10. Desire.

T: Well we're finally at the last chapter…ta to those who have stuck with me! Not spoiling anything here so onto disclaimer…not mine and warnings are the same…oh with the addition of an OC…come back she's not a Mary sue I promise!

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Shortly after Kakyo first awakened from his coma Hokuto spent nearly all her time at his side, leaving Subaru more or less alone for a time.

Without the comforting bubble of her unrelenting joy he could not pretend that everything was okay…could not pretend that he did not spend every night simply watching out of his window for some sign that Seishiro had at last made a decision.

It had been a year since their encounter in the hospital and still there had been nothing.

Hokuto had been adamant, at first, that the older man would return soon and yet Subaru had not informed her of that meeting…of the promise they had exchanged…thus as the months had drawn on her certainty had faded, leaving Subaru to keep faith on his own.

He felt guilty, of course, for leaving his beloved sister out of the loop and yet that moment in the hospital had been so personal, had been so completely his that he wanted to keep to himself…a need to guard it selfishly.

Thus he had set his fate and he had no choice but to guard his hope alone…had no choice but to stand alone when he had informed Obaachan that he could not wed… tell her that that his heart had already a claim upon it.

There is a soft click as Hokuto steps into his bedroom and then light floods about him, its presence unwelcome after so many hours simply staring at the darkness beyond his window.

It is clear from the folds in his clothing that he had fallen asleep in them and as his sister regards his general appearance of disarray he believes he has at last been found out.

However, she simply shakes her head and remarks,

"You need to learn that no matter how busy you are you have to have a moment to look after yourself, Subaru." Before she ruffles his hair playfully.

There is an opportunity here to tell her the truth rather than allow her to continue believe the lie, he makes his decision and ignoring the twinge of selfishness within his heart, reaches for her hand and informs her,

"Neesan, Seishiro came to see me while I was still in the hospital."

"Did he hurt you, Subaru?"

"No, instead he gave me the greatest of gifts.

"For he told me that I was unique in his heart and that he would not deceive me into believing that he loved me when he was not sure if that was indeed the case.

"I made him promise that he would come back to me when he was sure of his feelings for me…made him promise to come and speak to me even if it was bad news."

"How long ago was this?"

"A year." He replies as he sets his free hand against the glass in front of him.

He feels her lease his grip, sees her reflection moving before her arms are about him, the heat of her body making him feel again warm and protected.

"It is a wonder that he agreed to such a promise, Subaru and a show of how much it means to him that you do not hate him.

I am sure that he shall come back to tell you that he loves you, after all why else would one such as he make such compromises in his life?"

"Desire and love are things easily confused, neesan, especially when Seishiro still does not understand which emotions are which."

"If it had been simply desire then he would have taken advantage of you rather than holding back as he did."

He feels her hope lift his spirits and smiling he tells her,

"You are right, neesan."

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The welcome smell of Ueno park enters his nose and but a moment later the voice of the tree is all but screaming in his mind.

He found it rather amusing, if the truth be known, especially as he has not particularly planned to go to England, it had simply happened organically.

Thus he had not had time to warn the tree that he would be absent or feed it enough that it could cope without him for a few weeks.

The three weeks he had spent in the foreign country had been both peaceful and enlightening…peaceful due to the complete absence of the tree and enlightening because of the company he had kept while he had been there.

Her name was Laura Jones and he had met her in a small coffee bar in Northern Tokyo…her open, gentle manner enough of a fascination to him that they had struck up a friendship of sorts.

A week after meeting Laura had invited him to come to meet her family and it had sounded amusing enough that he had agreed without thinking through the consequences of that choice.

On the plane ride over to England she informed him that she was in the middle of planning her daughters wedding and that she had been in Tokyo in search of possible locations in which to hold both the ceremony and the reception.

Curious as to why she had flown so far when there were venues enough in her own country he had asked for her reasoning, to which she had replied that it was for her daughter's sake.

The man she was to marry was Japanese and her daughter loved him enough that she had abandoned her childhood dream of a white wedding and had opted instead for a traditional Japanese ceremony.

Laura's daughter had proven as much an intrigue as her mother and at the end of his first week in their house he had asked the bride to be of how she defined love.

She had been surprised at such a direct question and then giggling slightly to herself she had enquires,

'Why do you wish to know, Seishiro-san…are you in love?'

'I do not know.'

She has stopped laughing then and had asked him a few seemingly innocent questions before she has smiled and reaching for his hand had told him,

'I think that you know the answer to that question, Seishiro-san…believe that you have bottled them up here…' Before she had raised his hand to the level of his heart and left it there.

It had taken him time to understand what she had meant by that and then, with that revelation clear in his mind, he had known the truth.

He had said his goodbyes, assured that Laura had every scrap of information she would need to get hold of him when she was again in Tokyo and then he head headed home.

Dragging himself free of the recollection he assures the tree that he shall not again abandon it before he goes in search of a victim to feed to the thing as way of an apology.

Once he has performed this task he steals a few choice blooms from the trees branches and then leaps out into the night his mind full of but one thing. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Yep that's it…Warned you it was nasty! Sei-chan needed an unbiased view of his emotions to clarify things and though a little reserved on occasion us Brits are not afraid to speak our minds when we feel its necessary…thus Laura and her unnamed daughter born! R+R then go and have a gander at The Search (shameless plug) It'll give me joy!