Severus, from under the left arm of Remus, came face to face with Bellatrix as he entered the apartment.
"We had an accident," Severus said, realizing that he hadn't told Bella anything that had been happening. Perhaps in fear of an 'I told you so.'
"No shit you had an accident. I come over here to spend time with my favorite family and what do I find? No one here and blood all over the floor. I thought you were dead and wolves, no offense, Lupin, had carried off your carcasses."
"That's not it," Regulus said. "Nice to see you, Bella."
"Nice to see you, user," she said, glaring at him. She grinned. "Well, what happened?"
"Let's get Remus settled first," Severus said. He and Regulus helped Remus into the apartment and onto the couch.
"Are you okay now?" Severus asked. "I wish I had some sort of spell for the pain. I was never very good with healing spells anyway. Don't you... don't you have your wand?"
"Pawned it," Remus said. "But the pain isn't that bad. However, Dr. Whatever his name is refused to give me anything for it after they finished stitching up my leg."
"I'm sorry... I forgot about that side effect. And I shouldn't have."
Remus swallowed. "You knew that could happen?"
"Well, I didn't know that it could happen to that degree. I had the same maladies back in reality that I had in the memory, but that was just bruising. I had no idea that it could be that true to life."
"Thank you for helping," Remus said.
"I'm sorry."
"So is anyone going to tell me what just happened here?" Bella asked, lighting a cigarette.
Severus explained, as briefly as possible. Bella hadn't even finished her fag by the time he was done. She blew smoke out her nose.
"You're telling me, Sev, that you just happened to test your knowingly unstable drug on Remus?"
"I'm trying to work out the bugs," Severus said. "Remus insisted on testing it, but he won't be anymore. Not knowing what will happen if it's not right. I'll continue testing on myself."
"I thought you got rid of the drugs," Bella said, flicking her ashes on the floor.
"Not the Potions. Not Elixir. I still have hope for it."
"It's very vivid," Remus said. "Once you get it to work, it'll be amazing, Severus."
"Thank you. Oh, Bella, Sirius is in town."
She nodded. "I know. The fuckwad came over and tried to get me to take him in. Usual crap. 'Oh god, I'm so poor.' I'm not that fussed by him. He's a dick and that's all there is to it. I don't think we'll ever be free of him, but we'll do what we must."
"He's a tricky thing to get rid of," Regulus said.
"The man is mildew. Scorgify a hundred times, he never goes away," Bella agreed. She inhaled the remains of her cigarette and squashed the flame between her thumb and forefinger. "Now, would you like to tell me why you're testing the drug and not just working like normal people?"
Everyone was silent for a moment, until Regulus spoke.
"Because I'm a fuck up! Because I'm still using, and because I stole drugs for motherfucking Voldemort and I owe him a six hundred Galleons! If Sev can get this stuff off the ground, it'll be the new acid. It'll be the most popular drug on the planet, and you fucking well know it, Bellatrix!"
"God damn," she replied. "I knew you were an idiot, Reg, but this? And making Severus be responsible for you? I told him to ditch you. I told him that a month ago. But he never listens to me. All of his love and bullshit. And even now, when you're killing everyone around you, Regulus, you still rely on him to get you out of your messes. Why don't you just go turn yourself in and die like a reasonable person?"
Regulus grabbed Bella by the collar of her coat and hissed something in her ear. The expression on her face never changed as Regulus shoved her away and walked for the door.
"That's right, Reggie, walk out the door like a good Black! They all do it, good boy!" Bella shouted after him. She was still yelling even after he slammed the door. "That's all you boys know how to do, run away!"
"Was that necessary, Bella?" Severus asked.
"Sure it was. How many times have I told you that Regulus is an idiot? That he was using you? He basically said that he was there."
"It doesn't matter. When they threatened Regulus, they didn't shoot him, they shot Remus. It's personal. Even if I ditched him now, they know where we live, they know what would hurt Regulus. Even if he is using me, it would still be painful if I were gone."
"Yeah, no more meal ticket."
Severus scowled. "Bella, I think it's time you left."
"I don't think so," she replied. "Because you don't have a head on your shoulders, Sev, when I'm not here. I'm looking out for you."
"Well, you don't have need to. I'm fine."
"You're fine. You're right. You're just killing yourself and everyone around you. Good-bye, Sev." Bella left, lighting a cigarette.
"Do you really enjoy having the responsibility for Regulus' mistakes?" Remus asked.
"No," Severus said, "but she doesn't need to throw it in my face."
"No, she doesn't," he agreed. "But that doesn't mean she doesn't have a point."
"I'm perfectly aware of the points she makes, thank you, Remus."
Remus nodded. "So what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to finish Elixir, I'm going to figure out what I'm doing wrong, and I'm going to get it on the street. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life, however long that may be."
"Don't talk like that," Remus whispered. "Nothing's going to kill you. Not if... not if we can help it."
Severus, quite suddenly, took to heart the words that Remus had said just before becoming a part of their household. Does he know that there are parts of me that still love you?
Perhaps it was more true than Severus was willing to believe. More true than he wanted to believe.
He shook himself. "Don't worry, Remus, I'll be fine. I've got to be more careful, though."
Remus nodded. "I'm going to nap, if you don't mind."
"No, go ahead." Severus set himself to work on his Potions. He looked over his parchment, measurements changed, ingredients added, and then taken away. It was dirty with scratch-outs and mark ins.
He reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a fresh sheet of parchment. He scratched away, new measurements.
Severus looked over the ingredients. There were a lot of toxins in it. Perhaps too many? What could counteract, but not remove the effects of, all the mind-altering toxins in it?
"I wonder," he muttered, grabbing a mortar and pestle from the kitchen. He also picked up his knife on his way. He sat at the desk and cut a bezoar in half. He ground it in the mortar and added it to the mixture.
He let the Potion stew over the gas flame on the stove in a small, dented cauldron.
"Ugh," he said, the acidic smell flooding the room. It wasn't as bad before. Who would have thought half a bezoar would make such a difference? He remembered the smell from the first time he took Elixir, and how it happened afterward. It was right, maybe, this time.
As the Potion cooked, giving it three stirs every ten minutes, Severus noted the addition of the bezoar and pondered the differences that it would make to the other ingredients that needed adding.
After an hour of this, he turned off the flame and poured the Potion directly into a pewter flask. It took no time for the flask to grow hot and nearly burnt his hand. He set it down and wondered if he should just wait for it to cool, or if to wait overnight.
He sat at the desk and poured over his notes from the previous versions of Elixir. The version he took had cooled overnight. The version Remus took was only a few hours old. Was it more potent fresh? Is that why his leg tore open? Or was it just that in his memory, that's what happened? As in Severus' memory, he had only received bruising.
Severus looked at the flask. He could guess, be ninety-nine percent sure, but he could only ever be truly sure if he took it. Would the bezoar work and protect him from the toxins?
He found a fresh needles and the syringe. It was time to find out.
