Harry Potter and the Order of the French-Fries (Order of the Phoenix, actually no spoilers in this unless you haven't figured out that Harry always goes home to the Dursleys over the summer)
Harry came down to the kitchen one afternoon and found Aunt Petunia frantically rearranging the refrigerator.
"Oh dear," she said. "I forgot to go shopping. We don't have any food for dinner."
"Not like we were eating much anyway," Harry grumbled.
"What will we do?" Uncle Vernon asked.
"We'll just have to go out to eat," Aunt Petunia told him.
"I thought Dudley was still on his diet," Harry grumbled, but quietly enough that they didn't hear him. No way was he ruining a chance to get some real food.
They piled into the car and drove to McDonalds.
Dudley, happy that no one had remembered his diet, ordered five of the biggest burgers they had. And a large milkshake. And then fries on top of that. And a sundae for after he ate his burgers.
Harry ordered a salad. And a milk. He considered getting a cookie, but figured he'd just infuriate Dudley by stealing spoonfuls of his sundae instead.
Dudley had finished his burgers and started eating his fries when he hit the limit. Having eaten too much, he began to swell up.
Uncle Vernon yelled at Harry because he thought Harry was doing magic. "Stop it! You already blew up one member of this family and that is quite enough!"
People began to stare. Dudley had inflated like a balloon and was floating away gently in the breeze. Harry would have laughed, but Uncle Vernon would have considered that proof that he was at fault. So Harry waited until they got home and he was in his room listening to the Dursleys downstairs trying to deflate Dudley. Then he cracked up.
Here's the Order of French Fries, as requested by buttered-onions. Hey, if anyone else has an idea, shout it out, I'm starting to run out of titles to write about. It's okay if you don't, I won't sic the rabid weasel on you for being uncreative. But you'd better review anyway! *menaces readers with slobbering weasel until they hit the review button*
Buttered-onions: Happy fourth of July to you, too, except it's not the fourth anymore. Um, the prisoners of randomness could be anybody. Just pick a person at random. Like…him! *points to person walking by, who looks startled and hurries away*
Lara Potter: Crickets? Okay…grasshoppers!
scarletngrayangel: Yeah, we've already established that it's random. Do any of you reviewers know any adjectives other than random? How about off-the-wall? Now there's a good phrase. But I'm glad you're liking it!
Potter-Freak123: You eat squirrels? *hides the rabid weasel* Um, if the warm fuzzy feeling was from my story after all, thanks for the compliment. If it was the squirrel…HEY PETA! THE SQUIRREL WENT THIS WAY!
