Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only. FF can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments 0o you may contact me through the review button, since I can't get this DAMN Quickedit thing, to bring up my email address
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Chapter Twenty-Four
Life seemed beyond perfect and whatever the circumstances, whether they be real or not. A fantastic dream or even a side affect of magic, it didn't matter, at least not now, when she was so deliriously happy. So wondrously in love, her feelings for him encompassed everything and though she'd shied away from them at first, now––she didn't think she could live without him. His presence was too strongly needed; he was like the sun and she the flower. She lived for his caress. And though she knew somewhere deep down that this was wrong, that this could only lead to hurt and pain, so much pain, like before. She seemed to forget everything when she looked at him. His gaze, touch and voice, they did away with her sanity, leaving her helpless and wanting. Oblivious to the warnings of her heart or the tremors of her binds; she gave herself to him completely. Binding him with every touch and kiss, gradually enslaving his thoughts. Like before, ages ago in that world of silk and lies, devotion and deep seeded love. So much like before and yet so different all at once, because now, he stole so much of whom she was, he didn't seem to mind, loving her without question, thought or reason. He loved her wholeheartedly. And that alone was reason enough for her to forget . . . . if only for now . . . . .
Kaoru pressed a soft kiss to his lips, nuzzling him adoringly; she tucked her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent as though he were the very air she needed to fill her lungs—not to keep alive but to live. With him, always at her side, she could wish for nothing else. She needed nothing else, only him. Always . . . only . . . him. She closed her eyes and sighed, burying her face deeper into the ever-comforting warmth.
An old man cleared his throat, abruptly snapping her attention back to the present and reminding her of where she was. Her eyes flew open and she quickly stuck her hand into her pocket, ready to pull her wallet free when suddenly—a hand, warm and rough from years of hard work and practice with weapons, settled over hers, effectively stilling further movement. And so bemused, she looked at him, gazing at him questioningly.
He jerked his head sharply to the sides, shaking rogue strands out of his eyes, he said. "I'll pay." And laid money out on the counter.
He was pleasantly surprised when she leant back into him, kissing him fully on the lips. She murmured a soft 'thank you,' which he acknowledged with a simple nod before he took his change back off the counter and slipped it into one of his pockets. Loosing but a moments contact with her body before his arm slid around her waist again, pulling her in possessively towards him as he led her out of the small post office and into the street.
She turned to him slightly, shifting easily within the embrace. "Do you think he'll like it?" She asked, concerned even after mailing the gift.
"Aa," he reassured. "Because it's from you."
The corners of her mouth curved up slightly; she knew he sometimes said things very uncharacteristic for whom he was but even so, she couldn't keep herself from smiling. He almost never said anything that she might contrive as 'mushy' so she couldn't help but find it amusing when he did, like just now. Her grin turned impish and she slipped an arm around his waist, thinking herself a smiling idiot, she stifled her laughter and pulled him closer.
It was Friday, already the second week of December and she had but nine days before Christmas. Her father's present had just been mailed and she'd already bought the present for her cousin and a few friends. All she had left was Kenshin. It was corny the way they exchanged gifts every month but considering her state of being, it served its purpose. A lifetime of love wrapped around a great many gifts. Kaoru lowered her gaze trying to shake her bad thoughts away.
"Do you still want to go to Ameyoko?"
"No," She stated absently. "I'm getting fat."
He refrained from commenting. A woman's weight seemed like a touchy subject. Besides she'd put on less than five pounds and the only reason he knew that was because he'd been present when she'd weighed herself. Even so he was kind of hoping it wasn't regular weight she was putting on.
"I was thinking we could go to Isetan, do a little shopping and have dinner there." Kaoru voiced brining his inner thoughts to a halt. He nodded as his arms slipped off her waist and opened the car door. Holding it open while she slipped in, he closed it soon after and made his way around to the other side.
Kaoru, who waited eagerly for him to take his seat, began to speak the moment his door shut. "So I was thinking." And he looked at her as he started the car. "Could we get a tree?"
A tree.
She saw his brows knot in confusion and decidedly expanded on her previous statement. "A Christmas tree, you know get into the spirit of the holidays. I thought, well since I'm staying with you I thought it would be nice if we could celebrate.".
"Hhn," it seemed like every time they went out they bought something new for his apartment. He couldn't understand it and he had yet to ask her why. But if she wanted to, well -
Kaoru could read his face, could see the inner struggle and the moment he lost the argument within himself. The signs flashing ever so briefly, if she hadn't known him so well, she might not have been able to pick up on the subtle differences his expression showed. As it was, she hid a smile and waited but a moment before he answered.
"That's fine."
"Great, we can get the decorations today and the tree tomorrow." She already had an idea of where she wanted to put it and he had such a big house, it would look just like the magazine. Already, she'd bought him rugs, cushions, plants and she frowned trying to remember what else.
Kenshin openly smiled, seeing her deep in thought no doubt trying to rearrange his furniture in her mind. He idly thought that's how women must test men and how much they loved them. He could see Kaoru in her pink jumper; move the sofa over there, no further to the left, more. All right a bit more. Then pausing, you know what, I think I liked it better where it was.
As troublesome as it sounded, she eased everything with a smile or her laughter. The way her eyes glazed over after he kissed her or the way she sighed his name. He sighed himself then, knowing how helplessly in love with her he was. Kaoru abruptly turned, happy and bright eyed, she laid her hand over his, grasping him with reassuring warmth and strength. He half smiled at her. Knowing that what he wanted for Christmas, she couldn't so easily fit in a box, well perhaps a large box, he thought. Smiling wryly. He turned his eyes back to the road and shifted gears.
· · · · ·
He'd never been to the mall during the Christmas rush and now that he saw it first hand he was glad. Kaoru latched on to his left arm, pulling him away from the entrance. Weaving through a large crowd until she decided their first stop.
"A toy store?"
She turned to him, teddy in hand. "I volunteer remember. I need toys for the kids."
He nodded in understanding, following her through the aisles as she picked up things. He was handed a bag and found that to be easier since he was carrying everything. Kaoru tossed Barbie's, sailor scouts and all kinds of stuffed animals into the bag before heading over to the boy's side; there she looked to him for advice. Though not having had a normal childhood and as he never really got to play with toys, he merely agreed when she suggested something.
It was nearly an hour before they actually found their way to the registers and once there they still had to wait in line.
"Wow, how many kids do you have?"
The comment educed a rosy stain to spread over her cheeks and embarrassed, she cast her eyes to the floor, retreating into him as she sought a place to hide. Kenshin though amused hid his smile and held her close as they waited for the transaction to come to an end. And though it took a while, having picked out so many toys, she was quick to give her money up. Hastening the boy without words, she cast her eyes towards the door, hoping he kept quite and that Kenshin would quit smiling.
They left the toy store with five bags; two of which she insisted on carrying. Kenshin refused and though she was adamant in her argument, she didn't win. He was vehement in being the one to carry them though in the end he let her carry one, the lightest of all five. That is, after he took several things out.
Pouting, Kaoru snatched the bag from his hand. She'd wanted to help him; it wasn't like she couldn't have carried the bag if it'd been a bit heavier. Still annoyed she remained quiet, giving him the silent treatment until she saw a cotton candy vendor. "Let's take a rest." She said as she tried to pull him along. He was heavier than usual though so instead she settled for guiding him around a crowd of children.
He stood to the side while she bought her treat, a large fluffy cloud of the palest pink and blue. Delicious in its sugariness like only cotton candy could be. Kaoru licked her lips. "My dad would always buy me these," she said as she pulled him over to a bench, making him set down the bags as well as sit. He noted then as she did, that with all there things and him, there was no more room left on the bench for her.
On impulse, she sat on his lap, forgetting she'd ever been mad. She tore a piece of the cotton candy and stuck it into her mouth. "Mmm," she savored the taste, calmed by the tingle the sugar sent up her spine, she tore off another piece and brought it to his lips.
Kenshin looked at the her treat with dislike, all that sugar, the treat honestly didn't appeal to him but the moment her fingers touched his skin he opened his mouth. Allowing the sugar past his lips.
"I need to buy some baking supplies." She thought, biting into a large piece of a cotton candy. "Do you mind if we go to Hoshi's next?" She asked, putting a smaller piece into his mouth. At the shake of his head she nodded and patted him absentmindedly, eating her snack and feeding him from time to time. She ran over her list of things to do. Inwardly reviewing, she wondered if there was anything she might be forgetting. Looking around distractedly, she tried to think of what else she might need to give him the perfect Christmas.
Kenshin smiled at her expression, taking the offered bites she brought to his mouth. His thoughts wondered, trailing back to something he'd been thinking as of late . . . . . mainly, how anyone her age, could still retain such child like innocence, specially in this day and age and even after knowing death. It was hard for him to fathom and yet, he knew she'd been sheltered all her life, just as he knew it was more than possible for her to have remained so if he had never come along. She was still so young and so very naive—a contrast to him in almost everyway. He was older, more experienced and not innocent at all. They were as different as night and day. And yet, she never made him feel that way, what she made him feel was overwhelmed. His emotions—bared, unrestrained and raw, they were pushed to such great heights; they left only the most extreme and primitive feelings behind. He loved her with such a need and so strong a passion; it often overpowered him. And yet, it was during these times, these moments that he became acutely aware. Everything refined into crystal clarity, so sharp and fierce, he felt more than knew that what he felt for her went beyond the limits any human emotion could ever hope to reach, it was simply too strong to have been born.
She'd lured him more effectively than light ever could a moth. It was in her gestures, the way she looked at him and touched him. She had a way of making him feel like there was nothing beyond him, even before she'd confessed her feelings. She'd made him feel like he was her whole world. And the elation, he took from that compared to nothing like he'd ever experienced before. Even when lost in the haze of desire, the feeling was different. The elation of knowing she loved him sent a sort of calm through his system. So unlike their twining, when his feelings and desire, swallowed him whole. Raging through his veins like madness, so overwhelming in their assault of his control, they toppled him head first into chaos, and then there was no more. No restrains, no thoughts, no worries, there was nothing but him and her, and the séance of rhythms between their bodies and mouths, moving together in a desperate dance of love and desire, of passion and pain. Heatedly melting against one another in blind–violent pleasure, such mind shattering ecstasy—the very thought sent a cold flash of awareness down his spine.
And the contemplating look previously masking his face fell as her sticky hand touched the nape of his neck. His eyes, darkening with the slow brush of her fingers, kindled at the unintentional, eroticism in her caress. He knew she had yet to realize it but she touched him constantly, almost like she needed to feel him. He couldn't quite understand it but he exploited it shamelessly.
· · · · ·
Kaoru held the door wide open, bouncing in place as he pulled the tree into the house. And though leaving dozen's of pine needles in his wake, he knew that though he might have cared once about what a mess he was creating. Now, he could care less because one look at her bright face and he'd surrender. A pander to her every fancy. He thought it ironic, that now he of all people, should be led around by a woman.
Oh, how things change.
He inwardly smiled and let his eyes roam over the room. Noting she'd already set everything up, he thought, she waited only for the tree now and hurried to complete his task. While she, acting as if she'd read his mind, moved things out of the way, growing eager as he made the last couple of steps to the base. She gasped, as he, with one fluid movement stood it upright and with an even quicker flick of the wrist, unfastened the strings binding its small branches.
"That was great." She enthused, hugging him quickly before she tended to the tree and occupied herself with the task of getting it ready.
Kenshin, ever the one the one to indulge her whims, smiled and walked over to the sofa, where exhausted from his task, slumped into it and closed his eyes, briefly wishing they would hurry up and fix that damn elevator. He begrudgingly admitted that while seven floors didn't seem all that that high up, it was a hell of a lot more when pulling a pine tree seven flights of stairs.
Kaoru pressed a cold bottle into his hand then, watching his eyes flutter open, she smiled and released it to his grasp. Whereas he, taken by her sudden appearance, slowly came to realize it's contents. The beverage of his choice, she'd brought him sake, cold sake, to be more precise—just the way he like it. Kaoru.
She smiled sweetly. "I'll start dinner in half an hour, so try not to fill up." She advised, already turning her attention back to the tree.
He opened the bottle and took a swig, and while reaching for the control without preempted thought, he did turn the tv on. Putting it on some random channel, he watched her out of the side of his eye, following her movements as she swept up the pine needles littering the floor, quickly and efficiently before she once again turned her attentions to the tree. Touching it so tenderly, he suddenly wondered if this is how it would always be. Quite and still, like a dream, within a dream. So surreal—he abruptly rose, putting down his drink without ever consciously considering what he did or prompted him to silently make his way to her side. But there he stood just behind her, a mere hands way from his grasp.
His shadow fell over her light and she turned, about to ask what he wanted, when sight of his expression caught her still. His usually calm features were drawn together, masking his expression into something unreadable. And yet, not so undecipherable—not if she looked at him carefully. Unconsciously, her face softened and the words on the tip of her tongue, altered, amending a half–thought phrase. "Did you want to help me?" She asked. Gazing at him with her large blue eyes, she tried to decipher the reasons for his sudden change in behavior, this retreat behind a mask, it wasn't like him. This was more like–
"Aa."
And there was something in the way he looked at her when he spoke that made her pause. Made her heart beat a little faster and her eyes to light. A genuine smile blossomed over her features and though she'd yet to understand the reasons behind this sudden shift in personality or even what thought might have prompted such behavior, she smiled, knowing only that whatever it was, whatever affliction, she could fix it. She could soothe him and whatever demons he struggled with now.
Because he loved her.
And because she'd rather die first then ever admit that her affections, stronger than time itself, were not strong enough to cure his troubles. Whatever they may be. Her lips quirked into a wry grin and she mentally shook her head. Concentrating on him instead, she said, "here." And handed him a box of glass ornaments. "You can do the top."
Obediently, he nodded. Watching her still from the corner of his eye, he did as told. Working diligently beside her, it came of no surprise to him when minutes later, the small twinge of 'something' he'd felt, subsided, gradually changing into something else, more familiar. The odd feeling seemed to phase into a comforting sort of warmth, that all at once seemed to fill the hollow spots in his heart and mind, erasing his worries like only her presence ever could, always with her warm smiles and gentle kisses, so alluringly soft and soothing. She would make a good mother, he thought. Ignoring how the mere idea constricted his heart, he continued working, placing the tiny crystal spheres all around the top of the tree. Wondering despite his efforts, of what it would be like—for her—to bare him children. He wondered . . . . .
Forty-five minutes later, after the lights were turned down and the living room, now submerged in utter darkness and hiding his form from view, he called out to her patiently. "Ready?"
"Ready," she called back. And after a fast flicker, the lights around the tree came on. A few seconds later, he emerged from behind the tree and walked over to stand besides her, whereas soon as he was close enough, Kaoru ceased his arm. Squealing in a nearly breathless tone, "It's so beautiful."
At the sound of her voice, his head turned, shifting away from the tree to gaze down on her face. Lit by the various shades of color, each group, flashing in perfect union. He watched the reds beat together. Illuminating her features in a wash of crimson flames before the shade switched to blue and then to green, working their way through yellow before they flashed a whitish pink, an odd color he'd originally thought but she'd done such a good job in displaying them. He kissed her forehead and she backed away, smiling largely. "I have to make us dinner, still." She explained, unable to hide the mirth filling her eyes.
He blinked, bemused for an instant before he realized what she thought he'd meant and smiled. Purposely lowering his voice, he said. "I don't think that's what you want." And inched closer. "I think," and she shuddered as he pulled her close. "You want me."
His voice had the desired affect, mesmerizing her into a state of compliance, mute and immobile in his arms. He smiled knowingly, drawing out the last two words, he whispered, "To cook."
But in her haze, she could but blink. Her mind, a jumbled mess, tried to make sense of what she'd heard while the rest of her wondered when he'd lean down and kiss the rest of her thoughts away. And so she looked at him and waited. Waited patiently for that mind-numbing kiss to come and hurl her out of her skin. For that one light caress to send her heart into near arrest, so agonizingly sweet and tender, how passionate he could become, so incited—the mere thought of him in such state, clouded her ability to think. And though he laughed at her expense, he caught her in his arms, crushing his lips to hers, before any protest could be raised.
He kissed her thoroughly, leaving her dazed and panting. Breathing so hard against him, he rethought the idea of releasing her. And yet release her he did, dropping his arms from around her waist. "Go sit," he ordered gruffly, the edge in his tone barely masking his desire. "I'll make dinner tonight." He amended, much calmer, as he reigned back the need and hunger apparent in his tone mere seconds before.
Though to Kaoru, who still leaned so heavily upon him, face pressed close against his throat, heard nothing but a rumble and he sighed as he realized this seconds later when she didn't pull away and nuzzled him instead. "Kaoru," he tried again. Pulling slightly back and tilting her chin. "I'll make dinner tonight, go sit." He wooed, gently rubbing her cheek.
Kaoru half turned, looking over the couch and back at him. She shook her head. "I want to help you."
"You don't have to."
"But I want to." She offered, raising her chin for another kiss. He smiled and complied, giving her a long lingering kiss that swept everything in its wake, heating her blood and hazing her mind. He kissed her until she felt her skin hum, vibrating with a need only his touch could ease. So strong an ardor zinging through her veins, she swayed in his arms and he pulled back. Breathing ragged, he watched her eyes flutter open, ever so slightly at first, like the wings of a newly formed butterfly. They opened slowly, revealing two dark pools of blue that gazed at him rather sleepily as she tried, almost in vain one would think to catch her breath.
The sight she made, with her drowsy eyes and flushed face. Brought about an unexpected wave of male pride to fill his being. Knowing that a kiss was all it took to make her, his, starring at him with hooded eyes and slightly bruised lips. It was enough to unleash the dark hunger he kept at bay, always there, lurking just behind his eyes. Such possessive dominance, it tempted his every thought, coloring his reason and actions, crushing him beneath a white–hot feeling that too often overpowered him. And though he refused to let it dominate him, he did at times, find the pull to be too strong, yielding against his will, his senses drowned, sinking beneath the surface of his conscious until only the wildness remained.
Such love, such passion, he could not ignore it and because he knew this, admitted if rather reluctantly, that it'd be best to stop. Now before it became too hard and while he still had some semblance of control. And so, sighing under his breath. He drew back, hardening his heart against her whimper, a soft protest she voiced as her hands came up to clutch at his clothing, hoping to keep him close. Her gaze, already dark and misted with the stirrings of passion, conveyed her state and need. Kindling his own feelings of desire, until finally he picked her up, seemingly unaware of his actions as he carried her off—to the comforts of his bed.
Dinner as it was no surprise ended up being rather late. They too often became sidetracked, so the fact that they now sat eating takeout was not an odd occurrence but rather the norm for them. As it was, they now sat in silence.
Kaoru on the sofa and dressed only in his shirt, ate her sukiyaki, seemingly ignorant of her beloved's warm back resting against her legs. Her gaze, so often bright and full, was for a moment, unfocused. Lost in memory—they each reflected on private thoughts.
Though smiling when their gazes met, she leaned in to kiss him. Softly, temptingly, she pressed her lips to his. Unaware of how her eyes shown, she remained oblivious, missing the lingering longing that filled his eyes. She returned to her meal, and eventually he did too.
Minutes later, when they were done, she stood and took their plates into the kitchen. Tossing away the empty containers and other dirty paper plates, she made her way over to the counter and retrieved the tea she'd made before dinner had arrived. Carefully grasping the mugs, she turned and slowly made her way back. The edge of his shirt, so long on her form, whispered against her thighs with the movement of every step as she strode back into the room.
His eyes, in the midst of shifting between shades, darkened as she approached him. Only half aware of her speaking, he took his cup from her outstretched hands, reflexively grasping the handle, his fingers brushed against hers and was surprised, by the small spark of desire that flared at such contact. Automatically raising his gaze, he was a little disappointed to see she had not felt the same.
Sometimes . . . . .
He really wondered if she was even half-aware of how she affected him. How the mere sight of her, stirred him. It seemed almost irrational of course, that she should know his every thought but his feelings for her––did she know how much he loved her?
Could she imagine the things he'd be willing to do for her?
Sometimes he didn't think so. Her gaze was so gentle. It seemed almost unthinkable. And he would surely believe her so if not for the dark gleam that sometimes entered her gaze, the way her mouth curved into a knowing smile. So sensuous and full, it almost over shadowed the cruelty in her gaze. And if not for already knowing how she felt, he would surely think––the soft press of her body, interrupted his thoughts and he turned his head, automatically pulling her closer. Her face upturned and he gave into the unspoken request, kissing her gently. She smiled at him, so dreamingly and her eyes filled with such contentment, it made his heart ache. So beautiful, it made him realize just how insecure he was being. She loved him, of course.
More than sanity could ever help me bear.
Her confession, still so fresh in mind, warmed his blood and filled his heart. So much, he couldn't help but smile, even as her gaze returned to the flickering lights, he smiled.
And though often enough to grasp her attention, this time it did not. It was not enough to chase away the sudden haunting that filled her heart. Even with his presence. Kaoru's gaze, detract from everything but the soft flicker of the lights. As though mesmerized she watched them flash a brilliant vivid shade before succumbing to their fate and dying. Only to return a second later, in a different shade, just as bright and just as sad . . .
· · · · ·
Her dress was a dark shade of crimson, long and flowing with a thin gold belt around her waist. The same shade of gold as the fine thread that trimmed the long sleeves that covered her hands and the deep v-cut of the front of her dress. She turned in front of the mirror finding that no matter which way she turned she still looked like a princess out of medieval times. Her hair, down and over her back, cascaded like a satin black cape, which only added to the effect.
As for her face, she ran her fingertips over her unblemished features. Carefully inspecting her expression—she was momentarily startled by the lingering sadness she found there. A sort of knot began to form in the back of her throat and dulled pain threatened to sting her more now, than it ever had before. And so quickly before it could take form, she shook her head and pushed the sudden sentiments away. Reminding herself, that battousai picked up on everything. From her unique scent of jasmine to the last lingering traces of sugar on her lips, she knew he could detect the fluctuating of her ki still, even though he no longer realized what it meant, he sensed her distress and she didn't want that, specially tonight of all nights. No, she had to be careful; she couldn't afford to cry. She had to be strong, like before, she had to remain strong and firm, if not for him than at least for her sanity.
Sighing, she refocused on the image of her face and picked up a small kohl pencil from her vanity, running it slowly across the edge of her lashes, it left behind a dark–smoky line, which seemed to accentuate the natural curve of her eyes, adding depth and intrigue. She added dark lipstick next and finished it all off with a light press of powder over her nose and brow. Before lastly adding two small ruby jeweled combs to her hair, one on either side of her head to keep the hair from coming into her eyes.
Finally done, she inspected her image for flaws and though displeased with what she saw, she was not at all surprised by the image reflected back at her. She twisted her face into a mask of anger and recognized the expression almost immediately. Such scornful features, they seemed almost amplified by the deep cobalt of her eyes and the malicious twist of her mouth—a mouth, she'd always stained the deepest shade of red. So spiteful still and yet, despite her cruelty and petulance, they retracted nothing from her beauty. Oddly enough they seemed to highlight the dark gleam in her eyes, playing over the shadows, her hogosha, had once worshipped with all his heart.
Kogo.
The word meant nothing now, it was just an ordinary word like any other, one that could easily be found in a book or fable, referring to the title once worn by the emperor's wife. Only once had it meant something—long, long ago, when the land required vigilance still, had it meant respect and fear, loyalty and love, binding the life of one man to a now forgotten empire. Kogo, empress, or sovereign, how simple her title now seemed, so simple did it all now seem now that she'd lived through it. So unlike before when responsibilities and pride, and pain and love had threatened her very existence. Her dynasty—she suddenly shoved aside the nostalgic feelings grasping at her heart and though she wondered why the image of the empress was by far the clearest of all her lives, she did not dwell on it too long. Though for a moment, she did wish she'd retained her sentiments from then. Being able to manipulate her feelings as well as his would surely have come in handy. Having him follow where she led, her thoughts abruptly ended there, when she realized where it was leading to—this line of thinking, she shook her head, reminding herself once again, that she was no longer that impious woman, so callous and vindictive, no, she was no longer like that.
Her feelings for Kenshin, they weren't based on loyalty or dominance. They were true even if a bit tainted, but that had nothing to do with her, it was her past self that harbored anger and hate towards him, not her. She wasn't cruel, not like the empress, whose temper constantly escalated in to explosive confrontations between her and her beloved.
It was mere coincidence that they shared so many things in common. Her preference for the same colors, her love of storms, or even this strange affinity for an aggressive lover. It was just a coincidence and an easily believable one at that, only her reflection knew differently, starring at her through veiled eyes.
The image seemed to smile and Kaoru turned away from the mirror, leaving the room and previous thoughts behind, she headed off to the kitchen. Focusing not on the tricks her vicious mind could often play on her unsuspecting psyche but rather on all the things she still had left on her to-do list, she counted off what she'd already done.
For one, she'd done all the cooking before she'd gotten dressed so everything was done including the pie, which had taken her a bit longer than she'd thought. Even still she felt it worth it. If only to see him smile—the smell of cinnamon and apples, of roasted chicken and honey glazed ham, greeted her as she set foot into the kitchen. The wonderful aroma, so thick and warm against her skin soothed her worries over the day's importance. Though Kami only knew, she'd spent days trying to make everything perfect. And now that she was done, she felt relieved, glad that everything had turned out all right. The days had marched on much too quickly for her liking and she'd been afraid that she wouldn't find everything in time. Checking the stuffing one last time, she put the lid back on and left the kitchen.
The door creaked and she ran to open it. "Kenshin," she greeted hugging him as he came in.
"Koishii?"
She nuzzled him, inhaling his scent before drawing back. "Okarei nasai," she greeted. Her tone, so full of delight, constricted his heart. Strangely affected by her words. "Tadaima," he returned, to which she smiled, stepped back and took his coat.
She'd been waiting for him to come home all day but now the he was, she didn't know where to begin. Closing the door, she ushered him inside, "Dinner's all ready." She said, leading him towards the window where she'd already set up two tiny tables. One with a mini banquet and then another, more elaborately done, which sat some feet away, covered in a white table cloth with gleaming silverware and a set of candle sticks that rose high of the center.
His sense of smell picked up various scents and his eyes widened slightly when he saw all that she'd set up. His heart contracted with emotion again and he found himself at a loss for what to say, except for, "Why?"
"It's our first Christmas together and I wanted to make it special." She said as she pulled back the seat for him. He sat not knowing what else to do. Words lacked to describe her actions, all the effort she'd put into doing this. His eyes followed her as she moved away from him and to the table she'd set up. He pulled off the jacket to his suit and loosened his tie.
After a moment she placed a plate full of food, in front of him. Beautifully adorned and smelling just as exquisite. "I've spent all day in the kitchen." She said as she began to pour wine into a glass flute. "I hope you like it." She smiled, handing him his glass before she poured another and set it aside as she took a small portion of food for herself.
Sitting across from him, her fingers wrapped around the delicate glass stem of her flute. Toasting, "To our first Christmas." And raised her glass.
He clinked it against hers, watching as she took the first drink. He slowly brought the flute to his lips, drinking the light colored wine as his gaze, never wavering from her beautiful face. Caught the slight and almost imperceptible shudder that swept through her form, as the wine filled her blood, flushing her skin, a most fetching shade of pink. He smiled, posing the glass to his lips for another drink when he suddenly realized the reasons for her constant shopping. The insistence in knowing all his favorite meals—she'd been preparing for this.
The sudden realization caused an odd sentiment to fill his heart and though he tried to shake it off, he found he couldn't. It was there, stuck in his throat making it hard for him to breath. And whether for them or for him, he didn't really care, he appreciated the gesture all the same. Kami only knew, he loved her all the more for it. Though he'd love her regardless, he was touched by her actions.
Kaoru, smiling still and glad that he was pleased, began to cut her chicken into teeny little squares, moving next to the slices of ham on her plate. She gathered a few squares with her fork and raised it to her mouth. Savoring the lingering spices, she chewed slowly and contently. Until her face, as though drawn by an unseen caress, drifted upwards.
Time, seemingly stilled as she met his gaze. The dark and tumultuous chaos of his conflicting thoughts, so apparent in the turbulence of his gaze, ensnared her focus; such intensity in those blue/violet depths—she suddenly lowered her gaze, feeling as though she might cry. It struck her always a surprise when she realized just how much, he truly loved her. He had said it of course and she knew he meant it but his eyes, so often the window to his soul, could at times reflect nothing more than a controlled amount of feelings. Shadings of his true sentiments, they reflected but a portion of what he felt.
It wasn't till his eyes burned a fervent amber glow, that she became aware of the intensity of his love, the depths of his passion, so fierce and unyielding. They crushed her beneath their weight. Drowning her senses beneath a tide of feelings and emotions, she knew all to well.
Such ardor . . . . .
It clouded her mind. Forcing her to act on instinct and a deep–rooted love, that neither death nor hate had been strong enough to rip away from her dying grasp. And so, it was at this time, during such moments, filled with such a need and desperation that she let herself go. Responding to him with abandon, she answered his hunger with her own, drowning in his all consuming love.
His touch alone, seemed to strip her bare. Filling her with such longing for his soul—for completeness, to care what that reduced her to. She panted and writhed beneath him as much and as often as she schemed to lure him to her side, to temp the limits of his control and break him with her touch.
He'd made her greedy, starved for his kisses and feverishly desirous. He made her ache, for his heat, his flesh, the ghostly trace of his hands or the lingering caress of his lips—her thoughts suddenly collapsed in on themselves and Kaoru exhaled a shaky breath, moistening her lips, she chanced a look at him again.
And was thrown off guard by the smile that tugged his lips, the glint that filled his gaze—her eyes suddenly narrowed, understanding what he thought. She had half a mind to lean over the table and physically removed that grin off his face, ahou!
His grin broadened but then he couldn't help it. He could feel her thoughts, see the emotions playing across her face and the telltale signs of her rising blush. It delighted him and he couldn't help but smile, even as blue fire worked it's way into her dark orbs. He smiled. Lowering his gaze, he began to eat. Quite content now with both food and company, he felt equally enticed and to think, the evening had all but just begun.
His smirk grew larger.
And though quite annoyed, Kaoru decided to stop looking at him altogether. It was Christmas Eve and she wasn't going to get mad, especially not over something as small as his idiocy, baka. Turning her focus back to the food on her plate, she continued eating, ignoring the fact that he was even there.
Consequently, the rest of the meal swept through in silence. And though she'd stolen glances of him all through out, he'd pretended not to feel her gaze. Sitting there quietly, with a mask of gentleness firmly in place, he remained quiet, hoping that this calm warm silence, had been enough to appease the annoyance she'd felt earlier. Chancing a quick glance, he peeked at her beneath hooded lids.
She smiled at his antics and served his dessert. Ignoring the blossoming smile on his lips, she handed him his plate, hands slightly brushing as he took it. She blushed prettily and said. "I know you don't like sweets as much as I do," but you'll like this, she thought, half-glancing at his sitting form. "It's apple pie with vanilla ice cream." She said, licking the spoon she'd served him with. "I made the pie and I would have made the ice cream too but I didn't think it would taste as good." She confided, taking her seat across from him once again, she smiled impishly at him when she noticed his gaze lingering on her dessert. A dessert at least twice the size of his. He smiled and discreetly, continued to watch her.
The first spoonful was always the most heavenly and she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the pie and the coolness of the ice cream as it melted in her mouth. There was just something about dessert and she had such an addiction to sugar already, that it didn't help matters much. Opening her eyes, she thought she caught a lustful look on his face though when she blinked, the look was gone and she was left to wonder, if she'd really seen it at all.
The fall of black silk over a rounded shoulder made her pause, if at all briefly before she carelessly tossed it back and dug back in. Savoring a spoonful, she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the pie and the coolness of the ice cream as it melted in her mouth. It was, for lack of a better word, heavenly. So utterly delicious—
Kenshin's head bowed low. And he exhaled an unsteady breath, calming the uproar that'd begun to stir, he sat there quietly trying to sway his body away from that one intend, ignoring the almost painful throbbing of his pulse. He released a calming breath and schooling his features so that he at least looked un-phased, took more of an effort than it really ought to have been even so, it wasn't till his mask was firmly back in place that he dared enough to begin and eat. Slowly and while directly avoiding her gaze, he tried to finish his dessert. Unable to keep his gaze from drifting though, it settled on her mouth and the look of utter bliss that lit her face. Bite after bite and bit by bit, his thoughts like his eyes, paid little heed to him. Barely aware as he himself cut forkfuls of food and brought them to his mouth. His attention, so busily occupied, returned only when her fork clinked against her plate. Brining halt to wandering thoughts, he realized she'd finished and her eyes like her attention, focused on him and his half-touched dessert.
Eyes intent on his fork, they followed its every movement. Quietly observing, as he cut into the pie and brought it to his mouth.
All this, he was aware of and though her gaze, held nothing more than mild ease, he couldn't help the feelings that surged at been the sole focus of her attention. To sweep everything off the table and ravish her completely was something he could only just refrain from doing and hardly able to fight the feelings off, he once again, closed his eyes, calling himself an idiot for even allowing the thought. He sighed under his breath, willing the accompanying images to leave his head.
Kaoru, oblivious to his distress, stole away a quick peek at the clock. Though she waited patiently for him to finish, she still hoped he hurried. She wanted to clear the table and move in to the living room next.
True it was still early, only just turning seven but still she wanted them to be able to watch the movie, dance to a few holiday songs and have their cider before they settled in front of the tree, waiting till it rang midnight before opening their gifts. She'd carefully mapped out their evening, going over each and every single detail, she'd hoped to make this his favorite holiday. If only he would finish, Kaoru exhaled an exasperated breath, eyes intent on the fork again, she willed him to hurry already.
· · · · ·
Eleven fifty-nine was a long time in coming and she'd been impatient for it to come but that had been before he'd started kissing her. Now, more or less, she was seemingly unaware of time as a concept. Turning her face slightly left, she exposed more of her neck to his hungry mouth, arching against him, her fingers threaded through his hair, relishing the feeling of his mouth trailing opened mouth kisses down her throat. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his hands as they slid under her dress to smooth over her legs.
He pulled back suddenly, surprised. "You're wearing garters."
She nodded brining his head back down for another kiss; her tongue plundered his mouth, making him groan as her hands roamed over his neck and back.
Again though, he broke the kiss. Raising his head, he thought he'd heard a beeping somewhere around them and so, he wondered. "Are you still cooking something?"
Kaoru listened closely, now hearing the beeping as well. "I think that's my cell." She said, pushing against his chest.
Kenshin groaned and with a defeated sigh, rolled off her. He'd been waiting since dinner to get to this part and now that they were well on their way, they'd been interrupted. Was there no justice, he thought. Distractedly watching as she left his side; walked over to the couch and picked up her cell phone before disappearing into the bedroom.
He didn't like been interrupted and he liked it even less when she left the room to answer her phone. Eyes suddenly narrowing, he felt his anger stir. Though he stayed as he was—on his back and a couple of feet away from the Christmas tree, he still felt as though he should get up, make sure it was Tae or her father on the line and not someone else.
Knowing he was been entirely too suspicious however, he decided against it, remaining utterly still instead, he strained to hear what she was saying. He knew he shouldn't pry and usually he never would but he was suddenly so very curious, wondering if she'd told her father about them yet. He thought, it'd been a bit over a month since they'd argued over it last and he had hoped she'd changed her stand on the subject since. Though why, he still wasn't entirely sure.
Closing his eyes, he concentrated, working to make everything but the sound of her voice fade from his surroundings. Until slowly and with a calculated focus, he'd never quite understood, heard, slight whispers. Snippets, if at that, of her conversation, not nearly enough to form a conclusive answer. But enough for him to become wary. Frowning now, he thought, he should've just gotten up. At least then he'd have known who it was.
Kaoru, aware of how he was, stepped out of the bedroom a minute later, smiling largely at the frustrated look on his face. "It was my dad wishing me a merry Christmas." She explained. Taking her seat back on the floor, she waited a moment while he sat up before she bent over and reached for a present. It was then while distracted that he slid closer. Brining a smile to her face, she said. "Here," And handed him a small golden package with an elaborate red bow fastened to the front.
Kenshin, who silently groaned at the sight of the present. Wondered why in the world, she couldn't be more single-minded? For Kami's sakes, he'd almost had her dress off. Inwardly sighing, he took the offered present, carefully removing the wrapping. Until finally, after pulling it free of the many tissues enfolding it. His eyes fell on the actual gift; a dark mahogany woodened box. Which if he had to guess, he'd say was about three by five in length and width though perhaps slightly bigger, he really couldn't say off hand. Even on closer inspection, he couldn't quite make out its dimensions. What he could make out however was the time spent on the small item. It was small and smooth, so perfectly angled; his fingers could trace over every plane and edge without flaw, as though the angles themselves had fused into one surface.
Curious now, as to what lay inside, he opened the box. And found almost at once, that he couldn't breath. His gaze, immediately captured, could see nothing but the dark picture on the underside of the cover, depicting so clearly, the shadows of a man and a woman. Standing so close, they almost seemed to kiss beneath the waning moon, on a too starry night that suddenly seemed so achingly familiar—he ceased touching the jeweled indents, unaware even that he'd been tracing the patterned sky until that moment, when for an instant, thought he remembered—
"Moonlight shadows," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "I thought it only fitting."
The comment, as it had been intended to do, caught his attention and he looked at her sharply, not quite sure as to what she meant. His eyes narrowed further, suddenly guarded. She knew he was suspicious but decidedly ignored it, taking the box from his hands, she began to wind it. Surprising a look of wonder on his face, as he all but whispered. "A music box." With such a strange inflection in his tone, she thought she'd burst with the sentiment.
Handing it back to him, she said only, "I had it especially made." Before the melody began to fill the room. And though open to interpretation, she felt it expressed how she often felt. Listening to it, even now while only the instruments played, she could still feel their intent, the sadness in every chord as the words slowly drifted back into her mind. Speaking to her of love and life and loss so great . . .
A strange melody began to drift, filling up the room with a feeling so strong—
Longing filled his heart, the feeling of it so great, he set the box aside and hugged her. Whispering, "Thank you," against her ear, before he slowly pulled back. Carefully, avoiding her gaze as he gently closed the lid, stopping the haunting melody from completely ruling his emotions. He sat there a moment. Helplessly aware of this growing weakness, this vulnerability, she seemed to impose. Sinking with blind eyes—he felt her gaze, piercingly, searching his face and he knew, just knew as surely as the sun rises, that she sensed it.
Feeling the sudden need to change the subject, to steal her focus, he pulled out a present from under the tree and handed it to her. Hoping in someway, that it served its purpose, drawing her attention away. He watched her open the gift, tearing the paper into a whirl of slivers and lace. Until finally, the sullen mood shattered with her laughter and she turned dancing eyes towards him once again.
"You wouldn't be giving me this if you knew what I could do." She said, letting a sultry smile curve her lips. She pushed back, several ribbons of cobalt, crimson, gold and black, before deftly pulling out a long ebony cord from within the box. Testing it's weight, she uncrossed her legs and stood higher on her knees, saying, "Watch" as she pointed at a candle stick several feet away before rotating her right arm and taking hold of the cord by the base. She breathed out slowly. Concentrating her focus on that one single little blaze before she suddenly flicked her wrist, blowing out the flame with one lighting fast movement that left the candle itself, untouched.
Amazed, she said, "I can't believe I can still do that." And turned towards him again. Watching his left brow rise, she grinned and said, "just an old trick." Before glancing back down at the ebony cord. "Though I haven't used one of these in," She paused, thinking. "A long time, you could say." Standing, with the whip safely coiled around her hand, she said. "Come on." And offered him her other. "Let's go to bed."
Though still, somewhat distracted, his mouth opened and was about to mention the other gifts still beneath the tree when suddenly he remembered and shut it close. Taking a handful of ribbons instead, he put them in his pocket before taking hold of her small hand and standing. Alongside her, he straightened and stretched, watching her eye him curiously until finally–
"What are you going to do with those?"
Genuinely curious, he knew she didn't know, though it didn't keep him from smiling as he pulled her close. He whispered only, "you'll see," before turning and leading her along towards the privacy of his room, and where without the aid of even one word, proceeded to show her, just what he had meant.
· · · · ·
She awoke hours later, just after dawn and as the heat in the room settled into a comfortable type of warmth that easily enough, tempted her back to sleep. Though she refused to let it, blinking several times and while stifling a yawn. She kept herself from stretching, aware that any major movements would wake her other half, whom looking at seemed quite content as well as deep asleep. And though Christmas morning, usually had her up and about, ripping the wrappings off her presents, now, she seemed resigned to stay in bed. Actually preferring the latter, she imagined, she really was too tired in any case, her bones, for the most part, still felt as though they'd melted away, leaving her a poor, overly sated woman who just couldn't seem to stop grinning.
Unconsciously, her face turned in, rubbing softly against his side, she thought only of the heat emanating from his body and as a rogue palm slid over his chest, became suddenly aware of the unconscious movement and lifted her head off his arm. But at seeing his eyes still closed, sighed and again, without really thinking, began to brush small patterns over his skin.
Her hand, slowly trailing over the taut planes of his chest continued even lower, gliding gently over the well defined muscles of his abdomen when she thought she felt him move and her eyes flickered back to his face. Waiting to see if his eyes fluttered open, she kept her hand completely off him, counting the seconds until a full minute passed. And she was reassured that they had not. Believing it a trick of her imaginings, she went back to her previous musings, skimming over the jut of his hips, as her caress trailed over his inner thigh briefly touching over sensitive skin her hand was caught in a vice like grip. Nearly scarring her half to death, her eyes flew to his face. "Don't you sleep?" He asked, unruffled by his own lack of slumber. He watched a grin split her face.
"Enough to let you rest, ne?"
But it was the audacity with which she said it that made him laugh, his voice, still rough from sleep, made his laughter sound all the more dark and smoky, exciting her to no end as he must have known by the sudden goose-bumps apparent on her arms.
Smiling, he pulled her higher up along his body until she sat comfortably astride him, supporting her weight with her hands on his chest. He ran a hand over her face, stroking her brow and cheeks before running his thumb over the fleshy part of her bottom lip. So utterly, soft—she kissed the lingering digit, silently asking for more than a caress, she let her gaze flicker down to his lips before all together drifting close in a way that was so familiar, so dear to his heart—he kissed her without warning. Swallowing her gasp of surprise as he shifted her even closer, deepening the kiss.
He groaned as she responded. Pressing and touching, she clung to his body . . . Unable to discern, why with such warmth, she shuddered still. Why, at this moment, filled with so much love and so utterly perfect, did she feel like her heart would shatter. Why!
"Koishii?"
He had broken the kiss and pulled back to see why she suddenly trembled. But she'd quickly hidden her face, tucked safely against his throat, she only shook her head, clinging tighter to his neck until he realized she was crying and pulled her away from him.
"Kaoru?"
No, she thought, don't go, please, please, she thought.
"Koishii, what's wrong?"
But, she only shook her head, unwilling to let him go. "No." she finally said, grasping him by the neck again, as she pulled herself towards him, nuzzling against his throat, she murmured incoherently making him worry even more.
"Kaoru?"
It was the worry in his voice that broke her resolve, giving her no other option but than to comply, to tell him. "I-," she began. Only to have her voice waver, forcing her to pause as she tried to get her emotions back under control. Blinking past a stream of stubborn tears, she tried again. "Nothing's wrongs." Not exactly, she thought. Unable to pinpoint the reasons for her previous, silent sobs, she shook her head, frustrated beyond measure. She took a deep long breath, venturing carefully around her thoughts. "It's just," something akin to fear, gripped her heart. "Will you really love me always?"
The softly spoken question, surprised him as much as it suddenly angered him. "Kaoru," he said coolly. His tone, doing very little to mask, the fury he suddenly felt. "I do love you," he affirmed, forcibly drawing her away. He robbed her the chance to turn away, as he brusquely tilted her chin up, intent on making her meet his gaze until he saw the hurt in her expression. The pain he so often felt, she harbored, so clear in her gaze now, melted the icy barriers protecting his heart.
"Kaoru," his voice, now low and soothing, coaxed her gaze to rise. "I do love you," he confessed, running his thumbs over her tear stained face. "I will always, love you." Today. tomorrow and every day after. He kissed every inch of her face, "Always," he vowed. Always.
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MY GOSH! Has it been forever or what, since you saw last 'yours truly' skulking around these parts, posting and writing on this wonderfully site. Well, as you can surely see, I'm back, much too my own dismay, because I have so much homework I can hardly keep up with it. But then this story has been on hold for so long; I just couldn't bear it any longer. I had to come back. I have to finish. I won't go into detail as to when I finished writing this (silently, afraid of readers) But I will tell you that today, YES, T-O-D-A-Y, is the day I finally finished editing this chapter. Finally, YES! (Jumps for joy) I know, believe me, no one is happier to see this chapter finally go more than me. I feel like I've been editing forever. I mean 38 pgs, come on.
Anyhow, let's forget all about my idiosyncrasies and the fact that I can't seem to shake off my O.C.D. when it comes to editing. Let's get back to the story, shall we.
Like the previous chapter, there is a lot of symbolism. A lot of what is said and thought, not only express how they feel, but as many of you (whom love to analyze the story like I do) can see, there is a lot of foreshadowing as well. (Little something to not for those of you who have read this chapter before. the song had to be removed; in accordance with the new policy. But if you go down to the website, you'll notice the chapter hasn't changed at all.
· · · · ·
Life and love, has for them phased into something, quite surreal. This rose-colored world, she once created simply to keep up pretense, has engulfed them both. Soothing, her hate to a level of almost none existence. While for him, the love is all consuming. A dangerous, predicament for them. Because despite all their happiness, their is an underlining fear. A sort of shadow, that looms over their happiness. Which Kaoru seems to sense but instead of trying to fix it, chooses to ignore. Afraid that if she even dares to recognize it, IT will snatch it all away.
And so she pretends.
Kaoru thinks of nothing but Kenshin, and how to make the best of their time together. Always, hedging away from things that might upset her. Like before, she edges away from particular memories, finding it best to simply remain in the dark. She smiles and she laughs.
She does truly adore him with all her heart.
And he knows this, knows without a doubt that her love for him, is even more than he could ever hope to imagine. It's one of the many reasons; it's so precious to him. And though 'the words' have yet to be spoken out loud from her end, he knows she loves him. And so he is willing, not just to wait but to do everything within his grasp to keep her smiling. Indulging her every whim, he is a pander to her every fancy, even if he has yet to realize it. He has allowed her to conquer him.
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Small Notes: Christmas is approaching . . . . .
And with it comes, holiday cheer. Which in this case, Kaoru has made herself spread into every corner of his life. From redecorating his home, to shopping, cooking, fixing, dressing, doing everything she can to make this the best holiday ever, not just because its her favorite, but just in case it becomes their only.
Shopping, stores and children. He has never been faced with so much, in such little time. Always alone, he has never even celebrated a birthday. But the shock of so much is quickly passing. Delighted instead, he watches her. Simply adoring her from far until something in him calls out, and he is forced to stand. Like after they bought the tree. Something about watching her, so intent on that damn tree made him suddenly rise. But the feeling, the reason he was spurred into movement, is unknown. Though Kaoru suspects she knows, she never gets to finish her conclusion. Something about him being Battousai, it distracts her. Sometimes a little too easily. All he has to is speak her name, for her to loose her previous train of thought.
Which hasn't gone unnoticed.
The ability to make her melt in his arms, is something he rather enjoys, and because of it, exploits her weakness. Constantly. Not so much because he likes it (which he does) but because he has always hoped to make her fall in love with him as much as he loves her. And so, the mere thought of it feels him with static. Much the same way, the mention of children, does. Because children with her, seems to constantly filter into his thoughts.
Kogo, the word literally translates to, Empress. A title, she has not used for many centuries, and yet at certain moments, when she turns, she can see herself as she had been. As it all had been, once upon a time. This lifetime, for reasons yet unforeseen, stands out high above all the others. Often, guiding her reactions, she sometimes acts a little too like before but then, she thinks, or at least likes to believe, that it is all simply a coincidence. That she is not that cruel person anymore, she refuses to believes it. Even if he has noticed, that certain gleam in her eyes, he has not made her aware of it.
Midnight love, and Moonlight Shadows. (Fitting, don't you think?)
The scene is pulled out from a particular scene of DTBB, (Dark Times: Blood Bonds—the first fic in the series as well as the beginning of their lives together.) it represents a memory. For her at least, of something that occurred between them, a long, long, time ago. For him however, it represents something he cannot comprehend, but that he is aware she knows something of. Though before he can even begin to fathom what that could be—something about the melody in that music box, stops him. Filling him with a longing, he almost feels, is not his own. Such a haunting tune, he suddenly has to stop it, to keep it away. He cannot let her rule him, not in the way her song seems to want to make him. Rendering him weak and vulnerable, feelings which he is neither willing nor able to admit feels as of yet. And so because of it, shuts the lid close. Ceasing the torrent of emotions. He decided instead, to distract her, giving her a gag gift he never would have guessed she knew how to use. Surprise, surprise.
She stirred his interest. (Amongst other things) Which he made pretty clear to her, he liked. Showing her appreciating and love in the only way he really knows, through physical interaction. He conquered her heart. (Which oddly enough, is reminiscent to that of a previous live, unfortunately, he does not remember.)
Hours later, she awakes. Blissfully happy in her sated state, she is unaware of her constant habit, touching him unconsciously. She lets her caress linger a little too long and wakes him. Though startled at first by his vice like grip, she immediately jumps on the chance for an encore performance of the previous night. Instigating, a response, she touched her lips to his thumb, before all together letting her gaze shutter close. She knew full well, he could not resist the silent plea.
And yet, she gasped, when he kissed her. Though not so much because of it, but rather because of how he chose to do it. The way he touched her suddenly, seemed much too familiar, too loving and so utterly perfect, she became frightened. He looked just like before, felt the same as before and so, who was to say he was not the same as before.
He left her once, did he not?
The mere thought, wrenched silent sobs from her being. And though she tried to hide them, being as close as she was to his body, she found she could not. And so, tiny drops of moisture escaped their confines. Wetting the side of his throat until he realized this and pulled her from where she hid.
The expression, she held then, he had seen before. In Kyoto, in fact, shortly after they'd just arrived and he'd caught her out in the yard. He had not known what she'd been thinking then and neither did he know now, but as he looked at her, his features softened. And after all his asking, he finally got an answer. Though he had hated that she doubted him, he had been quick to reassure her, soothing her worries. He promised her his love, not just now, but forever, like in her movies, he pledged his undying love. Which really, is all her broken heart, was looking to hear.
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I hope these Small Notes help you guys understand the story a little better. Still if you have any other questions, please feel free to email me. I promise, I will respond. I've begged for Tuesdays and Thursday off from work, so be assured, you will get a response on either one of those days. Thanks for reading.
