Harry Potter and the Mordor of the Phoenix (Order of the Phoenix)

Harry was dreaming again.

He walked down the mysterious hallway. This time the door in front of him opened, and he stepped through. Harry found himself standing on a plain under a black sky. He looked to his left and saw a tower, so tall that he could not have seen the top even if it hadn't blended in perfectly with the black clouds. On his right was a volcano. He could feel the heat coming from it.

Harry looked down. He was holding something heavy in his hand. He held it up to see what it was…

And he woke up.

"I had another one of those dreams," Harry told Ron and Hermione later. "Only this one was really weird. I walked through the door and suddenly I was somewhere else." He described the vision.

"I think I know where you were," Hermione said.

"Well, I don't," said Ron.

"That's because you never read anything," Hermione told him. "It was a scene from a book called 'The Lord of the Rings.' Harry was holding the One Ring that had the power to take over the world, and he was supposed to destroy it in the volcano."

"That must be Voldemort's secret weapon!" Ron said. "He's going to find the ring and use it to rule the world!"

"I'm not so sure about that," Harry said. "A Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings crossover? That's the absolute lamest way that this book could end."

"Well," said Hermione, "how about a weapon that gets destroyed during the obligatory battle between good and evil before anyone has the chance to use it, and that really had no offensive value whatsoever to begin with?"

Harry thought about this. "You're right," he said, "That's even lamer."

Mordor of the Phoenix was suggested by UnDeadGoat. Thank you everyone for being patient while I had no electricity after the hurricane! As you can see, I just got power back today. Anyway:

Window Girl: Wow, so many reviews, where should I start? Maybe by asking why you skipped chapter 4? But thanks for all the comments. I'm glad you like them so much.

x0firefly0x: Funny. That's cool.

Olean-Radcliffe: Hey, raw curly fries even sounds random! Thanks for the offer, I don't know if I'd post it but I would love to see what you could make of Hermione's poem. If you like I could post my email address for you?

sunkyssed: Here's the next chapter, so you better have some ideas soon!

greasy socks: Funny stories! And sugar highs are funny! Funny!

Aratfeniel: Let's count… three people's reviews this time say it's funny! I must be doing something right! And as to making sense, please see the note in the first chapter. It's not supposed to!

Zyrorai: Yeah, I actually think this story is one of my better ones. I liked Ron being hungry too. And reading until you get carsick is something both Hermione and I would do.

UndeadGoat: Whoa, too many comments! Glad you like it, sorry about the rabies, you'll have to talk to buttered-onions if you want a weasel because they're not mine to loan out, yes Fred wrote a poem and here's the chapter you requested. Did that cover enough?

Taskemus: Yeah, that's not exactly a practical solution, is it? Glad you like!