapped out of this.

"Planting seeds," Snape said smiling like a crazy person.

"Seeds?" I repeated and watched as he lay a mat down for out knees. I kneeled next to him and was promptly handed a pair of gloves, a cup full of seeds, and a shovel.

"Yes you plant them," Snape explained.

"I know what you do with seeds," I snarled. He just laughed.

"You seem really miserable," Snape said. I turned to him annoyed.

"Hello kettle? You're black," I muttered beginning my digging because I was still slightly afraid.

Twenty minutes later I hated all forms of nature. I have been bitten by some sort of bug several times, there is dirt so far up my nails I am going to needs a nail file to get it out. I am betting he doesn't have one. There is dirt in my hair and all in my gloves. I am sweaty, my shirt is sticking to my back, my hair is glued to my neck. And Snape's happy pills are slowly wearing off and he is now cursing fiercely.

He finally shook his head twice and looked at me.

"What are we doing?" Snape asked sounding angry.

"Well you wanted to garden," I snapped throwing down my shovel.

"What am I wearing?" Snape asked in disgust and looked at his clothes.

"Proper gardening attire," I said smirking.

"So, knowing I was charmed, you let me come out here and make a fool of myself?" Snape asked furiously.

"I think you would have done that in there too," I said pointing to the house. "No was not an option. You basically dragged me out here. Plus I was afraid I had never seen you act like that."

"Act like what?" Snape asked turning pink.

"Like a kid getting dropped off with a bag of gold in Honeydukes," I said watching as he closed his eyes. "How much do you remember?"

"I remember sitting on the table. And sitting with you. We talked and I-" Snape stopped. I just nodded and told him to continue. He looked mortified but continued. "And then it all goes fuzzy."

"Interesting," I muttered. "Well I'm going to go…" I started to get up when Snape stopped me.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Snape asked furiously.

"Somewhere that isn't right here," I said angrily trying to walk again. "I smell."

"So what else did I say?" Snape asked hopping up looking embarrassed.

"Something about letting it all go. Then you came out with a box and a journal," I said watching as he sprinted into the house.

"OH NO!" Snape bellowed. I rolled my eyes.

As I entered the house Snape was quickly trying to put everything back in the box.

"What are you doing?" I asked annoyed.

"Just go away," Snape muttered.

"You really shouldn't bottle crap up. I bet if Voldemort had a therapist or someone to let his feelings pour into, he wouldn't be attempting world domination," I said seriously. "I actually have someone's card…" I muttered searching my pockets.

"Did you just suggest Lord Voldemort have a therapy session?" Snape asked in a voice I didn't recognize.

"Yes. Actually you all should. Death Eaters, I mean. Most of you have some sort of sick sense of a father figure in him. Whether it be the fact that for seven years of your impressionable life you were away at a school with hundreds of other students some not so nice. Or it could be the fact that you didn't have the best father who, in the little time you spent together, managed to fuck you up so much that you are desperately searching for someone to replace that image of what you think the perfect father should be," I said. Snape was staring at me like I was crazy, which I sure I am. "I had a group therapy session after my sister died and there was a kid who was latching on to the person who takes your tickets at the movies, moving pictures that tell a story, because the guy gave him some free popcorn. See this kid had just lost his father and he was desperate to try and get him back that he actually went searching for someone to replace him. Which is what I think all you Death Eaters did. That or you were trying to impress someone which is so stupid."

Snape stared at me like I was insane, for the longest time. He just stared at me with this expression I wear whenever Ron tries to speak with an entire steak in his mouth.

Then Snape turned and walked from the room. Just like that. I know I'm right.

A/N Please read and review.