Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Fourteen

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His kisses were soft and lingering. She could tell he didn't want to leave, but it was Monday morning and he had to work. They stood behind the door of her house kissing as she bade him good bye. "I'll see you tonight." He whispered against her throat.

"No, Wednesday." She said pushing on his chest.

He sighed and nodded his head. They opened the door and he walked out, pausing on the last step of the stairs of her porch.

"One more." She said knowing what he wanted. She walked over to him and threw her arms around his neck. Kissing him until her world began to loose focus. She released him, smiling when she saw flecks of gold appearing in his eyes. He hesitated for the fraction of a moment before he turned and left.

She waited till he drove off before she went back inside. Slamming the door close as she ran inside and into the bathroom. Her hands shook as she opened the medicine cabinet already a stream of tears made their way down her cheeks. She took hold of the pills she'd been looking for; they were prescribed painkillers she took during her period because her cramps were far too painful to endure without medication. Those pills that had helped her through so much were now going to help her again. She struggled with the cap until she popped the lid open. The pills spilled on the counter but she quickly shoved them back in though not before she stuck two into her mouth. They were bitter on her tongue and tasted even worse when she chewed on them. She put the bottle on the counter and knelt down in front of the sink. She opened the cabinets underneath and stuck her hand all the way into the back, behind the bathroom cleaners until she found her bottle of rum.

The mixture could be dangerous but at the moment her mind was slow in registering anything but what had happened. She took the top off the bottle and chugged a mouthful. She wanted more, desperately but she knew it wouldn't be a good idea. She put the bottle down instead and crawled into the shower. Her hands managed to find the knobs and turned the water on. Hot water sprayed down on her, washing away everything.

Everything they had shared in the last three days. All his words and all his kisses. Every where he'd touched. It'd burned and she wanted it to burn now. The water was almost too hot to bear but she could stand it. She was proof of the fact that pain didn't kill you. If that had been true then she would have been able to die with him in the last life instead of living on.

Kaoru grabbed her head, pulling on her hair. She began rocking herself. She wanted to be numb. If the pills hadn't had their affect on her by the time she left the shower then she'd drink herself to oblivion. A flash of amber eyes drifted past her vision causing her to cry louder. I don't want to think. I don't want to think. I don't want to think. She chanted the same phrase over and over until the words slurred together.

When again she opened her eyes, she noticed the water was no longer scalding hot. Her vision swam and she sat there under the water until the spinning stopped. Then slowly she crawled forward turning the water off. She crawled out feeling to weak to stand. She sat on the fluffy mat with her eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to regain some strength. When she could move again, she took off the satin robe she'd been wearing, it felt heavier now that it was completely soaked. She pulled on a near by towel and draped it around her torso. When she was done she then crawled across the floor to where her bottle of rum sat.

Alcohol induced sleep was still sleep.

Kaoru supported herself against the sink in an effort to stand. She was slow in rising but she did it and with her bottle of rum in hand. Tiny steps, that was all she could do for the moment but she didn't mind. She had a feeling that if she went any faster; she'd throw up or worse. Though she couldn't even imagine what could be worse.

She shuffled out of the bathroom slowly making her way past the guestroom and to her room. Her haven. A place he hadn't seen nor touched. It was clean and free of his smell.

Her eyes teared up when she saw her bed. This was her bed. Hers and only hers. She pulled back the covers and crawled onto the mattress beneath the warm blankets. Clean blankets.

She sat long enough to drain half the bottle in her hand before she put the top back on and sat it on her nightstand. She felt a heavy dizziness spinning over her as soon as she lay down. She stayed completely still as the spell passed. Cracking an eye open in the direction of her clock, she noted a six and realized she'd spent the entire day in the shower.

She closed her eye again and covered her head with the blankets. More than glad she was already drifting off.

*************

Kenshin tossed and turned unable to find a comfortable position. It was just after midnight and already he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. His mind and it was not of no surprise was filled with thoughts, images and memories. He'd already had a cold shower and really didn't want another one but he couldn't control his thoughts and they drifted.

Always back to her they drifted.

He'd gotten to her house Friday afternoon and he'd been allowed to stay all the way till this morning. The fact that he was allowed to see her on some days was beginning to bother him. He should be able to see her at anytime and on any day. She was his girlfriend. Didn't that give him some rights?

He sighed in frustration and rubbed his temples. He loved her. And very much it seemed. He'd spent all weekend learning the feel of her touch, the curves of her body, caressing every part with his hands and mouth. She'd become like a sort of addiction. He craved her attention and after a while the craving turned into a painful need. He needed to have her.

He hadn't told her he loved her yet. He didn't know how to go about it plus he wasn't too sure how she felt. Though when they made love he could see it. When she climaxed all her feelings were bared and he saw it, the longing, the desire and most importantly he saw love in her eyes. At those times he wanted to tell her. He almost had on Sunday. He'd refrained from saying it though because he didn't want to say it if she didn't feel the same way. He didn't want to scare her off.

Kenshin threw his arm over his eyes. He had never been one for commitment. He'd never really wanted a relationship but with Kaoru it was different. She had a way of getting to him; sometimes a mere glance was all it took to incite him. He sighed, he loved her so he really only had one choice. He would make her fall in love with him. Until then he'd hold off on saying it.

*************

His mood was quite obvious on Tuesday morning. The contrast in his temper from one day to next was quite drastic. Sunday, he'd been with her and though he hadn't slept, he'd been in a great mood on Monday.

Monday he hadn't really slept because of course he'd been alone and he'd thinking about her. So Tuesday morning found him in one of the darkest moods he'd ever fallen into. He'd spent the whole morning going over proper procedures with the security team. But it all seemed useless. They couldn't learn everything they needed during one hour a day lessons. He tapped his pen on the desk while he thought about it. Maybe he would send them off to camp.

He looked at his cloak, noting it was only eleven. He sighed; all right he would send them all to camp. One month is all he needed to have them broken in. He would find proper temporary replacements and then he would take the group over to Camp Toshimichi in Kyoto. He hadn't been there in a while. And a month a way from work was sounding better by the minute. They would all leave this Thursday. He'd get them settled in and then come back so that he could keep his date with Kaoru on Saturday.

Though he stopped to wonder, would she consider going to Kyoto with him? She didn't have to stay with him at the camp. He could put her up at a house or hotel whatever. Hm, He'd call her but he didn't have her number and she didn't have his. They were odd that way. Mark Monday, they'd been together seven weeks and he'd never bothered to ask. It hadn't seemed necessary since they always went out at the same time on Wednesdays and she always told him what time on Saturdays. He frowned in thought. They seemed to do a lot if not everything she wanted.

He dismissed the idea, knowing now wasn't the time, he was too stressed to think correctly specially in areas where she was concerned.

*************

Kaoru's head slowly emerged from a canopy of pillows and blankets. The world no longer spun, her eyes where dry and her head no longer hurt. Only her body ached. Kaoru sniffled then and blinked several times. She though that after two days she'd be all out of tears. Slowly she rose off the comfortable bed and headed for the shower.

When she got to the bathroom she decided that she'd be better off with a bath instead. It would be better for her protesting muscles. She turned the knobs, letting the tub fill half way before she turned the water off. It was still hard to believe that she'd moved them to the next step. The act had been easier that she'd anticipated, it was everything that'd happened afterwards that was now causing her breakdown.

Friday night was not as hazy as she would have liked. She hadn't had any alcohol or any pills so she couldn't blame her reaction to him as a mere side affect of some drug. Kaoru blinked back several more times trying to keep back a stream of tears. Tears she thought she didn't have. She poured the vanilla-jasmine scent into her bath water and slipped in. The water was hot and it burned but only for a moment. She sat back and leaned against the tub.

She'd felt him, Friday. All that he was, all that he'd been. Just at that moment, when her world had exploded into light and the earth had shattered beneath her essence. When they'd been connected she'd felt him and she'd wanted to keep him.

The rest of her days were hazy and she was glad, she couldn't live with so many memories. Kaoru picked up the washcloth on the side of the tub and dabbed her eyes. He hadn't noticed the difference between Friday night and the rest of the weekend. She was glad though still irritated. She felt a headache coming on.

This was all his fault. If only she hadn't seen that first flash of amber. If only she had never seen him. Kaoru vision blurred as tears slid down her cheeks, some even clinging to her lashes. Battoussai had appeared and she'd jump at the chance to feel his caress, to savor his kisses. He of course had done with her all that she pleased and even things she didn't know she wanted. He hadn't merely touched her. He had possessed her

Kaoru silent sobs grew to whimpers.

It's true she'd once loved him, very much in fact. What she didn't understand is why she still had feelings for him? Her anger and hate where still there of course just as strong as when she'd died but it seemed, at least at the moment anyways that she was angry at Kenshin and not Battoussai. Everything was becoming more complicated. Because though she hated Kenshin she desired Battoussai. And the more she saw Kenshin the more he seemed to regress.

Kaoru's shoulders shook as she cried. She had known deep in her heart that she couldn't possibly enter a relationship with Kenshin of all people and not leave unscathed. She might in the end, be able to walk away but she wouldn't get far. No spell or potion would be able to help her then. She would fall. His destruction would also be her own. She knew that now. It was times like these she whished she'd never woken up from that damn sleep she'd fallen into when she'd been in New York.

*************

Kaoru lifted her head, looking around; it seemed she'd fallen asleep in the tub again. She yawned as she pulled the plug and turned the shower on. Slowly she stood letting the light spray wash over her body. All the alcohol and pills she'd been having were starting to mess with her head. She never would have thought that this is how she'd be living her life. Chasing after a man she hated though wanted him so she could ruin him. To make matters worse she needed alcohol-induced courage to do what needed to be done.

She wasn't a coward. She was just weak. There's a difference. She turned the water off and stepped out. She dried herself off and for the first time caught sight of reflection. She saw the bruises he'd left on her body. She walked closer to the mirror frowning in thought. She remembered the bruises on her hips because it'd happened on Friday but the others.

She saw several bite marks and hickeys on her skin. Her fingers grazed over the dark bruises on her left breast and the bite mark under the right. Two matching bite-marks, one on each hip right over her pelvic bone. She turned and was surprised to see more on her back. The one bruise that took her focus though was the one on her right buttocks. She didn't really remember that one at all so it must have happened Sunday. She sighed and put her robe on.

She looked at her reflection with critical eyes. Her skin was glowing and her eyes despite being a little red, sparkled. She was a depraved woman. She shook her head disapprovingly and reached for her toothbrush.

She would order out tonight. She wasn't in the mood for cooking she was barely able to function even as it was. Kaoru put her toothbrush back when she was done and reached for the eye drops. That would relieve the itching for a while. Tonight she'd at least be able to get some sleep.

She turned the light off and stepped out of the bathroom. She would put some clothes on before she ordered out. Slowly she walked back to her room. The sound of the doorbell made her pause. She half turned; it was Tuesday so that couldn't be him.

Quickly she walked over to the door, securing her robe on the way before she opened the door. "Kenshin?"

"You're not dressed."

His eyes took in her appearance, slowly drinking her in. The white terry cloth robe she wore seemed much too big but it was cute. She looked cute. "Is something wrong?" He said as he brushed a trail of tears away from her cheeks.

It was Wednesday. She'd slept through a whole other day. Kaoru was dumbfounded for a moment though eventually she found her voice. "No," she said stepping back. "It's eye drops, my eyes were bothering me. Come in." She said quickly walking away from the door.

Kenshin looked after her, finding her behavior odd. She hadn't even kissed him hello. He closed the door behind him and walked into the dinning room rather than the living room. He put the food he'd brought with him down and took a seat at the table.

A moment later Kaoru emerged in a pink baby-doll dress. It'd been something from her teenage years but it was the first thing she'd found. She was in such a hurry she'd barely even had time to put underwear on. She'd had to rush her dressing because she'd been busy making the bed. He thought the guestroom was her bedroom and she couldn't have him thinking otherwise.

"You brought food," She said as she entered the kitchen.

Kenshin though disappointed by the fact that she'd put clothes, was very happy to see that the dress she'd chosen was nice and short. And see through it seemed under the kitchen light.

"Kenshin, your not listening."

Slowly his eyes drifted past her curves and settled on her face. She was blushing something he found very endearing. "Repeat what you said."

Kaoru smiled and shook her head. "Never mind." She said as she began to pile food on their plates. He didn't seem to take notice of her response instead he went back to watching her movements. Two whole days without her presence had felt like an eternity. He'd wanted to see her, to talk to her but most of all he'd wanted to touch her.

Kaoru handed him his plate and was a little startled by his gaze. Though his eyes were still purple they burned with dark blue flames. Liquid metal eyes she knew.

He took the plate and dropped his gaze. He breathed in an effort to calm the raging chaos of his thoughts. He wanted to spend sometime with her, talk to her. See if he could convince her to go off with him. He felt her walk around the table before she settled on a seat to his left.

*************

Kaoru swallowed the pills, washing them down with tap water before she turned the faucet off. She dried her hands and checked her reflection. She dabbed a little lip-gloss and fixed her hair before she went back out to the living room. Anxiety was really pushing on her nerves today. With a last deep breath, she shut the light off and walked out to the living room.

She strove for casual but she was afraid he might still see the uneasiness she felt. She sat next to him so that their arms and legs touched. He was warm. "So," she began. "You look like you have something to say."

He put his arm around her shoulders, tucking her under his arm. He smiled at her observance. "Aa." He answered, rubbing her arm. He had thought about this all day long and decided that subtlety would be his best bet. He turned his body so that he could talk to her face to face but was caught off guard by the small hand that settled on his lap, patting him soothingly. His eyes moved from his lap, slowly back to her face, whatever she had meant by the small gesture was lost on him. All he knew was that it provoked him.

Gently he took Kaoru's head in his hands; he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Kaoru fought the urge to flee when he cupped her face even after all they'd done she still felt the need to runaway. Despite that though, when their lips touched she leaned into him.

He pulled back after a few seconds. His gaze had become clouded again. Looking at her face, so close, it was melting his restraints. He leaned in again this more forcefully, nipping and licking her lips. He tipped her head back kissing her almost savagely. Kaoru gripped the front of his shirt trying to keep her thoughts. But he was insistent; kissing her until she forgot her name and her vision swam. She gasped for air when finally released her. Her eyes where tightly shut as she struggle to regain her breath.

Kenshin's breath came in short puffs that stirred her fringe. His blood burned with a fervent need, a need that seemed to increase the more he kissed her. Having caught his breath, he looked at her as his thumb ran over her bottom lip, caressing the fleshy skin. Her eyes were slow in opening but when they did, she gazed at him with near black colored eyes. The look incited his heart and he could feel the changing in the color of his eyes. His voice was low and rumbled deeply when he spoke. "Go away with me."

Kaoru's mouth opened in surprise.

I hope you liked this chapter. I was iffy about it. I liked chapter thirteen best but I guess they can't all be like that. :::Sigh::: More Battoussai would have been nice though.

No small notes for this chapter, I don't believe there's anything I need to go over but if you have questions email me.