D-i-s-c-l-a-i-m-e-r: Joanne, you rock. That is all. P.S. Can't wait for 16th of July, omg!

Author's Notes: -phew- Finally an update, yay! It contains the awakenings of Lily and James and Sirius and Remus. Guys who don't like R/S – don't worry, still nothing extremely slashy, so you can freely read it. Guys who love R/S – sorry no real action yet, but James and Lily don't really have it either. Love comes slowly, so be patient. –wink- The important thing is they're married, hehe. Everything else will fit in its place eventually.

♥ ♥ ♥ Mucho muchu muuuuucho thanks to the following people who read and reviewed the last chappie: The all mighty and powerfulM, Tanya, Snuffles is Loony for Moony, Phaerie, Carina, Bhekie, Dortha, Demonsblade, xRazberryGurlx, rebellious socks, jellyjulie, blacksmoon, Cindy, Ashley Pups, Nick, GBBY, jedily, xXxShellyxXx, Noodan, PrincessSkywalkerOrgana, beyonce-85, uh..i'm me, siriusella, bigsmileygirl-3, Lissa. ♥ ♥ ♥

Got any questions? Shoot 'em right away. I take comments, thoughts, EVERYTHING – just write a review, please. I love you all, folks! –mwah- Now... the continuation!

Not So Holy Matrimony

written by Milka-Weasley


Chapter 6 - The Awakenings

"MERLIN, GANDALF AND BLOODY AGRIPPA! This is not happening!"

Those exact loud shrieks were more than enough to instantly wake up the snoring figure of James Potter.

He was in the state of mild shock for a few seconds while trying to remember why he wasn't in his regular boys dormitory; why his back hurt like the devil itself; why he had been lying on the cold floor all night and who on Earth was the neurotic that had mercilessly waken him up.

"Lily?" he blinked, recognizing the voice of his Hogwarts wife.

"Oh bugger," James heard her nervous mutter somewhere above his improvised bed, "crap, bugger, bugger, crap..."

It was rather obvious she had been annoyed by something.

He sat up and placed the glasses on his nose.

"What is going on? Have I just heard you cursing? More than once? Or did I maybe dream that? And why, in Quidditch's name, are you... eh... jumping around the room in your... pyjamas?"

Lily looked at him as though he said the most unreasonable thing ever, her green eyes going wide and flamed.

"Don't ask, just look at the bleeding weather!" she bellowed, "Look at your watch! Blend the bits of puzzle together. Doesn't it tell you anything? And besides, for your information James, these are not pyjamas, this is a nightgown."

He simply shrugged, yawning widely.

"I don't see any difference. Pyjamas and sleeping gowns are all the same to me... Except the gowns probably make you feel more tremulous and stream, I think..." he responded and lazily glanced towards the window of the dormitory.

The sight wasn't exactly pretty. The glum sky was coloured in all shades of gray, from the lightest grizzle colour to the darkest iron tone. It was raining as though it hadn't rained for century or two. "No, no," thought James, "It was pouring rain."

The muddy Hogwarts grounds were soaked wet and he suddenly understood perfectly well why Lily had been so upset.

"Right... it's Tuesday... the Herbology class..." he mumbled wrinkling his wide forehead, "hmmm... fifteen minutes... under these weather circumstances... toughie..."

"Absolutely impossible, yes, I know," grumbled Lily morosely, obviously in one of her worse moods. James couldn't blame her. The weather was truly horrible and enough to make anyone feel dark and miserable. "Unless we can somehow swim to the greenhouses, I don't see the way out..."

"Hmmmmm..." muttered James, thinking fast, not really paying attention to Lily's whining.

"I mean... Now you definitely know why I am freaking out here," continued Lily with complaining, "instead of singing and hula dancing. We haven't even had a breakfast yet... Oh, darn it all! As for you, my husband, you could at least turn around so I can change myself, if anything..."

James immediately jumped off the floor and energetically opened the wings of the closet, placing his entire head inside.

"Er..." Lily said slowly, raising her light eyebrows, "I thought you could turn your head away, not hide your entire self in the cupboard..."

James didn't respond. He only peered inside of the closet, examining its interior. He sighed in relief as he realized that all of their clothes, school supplies and trunks were already there.

That meant his precious objects were in there, too.

James grinned to himself, while opening his trunk and getting a few things out of it which Lily couldn't see.

"What are you doi...?"

"Come on," James cut her off, smiling widely and squeezing something in his hands, "quickly now. Get your 'bology stuff, the class starts in twelve minutes. Professor Sprout is teaching the NEWT level lessons and I have a prediction you don't wanna miss them."

Lily watched him closely.

"Sure I don't wanna... That's what this has been all about in the first place!" responded Lily impatiently, "But you seem to be forgetting one little detail - the weather. Even you said it would be impossible to get to the greenhouses under these weather circumstances, so I can't see what you have in mind..."

"That's what you said, remember?" James reminded her, "I never proclaimed it for impossible, only tough. But now that I've got a few handy things, it's more than doable. Let's go then!"

Lily sighed, on the edge of giving in. "Why do I have this strong feeling you aren't going to tell me what your plan is until we actually do it?"

James snickered.

"Four days of marriage and you already know me as well as Sirius, Remus and Peter do. To think the four of us have been friends since the first year! Impressive, Lily, very impressive. Five points to Gryffindor."

"Oh, shut up, Noel," responded Lily, giving her best to suppress the smile dancing in the corners of her lips, "And, please, turn around now. I'm still not dressed."

James would probably say something witty regarding the changing clothes subject, but seeing as they had only ten minutes left till the beginning of the lessons, he decided to do as told.

"By the way, who's the Gidnalf bloke you mentioned in your early morning shrieking? I at least have the rights to know who woke me up. Agrippa and Merlin will definitely pay me for that one, once they get in my hands. I don't think I've ever got a card of that Gidnalf chap from Chocolate Frogs and I've been convinced I've had 'em all..."

"It's Gandalf, not Gidnalf," said Lily, as she was putting on her skirt and robes, "No wonder you never got his card. He's not real."

"Huh?"

"Gandalf is a very powerful and good wizard from one of my most favourite Muggle books. Kinda like Dumbledore, if you ask me. He even has that long white beard and all."

"Ew," exclaimed James frowning, "Evans's got a crush on Dumbledore!"

"I'm offended," said Lily, pouting, "You've got it all wrong."

"I think I know perfectly well when my wife is cheating on me, thank you. That bloke with half moon glasses will have to deal with me, I swear."

"You're right, I do tend to fall for way older guys..." joked Lily, "Heck, I even fancy ancient and completely wrinkled men. There's something incredibly irresistible about them. The more furrows they have, the more I get turned on... But you've got that other thing wrong."

"What other thing?"

"Do I have to draw everything to you? The way you called me, James..." Lily responded playfully, "I'm not really... Evans... any more, am I?"

James's heart stopped for a second and he, as it rarely happened, stood speechless, gaping with his mouth open.

"Have... have... you... just suggested what I think you have? That you should be... called... instead of Evans... I mean... Lily Pott-?"

"Hurry up, James," chuckled Lily, not letting him finish what he was going to, quite amused by the flabbergasted look on James' face, "let's get that plan of yours going. I only hope it doesn't involve too much rule-breaking. But, as long as we get to the class on time, I'm willing to victimize..."

"Uh... right..." James said, feeling his heart beating normally again, but still feeling pleasant heat streaming through his body, "any possibility you know what this is?" he asked, holding out a silvery grey cloak.

Lily gaped in amazement. "It looks like... but it can't be... I mean, I have never seen one... can it be?"

"Seems to me you know what it is. Okay, then, hold this Map for me, we're going to a part of Hogwarts I bet you didn't even know it existed."


-I do-

"Ahhhh," yawned Sirius widely, stretching his arms as he woke up, "'mornin' Moony! Did ya have a good rest? I certainly did. Love them cozy beds more than anything."

"Good morning, Padfoot," Remus responded automatically and then loudly shrieked as he realized something was incredibly odd. "Oh Lord!"

"Why are you lording?"

"SIRIUS?", Remus yelled, quickly springing out of the four-poster, wonderstruck,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

"Your bed?" winced Sirius. "Since when is this your bed? I don't see your name on it anywhere, Moony... Or am I starting to be short-sighted like Prongs?"

"It's been my bed since forever and you know it – oh. This doesn't really look like our old dormitory, does it?"

"Nah."

"This is our new one, right?"

"Bingo."

"And we have only one bed," remembered Remus, "Which is not only mine. So we now have to share it because of that marriage game."

"Uh-huh."

"Bummer."

"Well..." drawled Sirius, "you didn't seem to be complaining last night when you snuggled up against me, though."

Remus nearly fainted. "WHAT!"

"Here's that worrying side of yours again."

"What can I do when I never know for sure if you're joking or not?" said Remus honestly, "No matter if you are earnest or not, you always appear to be so serious... Those black eyes and black eyebrows and black hair... you never know what to think!"

"Duh," responded Sirius, laughing "that's in my name, isn't it? Anyways, looks can be deceiving. You, of all people, should know it best. D'ya really think it's written on your forehead that once a month you're becoming a big mad hairy beast that runs around wanting to bite everything and everyone, including his best friends and self?"

"Good point, but still... you keep freaking me out, Sirius. Stop freaking me out!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Remus's conscience wasn't quite clear yet.

"So..." he said trying to sound casual and unworried, "did I really snuggle up against you? I mean, sure I didn't, why would I do that, I mean, but no, really – did I?"

Sirius yawned again, slowly getting out of the bed, "What difference does it make?"

"I'd like to know."

"Okay, then, you tried to, because you were cold I think, but I pushed you away and gave you bigger part of the blanket. Satisfied now?"

Remus stared, perplexed by the care Sirius had showed. It didn't happen that often, that's for sure. "Yeah, I guess..."

"Good enough. Say Moony, I've been thinking something..."

"You've been thinking?" joked Remus, "Why do I have a hard time believing in that statement?"

"You better do, 'cause I have," Sirius said pompously, "Well, more like dreaming, to be honest. It's about James. And, you know, the confession we owe him. He's got the right to know about this..."

"And he isn't going to be very thrilled..." responded Remus pessimistically.

"We can always perform a Laughing Spell on Prongs... and, then, while he's rolling on the floor hee-hawing, shoot the truth at him!"

"I wish somebody did that to me, too."

"It's never late for that, mate," snickered Sirius, "a laughing Remus Lupin would be a very interesting show, without a doubt."

Remus frowned. "Padfoot, you trying to say I never laugh?"

"Face it, Moony, it's not like you can be seen cackling all the time."

"I cackle when I have a reason to!" objected Remus.

"No, you don't." Sirius shook his head.

"Yes, I do," nodded Remus energetically.

"You don't."

"I do!"

"I do, too," responded Sirius mischievously, "therefore I pronounce us a husband and wife. I may kiss the bride, but I won't, because my stomach's sending me messages I cannot ignore. Race ya to the Great Hall, Moony!"


Author's Notes: Liked it / not? SUGGESTIONS? I promise a very crazy and interesting chappie coming up next... ehehehe, till then! -waves-