4. Decision.

T: Nothing in particular to point out again so I'm going straight to the disclaimers…not mine and warnings remain as usual the same.

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Her hands are shaking by the time she comes to her brother's apartment door and it takes her a great effort to still her hands so that she can actually knock upon the wood.

"Please, come in." Subaru sounds better than he had when she had left him, something that eases her tension the barest of fractions.

He is crouched over a spell book as she enters and it is clear, by the ceremonial dagger at his side, that he has been performing some spell or another…most likely one of a personal nature as he has not bothered to change into his Shifuku.

"I hope that you have not been doing anything too strenuous, Subaru."

"I was merely strengthening the wards, neesan, as it is clear that they were not anywhere near strong enough."

"I went to see Obaachan today."

"To talk about me?"

"I had no want for you to do something rash simply because you are hurting and marriage is the last thing one should enter into half heartedly…nor out of some odd desire for vengeance."

"I will not agree to marriage unless I believe it is the right course, neesan, and no matter what you believe I have no wish to avenge myself….

"Instead I wish only to erase the poison of his love from my heart and if I can no do that then…"

His eyes move to gaze out of the window and one of his hands curls up over his heart…she fears for what the gesture means and grasping for his fingers she enquires,

"Have you a wish to die at his hands, Subaru, to be as something more than glass to him for even the briefest of moments?"

"Perhaps."

"Subaru, I know that you do not believe me when I tell you that the things he said on that day were lies, yet it is true.

"You have won the bet between you and it is only now the spell of the sakura keeping him from admitting that fact.

"In this envelope is written a spell that can reverse that bind upon his heart and I give it to you now in hopes that you shall use it to set him free…use it to give yourself a second chance.

"The choice is yours though, Subaru and I have promised Obaachan that I shall not interfere, that I shall stand by whatever decision you make on your own." She remarks as she presses the paper hard into his hands and leaves his side at last.

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Within the envelope is both the spell and the tale of the beginnings of the bind upon the hearts of the Sakurazukamori…a tale that mentions also the curse of the Sakurazukamori's heart.

He can not help but feel pity for Seishiro-san… yet no matter the ties on his heart Seishiro-san had not needed to do as he had that day in the hospital room.

He had not needed to lie to him…

If indeed he had lied to him…

His sister kept assuring him that it was clear Seishiro-san cared, clear that the older man felt for Subaru as Subaru felt for him and there was always the eye and her continued existence to prove that fact and yet…

The eye could simply have been lost in a need to keep the promise Seishiro-san had made at the beginning of the bet, the promise to protect Subaru from all harm and as for Hokuto…

Why would Seishiro-san have killed her when Subaru was the man's victim? When he was the one branded always with those inverted pentagrams?

There was that other truth also, that if Seishiro-san truly did love him that meant that Subaru was to be the next Sakurazukamori…that he was destined to kill Seishiro-san…

No matter what the other had done to him he could never do such a thing…

Not when killing Seishiro-san would be as killing himself.

His eyes wonders again to the white of the slip of paper he had long since place, out of reach, on the coffee table.

It was not right that Seishiro-san should feel nothing at all, that he should be fated to love only when death was near and yet…

What if in removing the binds on the older man's heart he finds him all he fears him to be? Finds him nothing more that a heartless murderer?

He did not fear Seishiro-san finding love in someone other than himself…indeed if such a thing brought the other happiness then he would welcome it.

Truthfully, he feared learning that his sister was right, that all the pain Seishiro-san had caused him had been so that Subaru might hate him enough to kill him…

That Seishiro-san had began to think of him already as his successor.

This time he stands and actually takes the paper into his hands before he catches himself again.

Why had Hokuto-chan not ignored her promise to Obaachan and begged him to use the spell?

Why had they given this spell to him of all people?

Could it have simply been because he was the only one with magic enough to perform the spell?

No, if that has been the case then there would have been no choice given to him in the matter, Hokuto-chan would simply have told him to incant the spell and that would have been an end to it.

He had been given the spell because he was the only one amongst the three of them with any right to choose Seishiro-san's future.

The only one who knew both the true Sakurazukamori and his illusionary self…

He could not change what had happened in the past and as with when Seishiro-san had lost his eye he knew that thinking such things would not help.

'All you can think about is what you can do, Subaru….about what you want.

It was odd that that advice came to him now, especially as in this situation it was not the most suited…for now he could not think only of his own self and yet…

He desired only to be selfish…

Desired only to give Seishiro-san this one chance…

Changing into the crisp white of his Shifuku he grasps onto the paper and folding onto his knees begins to chant.

Slowly a magic circle forms around him, glowing brightly on the ground and the air became charged with magical energy.

He realises, about half way through, that he will not have strength enough to both finish the spell and ward himself from the backlash of the magic.

Yet now he has chosen to take this action he will not retreat regardless of the damage to himself and thus he continues the spell.

The backlash is swift and for the first brief moments he believes he shall be able to fight it.

He is faintly aware of a strange dampness coating his skin and the harsh burning of the pentagrams upon the back of his hands.

This draws his attention and he manages to raise his eyebrows slightly as he realises that the dampness was blood, he closes his eyes, and with an exhalation of breath he fell into unconsciousness.

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T: Small cliffy there I'm afraid! I will tell you now that it's not going to be an easy road for our lads even though Subaru has now leased Sei-chan's heart…there are a few bits of baggage to offload before they come anywhere near to being relaxed together…still will keep you guys hanging on! R+R as I am a praise whore!