Four Months Later
May I just say that today is November 4, and I have not died yet? I am sitting out on Snape's porch, drinking a nice non-alcoholic drink with an umbrella. A bright pink sun hat is sitting on my head, and large white sun-glasses are covering my eyes from the burning sun. It should be getting cold soon, I suppose I mean it is November. Oh did I mention we're still married? Yeah apparently we cant get an annulment or a divorce until Snape was sure it was all over. What was all over, you ask?
Authorities were coming around rounding up Death Eaters, Snape was afraid that if they came here, saw me, they would arrest him before he could finish. Snape plans on bringing Dumbledore back from the dead. I don't think that is the best of ideas, but Snape said that Dumbledore isn't really dead, it was all a plan to get Harry to continue on his own. Whatever. So apparently, everyone I know thinks I've run off and married Snape. They all hate me now. My mother is all upset I didn't tell her, she isn't mad that I married Snape, she liked him.
"Hermione will you kindly get inside before you get skin-cancer," Snape called from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and heaved myself up. I heaved myself up out of the chair and walked into the house. I've done a lot of heaving, and pulling because I've gained weight. My cheeks look like but cheeks and my arms and legs are much fuller than they have ever been. Also, my breasts are huge! They're like mini bowling ball held together by the strongest bra known to mankind. Plus I've got some sort of virus and I keep vomiting all over the place, Snape says I must have eaten something bad.
"Yes my dear, sweet husband what can I do for you today? Would you like to sell me to pay off the debt on your house?" I asked sarcastically. Me and Snape semi-get along. Sometimes we fight to the point where if we stay near each other, we'll kill each other. I've already flung a pot at him. My aim, for once in my life, was perfect and hit him in the back of the head. He freaked out and called me all types of names that only made me throw other things at him.
"No, I want you to rest. You look all peakish and you were up this morning vomiting. Take a shower, get into fresh clothes, and take a nap. When you wake up I'll have those stupid cookies you like and a nice batch of tea waiting for you," Snape said not looking up from his book. I paused. That did sound tempting, but did I want to annoy him?
"Ok," I said happily and went into OUR bedroom. That's right, I still have to share a room with him. That stupid spell makes us sleep in the same bed. He snores and hogs the covers and once his hand slapped onto my face and nearly smothered me to death. It was really lucky I was already awake from when he had kicked me.
Once I reached the bedroom I undressed and made my way into the bathroom where there was two of everything. Two sinks, two showers head in the biggest shower ever, two baths, and two toilets and a urinal. I love it because if Snape is taking a crap long in the showers, I can use my own and that way we don't fight each other on slippery floors.
I showered quickly and walked out of the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I gaped, peaking out from my stomach was a tiny lump. Oh my god I have a tumor! I really am dying!
I must have been yelling really loud because Snape came running in. He looked at me for a moment before taking a deep breath to calm himself.
"What is the matter?" he finally asked looking for a towel.
"Look! I have a tumor," I moaned and made him put his hand on it. He frowned slightly and felt it more.
"That isn't a tumor! Really the lack of school has made you stupid," Snape said angrily. "Maybe lay off the sweets and that little tummy will go away."
"My tummy will go away? I am not fat you stupid bastard!" I yelled mortified. He just called me fat. I stomped past him into the room where I sat down at my vanity and fumed. Snape walked into the bathroom and sat at his desk writing something on a piece of paper, I took no notice and began to brush my hair out. I looked up at the wall, at the calendar and saw the date.
I should have had my period last week, and the week before that, and the week before that. I gulped slightly and slid my hands down to my stomach. This is not happening. I am not pregnant! I am eighteen years old and this is Snape. Snape! How am I going to tell anyone that I had Severus Snape's love child after he kidnapped me and forced me into a marriage? This baby is going to think we're idiots.
"Snape," I called quietly.
"Yes?" Snape asked not looking.
"I missed my last five periods," I said closing my eyes. Snape was silent and I didn't hear the scratching of a quill or a sarcastic remark which usually is shoved into our conversations.
"The last five?" Snape finally asked.
"Yeah," I said sadly.
"Well that doesn't mean anything," Snape said in a gruff voice.
"Snape, one or two doesn't mean anything. Five means something, and the bump and…oh gods! I have all the symptoms! I'm preg-"
"Don't say it!" Snape warned turning around. I glanced at him and saw he looked nervous and upset. "I can not have a baby ok?"
"You did ask me to have your heir," I recalled smirking as he looked upset and embarrassed.
"That was a joke…are you joking?" Snape asked suddenly narrowing his eyes. "I think you've already done this one. Nice try though, had me going for a bit."
"Snape, call a doctor or buy me a test. I am most likely pregnant, or barren…," I trailed off hoping it wasn't the last one. I would like to have other kids.
"Why are you so calm about this?" Snape asked sharply.
"Because…," I didn't know why. Well alright, it just felt right. "I don't know. This just doesn't seem upsetting. Well what are you going to do? I am not killing it, so I say you have two choices. Let me go now, and I'll move in with my parents or something, or I stay here, have the baby and give it a proper family. We are married after all. But I will not stay here and listen to all these false promises and hopes, only to have you throw them back into my face as soon as this baby arrives. So choose, you don't have to do it now…but I'm not going to stay here and get my heart stomped on," I said my chest rising and falling with emotion.
Snape stared at me for a moment before getting up and walking from the room. Amazing.
I went into bed and crawled into the white covers. My head lay against the giant pillow, my hands now on my stomach. What am I going to do? This is not how anything is supposed to go! I cant have a baby! Babies are for people who deserve them. Snape doesn't deserve it…yes he does…
Snape should have a baby. Maybe then, he wouldn't be so frigging bitter. This baby could be a blessing in disguise or a miracle in diapers.
I was just drifting off to sleep when Snape stomped back into the room.
"Fine," Snape said sitting on the bed. I opened my eyes and saw he looked strained. "Fine. I'll be there for this baby because it deserves a family. And I want to be here…I'm not going to say it," Snape warned as I smirked.
"You loooooooove me," I sang in a sleepy voice.
"No I don't," Snape protested his face instantly turning pink.
"Yes you do," I said sitting up in bed. "Its ok if you don't want to say it. I'm not one of those people who needs to hear it all the time. Although you have told me it before…when you thought I was unconscious. Still, same sentiment."
Snape glared at me for a moment. "So when is this baby going to make it's arrival?" Snape asked staring at my stomach like it was a rare potion.
"I don't know," I said shrugging. I flopped back into bed and began to fall back into my slumber, my eyes were heavy when I felt another weight onto the bed and Snape had slipped in.
Alright so we say we hate each other, and all we do is fight and scream, but I really think that's how we show love. Well I think that's how Snape shows love, I'm not sure I've never really asked him.
The Next Morning
I just vomited like seventeen times and fell back asleep against the toilet. Snape has to come in and drag me out onto the couch in the living room. Then he brought me soup and tea and a cookie. Also there was a small red rose sitting in a crystal vase on top of the tray.
"That's sweet," I commented pointing at it. He just stopped.
"Lola put the tray together," Snape said.
"No she didn't," I said smiling.
"Yes she did," Snape snapped.
"Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape has a heart!" I called instantly choking on a noodle.
"That's Gods way of telling you to stop singing," Snape said then left the room quickly. He returned a minute later with a bottle of water, which he poured into a cup and made me drink so I didn't die.
"Thank you," I muttered gulping down the cool water so that my brain could regain some oxygen. "I really should see a doctor."
"I've scheduled one to come and give you a check-up tomorrow. Then we can discuss where in the house you plan to have the baby," Snape said.
"Oh that's easy. No where," I said frowning at him. "I am not having the baby in the house."
"Yes you are," Snape said clearing away my food with a wave of his hands.
"No!" I snapped. "You don't make these types of decisions. When you are the one shoving the baby, which is the size of a watermelon, out of something the size of a lemon, I'll let you call some shots. Until then, we do it my way. Got it?" I asked waiting for him to agree and apologize.
"We'll see," Snape said vaguely. He walked out of the room and I heaved myself out of the sitting position and made my way into the bedroom.
'We'll see.' Smug bastard.
I walked past the mirror in the bedroom and saw my stomach poking out of my shirt. I stopped and placed my hands on it. Then I turned to the side and rubbed my hands over the bump. My skin was smooth and seemed to be stretched quite much to make room for this tiny little human who was growing inside of me. I wonder what we're having. If we have a girl, maybe Snape will let us try again and give himself a son also. Or, maybe if we have a boy, he'll still let me have another baby and then I'll get a girl.
This is the weirdest marriage ever. Husband and wife cant stand each other, they have a baby which was by a complete mistake, and lived semi-happier ever after?
What am I going to do? I probably don't have any friends I can call and just chat with after what happened. I really just want my mother to come into the room, sit on my bed, and tell me that everything will be ok. She would know what to do. She always did…
"I thought maybe you could go see your parents or something," Snape said his voice muffled. I smiled.
"I think that would be great," I called feeling happier.
A/N Sorry it took so long to update but I was really loaded with work and whatnot. I promise to never leave you without an update for longer than a week. Alright? I may even do one a day depending on the work load. But I promise you wont go months with nothing written. That annoys me, so pleas read and review.
