WARNING: Burning, slapstick comedy and cartoon violence involved. Read at your own risk.

Author's Note and Disclaimer: First let me say, I do not own Sailor Moon or any of its characters. I also have no money so please don't sue me. This story was inspired by a conversation with two of my friends. Thanks to our nick names (Haruka, Setsuna and Michiru) and my sad attempt to refill a butane lighter this story started.

Enjoy.

Haruka's Bad Day

By: Anna IceDragon

'Bright, warm Saturday morning.' Haruka smiled as she stretched her arms above her head. She had to admit that she loved weekends. No school, sometimes no races, generally no worries recently. She slowly climbed out of bed and walked off toward her closet. 'I love Saturday.' She thought happily.

626

The four outer scouts shared a small mansion like home. The area around it was large and they were able to keep their privacy with little problems. The rich neighborhood was quiet, houses spaced far apart and generally gated. Their home stood a top a small hill, past a gate, up a small private road and surrounded by trees. Sometimes it seemed like there were no neighbors, since the trees blocked any view of them.

Haruka was relaxing in the living room when she heard some one call her. Following the voice she ended up in the small library with Setsuna. The woman's red eyes looked onto her as she entered the room and watched as she approached. The whole thing gave Haruka a weird feeling, but she shrugged it off. Setsuna was like a sister to her most of the time.

"What do you need, Suna?" She asked with the same smile she showed to every pretty girl. Haruka had a tendency to use that smile on these Saturday mornings too.

For a time no answer came, only silence. The guardian of time looked up at here from an armchair. Red eyes scanned up and down the blonde for a long moment. As the silence stretched Haruka began to fidget now and then. She'd never liked staying still when she had other things she could do.

"Don't worry, Ruka." Setsuna all but purred as she stood. The younger senshi gave the red-eyed woman an odd look at the out of character tone. "You look very nice today."

"Uh, thanks Setsuna." She said, almost jumping out of her skin when Setsuna's hand landed on her shoulder. It stayed there as the other woman leaned down next to her ear.

"I could teach you a few tricks, if you want." Setsuna whispered near Haruka's ear. "You'd be amazed what can be done with soy sauce."

"What are you talking about?" Haruka gave in to total confusion and pulled away. She looked at Setsuna only to get an odd smile in return. Before anything could be said Hotaru ran into the room and tugged on Haruka's sleeve.

"Haruka-papa, I need your help." Pleaded the ten year old as Setsuna walked out. Haruka gave a sigh of relief before looking at her daughter.

"What do you want me to do, hime-chan?" She asked, though her mind was still trying to figure out what just happened.

"Can you fill this lighter? I have the fuel right here." Hotaru begged as they left the library and walked down the hall.

"Sure." Haruka took the items offered with out thinking and stepped onto the porch. She placed the fuel canister to the little intake port of the lighter and pressed down. Unfortunately all this did was create a cloud of butane around the blonde's pants, lower torso and hands. She tried several times, until she began to wonder when the tank would run out, and still the lighter would not work. Finally she stopped and looked back at her charge, which stood a safe distance from the fuel cloud about her "papa".

"Hima-chan, why do you have a lighter?" Haruka questioned as she examined both items again. Why wouldn't it work?

"I wanted to try smoking, Haruka-papa." Came the simple answer. It was followed by a muffled curse and the thud of a dropped fuel canister. Hotaru tilted her head and regarded the older woman with curiosity. "What's wrong, Haruka-papa?"

"Setsuna has a thing about soy sauce, ten year old Hotaru wants to smoke, and I am just confused." Haruka mutter under her breath. She rubbed her head and thought for a moment. After a few minutes a thought came to mind. "Hotaru-chan, why don't you go ask your Setsuna-mama about smoking?"

"Okay!" The ten year old raced back into the house as one of her parents slunk toward the kitchen.

"I can't handle that talk today." Haruka mutter as she opened a cupboard. She rummaged around until she found a little package. Pulling out the pack of instant ramen she filled a pot with water and went to the stove. Still in a daze she quickly turned the knob to ignite the stovetop.

626

Michiru nearly dropped her violin as an odd scream erupted from the kitchen. She set down the instrument and looked out into the hall where a confused Hotaru could only point at the front door. Suddenly Setsuna ran back into the house toward the back door. She skidded to a stop as she saw Michiru standing there.

"Michi, Michi, Michi!" She exclaimed, eyes wide as she pointed out toward the back. "Ruka's on fire!"

Michiru's eyes went wide as she turned and ran outside. The two women emerged into the back just as a running, flaming Haruka rounded the house. She barreled past as Setsuna grabbed a garden hose. Soon Michiru stood watching as Setsuna chased the flaming woman near the pool with the hose, though it didn't do much.

626

Haruka couldn't stop running. Everything below mid stomach was now in flames. She vaguely realized that Setsuna was following her around with a hose, vaguely heard Michiru tell her to stop running. She kept going in circles around the back yard and skirting the pool. She didn't hear when Michiru transformed into Sailor Neptune but she did hear what came next.

"Deep Submerge!" A large ball of water raced toward the blonde as she turned to look. Setsuna scrambled back the way she came, avoiding the blast.

It struck full force, driving Haruka back toward the pool behind her and soaking through her cloths. She tried her best to stand her ground against what was a light attack from her partner. It hurt on her burns but put out the flames in one swift move. The attack was soon over and Haruka tittered at the edge of the pool. She locked eyes on Neptune as she waved her arms trying to stay on dry land. Soon her view tilted back ward and water again obscured her vision.

626

Michiru let her transformation drop as she and Setsuna ran to the pool edge, hose now forgotten. As they looked down into the water Hotaru ran over beside them. For a moment all they saw were bubbles left from the impact and traces of reddish water. Just when they were ready to jump in after her, Haruka surfaced. No one spoke as the blonde treaded water and calmly looked up at her family.

"Are you alright Haruka-papa? What's the red stuff in the water?" Hotaru asked, showing at least mild innocence.

"I'm fine now, hime-chan." Haruka covered a wince as she turned her attention back to the older two. "But I think your Michiru-mama should drive to go visit Ami-chan's mother."

"Of course." Michiru replied, catching the hint that she didn't want to say hospital to their daughter. "But first we need to get you out of the pool and find some towels for you precious car."

She was quiet as the two woman helped to gently pull her from the water. She was quiet as she was wrapped in several towels and helped into her yellow convertible. She was quiet as Michiru began to drive them toward the hospital. Finally a small look between humor and confusion crossed her face.

"I was already out before I hit the pool." She said like a child who had been sent to take a second shower.

"I know, Ruka." Michiru said quietly as she looked straight a head. She fought down any hint of what she was feeling, trying not to upset her partner.

"You want to laugh, don't you?" Haruka said after a moment's silence. Her voice conveyed amazement. "You find it funny."

"No." Michiru tried but it got her a glare. After a while she gave in to the smile tugging at her lips. "Oh, come on, Haruka. You know you are going to wish there was a camera."