Forgotten Daze
FF7 Fan Fiction

Chapter 3


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The night was quiet and the room was dark. Zack had positioned himself in the window sill, a stolen bottle of carefully smuggled beer hanging precariously from his grip.

"And then you solved world hunger, created world peace, and rescued the kitten from the tree, is that it?"

Zack turned to his friend, already a bit too tipsy to argue. Instead he continued to melt in his semi-euphoric state, a thick glaze over his bright blue eyes. "He's like you," he managed to mumble, grinning to the white-haired man's back. "Except for the asinine comments, but I'm sure those will come in time."

"Just part of the territory, no doubt."

"Hey, it's not easy to be the designated good guy among all you stiff necked bureaucrats, you know."

Sephiroth fell silent once more, lost in the darkness and Zack's own slightly blurred vision. The black haired soldier heard himself grumble something inaudible, angry at his friend's swift departing.

"Is that why you brought him up, then?" Sephiroth asked, apparently still somewhere in the dark room. Zack emptied the last bottle before answering.

"No, it's just ... " He let his head fall to the window, the cool glass sending a small shiver through him. "I could have maybe gotten him to come out entirely, you know."

"I fail to see why it's so important. So he's weak, anti-social and self-hating. Why bother with someone like that?"

Zack began to laugh, although he hadn't meant to be as amused as he seemed. "He's like /you,/ dammit, don't you get it?"

Sephiroth was silent again, but Zack knew the emotion that had taken him over. He laughed harder. "Okay fine, you're /strong/ and anti-social. And self-hating, in certain aspects, I suppose, all your stupid angst and history and--"

"Zack."

"... Are you leaving?!" The black haired soldier was more than used to his friend's tactics. "It's like," Zack looked around the room, straining his eyes in the darkness. "It's like, early."

"With all that it takes to make a SOLDIER," Sephiroth said quietly, "It's supposed to be fairly hard to get drunk."

Zack only laughed again. "Yeah, I suppose, but this shit's pretty potent, not to mention laced with god knows what, and it's like my ... uh ... it's ... not my first bottle, anyway."

He heard the silver haired man mutter something, Zack's advanced state of incoherence obviously bothering him.

"Such a tight ass," Zack slurred, turning back to the window, the cool glass incredibly inviting to his bare shoulder.

"If you're going to sit there and talk about this kid all night--"

"You'll leave?" Zack scowled, his eyes half shut. "Good thing you're not the jealous type, right?" There was no reply, and Zack sighed. "Fine, go, it's fine." Once again there was no response, and Zack knew he was alone.

If there was one thing he could count on, it was that Sephiroth was nothing but a stone wall at the end of his talk. He could say anything around the man and know it would go nowhere. The thought was slightly reassuring, as the booze hadn't don't much to keep Zack's stories down, and most of his recent talk was of the blond recruit he had discovered.

Of course he was sure that even if Sephiroth had actually listened to his stories, he still would have done nothing. So there was a young kid somewhere that Zack thought acted like him. He knew his friend's interest couldn't be peaked by such a meager statement.

Zack's thoughts began to lose focus, the alcohol and lack of sleep doing little to let the Mako keep him awake. Slowly he stood, carefully making his way to what he assumed was his bed. It was still disheveled, blankets strewn about the bare mattress, and somehow still warm. It was more than enough for the black haired man to bury himself deep, drifting off into a true slumber for the first time in weeks.


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"Is it there? Is it there?!"

"Quit /elbowing/ me and I'll tell you!"

"What about Mason? Is that name up?"

"Holy /fuck!/"

"Shit, I knew I wouldn't make it."

"D-Davis? /Davis/ made it and I didn't?!"

"Oh, hell fucking /yeah!/"

"Like I'm just going to go home now?! "

"Oh, my god! /Whipps/ made it?!"

"Hell /fucking yeah!/"

A large crowd had formed on one side of the room, a small cork board pinned with the holiest of lists: that which decided who went on, and who went home. Cloud's thoughts were dark as he watched and listened to the group, slightly bitter that all their weeks of training hadn't even been enough to merit Shinra reading the names themselves.

There was still the occasional cry of joy and defeat when the blond decided to make his way to the front. Two doors lined the sides of the board, guarded by two large, intimidating Shinra officials, ready to send the winners forward and the losers home. The room had been steadily decreasing in mass, most of the energetic youths already long since gone, moving on to their new positions.

Cloud spotted a hint of red, no doubt Aiden's own hair, near the board. The boy stood, watching the ground, apparently deep in thought. One of his friends stood nearby, talking at full speed, not the least bit concerned in his friend's absent minded stare. Cloud looked away, hopefully able to make it out of the room before the boy noticed him.

The blond inched his way forward, not at all rushed, waiting for the group to disperse more for his own chance to look. One of the boys in front of him jumped, crying out as he slapped his friend on the back, laughing and rushing over to one of the Shinra men. It must have been nice, Cloud thought, to succeed in things.

It was his turn, the blond realized, the board completely clear of other recruits. He sighed internally, not even quite sure why he bothered to come. Pointless, he thought, just like everything else here.

Cloud looked to the sheet, his eyes skimming over the names. Bradley, D'marko, Langly, of course that threesome had made it. Norris, Pearson ... Ryland ... well, of course Aiden had made it, he had been one of the best ... and ... what? Cloud's eyes narrowed as he moved closer to the board, staring hard at the name. Jesus, what were the odds? Someone that had made it past the cuts had the same exact name as him! Even the spelling was--

Oh.

" ... Oh. ... Shit."

A few of the others around him turned, noticing the boy's horrified expression. Off to the side, Aiden still stood, his eyes closed. Obviously he had already noticed.

"Oh ... mother of fucking hell ... " Cloud tripped back away from the board, his hand to his head, trying to steady the sickening notion that his entire head was floating.

Cloud looked to Aiden, his eyes wide with terror. The redhead returned the gaze, his eyes flat and unreadable. Was this a joke? The blond turned quickly, facing the remaining recruits who were now watching him with interest. Aiden must have ... Cloud turned back, his mind reeling. He must have done it, it had to be some sort of joke, there was no way--

"Congratulations, then, Strife," The redhead said quietly, the traces of anger and resentment for once absent in his voice. Cloud opened his mouth to speak, the horrific onslaught of emotions too much to keep up with.

"What ... what the /hell/ is going on?!"

A few of the other recruits behind him laughed slightly, patting him on the back. They had no idea who he was, he had been too silent in the training for anyone other than Aiden to notice.

"Congrats, kid," one of them said.

"Yeah, I'm surprised I made it too, so don't worry."

Cloud rushed back to the board, his hands digging into the cork, his nose only a matter of inches from the paper. Strife, Cloud. How was that /possible?!/ "Well, we're guaranteed a position in Shinra, now," One of the boys said, slapping his own chest in victory. "Now we /really/ get to have fun."

Another hand came down on his shoulder. Cloud stood in shock, gaping at the list of those who had made it past the preliminary cuts. The boy behind him pulled him away. "Come on, we gotta get our stuff moved into the new barracks,"

The blond turned to the boy, his eyes still wide. He opened his mouth to speak once again, and quickly shut it, fearing the noise of confusion that would undoubtedly spill out.

"Name?" Cloud looked up at once, having been lead to a nearby door. The dark Shinra official stood tall, gazing down on the blond. " ... Name?"

" ... Guh?" Okay, apparently random sounds of ignorance could still make their way out.

"Johnson," The tall soldier that had led Cloud so far answered, letting his hand drop from his shoulder. "Benjamin, Sir,"

The officer looked to his clipboard, making small ticks with his pen. He nodded finally, glancing briefly at the ID card the young recruit held in front of his beaming face. He stepped around the man, disappearing into another room, leaving Cloud to answer the question for himself.

"Name?"

"Uh ... " He looked around suddenly, still sure it was somehow a joke. Only a small number of recruits were left, and none bothered to look in his direction. "Strife, Cloud, uh, Sir," he answered, fumbling for his own ID card.

The man nodded, looking to his list. Cloud felt his stomach twist.

"The list said I was, I don't know, I didn't think I had made it, but it did say it, I don't know, I was thinking someone else did it, but I don't know cause it was there and--"

"Right," The man let his pen snap down to the board, and Cloud's eyes went wide once more.

"... huh?"

"You're on the list, kid, get inside."

" ... Oh. Oh! Okay!" Cloud let his ID fall back on the string around his neck, maneuvering around the tall man and into the next room, trying his best to keep his expression neutral. For once in his life, he found it extremely hard to do.


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"Well," The tall brunette said, taking in the small apartment. "I suppose you want first dibs on the beds?"

Cloud surveyed the room. Something was /not/ right. Things were going well. Far too well. If he stepped inside the room, the ceiling might just fall right in on him.

Kail brushed past him, entering the small room. It was tiny, probably unable to fit two people to begin with, but it was an upgrade. Cloud had made it from the large barracks of the recruits and to a small, two person apartment. He was owned by Shinra, now, and the thought, however pathetic it seemed, was completely glorious in his mind.

"All right, I suppose I'll take this one," his roommate, chosen only out of alphabetical convenience, let his large duffel bag fall to one of the small beds in the back room. The springs creaked under its weight, and the large man toppled down as well, the frame crying out in pain.

Things could /not/ go this well. He had made it one step further, now officially a member of Shinra. Granted, he still wasn't a SOLDIER, wasn't anywhere near that, but his goal was closer now than it ever had been. God, so much closer. What if he could ... what if he were to ...

"Hey, c'mon Cloud, get your stuff in here," Kail had apparently overlooked the blond's obvious anti-social tendencies, taking the position as the first person to call him by his first name since he left Nibleheim

Cloud complied, dragging his slightly smaller bag of belongings into the makeshift living room. A tiny kitchen lined the wall, only inches from the door that blocked off the bedroom. One small couch inhabited the room, a cheap imitation coffee table settled in front. Cloud walked past the kitchen counters, feeling the cool plastic with his free hand, and entered the bedroom.

It was, surprisingly, tiny. Kail was spread out on his bed, his indentation in the mattress more than apparent. A small folding screen was the only privacy the two beds had from each other, but it was nearly a thousand times better than row after row of bunk beds. Cloud moved to the right of the screen, a small one-person bed laid against the wall suddenly more inviting than it should have been.

The blond let himself sit, bouncing slightly on the worn springs. It would do. Of course it would do, /anything/ would do. He could actually use sheets. /Sheets!/ Maybe get a blanket that didn't itch, some pillows that weren't soaked in the sweat of so many anonymous soldiers, and ... oh god.

He had ... a lamp.

A /lamp!/ Sitting next to his bed, on the small nightstand ... god, a /nightstand./ He could actually live somewhat normal!

"Sure beats the barracks, huh?" Kail asked through the screen. Cloud continued to bounce softly, listening to the creaks beneath him.

"Yeah ... it does." Cloud looked over the room once more. An imitation painting on the wall, working electrical sockets, the door to the bathroom and-- "Oh my god," the blond couldn't help but speak, suddenly frozen in shock. Kail made a quizzical noise, and Cloud's eyes widened, his bouncing subsiding. "We have ... windows."

Kail began to laugh, and Cloud could hear the strain of his bed as the large man moved. Dear god, it was almost normal.

It didn't take him long to unpack, as he hadn't brought much in terms of belongings in the first place. Most were for his trek to Midgar anyway, once he had arrived at Shinra he hadn't had much use for his street clothes. When he was done, Cloud stood in triumph, overlooking his half of the room. Kail was busy in the other room, searching through the pantries and crying out over every discovery of food they had been denied before.

Things could actually start to work, Cloud realized, walking out of the room. He didn't have to worry about being kicked out of Shinra entirely, no matter what he still had a position to fall back to.

Kail murmured something from the floor, looking through the small rack of spices in the bottom of the cupboard. Something else amazing. He hadn't ended up staying with someone like Aiden (god, he had almost forgotten that he still had the chance of being forced to stay with him.)

Things were ... far too good. Cloud looked up to the ceiling once more, checking to make sure it had no faults, and wouldn't crash down upon him.

Something had to happen, things like this /never/ happened to him. The gods of fate had long ago designated him as their whipping boy, why would they suddenly give him so much?

With that thought, there was a sharp knock on their front door. Kail's head popped up, looking to it.

"I'll get it," Cloud said quietly. Kail nodded, returning to his exploration. It was probably President Shinra himself, here to revoke his promotion and kick him out personally. Or maybe Aiden, here to give him a good once over for having made it. Hell, maybe it was his mother, here to take him home and force him to--

"Good morning!" The face was only inches from his own, already in the room by the time Cloud had opened the door. The blond jumped back in shock, his arm going up to block instinctively.

"Gah! What are you doing here?!"

Zack looked down on him, grinning madly. "We're training today, remember?"

"What?!"

"Training, you know, that thing you do to get better?"

" ... What?!"

"I didn't have you pegged for the animated type, what's going on?"

"What are you doing?!"

Zack's grin remained strong as he pushed the boy aside, entering the apartment. Kail was kneeling on the floor, tall enough to see over the kitchen counters. His eyes were just as wide as Cloud's.

"How ... " Cloud looked outside briefly, somehow sure there was something there that could answer his questions. "How did you know I was here?"

Zack moved to the couch, sitting down on it quickly and flashing Kail a smile. He turned back to Cloud, stretching out. "Well it's not too hard to find the housing plans, there not entirely secret."

"But ... why ... " Cloud let the door close slowly, his eyes focused on the floor. Oh. Of course. Karma. That's right, things were going well, remember? He had to be reminded that things were still shit.

"So are you settled in yet?" Zack asked. Cloud remained silent.

"Uh, aren't you ... " Kail stood up slowly, eyeing the two men suspiciously. "Aren't you Zack?" The black haired soldier turned to Kail, nodding. His gaze went to Cloud quickly. "You know him?"

Cloud sighed, letting his head fall back slightly. God.

"'Course he does." Zack said, his boots on the table. "We go way back, don't we?"

"No." Cloud said flatly.

"Oh, he's so modest."

"I don't know you."

"Oh come on, Cloud, don't play hard to get."

"I've never seen you before in my life."

"Well now you're just trying to irritate me, aren't you?"

"We've never even spoken."

"Oh, what an ass." Zack's grin was as strong as ever, and Cloud knew there was no possible way to win.

Kail stood still, still in mild shock. "So you ... do know him?"

Cloud finally groaned, putting a hand to his head. "Why are you here?"

Zack's grin faded slightly. Slightly. "I said I was going to help you, remember? Of course I already have a bit, but you can make that up to me by training the next couple of weeks."

Annoyance began to take him over, the words he wasn't able to get out from their first meeting finally surfacing. "Why are you so interested in helping me?" Cloud's voice was almost loud, and he began to realize that he was ruining his silent appearance.

Zack scowled, apparently the only other emotion he could portray. "Can't I just be a nice guy? What's so strange about that?"

Cloud sighed again, all his enthusiasm over the promotion gone. "Nothing ... it's just ... "

"Oh, here we go," Zack sat up, his feet falling to the ground. "Back to the distant answers?"

"No!" Cloud's arms dropped to his side, his eyes closed in exasperation. "I just want to-- w-what? 'Distant answers?'"

"Trailing off, watching the floor, sighing audibly every other sentence, you know, anything to establish how put out you are having to talk to someone."

"Put out?" Cloud repeated, suddenly unable to control the anger that began to rise within him. He could still see Kail from the corner of his eye, watching the two men in wonder. "Why the hell do you think you know me so well? You don't know shit! Why do you act like you're so interested in helping me?"

"Anger, eh?" Zack put a hand to his chin, feigning deep thought. "Good, then my strategy will work."

The blond stood, an unintentional sneer on his face as he watched the other man. His eyes began to narrow as his hand moved to his forehead. Other people's ignorance is fully transferable into physical pain. "What are you talking about?!"

The SOLDIER broke into a grin once more. Cloud shook his head, his eyes wide with irritation. Zack laughed slightly.

"C'mon," He said, standing. Cloud continued to watch, all prior notions of professional conduct with superior officers completely absent from his mind. "Let's just get going, we can still argue if you want, but I'd rather get moving while we're at it."

"W-what?" Cloud backed away from the approaching figure, recalling their first encounter, and the dark bruise he still had on his back. Zack smiled, raising his hands to show his innocence.

"We're just going down the block for a little training. And if you want to try and get out of it, that's fine, but I'll remind you that it's a /fucking order,/ and you have to comply."

Cloud opened his mouth to speak, shutting it quickly. He was defeated, plain and simple. "Fine," He said, adverting his eyes to the door. "I'll go, but--"

"Well great!" Zack grinned, towering over the small blond. "Go get changed, I'll just wait here."

The blond turned, unwilling to argue further, and made his way into the back room. Kail followed, shutting the door behind them. Cloud turned, looking to his roommate.

" ... You know Zack?" He asked, his eyes darting suspiciously from the blond and back to the door. Cloud sighed, scratching his head. At least it wasn't the ceiling.


--------------------------------


How long had it been? Cloud looked behind him, the door to his apartment still quite visible. God. A matter of seconds and they had already ripped into each other.

"I don't care /how/ big of a shit you're going to be to me," Zack said, his pace nearly unmatchable to the young blond straggling behind. "We're doing this."

"Why?" Cloud repeated his question, the only real one he had.

"/Because!/"

"You're some sick pedophile, aren't you?"

Zack turned, looking down on the boy. For reasons the blond couldn't quite comprehend, he looked back. "I bet I'm a whole three years older than you, aren't I?"

"You're still sick."

"Jesus," Zack turned again, resuming his walk. "You know I've had more rewarding relationships than this."

"Yeah? So have I, with the--" Cloud nearly stuttered, suddenly aware of what he was about to say. The what? The man that beat him when he was a child? That was casual conversation, no doubt.

"The what?" Zack asked, his interest partially detached, only arguing with half his self.

" ... Nothing, I don't know."

"Right, of course, you were going to say something that might shine some sort of light on why you act like you do."

"What?" Cloud stopped, looking to the other man's back with as much distaste as he could muster. Zack turned, already expecting such a reaction. "Why do you think you know me so well?"

"Because I'm fairly sure I do." He replied casually. "Are you saying that it's not true?"

Cloud's gaze fell slowly to the floor. Of course it was true. But was there any way on god's green earth he was going to let that asshole of a soldier know it? "No. It's not."

The trek continued, Zack leading him through the many corridors of the building. The two were silent for most of the journey, leaving Cloud with much time to think. Of course he had figured it out. Zack had said it himself, anyway. He had already helped him. There was no way Cloud could have made it past the prelims, he wasn't about to go delude himself on fantasies of grandeur. So how had he made it? Cloud pressed his eyes closed, his teeth grating inside his mouth. Zack. He had done it. He had ... he had fucking done it.

The two men continued to walk, stopping only when they reached a quiet hallway on a bottom floor. Cloud looked to the other man, both waiting silently for the door clearance to pass. He was smiling. Fucking ... smiling.

Cloud felt as he snapped, unable to contain his questions any longer. "Why are you always so fucking happy?!"

Zack stared ahead, his expression constant.

"Why do you think you're doing such a good deed trying to help me?! What are you getting out of this?! Why do you think you know me so well?!"

The black haired soldier shrugged slightly as the door opened, stepping inside. "Because I am, nothing, and because I do."

Cloud's eyes narrowed, his anger too strong to even sort the answers given to the correct question. "Why?! Give me a straight answer! Why do you want to help me so badly?"

Zack turned suddenly, looking down into Cloud's eyes. The blond felt as his words fell, straightening his stance under the gaze. "Because, Cloud, you need it." He flashed a short smile, turning once again and walking into a slightly larger corridor.

"So you found some poor, helpless child that you felt some sort of 'unspoken kinship' with, then decided that 'hey, maybe I should mess with him and let him into Shinra even though he doesn't deserve it, and then mess around with him as much as I can to see what I can figure out about him,' and then stand there and fucking /smile/ the whole time while you watched how far you could push him?!"

"Oh, so now /you/ know what /I'm/ like?" Zack asked with a sly grin, turning to face him.

"Fucking--God! Do you /have/ to be such a jackass?"

"Do /you/ have to be such a jackass?"

"Why did you tell them to let me into Shinra?"

"Didn't you want to be let in?"

"Wha--Jus--Are you /trying/ to make me mad?"

"Are /you?/"

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Why are you?"

"Look, just-- why do you have to make things so difficult?!"

"Why do /you/ have to make things so difficult?"

"Ju--W--Why are you so annoying?!"

"Why are /you?/"

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"That!"

"What?"

"Quit it!"

"Quit what?"

"/Stop it!/"

It took a moment to register, and when it did, Cloud felt his entire stomach fell through the floor. His arm was stiff, pins pricking into his skin, his entire arm ablaze. It felt as though he had hit a plate of metal, the vibrations 2resonating in his bones. Shit. Had he just ... /hit/ him?

"Oh shit." Cloud pulled his hand back, his knuckles throbbing. Zack stood still, his own hand covering the side of his jaw, almost directly below his ear.

"Did you just hit me?"

"I--I ... oh, my god, I--" Cloud tried to stretch his fingers out, realizing suddenly that the pain in his own hand probably outweighed the pain he had dealt the other man.

"Did you just /hit/ me?"

"No! I mean," Cloud's eyes went wide as Zack stared down to him, a slight red mark on his cheek the only evidence that he had even touched him. "I mean yes, but--"

"You little /shit!/"

"W-What?!"

His breath was gone, knocked out of him completely as he hit the hard tile floor, nearly two hundred pounds of sheer muscle suddenly driving him into the ground.

"You should know not to hit a SOLDIER first class!" Zack yelled, grabbing Cloud by the collar and shaking the lesson into him.

"I--did--nnt--hi--tt--"

"The hell you didn't!"

"Your--rr--a--fuu--ckk--"

"A fuck? What? Are you going to keep talking even after your head's come off?" Zack gave him a stronger jolt.

"ckking--ass--hole--!" Cloud brought his head to his chest in an attempt to save his neck from the shakes, his hands flying to the other man's as his rage suddenly swelled up inside him. His fingers, even the near broken ones, dug into the other man's flesh, ripping them away from his collar. He thought he heard Zack say something, but his own low growl drowned it out.

Cloud felt a moments opening, Zack's weight suddenly lifting for a split second, and the blond brought one leg beneath him, pushing himself up with a burst of power.

The two men sat on the floor, locked in struggle for superiority. "You think you can overpower me?" Zack asked, their faces only inches from each other. Cloud's eyes were pure hate as he stared back, the only answer the other man needed. "I'd like to see you /try./"

The blond's sneer intensified as Zack smiled smugly. A simple nudge could have sent Cloud toppling, he was barely trying.

"God--damn--it!" Cloud continued to struggle, his legs digging into the floor as he pushed up and against the other man. He had to win, somehow he had to pin him. Pin the elite soldier that weighed a good hundred pounds more, bring down the giant sack of muscle and adrenalin that did nothing but /smile/ against all the adversity in the world. "/god/--/damn/--/it!/"

"Training?" A voice suddenly asked from behind Cloud. Zack's breath caught slightly, and Cloud gave a final push, the other man suddenly toppling back and onto the floor. Cloud quickly climbed on top, his hands pinning Zack's to the ground, glaring down into his eyes with incalculable rage. Zack's eyes were suddenly different, looking past him with amusement. The hallway fell silent and time seemed to slow.

Something wasn't right, and Cloud felt as his insides slowly began to dissolve, the feeling of another presence nearby sending a small shiver through him. The voice, Cloud realized, was so familiar ... fluid and deep and ... not ... good ... at ... all.

"Sephiroth?" Zack asked, breaking into another grin. Cloud froze.

"So this is the big training assignment you said you had to do?"

The black haired soldier laughed slightly, hardly even winded by the previous fight. "Of course. Being straddled in the hallway by some cute young blond; best kind of training there is."

Cloud's entire body was numb. He couldn't turn, couldn't see what /couldn't/ be real. Sephiroth ... he wasn't real, he wasn't there, there was no way he could ...

"Well when you're done-- "

"Right, right, I know, I know."

The sound of footsteps prevailed in Cloud's mind, the noise of moving fabric, a slight swish of hair ... Jesus Christ he was /not/ real!

"Seh ... " The blond began to turn his head, the world still moving slower than it ever had before. A small hint of a dark jacket, something silver-- Oh shit, it /was/ him.

Cloud turned back, unable to look any further. Zack must have noticed the emotion, although, Cloud realized, how anyone could have missed it was the real question. "You uh, okay?" he asked, pushing himself up into a slight sitting position. Cloud's eyes were giant, staring at Zack in something quite akin to absolute terror.

"Seph ... "

"What's ... wrong?"

"Seph ... ?"

Zack lifted an eyebrow. " ...iroth?"

"That was ... "

"Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth?"

"Yeah ... "

" ... Sephiroth?"

"/Yeah./"

"Oh /shit./" Cloud put a hand to his head, suddenly very, very sick.

"Hey--hey, what's wrong? Dude, don't--hey, kid c'mon, if you're going to be sick you're going to get off me /right now./"

Cloud only groaned in response, his entire head spinning. Zack moved from under him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Cloud?"

" ... shit."

"Hey--Cloud, c'mon, what's going on, are you okay?"

The blond closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as hard as he could, trying to drown out the ringing in his ears as the world around him faded. His forehead hit something soft, the material of Zack's shirt recognizable even in the darkness. He called his name once more, but Cloud let himself go, unable to hold on to his own consciousness.


--------------------------------


" ... Probably overworked himself. We were fighting, and we stopped so abruptly, he must have just gone light-headed."

Kail nodded, although Zack wasn't entirely sure the large man understood anything that had happened since he had come to the apartment, the tiny blond draped over his shoulder.

"So just, you know, make sure he eats when he wakes up, or something," Zack ran a hand through his hair as he realized he didn't quite know how to treat such black-outs.

Kail nodded again, still watching the other man in amazement. He hadn't heard a word he had said.

"Right, well," Zack looked around the room, able to see a small hint of Cloud's sleeping figure through the only other door in the room. He wasn't going to make it a point to stay and chew the fat with a man like Kail, if such things were possible, and so he grinned once more, reaching for the door. "Just let him sleep for a bit, and tell him I'll come back tomorrow."

The other man make a brief grunt of acknowledgement, and Zack stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind him.

Great. Zack began his trudge down the hallway, hoping to somehow be distracted along his journey, anything to give him time to be alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not about Cloud. And Zack, having already filled his friend in on all the details, knew that Sephiroth would ask.

He had seen hundreds of kids like Cloud. Well, not /like/ Cloud, there were few who were like him in any sense of the meaning, but the idol worship? Zack nearly laughed to himself, suddenly wondering if he was jealous that his friend had such a following.

Still, there were so many who had joined Shinra for that very reason. Anything to become like him, the living legend that was Sephiroth ... and there were still others, those who not only wanted to be like him, but wanted ... well, something much more. Zack closed his eyes, pressing the elevator call button softly.

Sickening thoughts began to rise in his mind, and the black haired soldier held his eyes shut, trying to cancel them out as best he could. Guilt of some kind, a small sense of awkwardness ... it wasn't good, and Zack didn't want to think about it.

And now, just more to dig out, more to try and reach within the small blond recruit. He was /just/ like Sephiroth, in so many ways. And that thought alone was reason enough for the SOLDIER to let his head fall to the cool metal doors, listening to the light hum of the elevator moving to his floor. He did not want another one. God help him, he did /not/ want another one.

He would find out, eventually, all that there was to know about Cloud. He had to, he had to somehow help him, somehow get him to open up. He didn't have the outlets that Sephiroth had, he had no way to release everything he held inside. Getting him to strike him, /that/ had been sheer Zack-brilliance.

But there was still so much more, not just the emotions, but everything else he kept to himself. Zack sighed as the elevator doors opened, an empty car somewhat comforting. God, there were almost too many questions, and Zack knew he wouldn't like any of the answers.


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