Remembering Matthew…and Morgan
I sat staring at my reflection in the mirror on my vanity. I had already tried four different styles on my hair, none of which seemed to look right. I was more nervous about having supper with the Blythe's than I had been the whole time I awaited my very first glimpse of Green Gables. What if they don't like me, I found myself thinking over and over again. There would be almost nothing worse than knowing that my in-laws-to-be thought me horrid and despised me the rest of my life. Diana kept telling me I was overreacting as she impatiently sat on my bed. She had come over earlier that day to help me get ready for my evening but so far I hadn't let her touch a blessed thing. Finally, rather than wait for permission from me she flew off the bed and flung open the door to my closet and frantically searched through it for something for me to wear.
"Anne, really, you must calm down," she declared as she took a dress from the closet and held it up into the light to further inspect it. After giving it a quick glance over she stuffed it back into the closet and began rustling through the clothes again. "They will adore you, Anne. Everyone always does."
"That isn't the point, Diana. I don't want them to adore me because I'm going to be their daughter-in-law; I want them to love me for me." I sighed heavily at the thought of actually having someone that I could Mother and Father, if they would allow it.
"Well then calm down and start acting like the silly, sometimes impetuous girl that I know and love." Diana took out a skirt that I often wore to tea when at her house and looked it over.
"Diana, I'm not that girl anymore. My head isn't in the clouds like it used to be." At the comment Diana turned and looked at me through the mirror, her eyes giving me a 'sure you're not' glare. "Alright, my head isn't in the clouds as often as it used to be," I corrected. "Is that better?"
"I'm still not sure it's the complete truth," she laughed. "But I suppose I will let it slide this time." She turned her attention back to the closet and I picked up my straight pins, trying once again to coax my hair into an acceptable coiffure. When I was finished I decided that it was as good as it was going to look and turned my own attention to what Diana had been doing in the past several minutes.
"I think you should wear this," Diana said pulling a navy blue skirt from my closet. She then pulled out a floral top to match it. "You absolutely look radiant in this outfit yet I hardly ever see you wear it."
"Matthew bought that for me, a few weeks before he passed. It was the last bit of clothing he bought for me. I never truly felt comfortable in it, but I think it is a good choice for tonight; a perfect outfit for a perfect new beginning."
I quickly got myself ready and Diana looked me over again for good measure. "Well darling," she said as she kissed my cheek. "Have a wonderful evening and don't be too nervous."
"You aren't going to stay and see me off Diana?" I asked, almost in shock.
"I wish I could Anne," she replied. "But the baby…" She didn't finish her sentence, and she didn't have to. I knew that baby Fred needed her more than I did. I kissed her cheek back and let her walk out of my small room, the door squeaking as she exited.
I flopped myself down on my bed, ready almost twenty minutes before Gilbert was supposed to pick me up. I rested my head on the pillow that was propped up behind me and stared down at the ring that now ornamented my finger. Although diamonds were not my favorite jewel, I knew that the societal suitability of a diamond engagement ring was important to Gilbert. I knew that he must have gone to great lengths to find such an exquisite piece of jewelry and therefore I already had sentimental attachments to it. In a way, Gil sort of gave me a second diamond sunburst; he informed me after our talk on the bridge that ironically the cut of the diamond in my ring was known as a 'sunburst' cut. My mind drifted back to Kingsport as I sat, and somehow I began thinking of Morgan Harris. I was afraid of what Gilbert was going to say when I told him about Morgan later that night. I stood up from my bed and took my sweater out of my closet and headed downstairs to wait for Gilbert on the veranda.
He arrived promptly, as he always had when he was picking me up to study our courses for school years ago. He looked handsome as the late afternoon sun back lit his strong features. Gil put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me a little closer to himself.
"How was your day, Anne?" he asked politely as we drove down the path toward the Blythe residence. He rubbed my arm as if to warm it up some.
"Rather uneventful. I was anxious all day with anticipation of seeing you." He glanced down at me at my response and I nuzzled myself into his arm. We reached his house and I was so nervous that I couldn't stop talking.
"Don't worry so much," Gilbert tried to reassure me. "They will love you, almost as much as I do."
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"I told you they would love you," Gilbert said as we stood on his porch. We were about to leave for our carriage ride and we paused for just a second so that I could put my sweater on.
"Oh Gil," I said linking my arm through his. "I have never laughed so hard in all my life. I can't believe you spilled that whole bowl of potatoes on your shirt. I felt so terrible for you, and then your mother started laughing. Gilbert dear, I have never seen anything like that." I started giggling again the way I had at dinner. He turned and looked at me.
"Oh how I love the way you laugh, Anne Shirley," he declared, looking deep into my eyes. We continued to walk to the barn where the buggy was being kept. After hitching the horse to the carriage Gilbert helped me up before getting in next to me. We drove for a couple minutes in silence before he finally said anything.
"Why so quiet all of a sudden Anne? All through dinner you barely let anyone get a word in. You haven't said two words since we started driving." Gilbert looked somewhat distraught at my tranquility.
"Just trying to delay the inevitable I suppose," I responded softly.
"Ah yes, this Morgan Harris fellow. You were going to tell me about him this evening." I nodded slightly affirming that this talk was why I was silent. Gilbert didn't go on, awaiting my explanation of who Morgan Harris was and why everyone had been linking our names together since I'd been back in Avonlea.
"Gil, if I tell you, please promise me you won't interrupt; it will only make me nervous," I said meekly.
"You have my word."
"Alright then, Morgan Harris was the father of one of my pupils," I began, not really knowing where else to start. "He and I became acquainted under very odd circumstances and he was a crush of mine for a small amount of time. We met on a few occasions and his family invited me on a tour of Boston. One of the last times I saw him was at a benefit dance for the hospital. He asked me to marry him and I refused. It was that night that I realized how much he would never fill the shoes of the one man I measured everyone up to…you."
Gil was quiet for the next several minutes. Under the pale light of the moon I couldn't make out a clear expression of his face and I assumed that he was deep in thought over what I had just told him.
A/N: Alright, now it's up to you the readers for some input. I'm not sure how quickly you all want this to be moving along. There are two ways the next chapter can go and I'm not sure what you want to read about. I was thinking that I might recount the 'Gilbert-potatoes' story, but if you think it would be boring or too slow moving I can just skip it and go on with the plot. Let me know what you all think. Nell Lime, I hope this chapter kind of helps with my reasoning for making it a diamond instead of something else. Please review… I love them :o)
