Harry Potter and the Goblet of Pliers (Goblet of Fire)

Argus Filch was mopping the floor in the entrance hall when he looked over at the table where the goblet sat. The fire in the goblet was out.

"Dang, more work," he grumbled. He fished around in his pockets until he found a wrench and a pair of pliers. Then he began tinkering with the goblet.

"How did it go out in the first place? That was a magic fire."

Finally he turned a knob that lit the fire again. "Aha. But wait, it's…green?"

Sure enough the goblet held merrily dancing green flames.

"It's not supposed to do that! What will the headmaster say?"

Filch kicked the table. One of the legs buckled out from under it and the table was thrown off balance. In his haste to catch the goblet before it fell, Filch dropped his pliers into it.

The flames turned blue.

"Guess that'll do," he said. "I just hope the pliers aren't chosen to compete in the tournament, or Dumbledore'll have my head."

The Goblet of Pliers was suggested by R.J.

The 3 reviews of Zyrorai: Wow, you must have been on a creative streak or something. "Chamber of Leakage" is cracking me up, and I'm not even sure what's going to be leaking yet! It just sounds so ridiculous. Glad you like the various poems/stories you mentioned.

Scarletngrayangel: Writer's block, the bane of fanfictions everywhere. I know the feeling. I'm so stuck on one of my stories that I've barely looked at it in weeks!

Letalis: BwaHaHa(etc) doesn't look like two words to me; either one eight-syllable word or eight words with no spacing. But hey, that's an awesome laugh you've got there. One question- evil potato? Why not evil cucumber or evil squash or something unusual like that? Hmm, think think think, okay, one Remus poem coming right up!

Harry came to Lupin for help writing his poem. This was the result, which Snape, luckily, never saw.

Remus Lupin's Poem:

Are potions really useful? I'd say yes

(Far more so than the potions master).

Especially if you're a werewolf; I am,

And potions can help me transform faster,

Which makes life much more worth living.

And because I'm going to burn this when I'm done,

So that no one finds out what I am,

I can insult Snape all I want. It's so much fun!

SNAPE IS A SNIVELING COWARD AND A COMPLETE IDIOT! Good, got that out of my system. I mean, everyone thinks I'm the calm one, but they don't know what I write in my diary every day about them…sorry, is this still part of the poem? It's not exactly rhyming is it. Oh well, Harry you need to do your own homework, I don't think this will help you any.