Forgotten Daze
FF7 Fan Fiction
Chapter 8
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Cloud jogged slightly to catch up with Zack along the road. He had only paused for a moment, deciding to rest on the nearby fence overlooking the pastures. Zack looked over one shoulder as he approached from the side. "You know, I haven't done anything since we've gotten here," he said as he approached, "except fill out some papers you were too lazy to do yourself."
Zack smiled and turned back to the road. "Easy job, isn't it? Just stand there and be cute."
The blond soldier sighed inwardly, falling into line beside his friend. They hadn't seen hide nor tail of their supposed fellow Shinra nut since they arrived in Antei, but plans were apparently "under way," and until then, they were stuck on guard duty.
Zack kept a rigorous pace on his rounds, but Cloud had kept up regardless, forcing himself to work as hard as he could in order to reap the benefits of the training.
Alleged reaping was, he assumed, going to have to come eventually.
A small outcropping of homes appeared at the bottom of the hill, their dirt road trek finally leading them back to what some would consider civilization.
A short distance in front of them, a young boy ran past, disappearing behind one house. Children's voices could be heard. A few were laughing, but one rose above them all, and seemed to be yelling.
Zack's interested seemed piqued, and Cloud grudgingly followed him further up the road, to where he could see between the houses.
"Hey, Cloud," Zack said, nudging his friend as he reached his side again. Off to the side of the road, a group of young boys had formed a small circle, locking in what appeared to be another, decidedly smaller, boy cowering on the ground. The larger boys looked between themselves and back to their pray, who, through a slit between his adversaries, looked to Cloud and Zack to be doing his best to look serious, and hold back tears. "Doesn't this remind you of something?" he asked.
Cloud examined the scene. "A bunch of kids picking on the smallest one?"
"Yeah. Isn't this how we met?"
The blond scowled. "You're making it a point this week to pick on me, aren't you?"
Zack flashed his quick, infectious smile, and returned his attention to the children. It had happened once, Cloud thought, it would happen again. The SOLDIER left his side.
"Well now," Zack said, approaching the circle. The boys looked to him with obvious annoyance, but judged his size accurately, and let him have their attention. "What do you all think you're doing?" He asked, looking around the circle.
The boy in the middle stood at once, one arm quickly wiping his face as he looked to Zack with feigned anger. Cloud watched from behind, looking the boy over carefully. As if he hadn't seen that attitude somewhere before.
"Nothing," one of the older kids answered, appearing unfazed by Zack's stature.
"Nothing that involves /you,/" another boy echoed.
The young boy in the center remained silent, his eyes purposely diverted from Zack. He continued to sniffle, and occasionally wiped the minute amount of blood from his cut lip. Cloud was almost embarrassed. Was this how he looked?
Zack chuckled softly, shaking his head. "There's something you should know about me," he started, still smiling. "See, I have this code about not picking on someone smaller and weaker than yourself."
One of the kids scoffed. "Mind your own business, then."
"I can assume this boy did something so terrible as to deserve to be grossly outnumbered by adversaries?"
"He /said/ mind your own business," one spat.
"Maybe you don't understand," Zack continued, "How would you like it if /I/ took you on?"
There was a brief silence as the idea passed through the group, but one boy's laugh snapped them out of it.
"I'm sure it would look good for an adult to beat up a kid," one said. "Besides, wouldn't it be 'against your code'?"
Zack's smile was peaked. "Another thing you should know about me," he said, grabbing one boy by the collar of his shirt, sending the remaining boys into a collective gasp, "is that I never stick to a code."
The boys broke their circle at once, hesitating to scatter as they watched Zack's malevolent smile grow, and the smarmy, self-assured grin on their friend completely melt.
"What are you doing?!"
"He's going to kill him!"
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Zack had the boy from the center's attention now, his attempt to save his pride completely forgotten as he watched Zack threaten his enemies.
"See, I could break you in two if I wanted," Zack said, seeming to gain immense satisfaction out of the color of the boy's face. "But, according to what some consider to be set social rules, a man of my age, my strength, and my position, pulling you apart wouldn't go over well."
Half of the boys had fled, but the remaining watched Zack with intense fear. Their former pray continued to watch with wide eyes.
Cloud grumbled to himself as he realized he had to help. Reluctantly, he walked past his friend and to where the circle once was, flashing a simple glance to his remaining foes. They left in an instant.
"O-Okay--I--"
"I'm not done," Zack said, giving his captured a quick jostle. "Now, see how bad you feel knowing that I'm going to kick your ass? You haven't got a chance. If I was one of your other brain dead lackeys, then you wouldn't be so terrified. You see the benefits of not picking on someone half your size? You don't bother them, and a giant, terrorizing SOLDIER won't decide to hurt you simply to prove a point."
"Oh god," Cloud muttered. The fomerly terrorized young boy looked up to him, his eyes still wide.
"Do you understand?" Zack asked, peering down at the boy he still held with only one hand.
"Y-Yeah,"
"Good," Zack said, setting him back on his feet. The boy wobbled backwards for a moment, watching his attacker in case of another strike. "Then get out of here, and make sure you and you friends don't ever do something so pathetic ever again."
The boy hesitated a moment before turning and running off. The SOLDIER turned to Cloud.
"'I never stick to a code.' You practice all of this ahead of time, don't you?" Cloud asked. Zack's grin was far from spent.
"It's my civic, Shinra duty, Spike."
Cloud shook his head.
" ... S-Shinra?" the young boy asked, his voice nearly muted. Both men turned to him, having forgotten of him in the pseudo battle. The boy stood off to the side, looking to them both in mild apprehension. "You're from ... Shinra?"
Zack smiled as he walked to Cloud's side, completing their elite soldier duo. "Sure are!"
The boy stood, slowly looking back and forth between them. " ... Why did you do that?"
"You looked a bit outnumbered."
"I was fine … " the boy looked to the ground.
"Then consider it something entirely out of your control," Zack said, frowning slightly. Cloud watched him sidelong. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he built up his speech. "None of us can say what would have happened, but I made the decision to step in. Therefore … it says nothing about your own ability, or your lack thereof. You have to take it as it is."
Zack glanced to Cloud, who turned away. The young boy looked up to him curiously, somewhat understanding his words, but also understanding that it wasn't entirely directed at him.
"Huh?"
The SOLDIER turned back, instantly remembering the boy. "Nothing. Just-- you okay?"
The boy stood silently for a moment more. " … Yeah, I think so." he looked between the soldiers as he slowly let his guard down. "If you're from Shinra … does that mean you're SOLDIERs?"
Zack laughed, kneeling down to the boy's level. "First class."
"You're the soldier's that came to help us?" he asked, his voice full of a sudden intensity. Zack nodded. The boy lit up.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Rainer!" The boy's smile continued to grow as he watched both men in awe.
"Well, where do you live, Rainer? We should get you home to your parents."
The boy smiled widely and began to lead the way, opening completely in the news of his savor's (or at least one of his savior's) position. He walked quickly, talking all the way, his previous personality all but forgotten.
"You think you could teach me to fight? If I'm stronger then I can fight for myself next time!" The boy's eyes were light and clear as he spoke, this time walking backwards so he could gauge his new idol's reactions.
"I don't know," Zack said, putting a hand to his chin. "What do you think Cloud? Do we have time to take on an apprentice?"
Cloud smiled slightly as the boy's expression continued to grow brighter. "Gee, I don't know Zack, I'd have to say that would be your decision."
"Well, do you know any moves?" Zack asked. Rainer continued his slightly awkward walk, trying both to avoid the rocks he couldn't see, and keep up with the much taller men, and shook his head.
"Your father never taught you any defensive moves?" the SOLDIER asked, somewhat surprised.
"Nah, my father moved out of Antei after I was born."
"Oh." Zack forced a smile at the boy's nonchalance. "I guess that means we get to work with a clean slate, then."
The boy stumbled slightly as he beamed and finally turned around once more, continuing to lead the two men to his home.
Cloud could tell from the second Rainer opened the door that it was a bad idea. His young mother sat in the small living room, a book in her hand, looking to the door in question. There was a set expression of serenity and kindness in her features, her long hair tied up messily in a fashion that, despite her best intentions, fitted her so perfectly that it only emphasized her best features, and she had the inexplicable nurturing charm that could be felt by merely watching her stand and smile.
And she was single. Cloud held in a nearly audible groan.
"Rainer? Who are these two?" his mother walked to her son, smiling at both strangers.
"They're SOLDIERs!" Rainer said, dropping his bag by the door as he ran to his mom's side. He looked back to them, grinning. "They helped me out just now."
His mother's expression fell slightly as she looked him over, noticing the slight dark spot under his nose, the boy having never bothered to wipe the excess blood. "Oh, Rainer, not the boys from school again."
"No, it's okay!" the boy exclaimed. "Zack made sure they won't bother me again."
Cloud rolled his eyes. "You're such a hero," he muttered.
"And you're such an embittered little man," Zack replied under his breath, holding his smile for the family.
"Thank you," his mother said sweetly, smiling to Zack. "Maybe you two would like to stay for dinner? As a token of thanks. It's just about ready."
"Ah, we'd be honored!" Zack said, entering the house and rapidly approaching her side.
Cloud watched the scene, his worst fears suddenly true. Rainer looked back to him, motioning him to enter as well with a large, carefree smile. Cloud did his best to share his feelings, and walked after them.
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Cloud fell onto the couch, his expression dark. Zack continued to laugh madly, the young boy by his side. It was almost hard to tell them apart.
"Aw, don't be mad, Spike," he said through a massive grin, looking up to Cloud.
Rainer smiled as well. "Yeah, don't be mad, Spike!"
"I'm sure there are lots of people who couldn't play charades to save their lives!"
Cloud glowered slightly, which only encouraged Rainer and Zack.
Rainer's mother walked into the living room, watching the group happily. "Come on Rainer, it's getting late. We can't have them walk all the way home in the dark."
Rainer looked to his mother with instantly wet eyes. "But we're not done playing!"
"Your mother's right," Zack said, standing. "We've got to get heading back soon."
The young boy pouted crossly, his eyes locked on the floor in defiance.
"Come on now, don't be like that," his mother reasoned softly. Rainer's sneer only grew.
"We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Zack said. Rainer looked to him, his anger gone.
"But I have school tomorrow!"
His mother sighed and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Rainer, I'm sure they would stay if they could, but its dangerous outside at night. You wouldn't want them to be hurt trying to get home, now, would you?"
The boy's eyes suddenly lit up. "Why don't you spend the night here, then? It would be okay, right?" he looked to his mother.
His mother sighed, smiling slightly. "Rainer..."
"No, we wouldn't want to intrude like that," Zack said.
"But it's okay, right?" He looked desperately between the SOLDIER and his mother.
"Of course it would be, but maybe they want to go back to their /own/ rooms."
"No!" Rainer looked to Cloud, his anger returning. "Don't you want to stay here?"
The blond was flustered as they all turned to him, the decision suddenly on his shoulders. "Oh, well … we would, but--"
"So you /will!/"
"No, I--"
"Rainer," Zack stepped forward, pulling Cloud out of the spotlight. "We will just this once, but only because it's gotten so late out. Who knows, maybe this'll save us, we wouldn't want to run into any certain people in the dark."
Rainer smiled. "Good! Okay! You can stay in the guest room down the hall!" the boy took off, expecting the two to follow. His mother smiled.
"Thank you."
Zack returned it. Cloud glared and pulled his friend down the hall.
"I hope you know that we've been invited to stay with /Rainer./ /Not/ his mother," he said once they were out of earshot.
Zack sighed. "I know, I know. Fate's cruel that way."
Cloud brought a hand to his forehead. "The world might end if I ever found someone you weren't attracted to."
Zack laughed and slapped him playfully on the back, pushing him down the hall.
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Rainer opened the door, smiling. "There are blankets in the closet! My room's right down the hall so if you need anything you know where to find me!"
The boy continued to beam even as he made his way down the hall, leaving the two men standing in the doorway.
"Uh," Cloud stuck his head through the door, surveying the room. "I call the ... um, bed."
Zack stepped through the threshold, one hand scratching his head. "Do they actually except someone to be able to fit on that loveseat?"
Cloud made his way to the bed, testing the springs as he bounced slightly. "There's always the couch in the living room," he said, "but you'd have to share it with the dog."
The SOLDIER walked to Cloud's side. "This isn't going to work."
The blond looked up to him.
"I get the bed."
"I already called it."
"You're the only one of us that could possibly fit on the loveseat!" Zack cried, pointing to the worn in, yellowed couch.
Cloud frowned. "Just because you were to slow to call anything better doesn't mean--"
"I will /beat/ you off if I have to," Zack threatened, reaching for an arm.
"You can't always have it your way just because you're stronger than me!" Cloud said, struggling as he was pulled to his feet.
"Watch me!" Zack said, easily overpowering the blond. Cloud tripped over one foot as Zack pushed him away from the bed, landing on the floor with little grace.
"What about all this 'never pick on those who are weaker' business?" Cloud asked from the floor.
Zack scowled. "How many times do I have to tell you--"
"And why am I always the exception to every rule you have?"
"Look--"
"I'm not sleeping on the loveseat! Or the floor! Or anywhere other than the bed that /I/ already claimed!"
"You can't claim a bed, Cloud."
"Then why should you get it, while I don't?"
"Because I'm your superior officer, that's why!"
"Why are you only my superior officer when you want something?"
Zack turned down the bed, frowning. "Fine, if you're going to complain so much, then you can just sleep facing the other way."
Cloud looked down at the bed. "You'll take up the whole thing."
"Do you want to sleep on it or not?!"
"Fine!" Cloud grabbed one end of the blanket.
"Fine!" Zack echoed, meeting the blond's glare.
Cloud forced himself into the small space, pulling a shared blanket that refused to move. Zack growled from the other end, determined to hold on to the small territory.
"You can't make anything easy, can you?" Cloud mumbled, giving up the futile effort.
"You can't do anything without making some kind of remark, can you?"
Cloud sneered, wrapping his arms around his chest to keep warm. "I don't know why it's so hard anyway, you should be used to sharing a bed with someone by now."
Zack sat up, the comment obviously irking him. "Why are you so hung up on the Rainer's mother thing?"
"I'm not!" he sat up as well. "I just want part of the damn blanket!" the blond tried to pull the corner further, but it remained steadfast.
"Should I start using /your/ personal information to try and weasel myself another few inches of blanket?"
Cloud laid down once more, turned away from Zack. "I don't remember ever saying I wanted to share a blanket with you in the first place."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Zack said, far too loudly, "I forgot I'm not /Sephiroth./"
Cloud aimed one foot in the direction from which the voice came. He kicked madly into the empty air before it was caught.
"Oh like you wouldn't like it," Zack joked, tossing his foot off one side of the bed. With no outlet for physical violence, Cloud growled and tucked his legs under him.
"You're such a bastard," he said, lowering his voice in hopes that Zack would follow his lead. It was a terribly small house.
"What?" Zack asked, his voice still loud. "You can seemingly make it your duty to give me the business on what you consider to be my slight promiscuity, but if I so much as bring up a--"
"Zack!" Cloud hissed, sitting up. If the entire house couldn't hear them, it would be a miracle. Zack sat up as well, all the more determined to finish his speech.
"--So much as bring up a /crush/--"
"/Zack./"
"--bring up a /crush/ you have on--"
"I will /kill/ you."
"--you have on /Sephiroth/--"
"/Zack!/"
"--and suddenly that's /bad?!/"
"Arrgh!" Cloud made a mad dive for his friends throat, and was instantly thrown aside. Zack scowled at the pathetic attempt, sending Cloud further into his rage. He snatched a pillow from behind the SOLDIER and brought it to his face, doing his best to smother the villain into oblivion.
Without so much as a flinch, Zack pushed him away, taking the pillow from his hands and placing it back into its rightful position. "I'll ignore that little attempt for now, Strife. But you mess up my bedding once more and I'll have to file it along with all your other little endeavors since we've gotten here."
"I just want a blanket!" Cloud yelled. Zack watched him with a smile. Cloud scowled. "Damn you and your high spirits."
"Fine, take it," Zack spread the blanket out further, allowing Cloud to take as much as he needed. He sighed as the blond's anger remained. "All right, I'm sorry for using Sephiroth against you."
Cloud flashed a quick glare over one shoulder as he set up his pillow. He turned away again. "I'm sorry for bringing up the fact that you want to go to bed with every person you meet."
Zack pulled the blanket back, exposing Cloud. The blond snarled and grabbed his end, the resulting tug-of-war resulting in Zack's laughter, and Cloud's enduring anger.
"You've really got to lighten up," Zack said, letting the blanket go.
The blond glowered for a moment, gathering up his side of the blanket. Zack was suddenly quiet, but Cloud ignored it as best he could, fixing his pillow once more.
"Hey, Cloud," Zack's voice had lost it's intensity slightly, and Cloud was forced to look to him, his tone slightly unsettling. Zack's expression had fallen, it was suddenly soft, almost serious. It was a rare emotion, Cloud knew, and his attention was peaked in an instant. "About Sephiroth ... Really, you're still ... you still ... "
Cloud cocked his head slightly. "I still?"
The SOLDIER smiled briefly, an attempt to show him that it was still all in good humor. Cloud knew better. "I mean, you still, you know, have a thing for him?"
The blond locked around the room slowly in realization of how awkward the situation had become, but there was no way out. His gaze returned to Zack, who sat in silence, waiting for an answer. Cloud knew he had to speak.
"Well, aren't you the one who said that ... that every soldier that comes here loves him in some way?"
Zack sighed, but appeared as though the answer wasn't at all what he wanted. "Yeah, and it's true, but ... you know what I mean."
Cloud eyed his friend suspiciously, but Zack kept his gaze diverted. "Why do you want to know?"
The dark haired soldier turned on him instantly. "Can't I just want to know?!"
"Okay!" Cloud held up his hands in defense before letting them drop, realizing he had to answer the question. "Well, I mean ... you know ... maybe a little, but--"
"No," Zack said, a smile surfacing again. "you don't have to explain it." Cloud looked to him again, but his expression quickly dropped back into seriousness, and Cloud shifted uncomfortably, working up the nerve to speak once more. "It's just," Zack started again, "I don't know ... I just ... I think it's really ... dumb."
He met Cloud's gaze this time, waiting for a reaction.
"Dumb?"
"Yeah."
"Excuse me?" Cloud couldn't help the sudden anger that began to rise. It was enough to be forced to talk about something he was embarrassed to even /think/ about, but all this time Zack had acted as though he were the only one who understood, and that he was the one person he could talk to about it, and now he was being /criticized/ for it?
"You don't know what he's really like." Zack said flatly. Cloud was sure his expression spoke for itself, but his friend ignored it and continued to speak. "Everyone thinks he's some god, like they'd be blessed just to have him speak to them."
The young recruit sat in a mild stupor. Was he being /reprimanded?/
Zack only continued his markedly out of character speech. "He's not ... he's not what you want him to be."
"Zack--"
"No, listen. I know how you feel, I know what you've built him up to be, I really do understand that, but it's not him. If it were anyone else I'd be happy to support you and do whatever I could for you, but I know Sephiroth, I know what he's like, and I know that what you think he's like couldn't possibly be the true him."
The small room was quiet for a moment while Zack waited for a response. Cloud sighed, rustling his spikes with one hand. "Zack," he said, mimicking his friend's somber tone, "you think I don't understand that?"
The SOLDIER watched him intently, the subject seeming to hold some importance to him.
Almost unconsciously, Cloud laughed. "If you think that ... that I expect something ... It's not as if I don't know what my reality is. You have to know me better than to think I'd ... I'd /pursue/ him. I mean, you don't have to warn me about the consequences ... of a crush, because it's just that."
Zack hugged his knees to his chest, letting his chin rest on top. " ... I'm sorry. I just ... I've seen it a lot. I don't ... I don't think you deserve to be hurt."
There was another silence. Cloud shifted slightly, examining his friend. "What the hell is up with you and your mood swings?"
Zack growled and pulled the blankets up, lying down on his side, away from Cloud. "Fine. See if I ever try to help you again."
Cloud pulled his ends of the blankets from Zack, turning opposite him as well. "See if I ever ... leave Midgar with you again."
He thought he could hear Zack laugh quietly into his pillow. "Ouch."
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Cloud slumped down on the couch, rubbing one eye. Rainer bounced around the room, talking almost as fast as he moved. Even /with/ sleep it was hard to function at dawn, Cloud thought, it was only harder with an insane SOLDIER and his schedule, and nearly impossible when he was matched up with another hyperactive child.
The young boy jumped onto the couch suddenly, leaning on the arm and gazing up to Cloud with a wide grin. "What's it like in Midgar?" he asked.
"Well, uh," Cloud fumbled for a moment, looking around the room for support from Zack. The SOLDIER stood a few feet off, the same look of inquiry on his face as on the child. The blond scowled quickly, before turning back to the boy. "Well, I've only been there a few months, actually, so I haven't had much time to go out in the city--"
"Is it bigger than Antei?"
Cloud stammered for a moment, his speech interrupted. "Ah, it's, it's a lot bigger. In fact--"
"What about all the people there? We know everyone that lives here, I heard in towns like Midgar there are so many people you couldn't possibly even meet them all!" the boy's eyes were wide as he spoke.
"Well, no. I mean, yeah, there are a lot of people there--"
"What about girls? Are there a lot there?"
"Yes, there are just as many girls there as there are--"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uh, well," Cloud looked to Zack once more, his desperation growing along with the SOLDIER's massive grin.
"Cloud's a little too ... /busy/ for a relationship," Zack said, walking up to the boy.
Rainer gave him a short look of question, but sensed his breakfast, and took off with a jolt. Zack smiled after him and sat down in his spot, next to Cloud.
"Isn't it remarkable?" he said softly.
"What?"
"Rainer."
Cloud watched the boy down his breakfast, his energy building all the time. "What about him?"
"You don't see any resemblance?"
The blond closed his eyes. "I don't think I'm that lively."
Although he couldn't see it, Cloud was sure Zack's massive grin was as full as ever. "The similarities between you two when confronted are more than obvious," he began, deepening his voice to sound more professional. "One would say he could be your … /foil./"
"So Zack's taken a literary class, I'll admit I'm impressed."
"That meaning," he continued, ignoring the blond, "not just that the two of you are similar because of these actions, but more importantly, that you are /different./ Rainer chooses to be happy after the incident, while you choose to remain downtrodden, introspective, and without a sliver of self-worth or respect to be seen, yet still unwilling to lose your pride. Judging from the uncanny similarities, both conclusions can be reached from these self-deprecating actions with others. In the end, how you act must then be an entirely conscious decision. Learn well from this motif, Spike, learn well."
Cloud glared.
"Do you two want anything to eat?" Rainer's mother asked, standing next to her son. Zack quickly broke into a smile, standing as he was addressed. Cloud turned his head, gagging mentally.
"No, thank you."
"Did you both sleep well?" She asked.
"We slept … as well as we could," Cloud answered, forcing himself not to look at Zack.
"That's good. I hope the foldout wasn't too much trouble to open."
Cloud's expression darkened.
"It was fine," Zack said. She smiled at them both and returned to the kitchen.
"Something in this world hates me," Cloud mumbled. Zack sighed.
Rainer began to get ready for school, his energy only increasing. His mother stood near them, watching her son's cheerfulness with her own contentment.
"Are you sure I can't get you anything?" She asked. Zack looked up to her, smiling.
"No, we really need to be heading out, anyway. We are on duty, you know."
"Of course. Thank you for all you've done, you're welcome back here any time."
Cloud stood and walked to the door, too disgusted to watch Zack any longer.
"I'll come by the farm you're staying at tomorrow!" Rainer said loudly.
Zack laughed. "All right, we'll be waiting."
Both Rainer and his mother saw them off at the door, the latter of the two seeming completely ignorant to Zack's more than obvious intentions. Cloud stood off to the side, attempting to listen to Rainer, who continually tugged the bottom of his shirt, while most of his attention fell on Zack, creating an unconscious scowl that Rainer tried to decipher.
"We'll be here a few weeks, more than likely," Zack said.
"Well we'd love to have you back again."
"Oh, well I--"
"Zack." Cloud stepped away from the boy. Zack turned to him, and back to Rainer's mother.
"We've gotta get going. It was a pleasure to meet both of you."
Cloud nearly groaned out loud, hoping he wouldn't bow.
The two men began their journey back, the early morning silent around them. Cloud radiated heat as he walked, turned away from Zack as well as he could in order to continue walking a straight line. He wasn't even sure that he didn't want Zack to notice.
"What's wrong?" The SOLDIER asked. Cloud scowled, nervous anxiety building in him slightly as he thought of the words he wanted to speak.
"I can't believe you."
"What?"
"How you acted back there. To Rainer's mother. It's disgusting."
"What did I do? I was nice to her, I'm not going to be disrespectful while she's letting us stay in her house."
"Only because you wanted to get her into bed!" Cloud snapped, turning on his friend. Zack stopped mid-step, looking dumbfounded.
"What's wrong with you this morning?" he asked quietly.
Cloud nearly laughed. "I don't know. I guess it's because ... I think it's really /dumb,/ Zack."
The SOLDIER recognized the words. "What--Cloud, what's going on?"
Cloud shook his head, suddenly mad at himself as well. "Nothing. Forget it. I'm talking a walk."
Zack remained in his place for a moment, watching as Cloud walked off.
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"What in the hell is going /on?!/" Cloud yelled, displacing his anger on a nearby stone, which went flying down the dirt road. The road was silent around him, and the blond couldn't help as his thoughts began to overwhelm him. "First he makes me do his paperwork. Then when I get back at him by doing something /he/ would have done to me if he had just thought of it first, I get in trouble and will apparently be /killed/ when we get back to Midgar and out of the public's eye!"
A cow, which had wandered it's way to the fence, watched him with dark, lethargic eyes as he stormed past, his tirade far from spent.
"Of course I do it all with a smile. Or at least not a murderous vengeance, like most people in my position would. And then what? He gives me the business on some /stupid/ pathetic ... /obsession,/ while he goes off dreaming about every last human being that so much as walks past him!"
Cloud paused abruptly, his eyes fixed on the ground. He clenched one fist suddenly as his anger peaked. "Why am I so mad?!" he cried to the fields. "Why does it have to bother me so much?! What about the waitress from the restaurant last week? Or the doctor from the health spa? Or that radio technician who just came from Junon?"
He stared out into the green, waiting for a response. Finally he bowed his head. "... None of them were the mother of some poor little boy he seemed so interested in helping until he found out that she was single, I guess."
Cloud sighed heavily, ruffling his spikes, and began to walk again in silence. The farmhouse was close, and he looked to its dark and foreboding windows, knowing that he would eventually have to go inside.
He continued to walk, doing his best to calm himself. "It's not that big of a deal," he said to himself quietly, somewhat comforted by hearing himself say it, "I'll live with it. It's not the first time, it won't be the last time. I just have to move on with my life."
With renewed determination, Cloud made his way to the farmhouse, ready to face Zack once more.
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Cloud entered the room silently, casting a quick glance to Zack and the other anonymous soldier who had taken a position at the same table. Zack smiled, but the blond continued to move, walking across the room until he stood by the window.
"Something wrong?" Zack asked. Cloud did his best to ignore him, shrugging the question off.
"So, they didn't mind letting you stay?" the soldier asked, resuming their conversation.
"Oh, no. The kid wouldn't have had it any other way."
The soldier laughed quietly, nodding. "It must be nice to be able to take little mini-vacations while on assignment."
Zack did his best to scowl, which was, in comparison, only a slight grin. "Well it's not like it was tremendously fun. Cloud was too busy giving me hell over the kid's mother." The other soldier smiled. Cloud frowned from across the room.
"You /still/ don't even know her /name,/" he said gruffly. At this the other soldier laughed, but Zack's smile was constant.
"I didn't even /do/ anything," he said.
The blond grunted a low response, determined to hold on to his annoyance.
"Was she good looking?" the other soldier asked.
Zack grinned. "Of course!" he sat back in his chair thoughtfully. "She had that ... kind of sweet, caring, nurturing feeling, too."
"Ah," the soldier leaned forward, nodding his assent. "The kind of innocence that one's determined to corrupt?"
From across the room, Cloud's arms fell to his side as he let out an exasperated sigh, turning to the two men. "That's disgusting."
The SOLDIER merely laughed, the new recruit at his side rising in his esteem a full step.
"Oh come on, Cloud, get over it. You shouldn't let it be such a problem."
"What? I'm totally fine!" Cloud cried, looking to their table in mild desperation. "/You/ just keep bringing it up and saying horrible things about corrupting some poor old single mother you met for one night who's name you don't even know!"
"I'm just joking around. There's no need to be so jealous."
"What?! I'm not--"
The two men began to laugh again, oblivious to Cloud's expression, which had turned a decidedly more crimson shade.
"Wait," Zack moved in his spot, leaning over to catch Cloud in his sight. "Are you blushing?"
The other soldier's laughter only continued, and Cloud turned instantly, his eyes wide. "No! I'm--I'm angry!"
"Cloud! You're blushing!"
The blond struggled with words for a moment, his color only darkening. "I'm not blushing!"
"Oh, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud ... " Zack said, shaking his head.
"I'm--"
"You don't have to /lie/ to me, Spike."
"No, I--" Cloud fumbled madly, "I'm--" he stopped abruptly, his fists clenched at his side as he bit the inside of his cheek. Across the room, Zack and the soldier returned to their conversation with high spirits, their words obviously not impacting them as much as it did him.
Cloud took a step back, bringing one hand to his head to try and balance himself. It was just anger. What had he said before? Something about dealing with things? For reasons that continued to elude him, Cloud felt as he slowly slid down his rope, reaching the end far too quickly.
" ... well I'm hoping we'll get going tomorrow, but with the way things are going with the mayor, we may be delayed even longer."
"The longer we wait, the worse our chances of winning become."
It was a matter of /principle,/ Cloud thought. The phrase comforted him, anyway. But then again, maybe it was. He was tired of being treated like a child.
"Tell that to him."
"I think I might have."
He let his gaze settle on the window, forcing himself to breathe. If it shouldn't bother him as much as it was, then he shouldn't /let it./ Cloud nodded to himself, but felt as the words fell to the ground, completely meaningless in his advanced state of frenzy.
"The man seems almost physically attached to his money."
"You'd think he'd be a little more eager to let us help him save the entire town. If it gets destroyed, there won't be any money left."
Dealing with things was a two way street, he decided. As long as Zack stopped, he could stop.
"I'll go back and see him tomorrow morning. If he doesn't agree to sign the papers, I'll tell him that we'll pack up and go home."
"Right. Good. So, Cloud ... you good now?" Zack asked, his tone informal. "No more little jealous outbursts?"
Cloud felt it snap. Whoever considered these things to be figurative was only lying to himself. "I'm not /jealous!!/" he cried, lurching forward in anger.
Both men were silenced instantly, but only Zack seemed concerned, far more knowledgeable of Cloud than the other, who only grinned again.
Cloud closed his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth as he started off across the room. His cheeks pounded with blood every step.
"Hey, Cloud--"
The blond ignored him as he reached the door, pulling it open with as much vehemence as the action allowed.
"Hey!" Zack called. "What's your problem today? Cloud! Come back!"
Cloud slammed the door behind him, sliding down it slowly until his face was buried in his knees. The room was silent behind him.
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FF7 Fan Fiction
Chapter 8
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Cloud jogged slightly to catch up with Zack along the road. He had only paused for a moment, deciding to rest on the nearby fence overlooking the pastures. Zack looked over one shoulder as he approached from the side. "You know, I haven't done anything since we've gotten here," he said as he approached, "except fill out some papers you were too lazy to do yourself."
Zack smiled and turned back to the road. "Easy job, isn't it? Just stand there and be cute."
The blond soldier sighed inwardly, falling into line beside his friend. They hadn't seen hide nor tail of their supposed fellow Shinra nut since they arrived in Antei, but plans were apparently "under way," and until then, they were stuck on guard duty.
Zack kept a rigorous pace on his rounds, but Cloud had kept up regardless, forcing himself to work as hard as he could in order to reap the benefits of the training.
Alleged reaping was, he assumed, going to have to come eventually.
A small outcropping of homes appeared at the bottom of the hill, their dirt road trek finally leading them back to what some would consider civilization.
A short distance in front of them, a young boy ran past, disappearing behind one house. Children's voices could be heard. A few were laughing, but one rose above them all, and seemed to be yelling.
Zack's interested seemed piqued, and Cloud grudgingly followed him further up the road, to where he could see between the houses.
"Hey, Cloud," Zack said, nudging his friend as he reached his side again. Off to the side of the road, a group of young boys had formed a small circle, locking in what appeared to be another, decidedly smaller, boy cowering on the ground. The larger boys looked between themselves and back to their pray, who, through a slit between his adversaries, looked to Cloud and Zack to be doing his best to look serious, and hold back tears. "Doesn't this remind you of something?" he asked.
Cloud examined the scene. "A bunch of kids picking on the smallest one?"
"Yeah. Isn't this how we met?"
The blond scowled. "You're making it a point this week to pick on me, aren't you?"
Zack flashed his quick, infectious smile, and returned his attention to the children. It had happened once, Cloud thought, it would happen again. The SOLDIER left his side.
"Well now," Zack said, approaching the circle. The boys looked to him with obvious annoyance, but judged his size accurately, and let him have their attention. "What do you all think you're doing?" He asked, looking around the circle.
The boy in the middle stood at once, one arm quickly wiping his face as he looked to Zack with feigned anger. Cloud watched from behind, looking the boy over carefully. As if he hadn't seen that attitude somewhere before.
"Nothing," one of the older kids answered, appearing unfazed by Zack's stature.
"Nothing that involves /you,/" another boy echoed.
The young boy in the center remained silent, his eyes purposely diverted from Zack. He continued to sniffle, and occasionally wiped the minute amount of blood from his cut lip. Cloud was almost embarrassed. Was this how he looked?
Zack chuckled softly, shaking his head. "There's something you should know about me," he started, still smiling. "See, I have this code about not picking on someone smaller and weaker than yourself."
One of the kids scoffed. "Mind your own business, then."
"I can assume this boy did something so terrible as to deserve to be grossly outnumbered by adversaries?"
"He /said/ mind your own business," one spat.
"Maybe you don't understand," Zack continued, "How would you like it if /I/ took you on?"
There was a brief silence as the idea passed through the group, but one boy's laugh snapped them out of it.
"I'm sure it would look good for an adult to beat up a kid," one said. "Besides, wouldn't it be 'against your code'?"
Zack's smile was peaked. "Another thing you should know about me," he said, grabbing one boy by the collar of his shirt, sending the remaining boys into a collective gasp, "is that I never stick to a code."
The boys broke their circle at once, hesitating to scatter as they watched Zack's malevolent smile grow, and the smarmy, self-assured grin on their friend completely melt.
"What are you doing?!"
"He's going to kill him!"
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Zack had the boy from the center's attention now, his attempt to save his pride completely forgotten as he watched Zack threaten his enemies.
"See, I could break you in two if I wanted," Zack said, seeming to gain immense satisfaction out of the color of the boy's face. "But, according to what some consider to be set social rules, a man of my age, my strength, and my position, pulling you apart wouldn't go over well."
Half of the boys had fled, but the remaining watched Zack with intense fear. Their former pray continued to watch with wide eyes.
Cloud grumbled to himself as he realized he had to help. Reluctantly, he walked past his friend and to where the circle once was, flashing a simple glance to his remaining foes. They left in an instant.
"O-Okay--I--"
"I'm not done," Zack said, giving his captured a quick jostle. "Now, see how bad you feel knowing that I'm going to kick your ass? You haven't got a chance. If I was one of your other brain dead lackeys, then you wouldn't be so terrified. You see the benefits of not picking on someone half your size? You don't bother them, and a giant, terrorizing SOLDIER won't decide to hurt you simply to prove a point."
"Oh god," Cloud muttered. The fomerly terrorized young boy looked up to him, his eyes still wide.
"Do you understand?" Zack asked, peering down at the boy he still held with only one hand.
"Y-Yeah,"
"Good," Zack said, setting him back on his feet. The boy wobbled backwards for a moment, watching his attacker in case of another strike. "Then get out of here, and make sure you and you friends don't ever do something so pathetic ever again."
The boy hesitated a moment before turning and running off. The SOLDIER turned to Cloud.
"'I never stick to a code.' You practice all of this ahead of time, don't you?" Cloud asked. Zack's grin was far from spent.
"It's my civic, Shinra duty, Spike."
Cloud shook his head.
" ... S-Shinra?" the young boy asked, his voice nearly muted. Both men turned to him, having forgotten of him in the pseudo battle. The boy stood off to the side, looking to them both in mild apprehension. "You're from ... Shinra?"
Zack smiled as he walked to Cloud's side, completing their elite soldier duo. "Sure are!"
The boy stood, slowly looking back and forth between them. " ... Why did you do that?"
"You looked a bit outnumbered."
"I was fine … " the boy looked to the ground.
"Then consider it something entirely out of your control," Zack said, frowning slightly. Cloud watched him sidelong. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he built up his speech. "None of us can say what would have happened, but I made the decision to step in. Therefore … it says nothing about your own ability, or your lack thereof. You have to take it as it is."
Zack glanced to Cloud, who turned away. The young boy looked up to him curiously, somewhat understanding his words, but also understanding that it wasn't entirely directed at him.
"Huh?"
The SOLDIER turned back, instantly remembering the boy. "Nothing. Just-- you okay?"
The boy stood silently for a moment more. " … Yeah, I think so." he looked between the soldiers as he slowly let his guard down. "If you're from Shinra … does that mean you're SOLDIERs?"
Zack laughed, kneeling down to the boy's level. "First class."
"You're the soldier's that came to help us?" he asked, his voice full of a sudden intensity. Zack nodded. The boy lit up.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Rainer!" The boy's smile continued to grow as he watched both men in awe.
"Well, where do you live, Rainer? We should get you home to your parents."
The boy smiled widely and began to lead the way, opening completely in the news of his savor's (or at least one of his savior's) position. He walked quickly, talking all the way, his previous personality all but forgotten.
"You think you could teach me to fight? If I'm stronger then I can fight for myself next time!" The boy's eyes were light and clear as he spoke, this time walking backwards so he could gauge his new idol's reactions.
"I don't know," Zack said, putting a hand to his chin. "What do you think Cloud? Do we have time to take on an apprentice?"
Cloud smiled slightly as the boy's expression continued to grow brighter. "Gee, I don't know Zack, I'd have to say that would be your decision."
"Well, do you know any moves?" Zack asked. Rainer continued his slightly awkward walk, trying both to avoid the rocks he couldn't see, and keep up with the much taller men, and shook his head.
"Your father never taught you any defensive moves?" the SOLDIER asked, somewhat surprised.
"Nah, my father moved out of Antei after I was born."
"Oh." Zack forced a smile at the boy's nonchalance. "I guess that means we get to work with a clean slate, then."
The boy stumbled slightly as he beamed and finally turned around once more, continuing to lead the two men to his home.
Cloud could tell from the second Rainer opened the door that it was a bad idea. His young mother sat in the small living room, a book in her hand, looking to the door in question. There was a set expression of serenity and kindness in her features, her long hair tied up messily in a fashion that, despite her best intentions, fitted her so perfectly that it only emphasized her best features, and she had the inexplicable nurturing charm that could be felt by merely watching her stand and smile.
And she was single. Cloud held in a nearly audible groan.
"Rainer? Who are these two?" his mother walked to her son, smiling at both strangers.
"They're SOLDIERs!" Rainer said, dropping his bag by the door as he ran to his mom's side. He looked back to them, grinning. "They helped me out just now."
His mother's expression fell slightly as she looked him over, noticing the slight dark spot under his nose, the boy having never bothered to wipe the excess blood. "Oh, Rainer, not the boys from school again."
"No, it's okay!" the boy exclaimed. "Zack made sure they won't bother me again."
Cloud rolled his eyes. "You're such a hero," he muttered.
"And you're such an embittered little man," Zack replied under his breath, holding his smile for the family.
"Thank you," his mother said sweetly, smiling to Zack. "Maybe you two would like to stay for dinner? As a token of thanks. It's just about ready."
"Ah, we'd be honored!" Zack said, entering the house and rapidly approaching her side.
Cloud watched the scene, his worst fears suddenly true. Rainer looked back to him, motioning him to enter as well with a large, carefree smile. Cloud did his best to share his feelings, and walked after them.
--------------------------------
Cloud fell onto the couch, his expression dark. Zack continued to laugh madly, the young boy by his side. It was almost hard to tell them apart.
"Aw, don't be mad, Spike," he said through a massive grin, looking up to Cloud.
Rainer smiled as well. "Yeah, don't be mad, Spike!"
"I'm sure there are lots of people who couldn't play charades to save their lives!"
Cloud glowered slightly, which only encouraged Rainer and Zack.
Rainer's mother walked into the living room, watching the group happily. "Come on Rainer, it's getting late. We can't have them walk all the way home in the dark."
Rainer looked to his mother with instantly wet eyes. "But we're not done playing!"
"Your mother's right," Zack said, standing. "We've got to get heading back soon."
The young boy pouted crossly, his eyes locked on the floor in defiance.
"Come on now, don't be like that," his mother reasoned softly. Rainer's sneer only grew.
"We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Zack said. Rainer looked to him, his anger gone.
"But I have school tomorrow!"
His mother sighed and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Rainer, I'm sure they would stay if they could, but its dangerous outside at night. You wouldn't want them to be hurt trying to get home, now, would you?"
The boy's eyes suddenly lit up. "Why don't you spend the night here, then? It would be okay, right?" he looked to his mother.
His mother sighed, smiling slightly. "Rainer..."
"No, we wouldn't want to intrude like that," Zack said.
"But it's okay, right?" He looked desperately between the SOLDIER and his mother.
"Of course it would be, but maybe they want to go back to their /own/ rooms."
"No!" Rainer looked to Cloud, his anger returning. "Don't you want to stay here?"
The blond was flustered as they all turned to him, the decision suddenly on his shoulders. "Oh, well … we would, but--"
"So you /will!/"
"No, I--"
"Rainer," Zack stepped forward, pulling Cloud out of the spotlight. "We will just this once, but only because it's gotten so late out. Who knows, maybe this'll save us, we wouldn't want to run into any certain people in the dark."
Rainer smiled. "Good! Okay! You can stay in the guest room down the hall!" the boy took off, expecting the two to follow. His mother smiled.
"Thank you."
Zack returned it. Cloud glared and pulled his friend down the hall.
"I hope you know that we've been invited to stay with /Rainer./ /Not/ his mother," he said once they were out of earshot.
Zack sighed. "I know, I know. Fate's cruel that way."
Cloud brought a hand to his forehead. "The world might end if I ever found someone you weren't attracted to."
Zack laughed and slapped him playfully on the back, pushing him down the hall.
--------------------------------
Rainer opened the door, smiling. "There are blankets in the closet! My room's right down the hall so if you need anything you know where to find me!"
The boy continued to beam even as he made his way down the hall, leaving the two men standing in the doorway.
"Uh," Cloud stuck his head through the door, surveying the room. "I call the ... um, bed."
Zack stepped through the threshold, one hand scratching his head. "Do they actually except someone to be able to fit on that loveseat?"
Cloud made his way to the bed, testing the springs as he bounced slightly. "There's always the couch in the living room," he said, "but you'd have to share it with the dog."
The SOLDIER walked to Cloud's side. "This isn't going to work."
The blond looked up to him.
"I get the bed."
"I already called it."
"You're the only one of us that could possibly fit on the loveseat!" Zack cried, pointing to the worn in, yellowed couch.
Cloud frowned. "Just because you were to slow to call anything better doesn't mean--"
"I will /beat/ you off if I have to," Zack threatened, reaching for an arm.
"You can't always have it your way just because you're stronger than me!" Cloud said, struggling as he was pulled to his feet.
"Watch me!" Zack said, easily overpowering the blond. Cloud tripped over one foot as Zack pushed him away from the bed, landing on the floor with little grace.
"What about all this 'never pick on those who are weaker' business?" Cloud asked from the floor.
Zack scowled. "How many times do I have to tell you--"
"And why am I always the exception to every rule you have?"
"Look--"
"I'm not sleeping on the loveseat! Or the floor! Or anywhere other than the bed that /I/ already claimed!"
"You can't claim a bed, Cloud."
"Then why should you get it, while I don't?"
"Because I'm your superior officer, that's why!"
"Why are you only my superior officer when you want something?"
Zack turned down the bed, frowning. "Fine, if you're going to complain so much, then you can just sleep facing the other way."
Cloud looked down at the bed. "You'll take up the whole thing."
"Do you want to sleep on it or not?!"
"Fine!" Cloud grabbed one end of the blanket.
"Fine!" Zack echoed, meeting the blond's glare.
Cloud forced himself into the small space, pulling a shared blanket that refused to move. Zack growled from the other end, determined to hold on to the small territory.
"You can't make anything easy, can you?" Cloud mumbled, giving up the futile effort.
"You can't do anything without making some kind of remark, can you?"
Cloud sneered, wrapping his arms around his chest to keep warm. "I don't know why it's so hard anyway, you should be used to sharing a bed with someone by now."
Zack sat up, the comment obviously irking him. "Why are you so hung up on the Rainer's mother thing?"
"I'm not!" he sat up as well. "I just want part of the damn blanket!" the blond tried to pull the corner further, but it remained steadfast.
"Should I start using /your/ personal information to try and weasel myself another few inches of blanket?"
Cloud laid down once more, turned away from Zack. "I don't remember ever saying I wanted to share a blanket with you in the first place."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Zack said, far too loudly, "I forgot I'm not /Sephiroth./"
Cloud aimed one foot in the direction from which the voice came. He kicked madly into the empty air before it was caught.
"Oh like you wouldn't like it," Zack joked, tossing his foot off one side of the bed. With no outlet for physical violence, Cloud growled and tucked his legs under him.
"You're such a bastard," he said, lowering his voice in hopes that Zack would follow his lead. It was a terribly small house.
"What?" Zack asked, his voice still loud. "You can seemingly make it your duty to give me the business on what you consider to be my slight promiscuity, but if I so much as bring up a--"
"Zack!" Cloud hissed, sitting up. If the entire house couldn't hear them, it would be a miracle. Zack sat up as well, all the more determined to finish his speech.
"--So much as bring up a /crush/--"
"/Zack./"
"--bring up a /crush/ you have on--"
"I will /kill/ you."
"--you have on /Sephiroth/--"
"/Zack!/"
"--and suddenly that's /bad?!/"
"Arrgh!" Cloud made a mad dive for his friends throat, and was instantly thrown aside. Zack scowled at the pathetic attempt, sending Cloud further into his rage. He snatched a pillow from behind the SOLDIER and brought it to his face, doing his best to smother the villain into oblivion.
Without so much as a flinch, Zack pushed him away, taking the pillow from his hands and placing it back into its rightful position. "I'll ignore that little attempt for now, Strife. But you mess up my bedding once more and I'll have to file it along with all your other little endeavors since we've gotten here."
"I just want a blanket!" Cloud yelled. Zack watched him with a smile. Cloud scowled. "Damn you and your high spirits."
"Fine, take it," Zack spread the blanket out further, allowing Cloud to take as much as he needed. He sighed as the blond's anger remained. "All right, I'm sorry for using Sephiroth against you."
Cloud flashed a quick glare over one shoulder as he set up his pillow. He turned away again. "I'm sorry for bringing up the fact that you want to go to bed with every person you meet."
Zack pulled the blanket back, exposing Cloud. The blond snarled and grabbed his end, the resulting tug-of-war resulting in Zack's laughter, and Cloud's enduring anger.
"You've really got to lighten up," Zack said, letting the blanket go.
The blond glowered for a moment, gathering up his side of the blanket. Zack was suddenly quiet, but Cloud ignored it as best he could, fixing his pillow once more.
"Hey, Cloud," Zack's voice had lost it's intensity slightly, and Cloud was forced to look to him, his tone slightly unsettling. Zack's expression had fallen, it was suddenly soft, almost serious. It was a rare emotion, Cloud knew, and his attention was peaked in an instant. "About Sephiroth ... Really, you're still ... you still ... "
Cloud cocked his head slightly. "I still?"
The SOLDIER smiled briefly, an attempt to show him that it was still all in good humor. Cloud knew better. "I mean, you still, you know, have a thing for him?"
The blond locked around the room slowly in realization of how awkward the situation had become, but there was no way out. His gaze returned to Zack, who sat in silence, waiting for an answer. Cloud knew he had to speak.
"Well, aren't you the one who said that ... that every soldier that comes here loves him in some way?"
Zack sighed, but appeared as though the answer wasn't at all what he wanted. "Yeah, and it's true, but ... you know what I mean."
Cloud eyed his friend suspiciously, but Zack kept his gaze diverted. "Why do you want to know?"
The dark haired soldier turned on him instantly. "Can't I just want to know?!"
"Okay!" Cloud held up his hands in defense before letting them drop, realizing he had to answer the question. "Well, I mean ... you know ... maybe a little, but--"
"No," Zack said, a smile surfacing again. "you don't have to explain it." Cloud looked to him again, but his expression quickly dropped back into seriousness, and Cloud shifted uncomfortably, working up the nerve to speak once more. "It's just," Zack started again, "I don't know ... I just ... I think it's really ... dumb."
He met Cloud's gaze this time, waiting for a reaction.
"Dumb?"
"Yeah."
"Excuse me?" Cloud couldn't help the sudden anger that began to rise. It was enough to be forced to talk about something he was embarrassed to even /think/ about, but all this time Zack had acted as though he were the only one who understood, and that he was the one person he could talk to about it, and now he was being /criticized/ for it?
"You don't know what he's really like." Zack said flatly. Cloud was sure his expression spoke for itself, but his friend ignored it and continued to speak. "Everyone thinks he's some god, like they'd be blessed just to have him speak to them."
The young recruit sat in a mild stupor. Was he being /reprimanded?/
Zack only continued his markedly out of character speech. "He's not ... he's not what you want him to be."
"Zack--"
"No, listen. I know how you feel, I know what you've built him up to be, I really do understand that, but it's not him. If it were anyone else I'd be happy to support you and do whatever I could for you, but I know Sephiroth, I know what he's like, and I know that what you think he's like couldn't possibly be the true him."
The small room was quiet for a moment while Zack waited for a response. Cloud sighed, rustling his spikes with one hand. "Zack," he said, mimicking his friend's somber tone, "you think I don't understand that?"
The SOLDIER watched him intently, the subject seeming to hold some importance to him.
Almost unconsciously, Cloud laughed. "If you think that ... that I expect something ... It's not as if I don't know what my reality is. You have to know me better than to think I'd ... I'd /pursue/ him. I mean, you don't have to warn me about the consequences ... of a crush, because it's just that."
Zack hugged his knees to his chest, letting his chin rest on top. " ... I'm sorry. I just ... I've seen it a lot. I don't ... I don't think you deserve to be hurt."
There was another silence. Cloud shifted slightly, examining his friend. "What the hell is up with you and your mood swings?"
Zack growled and pulled the blankets up, lying down on his side, away from Cloud. "Fine. See if I ever try to help you again."
Cloud pulled his ends of the blankets from Zack, turning opposite him as well. "See if I ever ... leave Midgar with you again."
He thought he could hear Zack laugh quietly into his pillow. "Ouch."
--------------------------------
Cloud slumped down on the couch, rubbing one eye. Rainer bounced around the room, talking almost as fast as he moved. Even /with/ sleep it was hard to function at dawn, Cloud thought, it was only harder with an insane SOLDIER and his schedule, and nearly impossible when he was matched up with another hyperactive child.
The young boy jumped onto the couch suddenly, leaning on the arm and gazing up to Cloud with a wide grin. "What's it like in Midgar?" he asked.
"Well, uh," Cloud fumbled for a moment, looking around the room for support from Zack. The SOLDIER stood a few feet off, the same look of inquiry on his face as on the child. The blond scowled quickly, before turning back to the boy. "Well, I've only been there a few months, actually, so I haven't had much time to go out in the city--"
"Is it bigger than Antei?"
Cloud stammered for a moment, his speech interrupted. "Ah, it's, it's a lot bigger. In fact--"
"What about all the people there? We know everyone that lives here, I heard in towns like Midgar there are so many people you couldn't possibly even meet them all!" the boy's eyes were wide as he spoke.
"Well, no. I mean, yeah, there are a lot of people there--"
"What about girls? Are there a lot there?"
"Yes, there are just as many girls there as there are--"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uh, well," Cloud looked to Zack once more, his desperation growing along with the SOLDIER's massive grin.
"Cloud's a little too ... /busy/ for a relationship," Zack said, walking up to the boy.
Rainer gave him a short look of question, but sensed his breakfast, and took off with a jolt. Zack smiled after him and sat down in his spot, next to Cloud.
"Isn't it remarkable?" he said softly.
"What?"
"Rainer."
Cloud watched the boy down his breakfast, his energy building all the time. "What about him?"
"You don't see any resemblance?"
The blond closed his eyes. "I don't think I'm that lively."
Although he couldn't see it, Cloud was sure Zack's massive grin was as full as ever. "The similarities between you two when confronted are more than obvious," he began, deepening his voice to sound more professional. "One would say he could be your … /foil./"
"So Zack's taken a literary class, I'll admit I'm impressed."
"That meaning," he continued, ignoring the blond, "not just that the two of you are similar because of these actions, but more importantly, that you are /different./ Rainer chooses to be happy after the incident, while you choose to remain downtrodden, introspective, and without a sliver of self-worth or respect to be seen, yet still unwilling to lose your pride. Judging from the uncanny similarities, both conclusions can be reached from these self-deprecating actions with others. In the end, how you act must then be an entirely conscious decision. Learn well from this motif, Spike, learn well."
Cloud glared.
"Do you two want anything to eat?" Rainer's mother asked, standing next to her son. Zack quickly broke into a smile, standing as he was addressed. Cloud turned his head, gagging mentally.
"No, thank you."
"Did you both sleep well?" She asked.
"We slept … as well as we could," Cloud answered, forcing himself not to look at Zack.
"That's good. I hope the foldout wasn't too much trouble to open."
Cloud's expression darkened.
"It was fine," Zack said. She smiled at them both and returned to the kitchen.
"Something in this world hates me," Cloud mumbled. Zack sighed.
Rainer began to get ready for school, his energy only increasing. His mother stood near them, watching her son's cheerfulness with her own contentment.
"Are you sure I can't get you anything?" She asked. Zack looked up to her, smiling.
"No, we really need to be heading out, anyway. We are on duty, you know."
"Of course. Thank you for all you've done, you're welcome back here any time."
Cloud stood and walked to the door, too disgusted to watch Zack any longer.
"I'll come by the farm you're staying at tomorrow!" Rainer said loudly.
Zack laughed. "All right, we'll be waiting."
Both Rainer and his mother saw them off at the door, the latter of the two seeming completely ignorant to Zack's more than obvious intentions. Cloud stood off to the side, attempting to listen to Rainer, who continually tugged the bottom of his shirt, while most of his attention fell on Zack, creating an unconscious scowl that Rainer tried to decipher.
"We'll be here a few weeks, more than likely," Zack said.
"Well we'd love to have you back again."
"Oh, well I--"
"Zack." Cloud stepped away from the boy. Zack turned to him, and back to Rainer's mother.
"We've gotta get going. It was a pleasure to meet both of you."
Cloud nearly groaned out loud, hoping he wouldn't bow.
The two men began their journey back, the early morning silent around them. Cloud radiated heat as he walked, turned away from Zack as well as he could in order to continue walking a straight line. He wasn't even sure that he didn't want Zack to notice.
"What's wrong?" The SOLDIER asked. Cloud scowled, nervous anxiety building in him slightly as he thought of the words he wanted to speak.
"I can't believe you."
"What?"
"How you acted back there. To Rainer's mother. It's disgusting."
"What did I do? I was nice to her, I'm not going to be disrespectful while she's letting us stay in her house."
"Only because you wanted to get her into bed!" Cloud snapped, turning on his friend. Zack stopped mid-step, looking dumbfounded.
"What's wrong with you this morning?" he asked quietly.
Cloud nearly laughed. "I don't know. I guess it's because ... I think it's really /dumb,/ Zack."
The SOLDIER recognized the words. "What--Cloud, what's going on?"
Cloud shook his head, suddenly mad at himself as well. "Nothing. Forget it. I'm talking a walk."
Zack remained in his place for a moment, watching as Cloud walked off.
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"What in the hell is going /on?!/" Cloud yelled, displacing his anger on a nearby stone, which went flying down the dirt road. The road was silent around him, and the blond couldn't help as his thoughts began to overwhelm him. "First he makes me do his paperwork. Then when I get back at him by doing something /he/ would have done to me if he had just thought of it first, I get in trouble and will apparently be /killed/ when we get back to Midgar and out of the public's eye!"
A cow, which had wandered it's way to the fence, watched him with dark, lethargic eyes as he stormed past, his tirade far from spent.
"Of course I do it all with a smile. Or at least not a murderous vengeance, like most people in my position would. And then what? He gives me the business on some /stupid/ pathetic ... /obsession,/ while he goes off dreaming about every last human being that so much as walks past him!"
Cloud paused abruptly, his eyes fixed on the ground. He clenched one fist suddenly as his anger peaked. "Why am I so mad?!" he cried to the fields. "Why does it have to bother me so much?! What about the waitress from the restaurant last week? Or the doctor from the health spa? Or that radio technician who just came from Junon?"
He stared out into the green, waiting for a response. Finally he bowed his head. "... None of them were the mother of some poor little boy he seemed so interested in helping until he found out that she was single, I guess."
Cloud sighed heavily, ruffling his spikes, and began to walk again in silence. The farmhouse was close, and he looked to its dark and foreboding windows, knowing that he would eventually have to go inside.
He continued to walk, doing his best to calm himself. "It's not that big of a deal," he said to himself quietly, somewhat comforted by hearing himself say it, "I'll live with it. It's not the first time, it won't be the last time. I just have to move on with my life."
With renewed determination, Cloud made his way to the farmhouse, ready to face Zack once more.
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Cloud entered the room silently, casting a quick glance to Zack and the other anonymous soldier who had taken a position at the same table. Zack smiled, but the blond continued to move, walking across the room until he stood by the window.
"Something wrong?" Zack asked. Cloud did his best to ignore him, shrugging the question off.
"So, they didn't mind letting you stay?" the soldier asked, resuming their conversation.
"Oh, no. The kid wouldn't have had it any other way."
The soldier laughed quietly, nodding. "It must be nice to be able to take little mini-vacations while on assignment."
Zack did his best to scowl, which was, in comparison, only a slight grin. "Well it's not like it was tremendously fun. Cloud was too busy giving me hell over the kid's mother." The other soldier smiled. Cloud frowned from across the room.
"You /still/ don't even know her /name,/" he said gruffly. At this the other soldier laughed, but Zack's smile was constant.
"I didn't even /do/ anything," he said.
The blond grunted a low response, determined to hold on to his annoyance.
"Was she good looking?" the other soldier asked.
Zack grinned. "Of course!" he sat back in his chair thoughtfully. "She had that ... kind of sweet, caring, nurturing feeling, too."
"Ah," the soldier leaned forward, nodding his assent. "The kind of innocence that one's determined to corrupt?"
From across the room, Cloud's arms fell to his side as he let out an exasperated sigh, turning to the two men. "That's disgusting."
The SOLDIER merely laughed, the new recruit at his side rising in his esteem a full step.
"Oh come on, Cloud, get over it. You shouldn't let it be such a problem."
"What? I'm totally fine!" Cloud cried, looking to their table in mild desperation. "/You/ just keep bringing it up and saying horrible things about corrupting some poor old single mother you met for one night who's name you don't even know!"
"I'm just joking around. There's no need to be so jealous."
"What?! I'm not--"
The two men began to laugh again, oblivious to Cloud's expression, which had turned a decidedly more crimson shade.
"Wait," Zack moved in his spot, leaning over to catch Cloud in his sight. "Are you blushing?"
The other soldier's laughter only continued, and Cloud turned instantly, his eyes wide. "No! I'm--I'm angry!"
"Cloud! You're blushing!"
The blond struggled with words for a moment, his color only darkening. "I'm not blushing!"
"Oh, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud ... " Zack said, shaking his head.
"I'm--"
"You don't have to /lie/ to me, Spike."
"No, I--" Cloud fumbled madly, "I'm--" he stopped abruptly, his fists clenched at his side as he bit the inside of his cheek. Across the room, Zack and the soldier returned to their conversation with high spirits, their words obviously not impacting them as much as it did him.
Cloud took a step back, bringing one hand to his head to try and balance himself. It was just anger. What had he said before? Something about dealing with things? For reasons that continued to elude him, Cloud felt as he slowly slid down his rope, reaching the end far too quickly.
" ... well I'm hoping we'll get going tomorrow, but with the way things are going with the mayor, we may be delayed even longer."
"The longer we wait, the worse our chances of winning become."
It was a matter of /principle,/ Cloud thought. The phrase comforted him, anyway. But then again, maybe it was. He was tired of being treated like a child.
"Tell that to him."
"I think I might have."
He let his gaze settle on the window, forcing himself to breathe. If it shouldn't bother him as much as it was, then he shouldn't /let it./ Cloud nodded to himself, but felt as the words fell to the ground, completely meaningless in his advanced state of frenzy.
"The man seems almost physically attached to his money."
"You'd think he'd be a little more eager to let us help him save the entire town. If it gets destroyed, there won't be any money left."
Dealing with things was a two way street, he decided. As long as Zack stopped, he could stop.
"I'll go back and see him tomorrow morning. If he doesn't agree to sign the papers, I'll tell him that we'll pack up and go home."
"Right. Good. So, Cloud ... you good now?" Zack asked, his tone informal. "No more little jealous outbursts?"
Cloud felt it snap. Whoever considered these things to be figurative was only lying to himself. "I'm not /jealous!!/" he cried, lurching forward in anger.
Both men were silenced instantly, but only Zack seemed concerned, far more knowledgeable of Cloud than the other, who only grinned again.
Cloud closed his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth as he started off across the room. His cheeks pounded with blood every step.
"Hey, Cloud--"
The blond ignored him as he reached the door, pulling it open with as much vehemence as the action allowed.
"Hey!" Zack called. "What's your problem today? Cloud! Come back!"
Cloud slammed the door behind him, sliding down it slowly until his face was buried in his knees. The room was silent behind him.
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