2.Engagement

T: as yet nothing to ramble on about so onto the disclaimer…not mine and yep warnings the same!

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It has been a year now since that fateful meeting beneath the sakura and her brother has matured into a handsome and enigmatic man.

He smiles with more ease than he had in those first weeks and sometimes he seems so content that she could almost pretend the events of that last year were little more than a product of her imagination…

She has but to look at his eyes to see this is not the case…to see that his smile becomes almost as false as the smile of the one he loves.

He dresses still in the clothes that she tailors for him and yet now the styles are muted and elegant rather than loud and stylish.

This change, as with all the others that have come upon him, are as a reminder that he is growing into a man and she knows well what will be soon expected of him.

For the clan needs to be assured…stable…and now that he seems to have settled again into his duties as head, her Obaachan's thoughts will be turning to the matter of an heir.

Already Subaru has attended tea ceremonies with potential brides and though he seems clearly discomforted by these meetings he does not object to them.

If she was truthful she would say that this fact scares her…for it seems almost as though her brother was attempting to change his heart along with the rest of himself…attempting to erase Seishiro from his mind.

He is at one such ceremony today and she spends the time alone cleaning both their apartments and dealing with the complicated situation of her own romance.

She is just stirring from sleep when a faint sound for the living room sets her on edge.

Subaru would have announced his presence and animals were not allowed within the complex, so then what had caused the sound?

A casual thief or someone looking to rape her would have been dissuaded by the wards her brother has placed on both their apartments and so there can be but one person who waits for her now on the other side of the door.

He has not bothered to switch the lights on and so she can only make out his familiar silhouette through the soft light of the moon.

Yet even in such inadequate lighting he looks drawn…as though he has been ill or eating improperly.

She stifles her initial impulse to berate this clear sign of mistreatment of himself and instead comes to stand before him, her arms held firm at her side in a clear sign of defencelessness.

"I have been looking for you."

"I know."

"Then why have you decided to show yourself now, indeed why have you come to my apartment at such a late hour, Sei-chan?"

"I do not know."

This is the first truly honest answer she had ever received from him and she smiles to herself before she falls to her knees and takes a gentle hold of his hands.

"You said that you saved me because you believed it more punishment than death for me and yet that was not the case, was it?"

"I do not know."

He refused to meet her gaze this time and though he has never felt uncomfortable about lying to her before today she know that that is what it is.

"Did you save me so that Subaru would not hate you completely? So that he would think on you with just a little gratitude no matter what you had done to him?"

"Why would I want that? Why would it matter to me if Subaru-kun hated me or not?"

He seems genuinely confused and she is well aware that it is this complete naivety in regards to the matter of emotions that poses the biggest hurdle in establishing a relationship between her brother and this man.

Now is not the time to allow Seishiro to comprehend his emotions on his own and so she smiles and replies,

"It is because you love him."

"I am Sakurazukamori, I can not love."

"That is not true, Seishiro." He smiles then, one of the wide, blank, smiles she is so used to seeing on his face and then he says,

"Perhaps that is so and yet my love is a dangerous thing, Hokuto-chan, for it will kill me in the end."

"I do not understand."

"Nor should you, for it is one of the many secrets that passed between the Sakurazukamori."

She wishes to ask what this secret is and how it can turn something as pure and as precious as love into a thing of danger and yet…

She is not, nor ever will be, Sakurazukamori and thus she knows he will not answer her enquiry.

She decides, instead, to inform him of what has occurred since he had last seen her...inform him that he may soon lose Subaru completely.

"Obaachan has began searching for a wife for my brother."

She feels him tense and she knows then that it had been the right choice to tell him this.

"The line must continue, I suppose." He states after a moment.

"That is true, yet you know Subaru almost as well as I do and you know that he would not enter into such a contract with anything other than his whole self.

"Once he has agreed to a marriage then that shall be it…he will erase you completely from his mind and from his thoughts."

He raises his eyes to hers and for a moment she believes he will finally admit his heart and give himself over to any suggestions she might make as to achieving again her brother's trust, then there is a knock on the door and the enquiry of,

"Neesan, are you home?"

Seishiro is on his feet as she responds to the affirmative and he is all but out of the window as Subaru crosses into the livening room.

Their gazes lock for the briefest moment and then Seishiro is gone…the only indication he has been here at all the faintest aroma of sakura.

Subaru looks all but stunned; his eyes suddenly alive again with desire and confusion.

"Sei…sh…iro…san…" He mumbles before he falls to his knees and the tears begin.

She cradles him though she does not understand why he is weeping and then, once he has calmed, she tells him of what they had discussed…of the belief she is holding close to her heart…

"No, he does not love me." He responds eventually, his eyes falling blank again as he voices the words. "He was simply concerned as to whether his favourite toy had been mended or if it was still as broken as when he left it."

"Subaru…you are more than simply a toy to him…this you must believe."

"No…I can not…neesan…not when it hurts so…" He begins crying a new and she simply holds him…hoping beyond rational that there is a way to fix the damage to her brother's heart and to also bring life to Seishiro's.

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T: Warnings of bizarre logic in the next chapter but apart from that I don't think there is anything I want to tell you at the mo…R+R just so I know you care!