Disclaimerus: Characters invented by Almighty Rowling. Plot mine. Now shoo!
Author's
Notes: Oh, dear. I've just finished writing this chapter. Longer chapter, if I may add. Yay.
Those of you who were shocked by James's reaction in previous part, here's an explanation – the way he reacted is how I see he would react to Remus's and Sirius's little secret in the first place. He is not built of only two or three habits and characteristics – he is a full, complete person with many faces and a complex nature. Characters involve, and that is what is happening to James in my story too. Hope this chappie will explain more about him and I really hope you'll like it. Another note – Lily/James shippers should love this.
Now, start reading and pleeease write a review with your thoughts. I'll be happy very much indeed if you do so. Woohoo.
Also... Huge cheers to my faithful readers & reviewers of the previous chappie --
Jellyjulie, ASH, Lady-Elizabeth4242, tigrelily86, Ihateharryandhermioneshippers, quickwolf, misakichi1, Nick, blacksmoon, Dortha, starburstsweetie (see, I've updated so quickly this time, haven't I? That just shows how productive I can be when I have time to write), Snuffy, Snuffles is Loony for Moony, sarah, starryfaerie, Shuffle Queen, hermioneLuna, jedily and marija...
I'm
leaving you with the story now
Not So Holy Matrimony
written by Milka-Weasley
Chapter 8 – James's Savior
Lily Evans climbed one of the seats on the Quidditch Pitch, her green observant eyes intent to the sky.
She was convinced she would spot somebody flying above her, yet, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't see anyone. The sky was still glum and lifeless, making it rather uneasy to discern any sorts of objects. Despite of it all, Lily stubbornly continued her search.
Finally - she saw a blurry dot above her, energetically flying left, right, up and down, cutting the air faster, faster and faster as it formed circles and swirls in the autumn welkin... Lily could barely keep track on it, but she didn't want to give up.
She could feel something was wrong. Terribly wrong. James didn't attend any of the afternoon classes; he wasn't in the Great Hall for lunch; his friends Remus Lupin and Sirius Black looked tremendously distracted all day long and when she saw a glimpse of James near the Groundkeeper's house, he fastened his move and nearly ran away from her.
"James doesn't run away from me," she thought worriedly, "He never has and I don't see why he would do it now either. Something's definitely out of place."
Lily sat alone on the Quidditch Pitch till a dark ink shade replaced the grayness of the sky. The wind increased and she started to feel unpleasantly chilly.
She looked up again, only to realize it became impossible to see anything at all.
Lily sighed to herself. "Guess my mission's failed miserably." she muttered hopelessly, unwillingly getting ready to go back to Hogwarts.
"If your mission was to track me down", said a hoarse voice behind her. "then you certainly didn't fail."
Lily was caught off guard. "James!" she said, turning around, surprised and relieved at the same time. "When did you..."
"A minute ago," he responded shortly, as though he wanted all conversation to end right there.
Lily noticed he didn't look her straight in the eyes. It appeared as though his mind was somewhere else even at that moment. Lily's curious nature needed an explanation. She had to know what was going on and check if she had done something to make him act the way he did.
"Wore your invisibility cloak all day long, didn't you?" she decided to try to start a simple dialogue. "You seemed to vanish today. More than once."
"Wish I did for real," he said darkly. "That way I would positively be alone. You going back to the school now? It's gotten kind of breezy..."
"Not yet, I'm not..." Lily closely watched James who was still avoiding her look. "I think you need somebody to talk about it."
"Talk about what?" he asked, nearly snapping.
"The thing that's troubling you. Whatever it might be."
James raised an eyebrow as though he wanted to ask how she could know something had been wrong.
"If it's something I did today... If it's the fact I asked too much about your magical artifacts, I mean, I know I can be a pain when it comes to stuff like that and that I cannot control myself, and..." she started to explain, but James cut her off again.
"It's not you."
Lily immediately felt a heavy stone falling off her heart when she heard she wasn't the reason of his isolation, but even so, it wasn't enough for her. "Then, will you tell me what is?"
James didn't respond. Lily saw him trembling slightly as he wrinkled his forehead and clenched his fists. He even started biting his lip before speaking again. Lily could hear he sounded rather shaken.
"I... You wouldn't understand."
"Why not try me?"
"I'd rather not," he responded, lowering his eyes, "Seriously, Lily, you better leave before I start acting like a bloody maniac. Trust me, it's better not to talk about it... I can't talk about it with you... I can't talk about it with anyone... Damn it, it's harder than I thought!"
"Don't tell me that..." a disastrous thought suddenly flooded Lily's mind and she nearly stopped breathing. "You can't have...an... incurable disease or something? Tell me I'm raving. I'm raving, aren't I?"
"Good Lord, no, I'm not sick or anything like that!" he responded, scandalized. "It's... not about me... It is... Well... Bloody hell, I promised to myself I wouldn't speak about it with anyone. Why for Agrippa's sake am I feeling such a strong will to open myself up to you then?"
"Because you need to share that burden with somebody, James." Lily compassionately replied, slowly moving closer to him. She tenderly brushed her hand on his palm, making James waver with emotion. "Whatever it is, I promise to be of some help to my husband."
James remained quiet for some time, fighting a battle with his inner self.
"What would you say..." he began at last, still having the hardest time speaking his thoughts out loud, but feeling grateful for Lily's honesty and care at the same time. "if... What would you say if two of your best friends... started... dating... suddenly?"
"I'd wish them all best." she responded earnestly.
"Even – even if they were the same... gender?" he asked feeling distressed.
Lily looked him straight in the eyes. "Absolutely."
"But, it's wrong, Lily. They're... they're my best mates."
"Lupin... and... Black, I presume?" asked Lily, intrigued. "Are they a Matrimonium Alveum couple?"
James nodded shortly.
"Wow. Interesting."
"But can't you see? They're my friends! Best friends ever since I've started going to Hogwarts. We're guys, mischievous rogues, charming pranksters. That's how it's always been. We aren't supposed to be dating each other all of the sudden! Oh, what would you know, anyway? It's not like Flora and Clementine are a happily married couple out of the blue, is it?"
"True, they aren't. But I know about it more than you can obviously imagine, James. And it seems to me you've never been in touch with homosexuality before, am I right? Especially not with somebody so close to you..."
"I didn't think I ever would have to get in touch with it either... And what are you trying to say? That you have?"
"Let's just say I was barely 11 when I ran into my cousin Tulip doing something... er... if only I could remember his exact quote... I think he said he was only 'taking a piece of lettuce off our neighbour John's shiny teeth'. He didn't know I was way smarter than that even then. Anyhow," grinned Lily playfully, "I can assure you it was not something you could call an easily forgettable sight for a curious and innocent young girl."
James couldn't help but smile at this, before going all morose again.
"Still, this is way different..."
"How is it different? I didn't expect my cousin to be men-oriented, just like you didn't for your friends."
"But Sirius even had girlfriends before! Loads of them! There are probably five girls altogether at Hogwarts who wouldn't put him on the top of the 'most wanted list'! I wouldn't normally admit it, but he'd definitely beat me in that race. And Remus... well, I just thought he was shy and slightly clumsy, that's all... but this! Since when? And... in love with each other? I mean – come on... Why? Why them?"
"James..." Lily said softly, feeling a strange will to be completely honest with him, now more than ever before. As her voice slightly vibrated, she decided to openly tell him everything she thought about it. "I don't want to lecture you... That's the last thing I want to do, because I can grasp what you are saying. But, before it is too late, all I ask is... search your feelings."
"What do you mean, Lily?"
"You know Remus and Sirius didn't exactly choose to be what they are. They didn't choose to fall for each other, did they?"
"I..."
"Please, let me finish. I'm sure both of them were quite unprepared for what had happened as well as you were... Am I not right? But love comes uninvited. You can't stop it, you can't fight it. They are not to be blamed. If they are alright with it, you should be too. You yourself said they're your bestest friends in the world. Friends make sacrifices for each other, isn't that correct? I understand you can't accept right away, but don't reject your beautiful friendship just because of some unfair stereotypes and prejudice. Sometimes the most unexpected souls are destined to be together. You know it is like that. You do understand what I'm saying, I can feel it. Let them be, James. Try not to judge them and embrace the truth, no matter how wry it may be. I'm sure they would do the same for you."
James amazedly stared at Lily, impressed and at complete loss for words.
He couldn't believe how genuine she sounded - so heart-felt, so truthful, so pure. She managed to see right through his shield and touch his bare soul with those honest words. He knew Lily had a point - she was right about everything she had said. He couldn't believe he actually needed Lily to tell him what he had known all along.
James felt as though she was his savior and he remembered why he had been in love with that very girl all those long years...
"I'm sorry if this sounded pretentious," Lily said, feeling slightly embarrassed as she saw James literally gloating her. "it probably did, and you probably want to smack me now, but anyhow, I just needed to tell how I felt about it... My plain two cents..."
James didn't really listen to her unnecessary apologizing. Still spellbound by what Lily had said before, he desperately wanted to express the gratitude because she helped him realize the real values of life.
Instead of saying it and before even realizing what he was doing, James leaned towards Lily and wishfully pressed his lips against hers.
Lily winced, completely unprepared for this, promptly feeling tingles running through her body. She thought her lips were nearly set on fire as she reflexively accepted the kiss, closing her eyes and sharing the most perfect moment she had experienced in her entire life.
Their kiss held passion, strength and urgency Lily had never felt with her previous boyfriend, Rodolphus Lestrange. It contained trust and hunger and made her want to last forever.
James was the first one to back out.
"I..." he began, but Lily quickly interrupted.
"Just don't say you're sorry, please."
He looked confused. "Why would I say that? I was the one to kiss you, remember?"
Lily laughed in remission. "I know, but... guys always say stuff like that after the first kiss. At least in romantic Muggle movies they do..."
"In reality they don't," smiled James. "and, yes Lily, I do know what a movie is, in case you wanted to glory above my lack of Muggle knowledge once again. Peter's Mum took us to a Muggle cinema to see one film called Blood for Dracula a few years ago. That movie sucked, I must tell you. The folks who made that movie obviously don't know a thing about vampires! I was really disappointed in movies and couldn't understand what the fuss was about, but Mrs. Pettigrew assured me there were some much better ones..."
"There certainly are." said Lily, trying not to laugh at James's thoughtfulness.
"Anyway," he said, heaving a deep breath. "that's not what I wanted to tell you, Lily."
"So I've presumed." she whispered in response.
"I actually wanted to... thank you..." he said quietly. "If you didn't say all that about love and friendship - I don't think I'd ever have strength to face the truth. You made everything seem so easy, so natural, so logical... Now I can't even remember why it bothered me in the first place... I mean, I still know my previous reasons, but I don't think they matter so much any more... You... you're a real diamond, Lily. I hope you know how much you've helped tonight. You've saved a friendship. I'll never forget that."
Lily chuckled blissfully. "It's been a pleasure being your shrink, Mister Potter. Next séance will be held tomorrow at the same time at the same place. Please, don't be late. Now, go on, pay up."
"But I'm broke!" objected James.
"Didn't anyone tell you there are other ways for paying the debts?" she said cheekily.
"Why, Miss Evans," grinned James from ear to ear. "that's so naughty of you."
"Is it?" she fluttered her eyelashes innocently. "I didn't think writing my History of Magic essay would be considered naughty."
James's face flushed with disappointment. "Guess not."
"What's that face for?" she continued her little torture. "Did you think I was talking about something different?"
"Actually, yes. I had hoped it involved..." he inclined towards Lily and whispered a few words in her ears.
"LIPS!" she screamed, reputedly stunned. "Why would I share my lips with you? You've got your own, you don't need mine too!"
"Well, whatever," James grumbled, "it's not like I'm going to beg you to kiss me or anything..."
"Oh. Kiss you. Why didn't you simply say so?" laughed Lily maliciously. "Of course I wanna kiss you, aunt Noel. It's much more fun than doing History of Magic. But can I do it inside? Please? I think my poor frozen hands will fall off if we stay outside on this cold night only five minutes longer."
"You got it, doc." smiled James, hugging Lily tightly before two of them headed back for the castle.
Author's Notes: Hope y'all J/L shippers are satisfied now. Apologizing for lack of Remus and Sirius in this one, but I had a feeling this was very important for the story, so... more of them coming soon. Au revoir, mes amis!
