Chapter 2: Prisoners

Lina finished pacing around the sealed room they had been brought to. Zelgadis sat in the corner, watching her idly. "Just give it up, there's no way out of here," he told her.

Lina paused for a moment to turn around and raise an eyebrow. "Never say never!" she scolded, before returning to her examination of the window.

Zelgadis leaned back into the wall and looked at the ceiling. "You don't ever give up, do you?" he said.

"Of course not!" Lina replied, still inspecting the barred windowsill. "Who would want to go through life giving up on things without even trying? You'd never really know what you could do then," she mused.

Zelgadis chuckled quietly. "Well, you did manage to capture the attention of the Emperor. I guess that is something after all."

Lina paused and glared at Zelgadis. "Hey, I already said I was sorry," she said hotly.

Zelgadis lifted an eyebrow. "No you didn't," he pointed out.

Lina sighed. "That's right, I keep forgetting you're not like Amelia. Well, I am, ok?"

Zelgadis grinned evilly, enjoying her discomfort. "You are what?" he asked.

"Sorry!" Lina said, putting her hands on her hips. "I get it. I'm sorry, OK? I'm really sorry that I got you into this mess. I'm really sorry that I met those bandits. I'm sorry that I got sucked into this world in the first place!" she exclaimed, sitting down tiredly. Her stomach grumbled loudly for good measure. "And I'm sorry that I didn't actually stop and buy that candy before climbing the stairs," she moaned to herself.

Zelgadis tilted his head and stared at her with his unblinking turquoise eyes. The silence between them soon grew uncomfortable. "What?" Lina said finally, unable to take it.

"Well, it's just that I've never seen someone from another world before," he said. "In a way, you're just as strange as me."

Lina looked up at him quickly. "Hey, you're not weird!" she said. "You're a typical boy! They're all idiots where I come from. Don't think you're something special just because you have that stone skin," she added, sniffing with annoyance.

"Thanks... I guess," Zelgadis said, still wondering if her last statement was a compliment or not. "You mean to say you don't think my skin is disgusting?" he said cautiously. "Do other people have skin like mine where you come from?"

Lina raised an eyebrow at Zelgadis and shook her head. "Oh, no, there aren't any stone boys where I come from either." She noticed Zelgadis flinching as she said that. "Hey, don't be so serious!" she complained. "There are lots of people who have problems in my world too, you know. Sometimes even worse than stone skin," she added. "You know my friend Amelia? Her mother was killed when she was real little."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that," Zelgadis said quietly.

"Yeah, she and her sister were raised by her dad alone because of that," Lina continued. "Her dad was a cop." She paused, noting Zelgadis' confusion. "A soldier... um... like the guards here." Zelgadis nodded quietly. "He got all obsessed with justice and stuff and finding the person who did it, and he never really got to raise his kids normally, you know."

Zelgadis thought about it for a moment. "Is that why she was made that dramatic speech when I rescued you two?" he asked. Lina nodded.

"Amelia's always been that way, ever since I knew her. All the other kids at school, they laugh at her because of it. It's just her way of dealing with things. But the others, they never bothered finding out her story, or trying to understand her. They just made fun of her because they thought she was a freak."

Zelgadis sat back, nodding. "And I suppose you don't, then?" he said wryly.

Lina looked at him angrily. "Hey, don't joke about that, Zel!" she said. "We may fight a lot, but Amelia's my best friend!" She sighed, shaking her head at Zelgadis. "You have to learn to stop judging people on what you see. I'd have thought someone in your position would realize that a long time ago."

Zelgadis looked at Lina in surprise; the girl actually seemed to be making sense. "Hmm... ok, then, Lina Inverse. I'll start with you. I guess you're not so bad, after all." he said. "For a brat," he added quickly, a slight shade of red tingeing his cheeks as he realized what he was saying.

Lina smiled and flashed him a Victory sign. "Right! Then I'd better get back to looking for a way out of here!" she said, standing up and brushing herself off.

"Why? I already told you, this is the Emperor's palace. You can't break out of here."

Lina shook her head at Zelgadis. "I got you into this mess, so I'm gonna get you out. We'll be even then."

Zelgadis silently guessed that Lina must not have had very good training in math to come up with that equation. But strangely enough, he wasn't feeling that hostile towards her anymore, and kept his thoughts to himself as she continued her search along the walls.

"Hey! I think I might have found something," Lina called out, beckoning to Zelgadis. "Look at this," she said, pointing at the mortar around the window.

Zelgadis shrugged slightly. "What?" he said. "It's a window."

Lina rolled her eyes at him. "No, I mean, look closer! See, the paint is chipping here, and if I pick at it a little, some more crumbles off," she said, showing him the tips of her fingers.

Zelgadis nodded slightly. "Yep, they need to repaint this place. I guess the Emperor doesn't take prisoners that often."

Lina rolled her eyes. "Don't you see? This wall's made out of some kind of packed earth." Seeing no reaction from Zelgadis, Lina gritted her teeth and said very slowly, "And what is your skin made out of?"

Zelgadis answered "Ston-oh."

Lina resisted the urge to whap Zelgadis across the back of the head, and instead forced out a tight smile. "So do some of that kung-fu stuff you do... you know, hii-yah and all that!" she said, backing away from the wall and mimicking some very bad karate she had seen in the movies. Zelgadis stared at her and sweatdropped. "AND STOP STARING AT ME LIKE I HAVE A SECOND HEAD!" she yelled, flushing a bright shade of red.

Zelgadis turned towards the window to hide his chuckle, and then crouched down, concentrating. "Don't aim for the grill itself!" Lina's voice called out from behind. Zelgadis ignored her, focusing his energy. The red symbol began to blaze out of his forehead, and with a yell he rushed forward, slamming his fist into the wall.

Lina ran up to him eagerly, looking at the window. Her face fell, as she noticed that nothing had seemed to change. "Oh well, it was worth a try," she grumbled. Suddenly, a popping sound rose from the wall. Then another, and another. They stared in surprise as a tiny network of cracks began to appear in the wall, spreading outwards from Zelgadis' fist with increasing speed. Zelgadis leaned back and cracked his knuckles with a smile. "All right! Way to go, Zelgadis- oww!" Lina said, slapping him on the back.

Zel backed off slightly, and sent a good-sized portion of the wall flying with a roundhouse kick. They both ran out into the open courtyard, and looked around in confusion. "Which way is out?" Lina said, peering around.

"Wait there, I'll take a look," Zelgadis said, before leaping up to the roof of the building.

Lina stared up after him in surprise. "HEY! You're going to leave me down here? I can't jump that high!" she said, gesturing at the rooftop.

"Shhh! Shut up!" Zelgadis hissed back down at her. "Do you want everyone to know we escaped? Just stay hidden and wait there, I'll be right back." he said, then turned at ran off.

"Great, Sherlock," Lina muttered to herself. "Run across the rooftops in the full moonlight. I'm sure THAT'LL be discreet! Damn, I had better find us a way out of here before Zelgadis screws it up!" Lina pressed herself against the wall and crept to the edge of the wall, peering out from the corner of the building.

The square courtyard was surrounded on all sides by buildings; even with the moon directly overhead Lina couldn't determine which one might lead to the gate of the palace. A lone guard was leaning against the far entrance of the building she was pressed against. Figures, she thought to herself. It is the prison, after all. But how to distract him... Looking around, she spotted some of the crumbled mortar from the wall Zelgadis had kicked down. Picking up a good-sized hunk of it, she hefted it in her hand. Maybe if I throw this stone across the yard, he'll chase after it, Lina thought to herself. "Pretty clever!" said the voice of chibi-Lina inside her head. "You're on a roll today, Lina Inverse!" Chuckling to herself, she tossed the stone across the courtyard.

The guard started, and gave a quick glance at the debris rolling across the yard. Then he turned around and looked directly at the source of the disturbance. "Ack! But it always works in the movies!" chibi-Lina screamed, panicking. Lina squashed her and quickly scrabbled around for another stone as the guard blinked and took a step towards her. "Oh hi!" she called out to him. "I was wondering if you could help me with this!" she sang, and then hurled a much larger piece of mortar directly at the guard's head. It connected with a solid THUD and the guard toppled over. Lina silently thanked every softball lesson she ever had in physical education and ran across the courtyard towards one of the buildings.

"Hey! Where are you going?" a voice called out from above.

Lina froze and looked up. A pretty blonde woman dressed in a flowing blue robe was staring down at her from one of the low balconies, while munching on a rice ball. The woman leaned over, putting her chin in her hand. "Heeeey! You're that girl that caused the riot outside today, aren't you?" she said curiously.

Lina thought quickly. Woman... courtyard... she must be one of the emperor's courtesans! Hmm, probably not too bright. Maybe I can get her to help me. She hurried over to the woman's balcony. "Please, miss! You've got to help me!" Lina said, putting on a pleading face. "It was all a big misunderstanding! I'm just a poor, lost... and, uhm, starving girl who's the victim of cruel circumstance!" she said, eyeing the woman's riceball.

The woman scratched her head, thinking for a moment. "Oh," she said finally. "Well, in that case, why didn't you just say so?"

Lina gave the woman a huge smile of relief. "She bought it!" the miraculously resurrected chibi-Lina yelled, dancing wildly.

"GUARDS!" the woman bellowed.

"Crap!" chibi-Lina complained before disappearing in another poof.

Lina backed away from the balcony quickly, her eyes darting around for possible exits. But it was too late; guards came pouring out of the buildings and surrounded her, pointing their spears threateningly in her direction. Lina sighed deeply and slowly raised her hands in defeat.

The blonde woman turned to the guards and pointed at her. "Hey, she said this was all a misunderstanding earlier. So it's OK now!" The guards sweatdropped and one of them stepped forward. "But your imperial Majesty!" he protested. "She's a dangerous criminal! You can't just let her go like that!"

Lina blinked, realization dawning on her. "You mean you're the princess?" she asked in disbelief.

The protesting guard quickly turned the blunt end of his spear around and struck her in the stomach with it. "Silence, girl! How dare you insult the Son of Heaven, His Most Imperial Majesty Emperor Gabriev!" he growled. Lina doubled over, coughing painfully.

"HEY!" The princess- er, EMPEROR, said angrily. "I said everything was ok! You shouldn't have done that!"

The guard sputtered. "But my lord!" he protested. "Such impudence-"

The emperor shook his head, walking over to the offending guard. "When I say somebody's a friend, then I mean they're a friend! Hey, can I see your spear for a second?" he asked.

The guard looked confused. "Of course, your Majesty," he replied, giving his spear to the blonde. Who immediately turned it around, and used it to deliver a startlingly quick blow identical to the one the guard had given to Lina.

"Sorry about that, Harold," the emperor said apologetically, handing the spear back to the guard who was doubled over. "But mom always told me that you should never hit a lady!" he scolded. He turned to Lina and smiled apologetically, helping her up. "Are you OK, miss?"

Lina stared at the king's guileless blue eyes, speechless. My god! she thought to herself. He was pretty as a woman, but as a guy, he's absolutely GORGEOUS! "T-t-thank you, your majesty," she managed to stammer, blushing as she gawked at him.

He laughed, shaking his head at her. "Aww, just call me Gourry. I like it better anyway! Uhh... so why were those guards chasing you again?"

Lina facefaulted, the picture of Gourry as a knight in shining armor above her head cracking up and falling to the ground in a million pieces. "You mean you don't remember?" she said incredulously.

Gourry scratched his head, looking up to the sky. "Well, actually..." Lina held her breath, waiting as Gourry closed his eyes and thought intensely. Finally he opened them and smiled at her brightly. "Nope!"

Lina crashed to the ground. "Hey! Are you ok, miss?" Gourry had crouched on the ground beside her, and was shaking her shoulder with concern.

Lina sighed slightly, picking herself back up. At least he seems like a nice guy, she concluded.

- x - x - x -

Back in the library of the real world, Amelia was completely caught up in the story. She read out loud as Lina was caught by the Emperor's guards in the courtyard.

"'The Priestess, having mistaken the identity of the Emperor of Sairoon, was punished by his Royal Gu'—OOF!" Amelia suddenly doubled over in pain, gasping for breath. It felt as though someone had given her a swift punch in the stomach. Cringing, she lay curled over the pages of the book. Finally, when her breath came back, she managed to wipe the few tears of pain that had sprung away from her eyes.

"What was that?" she moaned, holding her stomach. "Ahh... it hurts! What did Gracia put in my lunch this time?" she said, rubbing her belly. Turning her attention back to the book, she continued with the reading.

"'...was punished by his Royal Guard with a blow to the stomach. The Priestess cried out in pain and fell...'" A light bulb went off near Amelia's head.

"Hey, but that just happened to me! Maybe we're connected somehow!" Amelia said, her eyes widening. "Oh, Lina, I hope you're all right!" she exclaimed worriedly. "But where's Mr. Zelgadis? I thought he was supposed to protect her from that kind of stuff." She scanned through the lines on the page, finally reaching a passage that mentioned him.

"'Zelgadis crouched down on the roof, watching as Lina was surrounded by the Emperor's guards...'"

"That stupid fool!" he muttered to himself. "I told her to stay put!" He quickly sized up the guards. Zelgadis guessed that he could probably take them out easily. "But that would attract even more attention, and I don't want to have to carve my way out of the Royal Palace!" He swore under his breath. Lina, just hold on. I'll get you out of this, he thought. Chibi-Zelgadis popped onto Zel's shoulders and whispered "Hey! Why are you bothering? She got you into this mess in the first place!" Zelgadis paused, suddenly confused. Yeah, why am I trying to rescue her? he thought in confusion. Chibi-Zel nodded sagely and pointed at Lina. "And look over there! You can make a clean break for the gate while she's distracting them!" Zelgadis hesitated. "But..." Chibi-Zel pummeled Zelgadis' ear angrily. "Now's your chance! What the hell are you waiting for?" Zelgadis was about to reply, when a cry brought his attention back to the courtyard.

He saw Lina falling over, as one of the guards stood over her brandishing his spear. "Eep!" chibi-Zel managed before disintegrating with a poof. Zelgadis didn't notice, because a surge of anger suddenly rose in his chest. He got up and began to skitter down the rooftop towards the guards, narrowing his eyes. But he froze again as he saw Gourry dismissing the guards and helping her to her feet. "What's going on?" he hissed to himself in frustration, unsure of whether he should reveal himself. When Lina suddenly crashed to the ground again, he made up his mind quickly, and leapt off the roof to face the blonde.

Zelgadis landed in a crouch on the ground before Gourry and Lina. "Get away from her!" he growled at the Emperor, his chimeric symbol shining through his metallic bangs. "Lina, are you OK?"

Lina flushed. He's going to bring the guards right back out here again! she thought to herself in a panic. "Zel!" she said, quickly spreading her arms out. "It's OK, I explained everything to the emperor!"

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. "You talked it out? Are you serious?"

Lina rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Zel! Yes, I TALKED with emperor Gabriev, and he pardoned us." She beckoned at Gourry, who was staring at Zelgadis with fascination, oblivious to the other man's hostility.

"Hey! You've got blue skin!" he said, pointing.

Zelgadis winced. "Are you sure he's the emperor?" he asked Lina. She nodded, shrugging helplessly.

Gourry smiled. "And you've got one of those thingies!" he added, pointing at Zelgadis' forehead. Zelgadis and Lina both turned and stared at Gourry incredulously.

"What do you mean, 'one of those'?" Zelgadis said in surprise. "You've seen others who have these markings?"

Gourry nodded happily. "Oh sure. I've got one, too!" he said, pulling down the edge of his robe and pointing at his neck. A faint symbol glowed on his skin, forming the word "blade."

Zelgadis blinked. "That's incredible..." he murmured.

Lina nodded. "Yeah, it doesn't say 'stupid'!" she added. Gourry frowned and looked hurt. Lina immediately flushed and began to apologize. "Eh, umm, sorry your Majesty... I didn't mean it in a bad way..."

Zelgadis rubbed his forehead, whispering "Way to go, Lina!"

Gourry shook his head. "That's okay. I was just hoping that we could get along better. You know, so you could help me rescue my kingdom."

Lina and Zelgadis both facefaulted. "What?" they said in unison.

Gourry, seeing that he was the focus of their attention again, smiled happily. "Great! I knew you guys would want to help me out!" Lina began to protest while Zelgadis just stared in disbelief.

"You can't be serious," Zelgadis said finally. Lina nodded emphatically.

Gourry sighed. "Well, I was going to offer you some food and have my advisors explain the complicated stuff to you, but I guess you can leave if you really don't want to help..."

Zelgadis was about to ask him where the gate was when a blur of red streaked passed him, latching onto Gourry's arm. Lina beamed up at the emperor, dragging him towards a building. "Oh, there's going to be food? Well, why didn't you say so! Of course we'd be happy to listen to your story, your Majesty!"

Gourry grinned and put his hand on Lina's arm, leading her inside. "Great! And I told you, just call me Gourry! It's easier to remember..."

Zelgadis watched them walk into the building together, his left eye twitching. "That stupid..." Finally, he sighed in defeat and followed the two inside.

- x - x - x -

"Mmmm!" Lina hungrily bit into another piece of bread before diving into her soup. The voracity with which she ate was matched only by the emperor.

Zelgadis watched them devour their food, still in a dazed feeling of disbelief. Who would have guessed I would end up in the audience of the Emperor himself! he thought to himself. He snuck a glance at Lina. And all because of her, he thought, confused.

A single piece of chicken lay on the large platter in the center of the table, and Lina stabbed it with her fork. Gourry brought his knife down onto it only moments later. "Hey!" Lina said, pulling the poultry towards her plate.

Gourry frowned, "That's my chicken, Lina!" he complained, pulling it back.

"But I'm your guest!" Lina responded with a whine.

Zelgadis sweatdropped and sipped his coffee as an argument ensued. And who would have guessed that both the emperor and that girl could be such babies...

When the meal was over, Lina turned to Gourry and addressed the problem on everyone's mind. "You said something about saving your kingdom earlier. Why on earth do you think that we could help you with that?" she asked bluntly.

Gourry nodded at them and explained "Because Cephied promised to send my kingdom some divine help."

Lina blinked. "Cephied? Who's Cephied?" she asked.

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. "Cephied is the patron god of Sairoon, Lina," he said, pointing at one of the embroidered tapestries hanging on the walls around them. "The four kingdoms each have a patron beast god," he said. "Ours is Cephied, the great Phoenix of the South. You didn't know that?"

Lina shook her head. "No! I'm not from around here, remember?" she pointed out.

Gourry smacked his fist into his palm. "I knew it!" he said out loud. Lina turned towards him, raising an eyebrow. "You are the one Cephied promised to send!" he told her. "It was written in the holy scrolls that a girl from another world would come to us and save us from destruction."

Lina's eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding!" she exclaimed.

Zelgadis nodded in agreement. "For what it's worth, I've only seen this girl causing destruction, never preventing it," he added. Lina grabbed a fork off the table and banged Zelgadis' head with it. "At least you're learning," he laughed at her as she stared at the bent fork in frustration.

Gourry shook his head, his voice earnest as he spoke. "No, really! I was never too good at memorizing the old scrolls, but the priests forced me to learn this. I'm sure it's right! 'When the tail of Cephied aligns with the northern planets, the Priestess from another world shall arrive, and the Five Stars of Cephied will fall from the sky to surround her. And so the world shall be saved from destruction.'"

Lina stared at him in disbelief. "You actually managed to remember all that?" she said incredulously.

Gourry tried his best to look serious. "Hey, I am the Emperor, after all!" he said proudly, being careful not to let the others see the paper which he had been reading from slip out of the sleeve of his robe.

"So you mean to say Lina is going to save the world? Hmm. Well, forgive me for being skeptical, but I wouldn't put much faith in some old prophecy," Zelgadis said, shrugging slightly.

Gourry frowned. "We don't have much of a choice," he told the chimera. "The royal advisors told me the Elmekians were doing bad things to the borders. They said I have to do something about it. So, help me fix it!"

Lina scratched her head cluelessly. "First of all, what are Elmekians? Secondly, how am I supposed to help you fix it? I don't even know how to get back home! In fact, I was hoping YOU could tell ME."

Gourry answered irately "Elmekians are people from Elmekia. Gee, Lina, are you really that slow?"

Zelgadis winced as Lina began to beat Gourry into a pulp, much to the chagrin of the royal bodyguards, who, for the sake of plot simplicity, had just given up on trying to protect their Emperor from Lina's tender affections. When she had finished, Zelgadis spoke up.

"Elmekia is the kingdom to the north of Sairoon, Lina," he explained. "They're actually more like a mixture of all sorts of barbarian tribes, thrown together under one iron-fisted leader's rule."

Lina tapped her chin. "Sounds a lot like America," she mused. Seeing the others' confused expressions, she waved Zelgadis on to continue. "You were saying they're from the North? So they must be one of the four kingdoms, then."

Zelgadis nodded. "That's right. They have a patron deity too, the great water-dragon Shabranigdu, god of war. Fitting for a kingdom that's always been torn by warfare," he added.

Gourry, who had managed to recover from the beating slightly, piped up. "Warfare... yeah... they told me something like that about the Elmekians. I don't think they like us too much..." Zelgadis' eye twitched as he wondered how their country remained sovereign with the Gabriev family line leading them.

"Go back to sleep, Gourry, you're not missing anything," Lina said irately, echoing Zelgadis' thoughts.

"Can't..." Gourry mumbled, sitting up again. "Gotta tell you about that Priestess of Cephied stuff."

Lina sighed. "What makes you think I could be a priestess? That's a big change! I'd have to practice restraint and modesty!" She ignored the choking sounds Zelgadis was making in the corner and continued. "Seems like you would get a good deal if I agreed to be your country's priestess. But what's in it for me?"

Gourry scratched his head thoughtfully. "Well... you'd get to hang out with me and Zelgadis a lot!" he said.

"Keep going," Lina said drily.

"Uhm... you'd probably get to go on lots of fun adventures," he added hopefully.

Lina smirked. "Like getting arrested by your guards? No thanks!" she yelled.

Gourry sighed deeply. "Gosh, Lina, you're really hard to please! I don't know what else we could give you."

Lina rolled her eyes. "Then I guess you're going to have to find yourself another priestess!" she said, sitting back into the cushions boredly.

Zelgadis rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hold it," he said. "How would the Priestess rescue the country from Elmekia's advances, anyway?" he asked the dejected emperor.

Gourry perked up immediately. "Oh, that's easy!" he said. "Lina would use one of her three wishes to protect the kingdom from enemy attacks for all time!"

Lina shot up out of her cushions. She was standing over Gourry in an instant, shaking him by the lapels of his robe. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she screamed.

"Owwww, Lina, you're hurting my ears!" Gourry complained.

Zelgadis rushed to the Emperor's rescue, knocking Lina aside, only to grab him by the lapels and shake him even more vigorously. "YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO GIVE THAT MADWOMAN THREE WISHES? Are you COMPLETELY insane?"

Lina managed to knock Zelgadis aside and get the last word in to the badly shaken emperor. "I'll do it!" she screeched happily.

Gourry nodded dazedly and said "We'll start looking for the other celestial warriors tomorrow, ok? I'm gonna take a nap now..." before falling over in a heap.

- x - x - x -

The next day brought with it the challenge of finding the other three celestial warriors. Much to Lina and Zelgadis' chagrin, however, Gourry had already come up with a brilliant plan to assist in their quest.

"You mean we're just going to open up the palace gates and have auditions?" Lina asked in disbelief.

Gourry nodded happily. "Sure! I made a decree to the public about your arrival. Now that the people know the Priestess of Cephied is here, the other celestial warriors will come out to join us!"

Zelgadis smirked slightly, still irritated about last night's events. "Right, and they're just going to fall from the sky, like the prophecy said."

Gourry shook his head at the chimera. "I was hoping they would come in through the front gate." Lina just shook her head and sighed.

The three of them looked out from the balcony into the courtyard below, where several hundred men were milling around aimlessly below. "I thought there were only supposed to be five, Gourry." Zelgadis noted boredly.

The emperor scratched his head, looking thoughtful. "I guess we'll have to pick out the real ones," Gourry concluded.

Lina turned on the two of them angrily. "And how in the hell are we supposed to do that? Ask each of them to strip for us and search them for characters?" Gourry nodded and began to open his mouth, but Lina whapped him over the head before he could say a word. "I was being SARCASTIC, Gourry!"

The emperor whined in a decidedly un-royal way, rubbing the new lump on his head. "You're the priestess, Lina," he said. "Can't you pick them out?"

A vein popped on Lina's head as she held herself in check. She shot a quick glance at Zelgadis, who gave her an indifferent shrug. "You're the one who got us into this, 'priestess'," he told her.

Lina scowled, looking down at the growing crowd below. Then she straightened, putting her hands on her hips. "Fine!" she said. "I am the Priestess of Cephied, after all. I'll sniff out the other three warriors." She turned and pointed at Zelgadis. "And YOU'RE going to help me!" Zelgadis blinked, but a sense of self-preservation warned him to keep silent as he saw the murderous determination blazing out of Lina's eyes.

- x - x - x -

In the courtyard, Lina stood in the central gazebo, shouting commands at the unruly crowd. Zelgadis stood in the center of a rather large, chalk-drawn circle next to the gazebo, his sleeves rolled up and his arms crossed casually across his chest.

"SO!" Lina yelled out from the makeshift bullhorn she had constructed. "I'll go over this one last time! Those of you who are here to prove yourselves as true Celestial warriors will have to pass two tests!" She pointed at Zelgadis rather obviously. "You will have to equal or beat Zelgadis in hand-to-hand combat!" The gathered men nodded firmly. "You will also have to show the self-restraint worthy of a Celestial Warrior to me, no matter what! Is that clear?" The men in the crowd looked slightly puzzled at the second requirement, but most shrugged and nodded in compliance. Lina grinned wolfishly at them, and Zelgadis had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he saw her face.

Great! Lina thought to herself, grinning evilly. I haven't had a chance to let loose in a while. And men can be such jerks! I'm going to have fun with this! Heh heh… She put the bullhorn to her lips once more. "OK! Let's begin!"

The first hapless victim stepped into the ring. Zelgadis cast a glance at the competitor, sizing him up quickly. These guys are pathetic, he thought to himself in annoyance. This must be Lina's stupidest idea to date. He was about to quickly dispatch the competition when he froze. Lina had begun her part of the challenge as well.

"Hah! I can't believe you call yourself a man, dressing in those rags like that! Boy, I'm so glad your mother isn't here now! She would be so embarrassed, her own son dressing in a peasant woman's clothing before the royal court and the priestess of Cephied!" she yelled through the bullhorn, smiling and waving.

Zelgadis watched nervously as his opponent turned a beet shade of red.

"Why that little bitch..." the man growled, as Lina's insults continued to rain over his head. The man rushed at the gazebo, but Zelgadis easily knocked him aside, relieving the man of consciousness. He turned around.

"Do you think you could ease up a little on the insults, Lina?" Zel asked her with a note of irritation in his voice.

"Oh, I'm just warming up!" Lina replied cheerily, causing Zelgadis to facefault. "Now then, it wouldn't be a real test of their restraint if I held back, would it?"

Zelgadis glared at her from the ring. "It could be a test of yours!" he yelled back, but Lina had already raised the bullhorn back to her lips.

"Oooh, look at that. I guess he wasn't made out of the right stuff. Who's next? You!" she said, pointing at another contestant, whose eyes bulged as he shook his head wildly. In fact, most of the men were already turning to leave, cowed either by the intimidating ease with which the fierce-looking chimera dispatched his first opponent, or the insults Lina had hurled at the victim.

"Hey! Where are you all going?" Lina yelled through the bullhorn. The crowd continued to dwindle, and anger sparked in Lina's eyes. "HEY!" she roared into the bullhorn. "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU DUMB ASSES THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

Zelgadis' ears turned pink as Lina began to assault the departing crowd with a variety of unique and very colourful insults. "Lina!" Zelgadis hissed at her in warning, but it was too late.

Lina sweatdropped as she suddenly noticed the mass of formerly willing participants solidify into that unique being known as the angry mob. "Oh! Heh heh! I see I got your attention! Remember, restraint! We're looking for a Celestial Warrior here! Restraint!" Lina said nervously, backpedaling.

There was a moment of silence in the mob, before a lone voice yelled out "Screw the restraint, you bitch! YAAAHHH!" The mob broke forward, rushing towards the gazebo in an angry torrent.

"Shit!" Lina and Zelgadis yelled simultaneously as the crowd swarmed towards them. Zelgadis immediately sprung into action, sending angry mobbers flying out around him. But there were a lot of people, after all, and Lina did know how to throw an insult. They swarmed past him and overran the gazebo. Surprisingly, Lina was doing pretty well for herself, whacking back her attackers with her bullhorn. Suddenly, the whole structure began to groan.

Everyone paused, looking at the heavy tiled ceiling of the gazebo as bits of stone and silt sifted down from it. Zelgadis's eyes widened as he saw the gazebo's pillars tip and crack. "Lina!" he yelled, rushing towards her. "Get out of there!"

Before Lina could reply, the gazebo roof buckled, sending tiles and stones crashing down towards her. "AAAAAHHH!" she screamed, putting her arms over her head as she saw her life flashing before her eyes. A great weight knocked her onto her back and stunned her momentarily. "I can't believe it..." she murmured softly. "I actually died. It wasn't supposed to be this way..."

"What ... makes ... you think ... you're dead?"

Lina's brow wrinkled slightly. "Zelgadis died too?" she wondered out loud. A sharp pain in her leg brought her back fully. "Ouch! Hey, I thought death wasn't supposed to hurt!" she moaned, cracking her eyes open.

And directly into Zelgadis' face, which was hovering inches above hers. Lina turned a bright shade of red. "What the hell..." she began, when she suddenly became aware of the close proximity of their bodies. Zelgadis was straddled above her, his arms planted next to her shoulders. "Why you perverted basta-" she began, when she noticed the tension in his face and arms.

Zelgadis' eyes were squeezed shut, and dimly, Lina realized the light she was seeing was emanating from the chimeric symbol on Zelgadis' forehead, which was blazing with a furious intensity. Cautiously, her eyes travelled beyond his face, and bulged at what she saw next. Zelgadis was holding up a particularly large chunk of the heavy enamelled roof that had fallen on them. In fact, he was the only thing keeping them both from becoming gazebo pancakes.

But he wasn't in the gazebo when it fell, Lina's brain began stupidly. How'd he get under here? Then the rest of her brain realized that she was thinking like Gourry and kicked in. "Why in the hell did you do that?" she hissed at Zelgadis.

"Would ... have been ... killed ... you idiot," he managed to mumble. He felt Lina shift a little below him, and opened one of his eyes. His arms almost gave out as he saw what she was doing. Lina had wrapped her own arms around Zelgadis' neck.

What the heck? his brain screamed. She wants to get romantic at a time like this? Hmm, though she is kind of cute... Two tons of ceramic tiling on his back reminded him of reality. "What … are ... you … doing?" he spat through gritted teeth.

He was surprised when she answered him. "Trying … to help ... you ... big ... jerk!" she bit out, as beads of sweat popped up on her brow. It was then that he realized her arms were not around his neck. Rather, she hand put her hands on the wall of the ceiling next to his head, and was pushing it back with all of the strength she could muster in her petite body. "I'll be damned … if you ... let me … kill you!" she managed, still pushing.

Zelgadis stared at her in surprise. She really didn't ever give up. But that was all he had time to think of, as the ever present weight of the wall brutally informed them of their predicament.

Lina gasped as the she noticed the light in the tiny pocket Zelgadis was holding up began to fade. His arms started to buckle, and she heard splintering sounds coming from his back. Grimacing, she redoubled her efforts to push up the wall. No! she thought to herself. Somebody better help us soon! Another pop sounded, and Lina felt a panic rising in her throat. Hold on, Zelgadis! she thought desperately as the ceiling cut into her palms.