Title: The Good the Bad and the Ugly

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Humor/ Romance

Romance: Harry/ Hermione

Author: Sofia ( Lolita ) Codd

POV: Hermione

Summary: Hermione must choose between Ron and Harry so she tries to find out who loves her more… don't worry, Happy ending. 

Chapter 1: Look whos talking

Time: Somewhere before the 6th book

Spoilers:None

Disclaimers: I own nothing, I wish I did, but I don't.

ENJOY! ( sorry this is a short chapter, I have to go eat, my mum is starting to think im becoming anorexic (rolls eyes) .

"Ron, since you're now on the Quidditch team there's a few things you should know. The rumors are true. Riding a broomstick without underwear does allow you to grip it very well. But the splinters are a bitch. After the Quidditch match, it'll look like you've crapped a porcupine."

"Oh honestly Harry!" I said. Really. Do all boys have to be sooooo immature? Ive rolled my eyes so much this week I needed a band aid to hold them in place.

"Well, I'm keeping it on, I'm wearing my lucky underwear handed down by my dad" said Ron completely ignoring me, as usual.

Before Harry could say anything Dumbledore stepped into the conversation.

"Why hello Harry, do you think I could possibly "borrow" you for a few moments before the game"?

"Uhh sure professor"

Dumbledore walked off into a dark corner.

" Hermione, if I don't come out in 5 min, go get me alright?" Poor Harry, he looked like he had saw Fred naked covered in syrup. Believe me, its scary.

"Oh, of course Harry, don't worry its probably nothing. I said trying to comfort him.

Harry slowly made his way to the corner.

5min Later

The game was about to start and I hadent forgotten my promise so I went to get harry.

" Yes Harry, I'm afraid it's true, you were born a girl" said a voice that sounded like Dumbledores.

I paused. Had I heard what I thought I heard?

" Haha I'm just messing with you! But really Harry, I think you should give what I just said a lot of thought."

"Yes proffeser, but, can I ask you a question?" said a voice I was sure was Harry's.

"Of course."

"Professor Dumbledor sir, they say that you are the only wizard Voldemort ever feared. Is that true sir?"

"Oh hevens no Harry! That's just a little rumor of mine I like to spread around just to get people to join The Order... And you thought that was true?"

"Why yes sir."

"Goodness no my boy! Have you seen Voldemort? He could totally kick my ass!"

"Oh, Ok then Um, thanks."

That's when I walked in.

" Hope I'm not disturbing anything, but Harry has to play Quidditch."

"Oh yes of course," said Dumbledore. He looked at harry, "You look extraordinarly like your father's ass, Harry. Except for the crack. You have your mother's crack. "

"Yeah? Thanks , I'll keep that in mind." Said Harry as we ran the hell away from there.

So? What did you think? The story hasent really started yet but it will next chapter. Please, please,please R and R. Just say if you…

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BYE!

XOXO

Sofia(lolita) Codd