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Title of chapter is a song by The Perishers


Chapter 4 My Heart

For a long time, I never liked my half brother, Nathan. I never even though of him as a brother. He was just another kid who had the same father as me. He was also a punk kid who teased me and beat me up every day at school. Needless to say, Nathan didn't like me either.

It wasn't until my first year of Raven's basketball when Nathan and I started to act like brothers. Actually it took a few 'Things' to make our brotherly bond to form, but when it did, I saw a side of him that I never knew existed. He wasn't a carbon copy of our father, like I thought he was. Nathan was different.

Nathan's the kind of guy you want on your side because you know you can depend on him to be there for you. He's the type of friend who will stick by you not matter what; who will make you open your eyes to see what's right in front of you; who will give you the push in the right direction; and who I am proud of to call my brother.


Flashback: June 2005

The ball bounced off the court and rolled onto the grass. It continued to roll on its own path until Nathan trapped it underneath his foot. He was walking hand in hand with Haley towards the court, where they were meeting Lucas for lunch. Before picking up the ball, the couple noticed that Lucas wasn't alone. Peyton was standing beside him on the court.

"This looks interesting," Haley commented to Nathan with a wink. "I think it's time Peyton and I had a little chat,"

Nathan grinned as he watched his wife take off towards Peyton. Haley barely said 'hello' before she grabbed Peyton's hand and pulled her off the court. Lucas also watched a surprised Peyton being dragged off the court, but he shrugged it off and turned his attention back to Nathan who was holding his basketball.

"Hey, man," Lucas called from the court. He clapped his hands and held them out just in front of his midsection, waiting for Nathan to pass him the ball. "Yo! You gonna give me the ball or smile at me all day?"

Nathan shook his head. With a flick of his wrists, the ball sailed towards Lucas's waiting hands. As soon as the ball touched Lucas's hands, he took another shot.

"What's with the grin?"

Nathan grabbed the rebound and nodded over in Peyton's direction. Lucas rolled his eyes. He didn't want to get into another deep conversation with his brother, especially in front of Peyton.

Dribbling the ball, Nathan made his way over to his big brother. "A simple 'thank you' will do," Nathan said in a cocky voice.

"Thank you for what?"

"You know…our little conversation a couple of months ago or did you forget?"


FLASHBACK: 7 Months Earlier

LUCAS: There's nothing wrong with my heart, Nate.

NATHAN: Yah? That's what you said after your car accident. You told me you didn't wanna be afraid to live your life.

LUCAS: That's right.

NATHAN: Well I don't buy it, Luke. I think there's something in your heart you're running from.

LUCAS: (Smirks, sighs and looks away) OK, what are you? Psychic?

NATHAN: You can make jokes about it all you want…but you know there's a girl you had feelings for.

LUCAS: Nathan-

NATHAN: Look me in the eye. Tell me I'm wrong.

Lucas looks at Nathan but couldn't find the words to deny it. He knew his little brother was right.

NATHAN: See? Now you can be made at me all you want; you can say your heart's fine…but till you tell this girl how you feel… your heart's gonna be flawed. You need to talk to her Luke.

END FLASHBACK


Lucas remembered the conversation very well. In fact, it played over and over in his mind ever since.

"I'm just teaching her how to play, that's all. We're just friends, Nate," Lucas said with a shrug.

"Oh come on, Luke. You guys have been practically spending every moment of every day with each other for the past few months. You can't tell me there's nothing going on,"

"Like I just said, 'we're just friends'," he replied with more authority in his voice. He was quickly becoming annoyed with his younger sibling.

The smile slowly faded from Nathan's face as he realized that Lucas never told Peyton how he felt, "You never told her…"

"Forget about, Nate," Lucas said as he tried to swat the ball out of his hands.

"No, I won't forget about it," Nathan replied angrily as he whipped his body around to protect the ball from Lucas. The sudden outburst caught the attention of the girls who were in the middle of a similar, but more civil conversation of their own.

Lucas glanced back at the girls and noticed that they were watching. He looked back at Nathan and glared, "Leave it alone,"

Nathan lowered his voice, "Why? You scared that Peyton will finally know the truth?"

"Just give me the ball," he demanded, holding out his hand.

"No,"

"Give me the damn ball,"

"Make me,"

Out of frustration, Lucas pushed Nathan. Nathan lost his balance, but quickly took a step back to regain his footing. He stepped forward and bumped Lucas with his chest. Lucas held his ground. The Scott brothers were now locked in a menacing stare-down.

Seeing that the two brothers were on the verge of physically fighting, both Peyton and Haley jumped off the picnic table and headed towards the court.

"Hey, cut it out you two," Haley called out.

"Hey, here she come, Luke…" whispered a smug Nathan, "Now's your chance to tell her about your heart,"

"My heart is fine," Lucas replied through his clenched teeth, "Just mind your own business.

Even though it wasn't any of his business, Nathan felt the need to interfere. All he wanted was to see his big brother happy. He just wanted Lucas to have what he had with Haley.

Worried that the situation would get further out of hand, Peyton and Haley, pried the two boys apart and were now standing between them. Peyton stood in front of Lucas while Haley stood in front of Nathan. With one last glare, Lucas finally broke the eye contact and walked away.

"You can keep walking away, Luke, but you and I both know that you or your heart will never be fine,"

Lucas continued to walk towards his truck as if he didn't hear his brother's last comment. Both girls, on the other hand stared at Nathan in utter disbelief.

"Nathan!" Haley scolded as he hit her husband on his arm.

"Ow," Nathan said, rubbing his left bicep.

Peyton walked over and did the same to his right arm.

"Ow," he repeated, now rubbing both arms.

"How could you say that to him?" Haley demanded.

"Why can't you just leave him alone? The doctors told him his heart would be fine as long as he took his meds," Peyton continued.

"No, it's not,"

Both girls wound up for another punch, but hesitated when Nathan backed up and held his arms up in surrender. "Wait, let me explain first…then you can decide if you want to hit me again,"


LATER THAT NIGHT

Lucas heard a soft knock on his door, but continued to stare at his book, even though he wasn't really reading it. His mind was too busy replaying his earlier confrontation with Nathan. Lucas didn't know what to do.

The door slowly opened. Lucas peered around from his book and just saw some curly blonde hair. He began to get nervous. Knots tied his stomach and his palms began to perspire. He tried to quickly collect his thoughts and sat up on his bed. Peyton warmly smiled at him as she closed the door behind her. Seeing her smile made him relax a little.

"Hey, your mom let me in," she began. "I was waiting for you to come by for our nightly talk, but you didn't…so I decided to come here,"

Lucas looked over at his digital alarm clock. The red numbers flashed 11:24pm. "Oh, I was going to but, um, I started this book and…"

She held her hand up, telling him to stop. "It's okay. You don't have to explain. I just wanted to make sure things were alright,"

Lucas nodded his head. For the next thirty seconds, neither of them said a word. He sat on his bed while she stood at the foot of the bed, both avoiding any kind of eye contact. It was the first time in months that an awkward silence fell between the two.

"Well, um…I'll let you get back to your book," Peyton finally said. She turned and headed towards the door. He was about to tell her to stay, when she suddenly faced him. "We're friends, right?"

The question caught him off guard. "Ah, yeah. Of course,"

She took her hand off the doorknob and walked back to Lucas's bed. "And that means we can talk to each other about everything, right?"

He nodded his head, but wondered what she was getting at, "Yea,"

She sat down on the bed with her feet hanging over the edge of the bed. Lucas moved across the bed and sat down beside her. He watched her nervously tuck a curl behind her ear. He could see fear in her eyes and Lucas became concerned.

"Then why didn't you tell me, Luke?"

"Tell you what?"

"After you left River Court…Nathan told me,"

Lucas's face dropped. He couldn't believe his own brother turned on him. He was angry with Nathan for telling. But at the same time, he felt scared because he didn't know how Peyton felt.

"How long have you known for?" she asked.

"Honestly…I've always known,"

Peyton looked at Lucas with confusion.

"Peyton, I was scared to tell you. I mean the last time I tried to tell you, you threw me out of your room. And now, we're just becoming friends again…I just didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose you,"

Peyton thought for a moment, trying to figure out what Lucas was trying to tell her, "What are you trying to say?"

"Look, Nathan already told you, but you need to hear it from me…I love you. I've always had and probably always will. I wanted to tell you so many times that I wanted us to be more than just friends, but I was scared that you didn't feel the same way,"

Lucas waited for Peyton to respond, but she sat there frozen in front of him with wide eyes. Clearly, she wasn't expecting Lucas to confess his love for her.

"Wow," she finally managed to say, "I…I don't know what to say," she finished with a giggle.

Her laugh made Lucas feel rejected. He could feel his heart beginning to painfully rip apart. She didn't feel the same way, or so he thought.

"Lucas, I'm going to be honest with you…you know when we lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling, not talking? Well, that's when I wonder if we could ever be more than just friends. Because I don't think it's possible for me to love you just as a friend," She reached for his hand and held it, "I still want the same things you do,"

Lucas returned the smile and leaned in to kiss her. It was a simple kiss on the lips, but they both felt the same thing: love.

"Wow," Peyton said.

"Yeah, wow," he repeated.

"No, I mean 'wow' as in 'wow, that Nathan is good',"

"Huh?"

Peyton laughed, "Nathan told me that a heart specialist called you and told you that they mixed up the test results. He said your heart wasn't ok and that I should talk to you,"

"Yeah, a heart specialist named Nathan Scott," he shook his head, laughing. "I think we owe that specialist a little visit," Lucas got off the bed and Peyton followed.

"Hey, I think it's time for you to see a new specialist," Peyton joked as she grabbed his hand. "Come here," Peyton wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, "From now on, I'll be the one looking after your heart,"

The two shared another happy smile before they locked themselves into a long awaited passionate kiss.