That thing that begins with a 'd': We heard it a thousand times, k? JKR, you own us all. Wee. Not that my ego's waaaaay under zero now...
Author's Notes: I'm s-s-s-s-s-scared, y'all. This update is LONG. I don't like to write long because it's scary, LOL. But I hope you'll enjoy it, anyhow. Prove me my effort's actually worth of something and write me a ...what?... a nice, long review. Hehe, don't need to be necessarily long, but do tell me everything that's on your mind.
Many many many many thanks to people who left reviews: jellyjulie, don'tmind me, Maykwa, Snuffles is Loony for Moony, hermioneluna, CrystalKisses, blacksmoon, irule-udrool, Mistress del Mare, gbby, MaraudahLily, Shuffle Queen (a Beat reader would be great! We can arrange something definitely... for now, can you tell me which are my biggest grammar mistakes in your review? If it's not a big trouble for you, that is...), then Snuffy, sarah, starburstsweetie, ChristinaMarie15, YamikiofAnime, Bhekie, chococholicbookworm, Troy, swoobleswirl, Nyscat, Rocks-my-socks...
Where would I be if it wasn't for you guys? –smooch, hug, smooch-
Here goes then... Our number 9! Voila.
Not So Holy Matrimony
written by Milka-Weasley
Chapter 9 – A Dynamical Night
"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, Padfoot," whispered Remus insecurely, as he and Sirius lurked in the shadows of the Entrance Hall. "What if the caretaker catches us? I feel as though I'm some kind of a psycho criminal waiting for his victim to butcher it... Listen to my common sense, Sirius. We should wait till tomorrow when we can do a similar thing, only in less... weird way. This seems so aggressive. I know you agree with me. Okay, then, let's go."
"Moony," responded Sirius quietly, yet resolutely, "this is an absolutely splendiferous, dynamical and unique idea and you know it. Otherwise, you'd have objected before we came 'ere."
"Right," sighed Remus, "when I hear you using the big words like 'splendiferous' I momentarily know you won't give up on the idea no matter what. So I should better stop trying."
"The sooner the better," snickered Sirius, "besides, it's not like we're doing anything illegal. We're just doing what we must do. Can't let that twat ruin our shrine of Marauders, can we?"
"Certainly not, c'ptain Black," saluted Remus mockingly.
Sirius's ears suddenly stiffened. He raised his head and listened intently for a few seconds. "Hear that?"
"I hear loads of things," said Remus and did the same thing Sirius had done. He then carefully sniffed the air and nodded back.
"Somebody's coming. Think it might be our target, sergeant. You want me to whack him or just stun him? I can do the jiu-jitsu move too, if you prefer the traditional Asian methods."
"Don't you yank my crank, Remus," snarled Sirius almost inaudibly. "Just tell me. D'you have it with you?"
"Sir, yes, sir." he said, still bemocking.
Sirius smirked.
"I think I'm having bad influence on you, mister Moony. Where did that quiet, obedient, book-loving, unsarcastic and above all tamed werewolf disappear? Sure you didn't eat him for dinner?"
"It's right here, sir, don't you recognize me?" Remus entered the character perfectly, "Seems to me I'm more obedient now than I've ever been. I don't recall myself saluting you all the time, so this must be a progress, not a regress. Also," he couldn't sustain not to add, "unsarcastic is not yet a word, with all due respect. Sir."
"That's the Moony I know. Phew, much relieved now that I know he wasn't kidnapped by aliens," grinned Sirius, but terribly frowned almost at the same time, apparently distracted by something. Placing a finger on his lips, he showed Remus not to speak. "It's him alright, I can sense that... git is nearing. Sometimes, to tell ya the truth, I'm so proud to have these dog-senses leftover thingies..."
"I'm not really proud of my wolf ones... They make me feel like an animal..."
"Woohoo," cackled Sirius mischievously, "kinky."
"Shut up, Sirius. I do, however, have to admit they can be helpful from time to time. Like now, for example. I don't think he's alone, I reckon I'm hearing two voices."
"Sure those are not just voices in your head?"
Remus ignored Sirius's teasing with dignity.
"Just kidding. I too hear 'em. Ready?"
"Say when."
Sirius and Remus watched two figures stepping into the hallway after cautiously pushing the entrance door of the castle. One of them looked left and right and then whispered something in the ear of the other. Remus and Sirius could only see their backs, but not one of them missed to notice they had been holding hands.
"How cute," commented Black dryly. "Do it, Remus."
Lupin only stared at the couple in front of him.
"Now?"
"No, yesterday. 'Course now. It'll be alright, don't worry. We're doing justice."
Sighing, Lupin took out of his ragged pocket a small wooden box with gilding marks all over it. He opened it and something tiny, bright gold, impatient and fluttery immediately flew out of the box and started zooming around incredibly fast. Before you could say 'Golden Snitch', it was already on its way through the hall.
Sirius and Remus watched it fly right above the pair's heads.
"Holy Quidditch!" they could hear James exclaiming as he noticed the snitch maddening about his head. "What are you doing here!"
"Isn't that...?" said Lily flabbergasted.
"How did she get out, I don't understand..." fumbled James, following the snitch with his sophisticated eyes.
"You need to catch it now, or we'll be in serious trouble, James!" said Lily, "It's enough that we're out of our beds at this time."
"I'm aware of that! You go, Lily, I'll need a few minutes to take care of this. I can't exactly sit on my broom and fly through the castle, so it ain't that easy."
"Surely not, mate," whispered Sirius amusedly as he watched the scene from the shadows. "and something tells me it's gonna get even more difficult..."
"You really are enjoying this, aren't you?" muttered Remus accusingly.
"More than you can possibly imagine."
"But he's your best friend!" hissed Remus, "Our Prongs. Prongsie."
"Exactly my point. Our Prongs who coldly told us to go you-know-where today as though we were something icky 'n' sticky on the back of his shoe. I wouldn't be enjoying this if it was somebody I didn't care about. He didn't want to accept the truth the nice and rational way? Fine, there are other methods too. Like this one."
"Sadist."
"Saint."
"You sure, James?" asked Lily quietly, so Sirius and Remus were forced to focus on the boy and girl again.
"Positive." James said reassuringly and gave Lily a quick peck on the cheek, before she climbed up the stairs and disappeared from his eyesight. "Now," he concentrated on the whizzing ball, "come to papa, you little mischief!"
"No can do, chéri," said Sirius as him and Remus left the shadowy spot near the entrance door, their magic wands pointed out. "On three, Moony. One... two..."
James widened his eyes, completely taken aback by seeing the two of them gliding from the dark.
"What – where – you two – what is going on ..."
"...three. Fire!"
"Silentius Perfectus!" said Remus.
A flash of sparkles flew out of his wand, striking James straight in the head. His mouth continued to open frantically, but no words were coming out any more. A few seconds later, his mouth vigorously closed and James couldn't open it any longer. He was shot by a Muting Charm, a spell that would instantly lock the stricken's lips.
"Sorry, old chap."
"Immobilus!" added Sirius and the insane flying snitch started to lag as though it was in slow-motion.
Remus aimed the snitch and nanoseconds later, with a little help of the summoning charm, he was holding it tightly in his hands.
"Now, oh accused one," said Sirius solemnly, fixing James with his eyes, "you can either be a good Bambi and come with us or... act like a bad fawn and therefore be magically swept off to our dorm where you'll be forced to listen to me and Moony, your dear... oops, did I say dear? Sorry. I meant - your queer friends..."
James widened his eyes, desperately trying to say something in his defence. In vain.
"Not me and Moony," Remus automatically corrected, without thinking, "it's Moony and I..."
"Ohbuggercrapwhatever. I hate grammar."
"She's not very fond of you either."
"Bottom line," continued Sirius as though Remus didn't try to sabotage him, "I'd warmly suggest cooperating, Prongs, and don't think we're doing this because of a revenge, even though we would have reasons to do it... We're just saving our friendship which you, obviously, are pretty willing to reject..."
James started to gesticulate wildly... but, as he had still been completely mute, it didn't really help him at all.
"No use, mate," added Remus, "the spell's very powerful. It's preventing you from – judging by the expression on your face- from cursing us at this very moment."
James tried to show him something with his hands, but it was hardly understandable.
"All we ask is to listen to us and... if you deny to accept the truth we're offering even after that, then, then... well, then..."
A terrible silence fell between the boys in which James got a sudden will to peep into the tips of his shoes.
"Then we'll cook you, bake you and invite Giant Squid to dinner." Sirius finished Remus's troubling sentence in his recognizable style.
"Oh, and one more thing, James," announced Sirius, turning the merciless black eyes to his silenced friend, "Remus and I swore to each other we would try our best to survive at least half an hour without passionate smooching. Tough call, but I think I'll somehow manage. Unlike some people, we're willing to make compromises, isn't that correct Moony?"
Remus had no idea what to answer. He knew Sirius was only punishing James because he acted like a selfish retard that morning, but what he didn't know was if he wanted to go against it... or if he actually felt the very same...
"R, J, I'd say our business here's done. Off we..."
"Well, well, well, " said a cold voice behind their backs. "Going somewhere?"
"Snivellus..." said Sirius softly, as he turned his head to face the oily haired boy, "what a repulsive surprise. 'd love to stay and make fun of you, but, you see, we've got urgent business tonight. Perhaps another time? Say, tomorrow, two thirty, beech tree near the lake?"
Severus Snape's mouth formed a terrible self-satisfied smile.
"This is certainly an unusual place for your little gatherings," he noted, "and it's not even full moon." He looked at Remus, trying to provoke him. "Seems to me, Black, you'll have to answer some questions. Same goes for you Potter, Lupin. I'm sure there are people in here who will be more than glad to hear why you were out of your beds at this time of night... using magic..."
"Snape," said Remus calmly, "do mind your own business and leave us alone."
"But I am doing my business," Snape was still smiling dangerously, "that is why you three will follow me to caretaker Argus Filch's office. Immediately."
Sirius laughed in disbelief.
"D'you hear him, Moony? Seriously now Snivellus, beat it before I get really pissed off. This hasn't been the best of my days and I'm on the edge of doing something really nasty to you. Here's a chance for you to escape. Seize the moment and drag your slimy ass outta here."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Snape shook his head, "that's no way of talking to the Caretaker's Supreme Assistant. Could only get you into more trouble, if it's possible."
Sirius's laugh turned into a mad barking.
"Why Snivelly, your sorry life finally has a meaning. Congratulations!"
Snape's smile softly faded.
"Enough with the small talk. I don't have all night. Now, follow m-"
"Oh, to hell with it," thought Remus quickly, "I've already broken about a million rules tonight, one more won't make a big difference."
"Petrificus Totalus!"
Snape keeled over, as rigid as a blackboard.
"Dear Lord, what am I turning into?" wondered poor Lupin anxiously out loud.
"Thanks for hushing that annoying grease ball for me, Moons. Knew you had it in you. Sorry James, it'll be your turn soon. Technical difficulties, as you might've seen. Now... straight to Black-Lupin pension, if you please."
"...and, when I first saw his name on my piece of parchment, I thought I needed glasses... very thick ones..."
"...felt like I was totally going to flip out..."
"...to make him accept the inevitable truth, I had to make jokes about our new discovery..."
"...I couldn't even look at his eyes in the beginning, trust me, I felt so unnatural, I felt as though I was ill... you'd never wish to feel that way..."
"...but then we began to realize stuff like that happened all the time..."
"...and that fighting wouldn't help... we are what we are, after all..."
"...and, honestly Prongs, hearing all that coming from your mouth today... I don't wanna sound like a whiney, but it did hurt... suddenly I was a refused backslider again... just like I felt when I was a lonely werewolf kid with no real friends..."
"...aside all the vicious comments I made this evening - we really... well... oh, screw it, what's the point being a macho pureblood untouchable Black all the time? After all, I'm pronounced gay now, so I have the benefit of showing my emotions, don't I... so, to cut the drabble and get straight to the point - we need you, James... we need our mate back... if you don't support us, who will..."
"...sure, we still have Wormtail... or do we? He doesn't seem to be around as much lately..."
"...well, doesn't that just rip my heart..."
"...anyhow... we haven't been talking to you for barely 15 hours and we already felt empty..."
"...suicidal... okay, now I'm exaggerating... more like, homicidal... I couldn't decide what I wanted to do more: punch you, hex you..."
"...or just force you to listen..."
"...everything seemed so attractive..."
"...but we obviously chose the last one...even though Sirius thought we should stick to the slightly more invasive way, as you probably noticed... and finally to conclude this - here you are, unable to say anything until we finish our story..."
"...so after you get your speaking abilities back, you can either scream 'Freaks, homos, burn them on a bonfire!', run and never be seen again..."
"...or you can swallow your prejudgments and accept the fact that we are humans, with our own faults and weaknesses..."
"Okay, then, we're done. It's time for reversing the spell, I'd say..."
"Think well, James, alright? And Sirius, prepare for the decision, because the counter curse is here... Desilentius!"
"OH YOU SHATTER BRAINS," bellowed James, while he was stroking his numb jaw. "IT WAS ABOUT THE BLOODY TIME! BECAUSE OF YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN TO MAKE ME MUTE AND DUMB I COULDN'T TELL YOU THAT ALL OF THIS WAS UNNECESSARY."
"It – it was?" Remus raised an eyebrow, looking sideway at Sirius, who only shrugged.
"Lily had already done your work," continued James loudly, but not yelling any more, "she made me come to my senses and realize I shouldn't have turned my back on you..."
"Evans for president." mumbled Sirius, pretending to be waving a flag.
"So, does that mean..." said Remus, full of hope, "that you're now... okay with us..."
"As long as you don't do any - yucky stuff in front of me," said James seriously, "I'll be... well, you know what? I'll be just fine."
"Shucks," Sirius said acting to be disappointed, "means no drooling and fleas-scratching? But I love doing that! Those are my fave yucky actions! Tell him, Moony!"
James grinned. "You know what I mean..."
"We solemnly swear we won't do anything you wouldn't do with Evans," promised Sirius. "Right, Moons?"
"What? Oh, yeah, right, right. If it's alright with Prongs, that is."
"Hmmmm... I'd say that is fair. If you really do have some, er, needs, be sure I'm not there to witness 'em, ok?"
"Why, yes," replied Sirius, "we'll try to tame ourselves."
"Remus?" asked James, looking closely at his pale friend. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah..." he smiled, "Glad we're back to normal, that's all."
"Ain't he just a tender little soul?" teased Sirius. "Sometimes I want to squish him and..."
"Sirius!" warned James.
"What?"
"Wait till I leave, please."
"That was a joke, pal," responded Sirius laughing, "A JOKE. Jay – oh – kay – ee. Get it?"
James
joined Sirius in laughing and Remus did his best to do the same,
too... but somehow, the image of James and Lily holding hands and the
gleam in her eyes as she was looking at his mate couldn't leave
Lupin's mind for a long time. He didn't know why, but that sight
made him feel terribly lonesome...
"Snap out of it, you fool," a voice in his head demanded, "how can you feel lonesome, you're surrounded by your best friends...", but the other voice responded before the first one even finished what it had started: "That is the problem, isn't it... Lily is not just a friend to James... while you and Sirius and only mates...but, which is more confusing –you don't even know if you need Sirius in the way James needs Lily or not...Why do you have to be such a messed up werewolf? Can;t you just... howl like every other beast? It'd be much easier that way, believe me..."
Auuthor's Notes: Friendship renewed... but is our little wolf starting to actually... FEEL something for real? Hmmmmm... Who am I to spoil the story for ya? Hehe. I think the next update will be filled with interesting stuff. Want me to write? Then please give me reviews. Adios amigos!
Special thanks to Shuffle Queen who corrected a few of my typos/mistakes in this chappie. Yay!
