Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the
creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump
Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for
entertainment only.
FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames,
I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0_o you may contact me at
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Chapter Twenty-two
*************
The day was gloomy and clouds covered most of the sky but to her Monday had never seemed so bright. Humming as she walked down the street, she was in a particularly good mood so she refused to think of why or how. Instead she focused on other things while she walked down the street. The wind stirred the hem of her jacket causing it to open from the front. Her gaze drifted, wondering what Kenshin might be doing. He'd left the house late, so she figured he'd probably been late for work. An insistent pulling tugged at the back of her mind but she ignored it finding it better to just enjoy the day without the constant turmoil.
Just as planned, Kaoru walked down the familiar streets making her way to Seibo Byoin also known as International Catholic Hospital in Shinjuku-ku. The hospital wasn't too far from her house. It's mainly why she'd volunteered here before. She'd worked out a schedule of the time she'd be able to volunteer, Monday through Friday from one to six, that way she could still run all her errands in the morning. Not just that but she'd be closer to Kenshin who lived in Shinbuya just a few meters from the dividing line. He could pick her up after work and they could go home together.
The white building stood tall and grand taking up the entire square of land. She walked in through the familiar doors, feeling a shift in the air. Her eyes seemed to refocus as she entered the lobby of the hospital. She'd wanted to be a doctor, once upon a time before she became sick. She paused suddenly wondering if she might still be stuck in the dream. A dark frown began to form and quickly she shook her head. She was being stupid.
Her eyes fell on a directory on the wall a reminder of what she was to do. She walked to the elevator and took it to the fourth floor. The bell rang and the doors opened, she stood a moment gathering her strength. She was still the same person. She didn't know why she needed the reminder but found it reassuring just the same.
Her step was slow and careful as she made her way to the nurses' desk. So many new faces, she thought as she approached. "Kaoru-chan?"
The tumbling in her stomach settled. "Tae, I can't believe it you're still here." Kaoru rushed around the large desk and hugged the older woman.
Tae only twenty-eight looked at Kaoru with sister eyes. "My how you've grown." She stated running her hand through Kaoru's hair. "I remembered when you barely reached my chin."
Kaoru pouted at the taunting. "I wasn't that short."
Tae smiled. "I'm going to take my break you guys." She called out to her fellow nurses before she ushered Kaoru towards the cafeteria. "So what's going on with you? It's been a while since I've seen you."
"Yeah I know almost four years." Kaoru filled in.
"So what's going on?"
Kaoru waited till they where seated before she answered. "Well I'll make the story short." She half smiled at her old friend. "We left Japan as you remember and a couple of days into our stay I got sick. I took about three years for me to overcome whatever it was after which papa brought me back. I was very weak when I got back and it took a long time for me to get back to how I was. I've been living here by self for the last couple months."
"What kind of illness was it?"
Kaoru shrugged. "They never found out what was wrong eventually my papa got tired of them running tests that never revealed anything so he just let it drop."
"So college?"
"I never got to go." Kaoru sighed regretfully. "But I'm still young and I still plan to go. With any luck I'll be able to attend NYU next fall."
"So you're still going to go out there with your dad?"
Kaoru nodded. "I am all he has."
There was a small pause where Tae, feeling Kaoru's mood decided to change tact. "So I'm surprised." Tae drawled. "You don't have a ring; does that mean you don't have a boyfriend?"
With a roll of the eyes, Kaoru answered. "I knew you couldn't be serious for too long?" Pausing. "I have someone."
"Is it anyone I know?"
Suspicion settled over Kaoru's blue gaze. "I'm betting you think you know?"
"Well now that I know you're here in Japan my suspicion is confirmed. I wasn't sure at first."
"Yeah, yeah," Kaoru interrupted so much for hiding her identity. "He's my boyfriend. We've been going out since September."
"How is he?"
Kaoru blushed all the way to her toes. She'd forgotten how forward Tae was. "So?" Tae prompted. Kaoru bit her lip. "Come on?" Tae enthused, leaning over the table.
Blushing wildly Kaoru looked away. "He's spectacular."
Tae squealed in her chair, clasping her hands to her chest. "You have to give me more than that, Kaoru-chan?"
"I'm not drawing anything out." Kaoru stated vehemently. A beeping sound drew both their attention to Kaoru's coat. She dug through the pockets until she came to her cell phone. "Hello?"
"Is it him?"
"Ssh," Kaoru gestured towards her friend.
"Koishii?"
"I'm here?" She answered cupping a hand to the phone.
"I just wanted to see if you were up yet?" Kaoru blushed at his words and turned her head away. "Is it him? Oh let me talk to him, please Kaoru-chan. Please." Kaoru tried to draw the phone away but her friend was persistent.
"Who is that?"
"My friend at the hospital?" Kaoru answered with an exasperated expression on her face.
"Hospital? Are you all right?"
"No," she interjected at the strain on his voice. "I mean I'm fine. I just came to visit my friend. I'd forgotten how loud she was."
"I'm not loud."
"Yeah," Kaoru nodded sarcastically.
"What hospital are you at?"
"Seibo Byoin, why?"
"Do you want to have lunch together? I'm only ten minutes away."
"Tell him yes, I want to meet him."
'Shut up,' she mouthed at her nuisance of a friend. "That's fine but I'll warn you now. You'll get harassed when you get here."
He laughed; the sound reverberated loud and sensual in her ear, causing goose bumps to form on her skin. "I'm in the cafeteria on the second floor."
"I'll see you in a bit then." He promised.
Kaoru clicked the phone off and turned back to her smiling friend. "Could you be any more embarrassing?"
"Yes," Tae answered, her smile growing wider at the blush that tainted her friend's cheeks. "So you were about to give me details." She prompted. "What?" She asked at the disbelieving look on Kaoru's face. "What?"
"I'm going to tell you now."
"Oh, come on." Tae said scooting her chair over.
"No, get over there, if I tell you something then you're going to start giggling stupidly in front of him and he's going to know I told you something." Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to spill the details of her relationship.
*************
Kenshin entered the large cafeteria, spotting her right away. She sat with her back to him, talking with a woman a bit older than she. He made his way across the room, gesturing to the other woman to remain quiet as he approached. "Koishii," he breathed into her ear.
Startled she turned, her lips brushing against his with the movement. He smiled and pressed his lips against hers before he took a seat next to her.
Kaoru blushed to the roots, biting her bottom lip, a nervous habit she'd never grown out of. Tae's grinning face only made matters worse, adding to the already embarrassing situation. "Kenshin, this is Tae. Tae this is Kenshin." They both bowed towards each other politely.
"I hope you don't mind eating here." Kaoru began. "I know it's your lunchtime and all."
"It's all right." His arms settled across the back of her chair, playing with strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.
"So Himura-san," Tae's cheerful voice disturbed Kaoru. "Are your intentions honorable?"
"Tae," Kaoru hissed. Kenshin laughed and held his girlfriend back from jumping over the table. "My intentions are . . . . . admirable wouldn't you say koishii?"
Kaoru blushed at the double meaning and refused to look at either one of them. "I'm not introducing either of you to anyone else."
Kenshin smiled and rubbed her back soothingly. "How long have you known Kaoru?"
"Kami," Kaoru muttered under her breath, hiding behind her hands. This conversation was going to take his whole hour. "I'll get you something to eat." She said as she began to stand. "And Tae I hope you remember that my cousin owns your house." She looked at her crossly before she bent and gave a Kenshin a quick kiss.
He watched her walk away before he turned his attention back to the grinning friend. He could see the questions been drawn together before they leapt from her mouth. "So are you going to marry her?"
"Right to the point." Kenshin commented.
"I love Kaoru like a little sister and I'm sorry to say that you haven't been portrayed so well by the media, what with all the girlfriends. So are you going to marry her?"
"When she's ready," Kenshin paused. "We'll talk about it."
Tae frowned. "What do you mean?"
Kenshin found it uncomfortable talking about his relationship with a stranger. "Haven't you asked her if she'd like to?" She persisted.
Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly. "We just me." His tone dropped an octave.
"So, some people marry on the first date."
Kenshin gave her a skeptical look.
"What? You don't believe in love at first sight?"
His eyes moved away from her to where Kaoru stood in line. He hadn't before he met Kaoru but after being with her. He'd realized that's what he must have felt when he first saw her so long ago. Catching that first drop of rain with her tongue. His eyes went back to Kaoru's friend.
Tae grinned at him. "I can tell you now Kaoru isn't the most perceptive of people." She sighed. "She won't now how you feel if you don't tell her."
An expressionless facade had settled on his face. Understanding what he was being told, just refusing to give away what he felt. He somewhat nodded. "Kenshin?" He looked up, finding Kaoru's face hovering over him. "Are you all right?"
"Aa."
Kaoru placed a bowl of food in front of him before she sat back down. "What where you talking about?" She asked Tae, knowing she could read her friends face better than Kenshin's.
Tae grinned again. "Just discussing what you'd named the kids."
Kaoru flushed, her lips parting in surprise. Despite being embarrassed she turned her face towards Kenshin. The corners of his mouth where turned up and she could see something in his eyes, something familiar though she couldn't name what it was. She sighed and turned her face away from them both. She shouldn't have left them alone.
*************
She'd been walking around for hours, going around in circles. The wind had grown colder since leaving the hospital, she thought as she walked down some of the older streets in Tokyo. She found it difficult to differentiate between what she felt, with what she was supposed to feel. There was something stirring, some emotion she thought she might not be able to control.
Children.
The thought had never really crossed her mind, not since meeting him. She'd always assumed that it would be him and her, just the two of them in that last instant before everything shattered. All these hours walking, she'd come to realized that maybe her plans where too rushed or maybe she hadn't given things enough thought. She'd wanted to be done with her vengeance by January third after which she'd run away. Far away, hiding under her father's sheltering shadow until she was strong again. If she ever recovered that is.
That plan however, seemed too unrealistic. Perhaps it would be best if she left. Try again in the next life, she felt weak, like she'd taken a terrible blow today. And she knew that as smart as it would be to walk away, she couldn't. Her feelings for him were too strong. She couldn't stand to have someone else look at him not to mention touch him. Never while she was alive and aware of his existence.
The sky blurred into dark shades of gray and black, perfect for the mood she was falling into. The storm would go well with the stirring turmoil inside her heart. The feelings she'd kept pushed down the last few weeks were finally breaking free. She'd thought that if she ignored the anger, pretended that there was no hate, that maybe she'd be able to live with him. For a moment she'd thought she might be able to keep him.
She'd thought that with the right medication she'd be able to stay with him, repressing all the anger and anything else that might spring up. But eventually she'd want children with him and if she ever left the medication. She could honestly say the outcome didn't look too good.
Kaoru slumped against a tree, sitting down on the ground. Her thoughts became bitter. The more she thought about little redheaded children the closer she came to tears. It wasn't fair that she should be punished along with him. She hadn't done anything wrong and yet she would be the one to suffer till life became too much to bear. At which point Kami would spare her or she'd spare herself. Kaoru sat starring at nothing for a long time. Everything centered on a single thought. Wasn't there any escaping it?
*************
Small drops of rain had begun to descend from the sky, littering the floor with tiny dots. The day was waning and she ran, hoping to get there before they closed. The doors chimed when she entered the familiar shop. Smelling spices and herbs as she made her way further in.
"I haven't seen you in while child. How are you?"
Kaoru looked at the old woman. "Not so good Wei."
"Come to the back then."
Kaoru followed the sorcerers to the back. Hoping against all hope that she might be able to reinforce the spell she'd cast. They both entered the room taking their usual seats, opposite each other with a small table between them. "Did you come to see the past?"
Kaoru shook her head; she didn't need anymore reminders of how happy she'd been. "No I was hoping you could reinforce the spell. I know you said it was temporary and that eventually everything will break free but I was hoping you might be able to extend it, just for a while longer."
Wei looked at the young woman in front of her, despite the weeks that had passed between sessions. She still had the same expression on her face. "Are you sure you don't want to try the love potion?"
Kaoru blinked back a surge of overwhelming tears. "I have thought about it. But I don't think that's right for me." Her voice wavered and she paused. "I feel that if this hate has transcended time it's strong enough to survive a potion. And if I should marry him," She paused and viciously wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks. "One day I might snap and cause harm to someone other than him. Our children." She couldn't elaborate but her thoughts still finished their path. Their children, they'd always looked like him and if she was crazy she might hurt one of them by mistake. She couldn't take that chance. She wouldn't risk the lives or the happiness of her would be children by going crazy one day, acting against the man she'd loved until the moment she'd gone insane.
For them to be happy she would have to be sane and completely free of the hate. She made herself no illusions, knowing something like that had a one in a million shot of happening. Wishing wouldn't make anything better and so she had made her resolve.
"I need that bind reinforced." She felt desperate. All she wanted was to enjoy the time they had left. Try not to hide who she was so that he could really fall in love with her. Love her with all that he was because in the end perhaps when she was huddled in some corner of a sanitarium his love would be all she would have left. "Please Wei, tell me you can reinforce it."
Wei chose to nod instead of speaking feeling her voice would crack with emotion. She stood and began moving around, preparing all that was necessary to reinforce the spell.
Kaoru set her head on the small table feeling tears trailing down the sides of her eyes but unable to stop them she just let them be. Her thoughts circled around her obsession, around the haunting image of one man. He who controlled who she'd been and who she'd be again. Her eyes no longer blinked, remaining open as if in a trance. Her head felt like it was being split open while her heart shrank into the shadows. This was for the best. She was too weak. She couldn't fight against the stronger emotions from her past.
"Kenshin," her lips formed his name. For you Kenshin, I'll bind my emotion as many times as I can. Swallow as many pills as it takes. So I can love you, even if only for a little while. So that I can feel a bit of what I once knew.
*************
She walked in the rain, feeling calmer than she had in a long time. The air was chilling almost achingly cold in her lungs. But it felt good; it helped clear everything up. She jogged the last couple of footsteps to her house before she suddenly paused. Standing still some feet from the door. Rain drizzled over her head she was surprised that her hands didn't shake. But most importantly her heart didn't leap like it had as of late.
Kenshin eyes had settled into slits. The sky was dark and it was raining, so of course anger was what leapt into his gut at seeing her dripping wet. "Why didn't you call me if you needed a ride?" He walked down the steps and pulled her under the shelter of her porch. His tone was crisp almost cutting. He took the keys from her hands and unlocked the front door. Pushing her before him, he then proceeded to lock the door.
"Have you been here long?" She asked once they reached the bedroom.
"Long enough." He paused at the door. "Where were you?"
"Running an errand." Kaoru let her jacket fall into a heap at the floor. "I didn't think I'd see you today. It's Monday and our dates are usually Wednesday's and Saturday's." She put on her robe, tightening the sash before she shimmied out of her pants and underclothing.
"I see." His tone of voice had a dangerous undertone something she picked up on right away. She paused in her changing and on seeing his face she realized she'd upset him. "That's not what I - I didn't mean anything by it." She amended. "It's just - I would have come home earlier." Her explanation didn't seem appease him. "I'm sorry." She looked at him giving him her undivided attention.
The look in his eyes only added to the coldness she'd felt since leaving Wei's shop. A feeling which had yet to leave. She'd hoped that it was because it'd been raining, she still hoped that's all it was because the alternative would devastate her. She went to him, standing close enough to place her hands on his chest. Where was the warmth she usually felt? "Kenshin?" Why wasn't her heart racing?
An emotionless mask lay over his face emphasizing his eyes, which like gems remained cold and unchanging. "Where were you?"
"Downtown, in one of the older sections. I made friends with an old woman named Wei. I often visit her Monday's but I usually go in the morning never this late." Her hands had fisted around the lapels of his jacket standing as close as she could get without stepping on his toes. "Please don't be angry."
His expression remained fixed and for a long time neither said anything. Eventually he nodded. "You need to call me when it's like this." His hand cupped her cheek. "I don't mind taking you where you want to go."
Kaoru nodded obediently. "I have some clothes I've bought for you. Let me get them so you can change." She stepped away from him and dug into the last drawer of her dresser. Pulling out several articles of clothing before she found what she what she was looking for. Black silk pajamas with his last name embroidered on the top left pocket. "Here." She handed it to them gently.
He took them, sliding his hand over the material. She knew he didn't like sleeping in clothes but she'd bought them with a purpose in mind. "Do you want me to stay?"
She nodded again. "I'll make us dinner while you change."
"Kaoru?" At the call of her name, she half-turned. Pausing at the door she regarded him with an expectant gaze. "Is everything all right?" His voice held no inflection and his face was just as closed off. His eyes however bore into hers, trying to see beyond the facade she showed.
The corners of her mouth tilted up with the barest of smiles. "Everything's fine." She responded, gazing gently at him before she turned away, leaving him alone in the darkened room. She made her way into the kitchen, a deep frown on her face.
She could feel the change, the shift in her behavior. There was something wrong with her. There had to be because she always reacted differently when he was angry. That reaction was absent today. Her heart beat softly, so low in its rhythm she laid a hand over her breast, assuring herself of it's pace. What she'd said . . . . .
She could hurt him.
So easily, without even meaning to.
She wasn't happy but neither was she sad.
Kaoru leaned against the kitchen wall, realizing that perhaps she'd hoped for too much. She stood there, eyes glazed as she stared into nothing. What would happen now?
*************
A large vase flew across the room shattering into a tiny dozen pieces when it hit the wall. Large bits of glass and chucks of pottery already littered floor. Her breath was slightly shallow but that's all, no matter what she did, anger refused to surface. The bind was meant to repress feelings not block all of them out.
A cup flew across the room shattering in the same spot as the vase. What the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't she have let well enough alone? A half-filled wine bottle joined the ranks of its brothers shattering just above the dent in the wall. She'd cleared the table of everything there was, cups, silverware, plates.
This is not how she'd planned to spend her anniversary. She tossed the chairs out of her way, turning them over in her wake. She'd meant to repress her anger so that she could enjoy her time with him. That's why she'd gone, that's why she'd done it this time.
She couldn't even cry. She knocked over a lamp in the living room and yanked the phone off its cord. If she could only feel angry, anything at all would be better to the empty feeling inside. It was worse than being alone. She sank to her knees over all the broken glass, grasping some of the larger pieces with her hands.
He was upset, he said he felt like she was drifting away. Kaoru squeezed the shards of glass, wincing as they cut into her skin. A stinging sensation began behind her eyes and she waited. Waited for tears that didn't come. She squeezed the shards tighter shattering them in her grasp.
She'd thought her mind would be enough to create memories she could later look back to but it seemed her heart was needed for that. Life was more than unfair to her. She wanted to cry and cry until all the tears were gone.
The first time, she'd told Wei to cast the spell because she'd wanted to repress her soft feeling, keep them from interfering with her ultimate goal. This last time she'd gone because she'd wanted the darker feelings locked away. She knew him now and she'd been willing to bind her emotions or whatever else it took to have him while she could.
"This isn't fair." She pounded on the broken glass, feeling blood splattering her face. She looked at the pooling blood with only mild fascination. After all the destruction she thought she'd at least be somewhat angry.
Maybe it was time she admitted that Kenshin might not be meant for her. She saw her hands begin to tremble and she wondered, was it because she was loosing a lot of blood or was it because the thought of him and some else enraged her beyond the standards of a sanity.
"It has to be anger." She thought because her stomach began to knot. Her hands were cold as ice and even though she saw her hands were bleeding she no longer felt any pain. Maybe I'm going into shock. It couldn't be an anxiety attack she didn't have any anxiety. Kaoru sighed woefully; she should have just stuck things out with the pills.
She looked at her black dress, swiping a way some shards of glass from her breast. It was a long sleeved turtle neck dress that fell three inches from her knee. It was form fitting, accentuating her curves, and hugging all the right places. He would have liked it she thought absently. She'd bought it just for this day. Her hands settled on her sides, far away from her dress.
Why did he pick their anniversary of all days to become upset? All week she'd tried to act as if everything was all right. She'd kept up with her their dates, her volunteer work and even her kempo. Her mannerism was the same, her reaction to things might have been slower but she'd tried, desperately even to hide the fact that her feelings weren't all in place.
Why did you have to go on vacation Wei? It would be so easy for her to reverse this. To let her go back to how she'd been last week. Still in turmoil but at least she would've been able to see that flash off gold she loved so much, the heat of his hands as they settled on her hips or the brush of his lips against her neck. She would be able to feel him and hold him even if there were doubts later.
She didn't know the bind would be so strong. But then dark magic was something to be weary of. She didn't trust anyone else to do a good job of removing the spell, afraid they might undo everything and that she did fear. The heights to which her feelings had soared, she couldn't be sure, she only knew that they had to be strong because the misery she'd felt when she'd gone to Wei last week was only a bit of what she actually felt. She would just have to wait, either for Wei to come home or for the binds to loosen. Both of which seemed to want to take their time.
It was sometime before Kaoru tried to stand but when she did she found that her energy was spent. Still she tried and she struggled, slowly crawling out of the glass, making her way out of the living room. She collapsed on the floor just a step into the hall. Her breathing came out in short little puffs. She was getting sleepy she realized and sleeping on the hardwood floors, was not the best of ideas.
She closed her eyes, gathering her strength before she rose feeling a little stronger than before but not by much. Her knees ached and her hands stung as she used them to help her stand. Slowly she rose, staggering in her step. She reached the bathroom, leaving blood on the wall as she turned on the lights.
Getting out of her dress was harder than she'd thought as she tried to pull it off with injured hands. Her shoes she left on, knowing there was no way she'd be able to get them off. She stepped into the shower and turned it on. The water ran red; thick at first with her blood but the more it ran the thinner it became until finally it all but cleared to a pinkish shade.
After sometime she stepped out. Finally feeling awake, her hands reached for towels instead of her terry robe, aware that it was her favorite. She dried herself off as best she could before walking over to the medicine cabinet.
Her right hand wrapped around a bottle, opening it quickly despite the ache of her hands. Two painkillers, she hoped was all it took. She bent and opened the coverts underneath the sink, pulling out a bottle of rum and a first aid kit.
It was twenty minutes before she finished, having removed the last bits of glass from her hands and knees. Though her knees weren't nearly as bad as her hands, having only tiny cuts while her hands had large gashes in the middle of the palms.
She applied the ointment Wei had given her once before she wrapped her hands with gauze and only band-aids for her knees. Once done she left the bathroom holding the bottle of rum awkwardly with her wrists. She avoided looking at the house knowing it was a mess. She simply strode past things as she made her way to the guestroom where he and she usually slept.
Her room was dark and cold much like it always was. But she was used to the dark and had no trouble moving around. She set the bottle on the floor before she turned the covers back. She hated sleeping with shoes on but it would have to do, she settled herself in before she reached for the rum. A sane person would never, the thought fleeted through her mind but she dismissed it. She was aware of what could happen, mixing alcohol with painkillers but she was only going to take two drinks, just enough to hurry the pills along.
She lay on the bed feeling the chill of night, reviewing everything that'd happened. After a while she came to the conclusion that perhaps she'd been wrong in thinking she could be with him. What had made her think she could go against her hate anyways? Maybe that's why she couldn't feel anything. It was punishment for going against herself. Shivering she pulled the blanket closer to her chin. She should quit been stubborn and just admit defeat. Accept it and go back to her original plan. Sighing, she took two consecutive drinks from the bottle she held before setting aside. Sleep she would, not because she wanted to but rather because it was necessary. She had a lot to do tomorrow, cleaning the house been the first before she even thought of how to approach him.
*************
The constant pounding she realized was not of her headache but of the door. She stood up almost falling, she'd forgotten she still wore the stilettos. She pulled the silky blanket she'd been sleeping under and wrapped it around her form as she made her way down the hall. Though secure she clutched at the front of the blanket. Unlocking the door without thinking, she swung it open.
Kenshin stood looking angrier than she'd ever seen him before. His eyes were already liquid pools of gold that only narrowed after seeing her state of dress. "I called you."
Her mouth had parted in surprise and looking behind him, she realized it was still night or maybe sometime around dawn. Her eyes went back to his and it was only then her heart began to race. "I must have not heard." She answered.
Kenshin pushed passed her only to have her hand grasp his arm. "I rather you not." She firmly said.
"Am I interrupting you?" He yanked his arm away from her grasp and strode in, leaving her standing at the door. Kaoru stood by the open door, afraid to go in. Thinking, this was not the best of times for the binds to loosen.
It was less than a minute before he came back, slamming the door close and locking it. He pulled her left hand free from underneath the blanket. Bandages again. His eyes moved over to her breast, where her other hand hid underneath the blanket clutching it tightly. "Let me see." He demanded in a cutting tone.
Her hand tightened further making the wound bleed. "It's the same." She admitted.
"Were you with someone?"
"No," she snapped, looking at him crossly. "Were you?" She strode past him not waiting for his response. Unfortunately he moved faster and she didn't get very far. He shoved her against the wall gripping her forcefully. He looked at her wanting to strike her for being so stupid.
She could see it, the possessive feelings that flashed bloody murder had there been someone else. "Is that why you came?" She couldn't help goading him, he'd ruined their evening. "Cause you thought I'd be in the middle of something?" His grip tightened, hard enough to hurt. Still she kept a straight face, hiding the pain at his hands and accusations. Her eyes were dark and cruel, flashing with anger. "Did you want to catch me?"
"Don't," he warned.
"Screaming for someone who wasn't you."
He closed his eyes, trying to remain calm. Anger had never felt so overwhelming as it did at that moment. The urge to hurt that imaginary someone else was great, almost as tremendous as the need to punish her. "If you where anyone else Kaoru."
"You'd have fucked me and sent me on my way." She answered condescendingly. "I know."
At a loss for words, he released his hold on her, finding the temptation to strike her too great. Still his eyes glittered with restrained menace. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing, if that's all you came to ask." She began to move, stepping away less than half a foot before she was slammed back. She bit the inside of her lip as her head collided with the wall. Her eyes began to glitter feeling an overwhelming hate swallowing her whole. "I want you to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere. Not till you tell me what the fuck is going on in there." He pushed her head with his finger. "Now tell me."
Her lips and hands shook, she was so angry. The whole week she'd spent emotionless seemed to flood into her veins, feeling everything at once and she answered without thought. "I wanted to spend time with you today. It was our anniversary." Tears ran down her cheeks, slipping down her neck. "I made plans, reservations; I even bought a new dress. I - I had wanted." She broke off.
He reached out to wipe the tears off her cheeks but she slapped his hand away. Starring at him with cold chips of blue before she slapped him hard across the face. "I hate you." Her face paled and she repeated the action. "I hate you."
His eyes hardened and all emotion drained from his face leaving only a mask in place. "That's just as well."
Her heart sank into her stomach and she tried to move past him again but he held her in place. She struggled not wanting to hear the end of his sentence. "Let me go." She yelled as she fought against his hold.
"No," He pressed her against the wall with his body. "I'm not done fucking you yet."
Kaoru shut her eyes trying to block him out as he pressed opened mouth kisses on her jaw and throat. His hands roamed over her body possessively. Skimming under the blanket, touching over bare skin. "No." She gripped his arm as forcefully as she could.
"No, " His voice was a husky drawl while his eyes filled with concupiscence, glittering dangerously when her lips parted in a shallow breath. His fingers molded over her form, drawing her into haze of desire she wouldn't be able to escape. Stroking her flesh with a possessive and calculated intent before he pulled away.
Her eyes had fluttered opened and she was caught. She licked her lips feeling more than frustrated. "You would have to ruin this too." She accused.
A half smile touched the corners of his mouth while amusement and desire mingled in the swirling gold of his eyes.
"You ruined our anniversary." She held on to the argument stubbornly. "But," she paused following the movement of his tongue as he licked his lips. "We'll call it even it you apologize."
He laughed and drew closer to her again. "Do you hate me?" He asked setting a hand on her hip. Kaoru shook her head then stilled as he tucked his face into her neck, smelling the skin before he licked the side of her throat in a lewd stroke of his tongue. His expression was serious when he pulled back; his hands cupped her cheeks, running his thumbs over trails of dried tears. "I'm sorry."
"Me too." She nodded.
He had a feeling she didn't understand why she should be but he let it go, knowing she'd said things only to get a rise out of him. Her left hand pulled on his neck until she felt the heat of his body pressing her against the cold wall only then did she let her blanket fall. He caught her lips, kissing her with a dark hunger he'd always kept at bay. A cold flash ran through his veins as the restrains on his darker half shook till breaking free. He pulled her body close, growling deep in his throat as he crushed her against him, loosing himself in her heat and the panting of his name.
This chapter is edited. You have no idea how hard it was cutting parts from the end. Still I believe I did a good job in removing the racier parts without actually cutting out the content.
Still if you want to read the original chapter then just go to my website. If you don't read the racier version, at least read the Small Notes, which summaries everything for you.
Like always go ahead and email me if you have any questions. I have several stories I'm working on so if you ask me for a preview be sure I'll send it you, it might just take me a couple of days to send it out though.
Small Notes: For weeks Kaoru's been in a good mood choosing to ignore certain facts of her life. Happy in the misty truth she'd been living in until a reminder of what she can't have is pointed out. Children.
After several hours of deep thought she decides a course of action that betrays her original line of thought. She has the bind on her emotions reinforced, choosing to lock away the anger that eats her up inside. All for the chance to feel the love she once felt for him.
The spell however was cast too strong and for a while she can't feel anything. She tries to hide it as best she can, hoping he won't notice but he does. He tells her so and cancels the date on their anniversary.
She tries to get angry, breaking and destroying things all in an effort to loosen the binds. Unable to she picks up large pieces of glass, cutting her hands, hoping the pain will free her tears. Unsuccessful, she stands and heads for the bathroom where she showers and tends her wounds before heading off to bed. After a while she decides she was stupid for thinking she could love him. Considering defeat she fall asleep.
Kenshin shows up hours later, angrier than she's ever seen him before. His jealousy drove him to her home in the early hours of the morning. Assuring himself that she was indeed alone. At seen the mess of her house, his anger escalates, asking her if she's been with someone else.
Kaoru angry herself is truth when she denies her infidelity but she can't help goading him, drawing scenarios of what she could have done. The pain in her accusation loosen the last string holding her emotions back, she cries and slaps his hand away when he tries to wipe her tears. Still angry she slaps him across the face until finally she voices her hate for him.
The reaction is automatic as all emotion leaves his face. Still a part of him feels her lying and he uses the desire she feels for him against herself until finally she suggests a truce which is just an attempt to save face without truly giving in.
Agreeing to her truce, he kisses her, feeling alls right with the world until his restrains shake loose and the darker part of him breaks free.
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