Guess what this is – a disclaimer! James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily were created by Joanne Rowling. My imagination is the one to be blamed for a few of my own characters Plot is nobody else's than mine. Thank you, come again.

Author's Notes: Wow. Thanks for your reviews, guys! Thank you so much! I'm grinning like a dork now. Just keep them coming. They are the ones that keep me wanting to update. You guys are the ones that raise my moral. Onto the individual responses:

1. Tanya: Glad you think it's original! L/J rocks indeed, doesn't it?
2. WickedWitchSistersMioneGin: I'm updating, hehe. Or as you said – muahaha. BTW, love your nickname.
3. SARAH: Thanks! The update's, obviously, here.
4. Devilsmiles: Cliffies make the world go round. Don't throw popcorn, please, I'll do whatever you wanna! In this case, I updated. Hope you like.
5. check6: Muchas gracias – glad you like.
6. Shelbykins: MY DEAR. So happy you loved it! I really do must continue, don't I? Well I did. Hehe. Thanks so much! Love.
7. Ashley Pups: I've just finished writing the second part! Hope you like it as much you liked the first one. I'll notify you of updates in my LJ, fo sho. Thanks a bunch, girl!
8. xRazberryGurlx: Glad you like it! Here's more!
9. Jeran: Yay for finding it interesting! Thanx.
10. Operate: OMFG, Carina. Thanks for reading.
11. the-power-of-love: Thankses! Glad you liked!
12. Nick: You bet there's more. Thanks for reading and liking!
13. MaraudahLily: Hehehe, I don't know why nobody told you about this fic, but I'm glad you found it. Here's more, just like you wanted.

Okay... Now that I've done this, I can continue with the story. The rules are the same – you read and review, I write some more. Can it be any more simple? Thought so. Let's go then, shall we?

Not So Holy Matrimony

written by Milka-Weasley


Chapter 2 - The Truth Is Out There

-James Potter Learns the Truth-

James Potter was the first one to enter the boys dormitory of Gryffindor 7th years after the dinner. Sirius Black got held by the professor of Care of Magical Creatures "Mr Black, I hope I don't bother you, but I hear you're quite the connoisseur of Muggle dogs, so I was wondering if I could have a few words with you?"; Remus suddenly remembered he needed to search for some books in the Library "It's not like the name will disappear from my pillow, and besides, I really want to find out more about... er... um... impact of crescent moon on teenage werewolves..." and Peter... Peter had to pee.

James promised them he wouldn't touch their parchments, but even if he didn't do it, he wouldn't be able to read them even if he wanted to.

Apparently, Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the professors thought of everything: the names were visible only to those who were supposed to read it. Everybody else would just see words like "La cucaracha" or "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", which were carefully chosen by the Headmaster himself.

As James moved through the bedroom, he thought how relieved he felt that he would be alone when looking at his destined wife-to-be for the first time, even though Sirius, Remus and Peter were his best friends.

"You never know who she might be, after all!" he panicked. "What if I'm destined with that Slytherin troll Rebecca Parkinson!"

Oh, no, he wouldn't survive it! But, she did look at him during the last Quidditch match. That could be a problem.

"When I think about it for a sec though, she probably looked at me only because I was covered in mud from chin to toes... That would also explain why she started laughing maniacally when I passed by..."

James resolutely decided to push Rebecca away from his thoughts and let somebody else take over his mind.

Yes, he definitely knew whose name he would like to see on his pillow... but reality wasn't always as kind as the dreams were...

James finally approached his four poster bed and breathed deeply.

"Okay, hotshot," he muttered to himself, "the moment of truth is here... You'll face it, no matter what it is, and move the curtains in three... two... one..."

He pulled the curtains aside and saw the respective piece of parchment lying on his pillow. James blinked a few times as he stared at the name written on it. There was no mistake. He read it correctly. James closed his eyes and opened them again, just in case. The name didn't seem to change.

"Well, I'll be damned..." he whispered, as he felt heat streaming through his body and his voice trembling. "Looks like I'll have to take care of those seven kids much earlier than I thought!"


-Sirius Black Learns the Truth-

"Hey, Prongsie, you awake?" mumbled Black approaching James's bed more than two hours later.

He could hear his friend breathing evenly as his stomach lifted up and down, following the rhythm of his respiration.

"Guess that's a no, then. And I really wanted you to be there when I'd read who my destined slave was. Wife. Wife's the word. If only professor Nottingham haven't bored me with those dog fleas and waving tails for this long, you'd still be up. It's good to see you're having that goofy grin on your face, mate, though. Means you're having some wet... did I say wet? I meant sweet dreams. Well, I s'pose I'd better go and check that name on my pillow then. Hopefully my destiny is as good as yours, judging by the size of that grin... Oh, bugger. I'm talking to a sleeping log."

Sirius moved away from James's bed and continued walking to his own, which was at the end of the room. He glanced towards the other three four poster beds, seeing a barefoot leg sticking out of Pettigrew's bed, as well as Clark Bradley's arm peeking out of his part of room. Sirius's experienced smell senses told him Remus was already in his bed too. Don't get it wrongly - it had nothing to do with Remus's hygiene; it was more of a dog – werewolf matter.

"Oh, there you are," he whispered as he reached his bed. The lights were out, so he couldn't see the name written on his piece of parchment right away.

Sirius seized it and came closer to the window. Silver moonlight set across the parchment, showing him six glittering words and made it impossible to be any mistake who his Hogwarts spouse was. Sirius stared at the parchment, his lips inaudibly forming every word, as though he had the hardest time believing what it actually said.

Remus John Lupin, Gryffindor, 7th year.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius struggled hard in order not to start laughing, "I've always had a feeling you were... gay."

He took off his robes, put on pyjamas and climbed to his bed, closing the curtains. As he tiredly yawned, Sirius realized he no longer felt sorry James wasn't there to attend the reading of his destined one.

Only a few beds away, a pale light brown haired boy gave his best to finally close his eyes.


-Remus Lupin Doubts the Truth-

The late autumn sun intensively shone straight at James's face. He blinked a few times before opening his eyes. Everything was blurry around him, so he put on the glasses.

James looked around, noticing the piece of parchment near his pillow and remembering the events of the previous day. He beamed triumphantly, suddenly feeling an unbearable urge to share his happiness with somebody.

James strode to Sirius's bed, but, on his great disappointment, found it empty - just like Clark's. Peter was still asleep and somehow, James didn't want to wake him up. Crossing his fingers, James tiptoed to Remus. Fortunately, he was still there.

"Wake up, Moons," said James, bending and shaking his friend's elbow.

"Mhmhmhmmm..." responded Remus unconsciously and turned on the other side.

"You'll be late for class!" lied James, knowing it would be the only way to get the always righteous Lupin out of his bed.

"Oh, no," cried Remus and immediately shot up. "It can't be!"

"You're right, my mate, it can't," laughed James. "It's Saturday."

Remus Lupin scowled. "Well, in that case, thanks for waking me up, you horned stag of evil."

"Any time. So... ready to hear the big news?" asked Potter dramatically. "The huge news? The greatest bloody brilliant news of all times?"

Remus's just awoken brain didn't work as properly as usual. "Uh?"

"I'm married, Remus" he said ecstatically. "and I'm married to Evans!"

Remus blinked and suddenly began to remember why his best friend talked about marriage.

"It's like... I mean... Isn't it simply... Lily Evans!" thrilled James, "no, no... Lily Potter. Oh, hell, it sounds so well. Lily Potter... Potter Lily..."

Remus listened to James, but only partly. Something else preoccupied his thoughts. Or should it be said - somebody else.

An enormous amount of embarrassment and fear flood him over and he felt his cheeks burning madly. Remus was accustomed to be the one who always had the answers to anything... but not this time. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, how to react, or what to say.

Remus was completely thunderstruck when he had read the name of his destined one the night before. Sure, he did notice he wasn't as attracted to girls as the other boys were, but he blamed it all on his werewolf side. Remus always thought the will for chasing the girls would come later as a natural thing... But he certainly wasn't expecting this!

And, which was even more unbelievable, was the fact his best friend was... well... you know. Remus never had any doubts Sirius was more of a ... girl person. After all, he had many girlfriends and the female part of Hogwarts was utterly crazy about his shiny black hair.

"What if the Matrimonium Alveum made a mistake?" thought Remus cowardly, "What if the destiny hasn't been calculated properly? What if..."

Deep down inside, Remus knew Matrimonium Alveum wasn't wrong. But where did that lead him? He didn't know. He was lost, confused and awkward... and without anyone to turn to.

"Hello, Earth calling Remmy! Aren't you gonna congratulate me?" James's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Remus stared blankly and then it finally hit him: James's destined wife was nobody else than the girl he had unsuccessfully been after for years! That was definitely a reason for celebrating, so he decided to stop thinking about himself and simply be happy for his mate.

"Of course I am! It's really great news, as you said." Remus smiled honestly, "How did the bride react?"

"I'll found out today," shrugged James and then chuckled mischievously, nudging his friend. "And how about you? Who's your lucky one?"

"Ahh... Y-you don't..." stuttered Remus, "you don't know hi... her."

"You kidding me? You say James, the Quidditch captain and the Head Boy doesn't know her? I know at least half of the school!"

"Not this half."

"Oh," James said, sounding a bit dissatisfied, "if you're so sure. Then I bet she's some nerdy, but pretty book worm, eh? Just like the ones you like!"

"Book-worm? No, not really. More of a ... rebel person, I'd say."

"Wow, Moony, you really know how to surprise!"

"I do, don't I?" agreed Remus quietly. "I must say I've surprised myself very much as well..."

"All this marriage excitement got me hungry... Let's wake Pete and go to breakfast!"


Author's Notes: Good/not good? Gimme your thoughts in reviews. Au revoir!