I glared at Snape waiting for him to say something. I noticed that Tonks had checked out a few moments ago leaving the two alone for a moment.
"You know over the years I have thought of you as many things. Snobby, bossy, annoying, rude, inconsiderate, a know it all," Snape listed.
"Flattery will get you no where," I said sarcastically swallowing all my anger that was going to erupt in me any minute.
"But selfish was never one of them," Snape finished after a moment. I raised my eyebrows at him. Snape just called me selfish. Uh, hello kettle? Yeah you're black.
"I'm selfish?" I snarled angrily. My hands were clenched into fists tightly at my side. I noticed that Snape had a bandage over his nose from where I punched him. "How am I selfish?"
"I believe you are planning on taking my unborn child and leaving without even a goodbye," Snape said carefully with some stupid look he has. It's the one he uses when he knows he's right and you know he's right, but he's daring you to deny it or something.
"So?" I asked falling into his trap. I didn't care. This was my baby, my life he messed up. Why should I listen to a thing he has to say.
"What do you mean so?" Snape snapped. "I don't want you too."
"That is not your decision," I snarled.
"The hell it isn't," Snape roared angrily. He was so loud some poor old dear flipped out and glared at us. I rolled my eyes and inched closer to him slightly.
"Snape you forced me into a marriage after you falsely kidnapped me. Then you think you have any right to tell me where I can and can not go? You are so lucky I didn't blast your balls Iceland," I said gesturing with my wand. Snape shifted slightly so that his hands were in front of his crotch.
"That is my baby in there," Snape said pointing at my stomach.
"And it's mine and I have the right to do what I think is right for it," I said sadly. "It would never work with us. First of all you hate me. And second of all, I don't think I need to explain your hate of children."
"That is so not true," Snape said stomping his foot. "I don't hate children. Just the annoying ones."
I sighed, I was expecting him to say that he didn't hate me or something.
"I need time and…space to think about some things. I would like it if you left me alone for a while. When I get back we'll talk or something," I said and turned around and began to walk away. I didn't look back when he called my name. As soon as I got around a secluded corner, I Apparated to our summer home in France.
Two Months Later
Pregnancy, without help, is a bust. I mean my feet swell and I have back pains and no one to rub them. I get all weepy and I don't have anyone to talk to. I talk to the baby and tell her all about her grumpy father and how he must hate me as of now. I told her that when I get back, in true Snape forum, he will have forgotten all about me and insist I was delusional.
Plus my stomach is huge like this baby must be coming out some other way, because if she weighs fifteen pounds I am not pushing her out. I hate how that is such a tiny opening! You would think it would grow a little bit larger than what it is. I was thinking maybe it would open like two feet and allow the baby to gently slide out like a playground tube. So apparently you have to push the baby out. And it only opens ten centimeters. Can you believe that? It's a friggin tight fit.
I like to sit down on the porch and watch the sun set. That is when I begin to talk to the baby about her father. I tell her how we met, when I was eleven and he was thirty-one. I tell her how he is the grumpiest man alive and how I used to cry every time he yelled at me. Although now I find it amusing.
It was this certain night that I was sitting watching the sun set, that I decided to go back. I was sitting on my rocking chair looking out at the pink sky. The city down below came alive with the twinkle of lights from the lamps in houses. People turned on their street lamps, and the shadows grew three feet.
I held onto my stomach and I was talking about Snape and the baby moved. I gasped and gripped onto my stomach in excitement. And then it hit me, not only was Snape not here to experience this, the baby reacted to Snape's name.
"Snape," I tried again and there was a small movement from my belly. I clapped gleefully and thought about the baby. "I'll go back." I decided right then.
The next morning I got up early and packed my bags. Not really much to pack, just tiny things I've knitted for the baby and some letters and books and whatever. I pushed my hair back and looked over the house that has been my home for the past two months. It was clean, as I am Hermione, and quiet. It was secluded enough that if I wanted to I could skip around the backyard naked. But not so secluded that if I choked and died I wouldn't be found for months.
I sighed and shrunk my stuff to an appropriate size. Then, before I left this hideaway, I sat down and opened all sixty of Snape's letters. I hadn't read or opened any of them for fear he would make me regret my decision or something. I knew I needed space to think, and see how much I really loved him, if any. I found that although I wasn't head over heels, had to have him now, love. I could possibly fall deep in love. I believe that to achieve true love you need to work at it. It doesn't happen over night, and that love that does is so thin that it is constantly breaking into pieces.
So there I was reading letters explaining to me his life story. Things I am pretty sure I'm the first one to know. He tells me about why exactly he became a Death Eater, James Potter. Why he hates Harry, James Potter. Why he is always so damn bitter, his father, James Potter, his lack of emotions. I smiled at some parts and felt tears in others.
He asked me at the end of every letter, to speak to the baby and give her his love. I made sure I did every time I finished one. I swear she jumped just at the mention of him. I sighed and lifted myself up to get ready for my journey. Once everything was back into my pockets and closed my eyes. The familiar whooshing sound whipped around my body as I zoomed across the country sides. Finally I felt my feet hit a firm surface and opened them. I was standing in the living room of what was my house.
I took my bags out of my pocket. One time I forgot to, and then they somehow uncharmed in my pockets and my pants ripped and I was stuck in my knickers for about two hours. Really funny story to tell at Christmas time or whatever.
I peaked around the corner and didn't see anyone. Oh Merlin, he left. That's it. He just took off and left me and the baby. Well I did actually leave him and didn't answer his letters and refused to talk to him. That didn't mean I wasn't coming back or whatever.
There was a noise from the bedroom and I slowly ran to it. Snape was sitting up in bed smelling like scotch. I could smell it from the doorway. Horrible thing to smell first thing in the morning. Like waking up and being like, Hey is that a skunk in my bed? Amazing.
He looked at me and stared at me in disbelief. I watched him for a moment and then shrugged. He just patted the bed and I walked over to it and sat down next to him. He handed me a section of the paper and we both began to silently read. After a moment I noticed he stopped and was watching me intently.
"Yes?" I asked quietly afraid I was going to break the nice, non-fighting we were doing.
"You came back," Snape replied like I'm an idiot. I do know where I am and who with.
"I know I did. I told you I was coming back. You didn't believe me?" I asked innocently.
"Nope," Snape answered bluntly. I stopped reading.
"Why not? I just needed to think," I said coldly.
"Someone told me that when you set your mind to something, it's pretty hard to talk you out of it," Snape answered still watching me.
"Oh was it freckled or an orphan?" I asked unable to keep the anger out of my voice. You think two months forgetting what happened would help or something.
"No more like your mother," Snape replied easily avoiding the fight he could pick.
I paused then smiled.
"So I was thinking Elizabeth for the baby. Libby for short," I said glancing at him.
"I was thinking Zoe," Snape replied not looking up from the paper.
"Zoe?" I asked thinking about it. "I could live with Zoe."
"Or Noelle," Snape countered almost silently.
"Noelle?" I said once again thinking about it. "Noelle Snape…we'll see."
"Or Katherine," I said biting my lip.
"I like Katherine," Snape answered once again not looking up. His tone told me he heard my answer. "I also think you need to see a doctor."
"I know," I said rolling my eyes. "I'm not having the baby here."
"We'll see," Snape replied ruffling my hair. Yup, he ruffled my hair like I'm a child. Or something. I am no child, see I am carrying his child and whatever.
"I'm not," I snapped forcefully.
"Alright," Snape said again and I growled in frustration. He just smiled over at me and pulled me into a weird hug. I think this is about as much compassion as Snape can muster. Which is fine, it's all I need. Well besides a few essentials. I wont list them because it would take too long and I need to pee.
I got out of bed and noticed something bright shining from my old room. I glanced into it and slowly walked in. There was a baby's room. There was a giant white brass crib with some gauzy material making a canopy over it. Then there was the walls, which were painted white, had little rose buds painted onto them. It was a subtle but amazing change. The carpet had turned into a oak dark maple floors that matched the dark furniture. There was a fern green chair sitting in the corner where I could rest my feet and breast feed, it had a little rocky stool that my feet could rest on. The closet was filled with little outfits that Snape must have picked out. Also in the changing table there were piles of diapers.
I felt myself well up again. This time it was ok to cry because it was such a nice thing for him to do for me. I turned to him and smiled. He just nodded at me and went back to reading. He was excited, I could feel it even though he didn't express it as much as maybe I did.
"Hey want to see something?" I asked after my pee break.
"Always," Snape answered dutifully.
"Snape," I said and he almost said what, but I had placed my hand on his stomach, and the baby jumped. He took his hand away quickly like it burnt him.
"What the bloody hell was that?" Snape asked his voice sounding high and pitchy.
"The baby reacts to your name," I said smiling at his nervousness.
Snape slowly reached his hand back onto my stomach and I said his name again. The baby must have long legs because there were two different places where she kicked.
A/N Please read and review. And Sara, I am so glad to be back on your favorites.
