Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.

FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Eight

*************

Kaoru lay on her bed. Wide-awake at what? She turned her head and looked at the clock. At three in the morning. She kept thinking about why she'd kissed him. Why had she kissed him? She'd jerked away when his arm had snaked around her waist attempting to pull her closer. She was confused by her actions. She should be embarrassed but she couldn't find it in herself to be so.

She would be going out with him later in the day. He would most likely be wearing a nice suit so she had to look nice.

She'd brushed her teeth for close to half an hour. She'd been desperate to rid herself of the taste of him. But it lingered long after the man had left. Her once beloved had been right. She needed to tread carefully or the flame would consume her as well. Even now, a whole life time after, he still sparked that something in her. Though it was faint now she was afraid of what it could do. Embers grow.

*************

Concupiscence, she'd woken the feeling with the press of her lips. The kiss that ensued had to some extent taken him by surprise. Desire had flared and he'd almost become lost if not for her jerking away. His first instinct had been to grab her and pull her back. But he was well conditioned and his thoughts as well as some of his darker instincts were carefully controlled. The wants of his darker half never got out of hand. His nature was not like anyone he'd ever met.

His cool facade and detachment had started rumors when he first began working in S-9. After his first kill he'd earned himself the nickname toorima. A name he despised.

Kenshin turned on his side trying to get comfortable. It was five am. He had an hour and half before he had to get up. He closed his eyes in hopes of deceiving his conscious, tricking it into falling asleep.

Minutes later he opened his eyes knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep. He got up and walked to his gym. He would mediate.

Deep meditation, a type of self-hypnosis; it would served the same purpose as sleep. This way he wouldn't pull a gun on someone for merely looking at him funny.

*************

Kaoru's eyes snapped open. Her head quickly turned to the clock. Eleven till twelve; she had plenty of time to get ready. She got out of bed wondering if she should work out first then bathe or just bathe and begin getting ready.

They hadn't really said what time he was picking her up but she assumed it would be after six. That gave her time to work out then.

She dressed and headed towards the gym. Thoughts about canceling still plagued her though not as much as they had the night before. She was just nervous. That was all. It'd been years since she'd kissed a boy and so now what with Kenshin and all. She was just nervous.

So to ease her mind she would pretend she hadn't done it. It was just that simple. She nodded her head in affirmation before she began her work out.

She had to be smart.

It was obvious he didn't spend more than a couple of weeks with a woman so she had to play this right. She had to make him yearn for her company. She wasn't sure how.

Suddenly she stopped on the treadmill. Damn it! That's why she'd gone to the shop. She'd been trying to remember how she'd caught his attention, his heart. Luring him to her bed didn't seem like such a big task anymore the problem would be his heart. She began running again, pondering on what to do.

Kaoru turned in front of the long mirror. She'd gone on an emergency-shopping trip when she found she had nothing to wear on her first official date with him. Though truth be told this was their second date. She counted yesterday as their first.

Maybe she shouldn't wear black. She took the dress off and put the pink one back on. It looked too childish. He would think she was much too young. She pulled the dress off and stepped back to look at her choices. The crimson one was by her favorite though it was much to risque. Blue, pink or green. She thought for a moment before she dug through her closet. She pulled a white dress out of her closet. It was long white silk. This dress was similar to the red dress she'd worn to the gala except for the front. This dress while it allowed a nice view from the front it didn't over expose anything. She turned several times in the dress. Was this really her last choice?

The doorbell rang and her head jerked away from the mirror. It was exactly six. It couldn't be him still she took a couple of seconds to sprits some perfume and to apply her lipstick. Her hair was down but it didn't matter she didn't have any more time. She grabbed her purse and ran out of her room. Slowing her pace when he reached the outside hall otherwise he'd hear her running and she didn't want him to think that she was eager. Because she wasn't.

She stopped herself from biting her lip, red lipstick smeared like no other. She composed herself and opened the door.

Kenshin eyes roamed over her without thought. He'd been preparing himself for what she might look like all day. Deep down he'd hoped she wouldn't look too beautiful. Seems he'd hoped for too much.

"You look nice," she noted.

He nodded and forced a reply, "You too." He was casual when speaking with her still he had the feeling she could almost see what he was thinking or in this case trying not to think.

She smiled and moved past him once she'd locked the door. He put his hand on the small of her back leading her towards his car. Silk, she just had to wear silk didn't she. He tried very hard not to rub the material like he often did his bed sheets. He opened the door for her. Noting the front of her dress as she sat down. He took a deep breath as he walked around, to his side of the car. He had the sense of restlessness when he was close to her sometimes. He strapped himself in before turning the car on. She had such an innocent face a contrast to her audacious nature and forward personality. His eyes focused on the road though his thoughts still lingered. She looked almost sinful in white.

His car roared as he drove through the streets. She was quiet now watching the scenery as they sped by. His head looked forward at the road as he avoided hitting slow cars. Still from time to time, out of the corner of his eye he could see the curve of her bosom rise as he avoided yet another car. Was he doing this on purpose, maybe. Scaring her seemed to give him a sense of power. Something he seemed to lack when in her presence.

The car stopped in front of a restaurant. He had planned on a club but she looked much too elegant in that dress to be dancing around. Though it would have been nice to see her try. He smiled inwardly.

The valet opened the door for her, his eyes dropping to her chest as he helped her out.

Kenshin's blue-violet eyes narrowed in annoyance. Another reason to hate valet. "The keys." He offered the idiotic teenage boy who at the moment seemed too transfixed by his date to notice he'd walked around. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder. Applying pressure as he pulled the boy back without drawing attention to himself. "Are in the car." His voice had dropped several degrees and only now did the boy turn to look at him.

His arm slipped around her waist as he led her inside the restaurant. He was behaving strange tonight. It was probably because he hadn't slept at all last night. Still he had this vexing feeling that maybe it was she who affected him. He put the thought aside as they were shown to their table.

*************

"I didn't expect you at six." She said placing her wineglass down.

She really was observant, he thought as he glanced at her. "I left early." He responded offhandedly.

"Yeah, I kind of figured." She smiled a bit. "So how was work?"

"Boring."

"Really the sense I got from the business community was that it would be exciting. My father took me to work with him once back when I was small. It was great. I saw him wheeling and dealing."

He watched her. She really loved her father you could see it in the way she spoke about him and the way her face lit up. "Is it just you and him?" He asked, curiosity loosening his tongue.

"Yeah, been him and me for as long as I can remember my mom died when I was young." Her smiled slipped slightly. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "So tell me about the PSB, that's a place I'd like to work at. You guys are like spies right?

Kenshin only nodded.

"Is it like the movies? Did you ever get to go to another country while on assignment?" She was genuinely interested in his previous job.

"I can't say."

A secretive smile appeared on her face. "I guess that means you'll tell me later."

He didn't comment though her response did intrigue him. He was sure she couldn't get the information out of him and why would he willingly tell her.

"Kenshin," she sighed his name. "What are we going to talk about?"

He was confused by the confrontation.

"Well I guess we can avoid talking about your past for the time being. I mean this is our first date and all." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "So how many girlfriends have you had?"

The wine he'd been swallowing seemed to take a wrong turn then, threatening to come back up. He composed himself tossing her a narrowed look. She smiled wickedly at him in response.

"The PSB was just a job . . . . . . ." He began.

*************

A blowing breeze stirred his hair as he got out of the car and walked around to her side. He opened the car door for her, grasping her hand and helping her out. The meal had been interesting. Her tactics surprised him in that she'd actually gotten him to talk. Silently, they walked to the front of her home. Again he stood one step below her, waiting.

Kaoru swallowed her nervousness. She'd already done this. She didn't have to be nervous. They both stopped when they reached the porch. He halted on the step below the top of the stairs.

"I had a nice time." She said softly if not shyly.

"Me too."

She looked down at his face. He looked so young. Her right hand wove itself into his bangs. Moving them aside so she could see into his eyes. His eyes where well guarded. They should be, she thought sadly. The feeling served only in fueling her inner turmoil.

Without warning she bent over and kissed him. Wishing she could crush him the way she crushed her weak sentiments. She kissed roughly as anger worked into her blood. His arm slid around her waist and she fought the reflex to flinch, to get away.

She pulled her face away from him just as suddenly. She licked her lips drawing his attention to them. She took a breath somehow sounding regretful.

"Are you busy Saturday?" She said moving strands out of his eyes.

"No." He rasped huskily.

"We can meet for lunch then. I'll see you at the bookstore, ten am." She gave him a long lingering kiss. Pulling away from his reluctant hold. She only smiled when he nodded.

She made quick work of opening her door. Dropping her smile once, safely inside. She took her shoes of by the door, her hand gliding along the wall as she made her way to the bathroom. Tears clouded her vision. She stumbled to the toilet where she began to heave. Tears rolled down her cheeks in between sobbing and throwing up.

She hated him.

She hated him so much. She feared he would get to her before she got to him. If that happened, it would mean that it would come down to whom ever possessed the strongest will. Loathing and desire battled for her peace of mind, only one could win. It was more than just about him now. She was doing this for herself, to get rid of the anger and the overwhelming hate. To go back to how she was. A vile taste rose in her throat and she heaved again. She heaved until it hurt her throat. She despised him with her whole heart. It was all his fault, all this hurt inside of her. It was all his fault. He deserved what he got.

She rose to her feet feeling a sense of instability. She took rest against the sink. Avoiding her reflection as she washed her face and then her teeth.

She swayed as she walked over to her father's room. She crept into the room feeling a sense of wrongness. There were many reasons for feeling that way but it was mainly because she went over to the mini-bar. She removed a big bottle of whisky he kept there. She would replace it with a new one tomorrow when she went to buy her own.

She dragged her feet to her own room, sitting on her mattress surrounded by so many things from her past. She began to cry. She opened the bottle and took a swig feeling the liquid burning her already sensitive throat. She hadn't bothered with the light so everything was dark. She took another swig closing her eyes this time as a dizzy spell passed.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

She was sure she'd never been this confused before. She would have loved to have her mind erased if she could but never while knowing that he was out there, living. She took a large drink from her bottle.

She just couldn't find peace. And she was afraid that she might not in this life. So what is there but death if that's the only place where I can find it. She took another swing, this time setting the bottle on her nightstand. "I only want peace of mind," she thought as more tears clouded her vision. She lay back feeling too heavy all to suddenly. She welcomed the alcohol-induced slumber as it rose around her.

I like the kissing scenes which is why I like the beginning of chapter nine. I debated whether posting a small preview but in the end I decided against it. Sorry. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Things are moving along and at the moment there are no obstacle other than her conflicting emotions. It didn't seem like too much of stretch for her to feel that way.

I watched a movie once where the woman killed herself because she came to the point where she couldn't live with who she was and whom she used to be. Very sad.

Small Notes: Embers grow and flames blaze in the burning haze of desire.

Kaoru still struggles with conflicting feelings. Though her hate is strong and it's what gets her past moments of weakness. Moments of confusion and doubt.

Kenshin, it seems that despite his cold eyes and controlled manner is being swayed to her will. Something in Kaoru pulls at him. Something unknown and intriguing. His nickname Toorima translates to phantom killer.

I believe that's all I needed to review. Thanks for reading, be sure to review.