This is the end…Ya…This chapter kinda sux… but I didn't know how to end it. Ok… so… Don't expect a sequel… If you read the end you will know why… I might write another stupidfic….. but I might not…MUAHAHAHA! I have the power!

Disclaimer: Popeye is not mine… only in matrimony… ya… I married Popeye… heh…Spandex and Hercules and Pennies are not mine…WAIT! I do have a bunch of Pennies! Pennies ARE mine! Woot! Cross-dressing and being drunk is not for me… Hillary Duff is a martian… she belongs to her leader… Regis Philbman is the property of Kelly Ripa… That is my final verdict! Spanish belongs to people who can speak it. Britney Spears belongs in Hell. Gloria Gaynor belongs in some other era and Y-Gi-Oh will never change hands, no matter how many times it is traded. The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy is the property of the deceased Douglas Adams. The show is obviously not mine… but the mime is!

Oh ya… Mariah Carry is…not mine…thank god…


The gang came in at four in the mourning. They found Jess asleep on the nylon-seat-for-people-who-couldn't-mount-a-horse and Rory snoring loudly on the ground, gnawing on a piece of cauliflower.

"Hey! That's my cauliflower!" A man, who looked like Popeye, cap and all, grabbed the slobbery vegetable out of Rory's mouth.

"But I thought…" Rory mumbled in her sleep, "You liked…" All nine of the weird gang members leaned forward to listen "… Spinach." She finished and plucked the cauliflower out of the man's hand while gracefully returning to a deep slumber.

"I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm strong to the finich

Cause I eats me cauliflower

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm one tough gazookus

Which hates all palookas

Wot ain't on the up and square

I biffs 'em and buffs 'em

An' always outroughs 'em

An' none of 'em gets nowhere

If anyone dasses to risk me fisk

It's "boff" and its "wham", un'erstand

So, keep good behavior

That's your one life saver

With Popeye the Sailor Man.

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm strong to the finich

Cause I eats me cauliflower, damn it!

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" Doug sang his theme song.

"Shut up Doug." Jess sleep-mumbled. Douge had been allowed into the gang because he was though and provided a never-ending source of food. Well, cauliflower, but at least they never got scurvy. Unfortunately, he was obsessed with Popeye, and randomly broke into song.

"Does something look… strange, about those two?" Bert, the leader who always wore spandex, looked at Rory-puddle, who was wrapped around a mannequin, and at Jess-puddle, who had bits of hay sticking out of him.

"Not really. They are a bit fleshy, but nothing unusual." Said Penelope, a man with a nose piercing and biceps that would make Hercules quiver.

"Shut up Penny. They look hot." Fred, Penelopes' girlfriend glared at him. Needless to say, she was drunk.

"Needless to say," She still said. "I'm drunk." And collapsed in a ball beside Rory.

"Fred's out, I'm pooped." Cross-dressin' cross-dressin' Kelly said, and mounted her favorite pink horse.

Bert snapped his spandex shorts and licked his lips. Nobody knew what this meant but he did it a lot anyway.

Hillary Duff flipped her hair and Regis Philbman bit his nails. They were the only two celebrities in their gang. Strangely enough, they were the biggest embarrassment you could throw on a group of people who wanted to look though. Hillary only smiled sickeningly at the cops and Regis was always so nervous that he kept twitching. He had shot himself in the foot twelve times now. Plus they both wasted a lot of cash on clothes. Bert had killed Alice Cooper because he had spent the gang's food for a year on face makeup and leather pants.

Another member of the gang who everybody called simply 'Mime', was miming getting ready for bed. Once he started miming that he was going to the bathroom, Bert had to snap his spandex shorts and lick his lips to make him stop. Mime bowed, and fell asleep on top of his invisible box.

Llamaron el miembro pasado de la cuadrilla señor y él podría hablar solamente español. El señor no sabía dormir; él podría sonreír solamente. Él estaba parado sobre todos en la noche que sonreía. La mayoría de las noches él startled a alguien tanto que lo golpearon inconsciente. Que el día Bert lamió simplemente a sus labios y señor bajó inconsciente. Alguna gente piensa que Bert es violento... ¿usted?

Finally Bert was the only one awake. He smiled and a few chipmunks fell dead in the forest. He pulled the blanket off Jess and sat down on the bed. He reached over to the CD player… slowly raised the volume and pushed play. Brittany Spear came blasting out of the speakers and everybody jolted awake.

"At last!" Bert had enough noise to sleep. He put in earplugs and fell into slumber-land. The rest of the gang (except Rory, she was still asleep. And Mime, he doesn't talk. Y Señor. Él era inconsciente.) grumbled, swore and screamed but Brittany did not stop wailing about her sex life. Finally the recording finished, but Mariah Carry was next in line. Nobody else knew how to stop the machine from working, so Jess started to cry.

"I don't think they belong together! If he left her, then why does she still think he's worth anything?" Suddenly Rory shot up.

"Good point, Jess! You left me… then you came crawling back!" She slapped him and stole his Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards. "Its like that song by Gloria Gaynor, 'I will survive!'" She looked around the carrousel and spotted Hilary Duff buried in a pile of shoes.

"Can I use your cell-phone?" Hillary giggled innocently and handed it over.

"Hey mom! Can you pick me up? I'm in New York… on a weird carousel thing-y…"

"I know honey." Lorelei stepped out of Nowhere, who had been parked right behind Jess's car.

"Goodbye Jess! I'm moving on!" She threw his Yu-Gi-Oh cards into the air and they floated down like confetti.

Jess wasn't watching. He was simply making out with Kirk.

And life goes on.

Without Rory annoying him, Jess turned back into a real person. He and Kirk had a menage a troi with the scarecrow.

Without Jess to annoy her, Rory turned back into a solid human. She kept the mannequin in her dorm room and hooked up with a guy who worked on the newspaper with her, Logan's friend, Finn. They had fifteen babies and moved to Timbuktu.

Lorelei killed Luke and served him in his own diner to Miss Patty and Tailor, who had gotten married. Tailor took one bite and knew it was Luke's flesh. He paid Lorelei double and bought the diner.

Unfortunately none of this mattered because Earth was vaporized by the Vogons to make way for an inter-space bypass.


Ya.. ok… its done. Here is a translation of all Mister says:

The last member of the gang was called Mister and he could only speak Spanish. Mister did not know how to sleep; he could only smile. He stood over everybody at night smiling. Most nights he startled somebody so much that they knocked him unconscious. That day Bert simply licked his lips and Mister fell unconscious. Some people think Bert is violent… Do you?

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