Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at kaoru_koishii@yahoo.com

Chapter Eighteen

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Kaoru brushed her fingertips over her breastbone. She'd lost five pounds in less than a week. Too much time in bed and not enough nourishment was having it's told. Kaoru sighed and moved away from the sink, leaving her reflection behind as she left the bathroom.

It was past one a.m. close to two. She'd done all the housework and the cooking for the weeks. She yawned feeling sleepy. She shouldn't have waited till Friday night to begin the housework not to mention the cooking.

She sat on the bed a moment, massaging lotion over her hands. She'd already taken a sleeping pill and fixed the things she would need for the next day. So there was nothing else to do but sleep, it wouldn't be long before he was home. She rubbed the last of the lotion over the back of her neck before she began to braid her hair. A loose braid that she let rest over her chest.

She was wearing formal pajamas but she didn't think he would mind, they were dark-blue and slinky, made of imported silk. She laid her head on the pillow and drew the blankets all the way to her chin. The room was cold so it wouldn't be long before she fell asleep.

A cold breeze stirred the curtains, washing into the room. It wouldn't be long before he came home, she thought as a dark abyss rose around her waking thoughts, drawing her down into a bottomless place where sleep existed without dreams.

Darkness reached out its clammy hand holding her close while she slept, shadows played around her form seemingly ready to attack. Frowning in sleep, she tossed and turned finding no rest in her abyss.

It was sometime before she settled as heat finally seeped into her bones casting off the swarthy figures surrounding her form. Contentment filled her breath and she sighed as she relaxed at last.

Kaoru turned, seeking the moving warmth. She tucked her head under her pillow trying to adjust herself back into a comfortable pose. Finally she opened her eyes, finding that no matter which way she turned her pillow was much too firm. She half rose on her elbow somewhat surprised to find her companion already home. A glance towards the window confirmed in fact that it was already morning. It hadn't felt like she'd slept at all, she wasn't tired but it felt like she'd only closed her eyes and turned. She kept herself from sighing and slowly moved off the bed.

Her steps were slow as she made her way across the room, she slid a drawer open and removed the clothes she'd picked out the day before. She glanced at the bed noting he hadn't moved. He could be pretending for all she knew he always stirred when she rose from the bed unless he purposely chose not to. Her eyes narrowed as she moved towards the bathroom, there were too many tendencies he still retained.

One Valium table was good for twelve hours she knew. This would be the first time taking the dose and so she would be counting the hours to see just how well it worked. With long drink of water she washed the pill down. Her watched confirmed the time as ten minutes till eleven, a perfect time for brunch. She made quick work of getting ready, putting on her long sleeved turtleneck after her pants. Giving herself the chance to dress the wound on her arm, it wasn't as big as it was been Monday in fact it had already begun to scab. She added a bit of ointment on the wound before she put a new bandage on. Once done she rolled the sleeve of her shirt down and put the turtleneck on.

Lastly she washed her face and teeth before brushing her hair. After a sprits of perfume she was done. Moving towards the door she put her ear against the door, listening for any possible movement. After a long moment of silence she dared, quietly and with extreme care, she opened the door.

He was as she had left him, sleeping on his back with his face facing her side. She moved her eyes away and crept out of the room. Shaking her head once outside, the things she did to surprise him.

*************

Kenshin walked down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, he had waited for her to come back to bed but it seemed she had left him in favor of something else. It was close to eleven thirty and by her standards they should both still be in bed. He frowned as he looked around the living room, finding it empty he moved on to the next room. A quick glance into the kitchen confirmed her absence there as well.

His ears perked up at hearing movement in the back and stalked towards the garden where he then stopped. Kaoru stood with her back to him, obscuring his view with her form as she looked out into the yard. Amber flicked across his gaze as dark humor sparked a fiendish intent. Slowly he crept behind her and clasped a hand over her mouth. A startled shriek emerged from behind his hand as fear gripped her still. He pulled her close hiding his nose in her mane. "I waited for you to come back."

Kaoru breathed again at the sound of his voice and relaxed into his hold. She'd panicked for a moment forgetting he was in home. He moved his hand away from her mouth and turned her in the embrace. Her face was flushed and she breathed a bit hard but it was her eyes that stole his attention, dark and narrow, they promised him wrath. Instinct kept his hold on her hands, an assurance of sorts, to keep her from beating him.

"Kenshin-baka."

He almost smiled at the admonishment; her tone was light so she couldn't really be that mad. After a moment a smile broke over her face, finding that she couldn't stay angry with him for very long. "I was going to come get you," she said turning her head back towards the yard. "'I have brunch for outside."

He moved his head a bit, surprised that she'd gone through the trouble of setting up a picnic for them in the yard. He released the hold on her arms and waited for her to lead.

Kaoru took hold of his hand and dragged him behind her. The weather agreed with her thoughts, being nice and cold without wind and bright without sun. She sat him on a dark blanket she had already laid out. Her smile was large, setting off the color of her eyes when she looked at him. Glancing at him through her lashes from time to time while her hands busied themselves, pilling food on a plate. She handed him the plate and paused, watching him take a taste of her food. "Do you like it?"

He nodded, feeling his heart skip a beat as a look of joy crossed her face. Kaoru filled a plate and set it next to him, he frowned not understanding why until she crawled closer to his side. A ghostly smile settled over his lips. She wanted to eat right next to him. "Did you fix all of this last night?"

She nodded as she bit into a bacon piece. "I thought it would be nice."

Again he nodded and wondered what could have set her spirits up so high. Kaoru dipped her pancake into a syrupy sauce before she took a bite; she paused when she noticed the blankness in his eyes. She dipped her pancake again and set it against the tip of his lip. His gaze fell on her as he bit the offered piece. "Eat," she ordered licking the fingers she'd fed him with.

His eyes fell on her lips and he realized he hadn't really had his morning kiss. She seemed oblivious to the heated look in his eyes as she munched away on her brunch. Inwardly he sighed and stepped on the growing desire that had flared up.

Kaoru pushed a bacon piece into his mouth, wondering why he seemed so absent today. She frowned a bit and decided that it would be best if she fed him instead. Liking he idea she smiled again and pushed the rest of her strawberry into his mouth.

Not really bothering to chew, he swallowed the berry and kissed her lightly on the lips. She smiled at him and pecked his lips lovingly. "You have to eat Kenshin."

A look must have passed over his face he surmised because a soft laugh broke past her lips. She kissed him again then stuck a piece of toast into his open mouth. He wanted to ask what had made her so happy but he was afraid that if he drew attention to her behavior she would try to control the reaction. So he let it be, watching her eat off his plate and enjoying the caress of her fingertips when she fed him.

"That was good." He complimented as she took the plate out of his hands.

"I'm glad you liked it," she voiced as she put the plates away. She handed him a cup of juice as she put everything back into place. He had eaten everything she made and it had surprisingly put her in a good mood. She moved the cushions she'd brought out with her and placed them behind his back. Patting a couple in place before she moved back to her original spot. Kaoru knelt in front of him and took the cup out of his hand. His eyes followed her movements as she took a drink from the glass then handed it back. His gaze fell on the glass in his hand again until Kaoru yawned, bringing his attention back to her face. She moved closer to him, nuzzling his neck. "Finish your juice."

He obeyed the command, drinking the remainder of the juice in one quick gulp. The cup was taken out of his grasp by her small hands. Hands that pushed against his chest afterwards until he settled against the cushions she'd laid out. She settled her body over him, laying her cheek against his chest, she sighed and closed her eyes as she wrapped herself around his form.

A soft cloud full of warmth settled over her thoughts as the lure of slumber drew her back. She snuggled closer into the warmth until streams of silver and cords of light led her to a place just beyond the stars.

Kenshin felt her body settling against him, relaxing as his arm came around her waist, holding her close as she fell asleep. He knew she'd gotten up early and she'd obviously gone to sleep pretty late for her to be this tired. A yawned escaped him and he knew he should probably take some rest as well.

Monday, when he'd come home she'd been upset but when asked what was wrong, all she'd said was that it'd been a nightmare. She'd woken up crying then but she didn't recall why. She only knew that what was left was a feeling of dread, one that had remained with her the rest of the day.

He'd spent the whole week loosing sleep over her troubling dream. Kenshin shook his head and settled further into the cushions. A short nap seemed welcomed despite the hour of the day. She would be able to sleep at his side and now he could sleep knowing she was fine.

He secured his hold on her waist before he threaded the fingers of his right with those of her left and settled their hands back onto his chest. Kaoru gripped his hand in sleep, bringing it closer to her chest. Kenshin smiled then closed his eyes. Her warmth called out to him and he gladly answered the call. His head settled on the cushion as he took a breath. Jasmine, he thought would forever be a reminder to him of the woman he loved. Smiling, he fell asleep.

*************

The change in weather brought him out of slumbers grasp. A drop of moisture fell on his nose causing him to look up. The cloudless sky was now full of large angry clouds. Dark and ready to burst, they hovered over the sky. He sat up, careful not to wake her. Slowly he stood, feeling his muscles protest at not having stretched before he lifted her up. Though once he held in his arms, he could feel a slight change in her mass. He made a mental note to ask her later if she'd lost some weight.

Kenshin strode across the yard and back into the house. Finding that the house in fact was a lot warmer than it had been outside. He laid her on the sofa and headed back outside.

Kaoru stirred, feeling her warmth leaving, she half opened her eyes, enough to see his crimson locks disappearing around the corner. Yawning she sat up and rubbed her eyes. A glance to the clock on the mantle told her it was twenty past four. She yawned, thinking, not bad for a nap. She stood and slowly made her way back towards the yard.

Yawning she paused just outside the living room, Kenshin seemed to need no help bringing the stuff in. He brought everything back in just one trip while she'd made seven. He strode into the kitchen, setting everything down on a table.

"Let's go out to dinner," she suggested as she came into the room. "It's raining;" he pointed out as he spread the blanket open.

"I didn't plan to eat in the park." She quipped "I thought we could bring the food back," she said as she approached. "You can build a fire when we get back." She wrapped her arms around waist and looked up at his face, noting there was something different in his eyes.

Dark pools of cobalt urged his assent, "Go get a coat so we can go." He said, watching her smile a sec before she ran off.

*************

Reason seemed to be absent today but then so did all her distress. Her behavior was traitorous yet her thoughts didn't seem to catch onto the fact at all. She smiled and she spoke, patting his arm and squeezing his hand. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck, allowing him the chance to stroke her hair or grasp her waist, she responded to it all with an affectionate smile.

She hadn't really let go of him since leavening the house so it came as no surprise when she took hold of his hand on the drive back. Kaoru looked out the window, there was too much rain to really see so instead she watched her breath fogging the windows until the car came to halt. "We're home, " she announced as she began to open the door.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. She turned to him with a puzzled look, "The keys," he said laying them on her palm. "Oh," she smiled, giving him a quick kiss before she dashed out of the car. He shook his head and followed behind, carrying two large takeout bags.

Kaoru stood at the entrance holding the door till he entered through. "I didn't think it would be so cold," She said closing the door. "I'll take the food; you go start the fire."

He did as he was told, not minding at all that she depended on him for any tasks at all. He walked into the living room and set about starting the fire.

Moment's later Kaoru entered the room dragging the blanket from their picnic behind her. He tossed in a few extra logs into the flames before he walked over to help her. "No, I can do it." She said holding a hand to his chest. "Sit."

Pulling her load just a few more steps, Kaoru threw the corners aside and pulled out all the cushions from before. A blank expression crossed his face, wondering why she would want all the cushions again. Quick work was made of tossing the cushion on the floor before she stepped out and brought the takeout.

"The light goes out in these parts, " she explained as she began to open a bag. "'It's better if we're comfortable." Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, not a second after she finished her thought, the lights flickered and died. "See."

Strange, he thought but didn't mention it. Sometimes it was better to just let things go. She was happy today and that's all he really cared about. She hadn't seemed this happy since he'd first met her. "Kenshin." His name brought a stop to his thoughts.

"Are you all right?" She leaned over the small table and put the back of her hand on his forehead. She'd made him put on a coat before they left so he couldn't have gotten sick. Even still it wouldn't happen so suddenly.

"I'm fine."

A dubious look settled on her face. He laughed and kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm fine."

"But if you were sick, you'd tell me wouldn't you?"

"Aa," He lied. Never would he say something that would upset her much less worry her. She took things to heart and at times she seemed to worry too much. A crinkle of her nose was her response and sometimes he swore she could read his thoughts.

On reading back I find that I do write with a lot symbolism and metaphors, so I apologize ahead of time. I'll guide you through this though I must admit I feel like I'm writing cliff notes for my book.

Small Notes: Kenshin's leave is from Saturday four a.m. to Monday morning at five a.m. That being said we can move on to her sleeping. When she goes to sleep, she feels cold and restless, like dark shadows hover over her form, a representation of her feelings. In chapter seventeen Kaoru explains how her hate as well as other ill sentiments intensify when she's alone. The fact that she grows warm sometime after she's fallen asleep indicates that Kenshin has come home and laid down with her. This is confirmed when she wakes up.

Kenshin's presence is a welcomed change. He seems to keep away the all-encompassing pull of distress that has been threatening her all week. Too much time alone, left with her dark thoughts has begun to fuel the already present conflict within her.

She sees battousai in gaze and knows that he retains too many qualities from before. What she seems to miss is the fact that she retains just as many from her past. These thoughts usually get pushed aside in his presence because she is weak against the amber-eyed fiend that lives within her current rival.

Though the hate seems elusive through out the day as her behavior has changed. Her mood and state of thought, she seems all but content to have him at her side.

Despite been glad Kenshin notices the change, she was a happy individual when they first began to date but as time progressed he began to see less and less of who she was before they met.

Oddly enough her sudden change is due to the sleeping pill interacting with her new medication that to the plain antidepressant itself. Either way the medication has suppressed all her angry thoughts.

Valium (generic name: Diazepam) is a member of the benzodiazepine family. Which are mild sedatives, useful in treating anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and muscle spasms. Though often used to sedate and relax an individual Diazepam is used for the short-term relief of symptoms related to anxiety disorders. So they are often used as antidepressants.

Like any strong medication there are side effects the most frequent of which are drowsiness, fatigue, and ataxia (loss of balance). Rarely, diazepam causes a paradoxical reaction with excitability, muscle spasm, lack of sleep, and rage. Confusion, depression, speech problems, and double vision are also rare side effects of diazepam.

Certain side effects are increased when a prescribed dose is taken with other drugs such as Acetaminophen, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, etc., Unlike antacids which may decrease the effects of diazepam.

That been explained we can move on.