Ever Wonder If...
Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina, any of its characters, or any thing Love Hina-ish. Ken Akamatsu does. So thank him for creating this awesome manga series.
A/N: Chapter 3! Woo hoo! I hope people are having fun reading this as I am writing this...it's a blast! Thanks for reading and please review!
"..." Denotes speech
Italics Denotes thought
Bold Denotes sound effects
::blah:: Denotes time/time change
------------- Denotes scene/scene change
Denotes daydreams and sleeping dreams
Chapter 3: Preparing for the Mock Exam and to be a Woman
-------------Hinata-sou Living Room--------------
::3:15 PM::
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!" Keitaro shrieked in a high voice.
"Calm down, you spaz," Naru said.
"You don't know how bad it would be if I can't take my exam tomorrow! Ugggh!" Keitaro continued to panic.
"HIYA!♥" Su shouted.
"Eh?" Keitaro said, turning his head. BAM!! He was promptly kicked in the head by her, causing Keitaro to smash into the ground.
"How are ya, Keitaro?" Su asked, peering at him. "Living still?"
"I'd be a lot better if you didn't kick me every time you saw me!" Keitaro shouted.
"Oh?" Naru said. "You have a nosebleed. Does getting hit in the face by middle-schoolers turn you on?"
"TURN ME ON??! Are you crazy?!?! She kicked me in the face!!" Keitaro whined.
"Whatever," Naru said, making a motion with her hand that showed she didn't care at all.
"So Keitaro," Su said, "I heard you need help with the exam tomorrow!" Keitaro slowly got up, and Su jumped on him. "I can help you!"
"Eh? HOW?!" Keitaro said, excited, and causing Su to fall.
"Woah!" Su cried, and she fell onto the ground with her skirt not covering what it was supposed to.
"Eh?!" Keitaro, trying to turn away, but his nose started bleeding again anyways.
"Keitaro you PERVERT!" Naru shouted and swung her fist. BAAAM! Keitaro went flying across the room and hit the wall painfully.
"Owww..." Keitaro groaned.
"Heh, oops!♥" Su said, not really sorry at all.
"How are we going to deal with you at all? Jeez!" Naru said, stomping away.
"Wait, Narusegawa!" Keitaro called out, but she just walked away. Keitaro sighed. "Oh well."
"So...you need help?" Su asked, hanging from the ceiling right in front of Keitaro's face.
"Uh..." Keitaro said. "Yes."
"GREAT!!♥" Su said, and immediately dragged Keitaro to her room.
"Err..." Keitaro stuttered.
-----------------Su's Room------------------
It was a jungle. A jungle in a room. It sported nice palm trees, ivy, and even a pool of water that somehow was meant to be there.
"Err...how come your room's like this?" Keitaro asked.
"Because it's more fun like this!" Su answered. "Here it is!"
"What is it?" Keitaro asked.
"Your birth certificate!" Su answered.
"My what? When did you get that!?" Keitaro shouted, and grabbed it back. Phew, it's all right, Keitaro said, glancing at it and seeing nothing wrong. Eh? Keitaro thought, and he looked closer at it. "WHAT?! HOW COME IT SAYS I'M A FEMALE?!?!?!!!"
"Didn't you want help?" Su asked. "Look, this way if they question who you are you can show your birth certificate that you are female!"
"BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I CHANGE BACK?" Keitaro continued to yell.
"Well, I don't see that happening anytime soon," Su pointed out. DOOO-OONNG! Shock hit Keitaro as Su made this comment. That's right...I'm not going to male for a long time...
"But still, it's my certificate!" Keitaro whined.
"Ah, I can change it back. And here's your new Student ID!" Su tossed him a card.
"When did you get this?"
"When I went rifling through your room for some stuff. Kitsune was taking your clothes at the time, I think," Su mused. The ID had a picture of Keitaro in his old way but it said female instead of male again. "Say cheese!" Su said.
"Eh?!" Keitaro answered, and a bright flash went off. "Owww! I'm blind!" Keitaro moaned.
"All done! Here's the perfect ID!" Su said.
"Won't they remember that I'm a guy?" Keitaro asked.
"Nope! I pretty sure you don't talk to anyone but Naru and no one will care anyhow if everything's legal!"
"They'll think they're going crazy," Keitaro said to himself.
"Are you going to spend all day in here?" Naru asked, popping her head in suddenly. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at the ID card and birth certificate.
"Uh...uh..." Keitaro stuttered. Naru grabbed it.
"What?!" Naru shouted. "You made doctored papers? People will know you aren't Keitaro!"
"That's what I said!" Keitaro agreed.
"But...isn't Keitaro a loner who doesn't talk to anyone but you?" Su said.
"True," Naru agreed. Keitaro sweat-dropped in sadness. "Well, Shirai and Haitani might notice."
"All settled then!" Su said.
"All right idiot, ready to study?" Naru asked Keitaro.
"Uh...sure," Keitaro replied.
---------------Keitaro's Room------------------
::3:45 PM, Still Sunday::
"I get it! I get it!" Keitaro shouted, springing up from the table and doing a little victory dance. This is a very simple concept, Naru thought to herself, sweat dropping. BAM! Keitaro tripped and fallen flat on his face.
"Are you alright?" Naru said immediately.
"Yeah," Keitaro nervously giggled.
"Um...did you just giggle?" Naru asked.
"Hmm?" Keitaro said.
"Never mind," Naru said. He's becoming more and more like a girl...this is bad! I have to find a way to change him back! Before I know it, I'll be revealing girl only secrets to him! Naru thought nervously.
"So, on to the next problem!" Keitaro said, and started writing furiously. Naru also did the next problem. "Here, I got pi over two, what did you get?" Keitaro asked.
"Pi over 6," she answered.
"Hmm," Keitaro mused. He flipped to the end of the book to check the answers. "You're wrong," he said simply. "Hey I got it right!"
"What?!!?!!" Naru yelled, grabbing Keitaro's shirt and nearly choking him. "How can I get it wrong and you get it right!!!??"
"It-it wasn't my fault!" Keitaro managed to say.
"Not your fault?! Who's fault is it that you got it right?" Naru said, and dropped him on the ground. PHOOF! Keitaro landed softly on the ground. "Idiot, I can't believe you got it right."
"Heh heh..." Keitaro laughed nervously. "I've been getting a lot more right, recently."
"It must be a fluke," Naru said.
"What?! Just because I'm getting things right doesn't mean it's a fluke!" Keitaro whined.
"Yeah, right. Maybe it's that since you're a girl you're smarter?" Naru suggested.
"WHAT?!!?!?!?! That's a filthy lie!" Keitaro shouted.
"It's not like you could do any of these before!" Naru shouted.
"Liar!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
::7:30 PM, roughly 3 hours and 15 minutes later::
"Finally done!" Naru said, closing her book. "On to English!"
"Ahh, I can't go on much longer," Keitaro said.
"Sempai! Narusegawa-sempai! Dinner's ready!" Shinobu called out.
"Be right down!" Naru said, and she got up along with Keitaro. "After dinner, we'll do English," she told Keitaro as they entered the kitchen.
"Eh?" Shinobu said, because she had forgotten about Keitaro's predicament. "Who is this?"
"Shinobu-chan, it's me!!" Keitaro said. "Keitaro!"
"Eh? Ohhhh..." Shinobu said. I can't get used to Sempai's cute girl form! Shinobu thought. Motoko, Kitsune, and Su came in.
"KEITARO! HIYA!♥" Su shouted. BAAAAMM!!
"Aieeeee!" Keitaro shouted slamming into Motoko.
"Ur-ur-URASHIMA! GET OFF! ROCK SPLITTING TECHNIQUE!" Motoko bellowed.
"Aieeeeeee!" Keitaro shouted again, bouncing around the room like a pinball. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAAAM! He landed on top of Shinobu, knocking her unconscious as well as himself.
"Uh..." Kitsune and Naru said, sweat-dropping.
"Oh well, let's eat!♥" Su said, and sat down.
"Su!" Naru cried.
"Hmmmf?" Su said, with food dripping out of her mouth.
"You can't eat if Shinobu-chan and Keitaro is unconscious!"
"But then we'll have to wait forever to eat! I'm hungry now!" Su whined.
"You're always hungry," Motoko sweat-dropped. Su just kept eating.
"Owwwww..." Keitaro moaned, getting up slowly. "Eh? Shinobu-chan?" he exclaimed upon seeing Shinobu-chan beneath him.
"Idiot!" Motoko said. Keitaro quickly shook Shinobu until she woke up.
"Ah..." she said. "What happened?"
"Never mind that, let's eat!!!!♥" Su said, and started to chomp viciously on a piece of squid. And they did. And it was good.
"Man, that was good!" Keitaro said, afterwards.
"You know, now that you're a girl, you should be watching what you eat," Kitsune warned.
"Eh?" Keitaro said.
"Here, I'll teach you everything you need to know about being a girl!" Kitsune said, and brought out a whiteboard.
"Um...do I really need this?" Keitaro asked.
"You know, she's right. You must be a proper girl," Motoko commented.
"You're not one!" Keitaro whined.
"Don't worry about me, but about yourself!" Motoko retorted.
"Pay attention!" Kitsune said. "First thing is body!"
"What?" Keitaro said. "What are you talking about?"
"Anatomy. These," Kitsune said, poking Keitaro's chest, "Are breasts."
"I know that!" Keitaro shouted. "Who doesn't know that?!?!!" Suddenly Su started feeling them, causing Keitaro to feel very uncomfortable.
"They're squishy!" Su said.
"SU!!" Naru and Keitaro yelled. "STOP!"
"What?" Su said. "Fine," she said, and sulked away.
"But the main thing that makes you a girl is you don't have 'that' anymore," Kitsune said, pointing where 'that' was and giggling.
"I know that!" Keitaro said once more.
"If you can't be mature about it, why do it at all?" Naru asked. Kitsune ignored her.
"Okay, that's the basic differences between boys and girls. Now on to behavior," Kitsune said, writing down "Behavior" on the board. "As expected, girls are polite, nice, and cute," Kitsune said.
"What??!! Then how come you guys aren't more nice to me?!!??" Keitaro demanded to know.
"Hey, I'm not done yet. Most are docile and sweet, and most of all, they act beautifully!" Kitsune said. "BUT...if there's a pervert around, they get angry often and act violent, hateful, and generally not what they're supposed to." Ugh, that's what they see me as, Keitaro thought, drooping his head and sweat-dropping. "Also," Kitsune continued, writing all of this down on the board. "Hey! You're not taking notes! How will you remember if you don't write it down?!?!"
"Are you crazy?!" Keitaro asked in disbelief.
"You won't remember! I'd bet you'd forget by tomorrow!" Kitsune said.
"Like this is really necessary at all," Keitaro mumbled.
"Fine! Whatever! Be a delinquent student! Moving on!" Kitsune said, and wrote some more stuff on the board.
"Now, look here," Kitsune said, pointing to a picture of a girl. "There are several places where it is not permissible to be touched."
"You don't think I don't know this?!?!" Keitaro yelled. "I've only been smacked for doing it ten thousand times!"
"Exactly. You don't seemed to have learned very well if you've been smacked ten thousand times," Kitsune said.
"Uh..." Keitaro said, not able to argue the point.
"That's what I thought," Kitsune said smugly. "Okay, so listen up. Here, here, and here are obvious places," Kitsune continued, pointing to the chest, butt, and 'that' area. "What you might not know, is that it is also unacceptable to be touched here," Kitsune said, and pointed to the head.
"What?! Why?" Keitaro asked. "Why can't girls be touched in the face?"
"Well, what would you think if a guy went up to you and touched you in the face?" Kitsune asked. "Do you touch people in the face?"
"Well...not really..." Keitaro said.
"That's what I thought!" Kitsune said.
"Can we finish this already? I have to study!" Keitaro whined.
"Jeez! Just ignore all the makings of being a girl!" Kitsune said.
"What makings? None of you follow these so called rules that you're putting down!" Keitaro yelled.
"Why, I am so offended that you would even say that!" Kitsune said in mock offense.
"Look! I'm a girl! So let me study and be myself in peace!" Keitaro yelled, pulling up his skirt and revealing his panties.
"IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!" Naru and Motoko yelled. "DOUBLE STRIKING IDIOT PUNCH!" BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Keitaro yelled, making several Keitaro shaped holes in the ceiling.
"Uh..." Kitsune said, still holding her index finger up and sweat-dropping. "You know he is a girl and it's not like you haven't seen panties before." Naru and Motoko were breathing heavily.
"But...it's Keitaro! He's not allowed to do things like that!" Motoko said. BAM! Keitaro landed back.
"Hey, I think we need some new rules regarding Keitaro," Kitsune said.
"Eh?!" Naru exclaimed. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, since he's a girl, there is no reason why he can't come in and use the bath with us!" Kitsune said.
"WHAAAT?!" Motoko yelled. "W-WHY DO YOU SAY SUCH THINGS??!!!"
"It's obvious by now he's seen himself naked!♥" Kitsune giggled.
"But he still has the mind of Keitaro!!" Naru said.
"Well, he's a girl now! There's no reason to hold back!♥" Kitsune said. She picked up Keitaro. "Would anybody see him and think it's Keitaro?" she asked.
"Well...perhaps not..." Naru started.
"Of course not! It's a woman. In fact, are we 100 sure it's not a person in disguise?" Kitsune asked.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Naru said.
"Who's being ridiculous? Keitaro is a man, last time I checked!" Kitsune said.
"Look, we've already had this discussion," Naru said. "So let's just go. C'mon, Keitaro, don't just lie there all day."
"Ah...so much pain..." Keitaro mumbled. "Narusegawa, you go, I want to relax with a bath."
"What?!!?! How can you relax?! We have a mock exam tomorrow!!" Naru yelled.
"Jeez, just let him take a bath if he wants to!" Kitsune said. And this way...I can... Kitsune thought to herself.
-----------Hinata-sou Bath------------
::8:00 PM::
"Ahhh...." Keitaro sighed in relief as he soaked his poor sore body. He was in the big open air bath that he so rarely got to use in peace. Still, just in case, he had put up a sign of warning. "Don't want any girl to be busting in and socking me. Still, I am a girl, so they should stop it already anyways." He relaxed even more. "Ahh...I should do this more often."
"Why, of course you can do it more often!" a voice came from the door of the bath.
"Eh?!" Keitaro exclaimed. "Who is it?!?!" It was Kitsune.
"Kitsune!" Keitaro shouted. "What are you doing?!" Kitsune was only wrapped in a bath towel, like normal.
"Well, we're both girls, so I thought it'd be okay if we took a bath together! Don't you know girls do it all the time?" Kitsune said.
"Yes, but–" Keitaro began, but Kitsune put her hand over his mouth, leaning over him. She let her towel drop. CRAACKKK! Keitaro's eyes bulged out many centimeters from his head. SPURRRRRRRTTT! His nose started to bleed. He immediately turned away and started to run. But Kitsune grabbed him.
"C'mon Keitaro!" Kitsune said, and she giggled.
"Urrgh...let me go!" Keitaro said, squirming.
"Haha! Never!" Kitsune said. Keitaro managed to slip out, but he tripped.
"Woah!" he said. BAM! He fell face first onto the rocks. "Owww..." he groaned in pain. "My face...my whole body aches..."
"Hahaha! I got you now!" Kitsune said.
"What?!" Keitaro said, and he sprung up immediately, only to trip again. "Woah!" he cried, and he fell on top of Kitsune, causing them both to lose balance. BAAM! "Oww..." he groaned for a second time, but when he put his hand on the ground to push himself up, he felt something round a squishy instead.
"Oh, Keitaro, you pervert!♥" Kitsune said, giggling shyly.
"I didn't mean it! I didn't!" Keitaro shouted, and he immediately moved his hand away, but of course since he was using that hand to support himself, he fell down face first on to Kitsune instead of moving away. Phooomp!
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a voice screamed from the doorway. Keitaro looked up.
"Ah...ah..." Keitaro stuttered, upon seeing Motoko.
"What's all the noise about?" Naru said, poking her head into the bath. Her face registered shock at the sight she saw.
"Urashima..."
"Keitaro..."
"DIE!" BAAAAAAM!
"Aieeeeee!" Keitaro yelled, flying away.
"Kitsune! What are you doing?" Naru asked.
"Hee hee," Kitsune just giggled. "I was just having some fun."
"You have to cover up!" Naru said.
"Why? I told you, he's a girl, so there's no reason why girls can't take a bath together."
"I told you because he has the mind of a guy!" Naru said, stomping her foot in frustration.
"Heh heh....c'mon, it was just some harmless fun!" Kitsune said.
"Harmless, no. Fun, also no. Don't do anything like that again!" Naru said.
"Fine, but shouldn't you go find Keitaro?" Kitsune said.
"Why? He's fine by himself somewhere," Naru said.
"A nearly naked woman somewhere in the middle of the night?" Kitsune said.
"EH?!" Motoko and Naru said.
"Jeez, it's almost as if you two forgot he was a woman. You'd better go retrieve him before something happens," Kitsune said, and left the bath.
"Naru-sempai, Kitsune is right. We should go find him..." Motoko said.
"Yeah..." Naru agreed, but before they left Keitaro landed back on the ground. BAAM!
"OW!" Keitaro yelled. "You know, you two hit really hard!" Keitaro shouted, immediately jumping up and down in fury. "It wasn't my fault!" How is he still alive? Motoko thought.
"Urashima, if you do anything like that again, I will hit you harder," Motoko said.
"I'm not like that at all!" Keitaro cried.
"Just go to bed!" Naru said, and they both left.
-----------Manager's Room----------------
::9:00 PM::
Keitaro grabbed the futon and pulled it out. He quickly lay down and turned off the lights. "Man, this whole woman changing thing is getting out of hand! I have to find that genie!" He shifted around. "I hope that tomorrow there's no problem with this woman thing, anyways." He fell asleep.
----------------Naru's Room------------
"I guess he really is a girl. Okay, starting tomorrow, I'll treat him like one!" Naru told herself. "It's not really fair otherwise."
---------------Motoko's Room---------
"Urashima is still Urashima. He is not a girl. He will never be," Motoko said to herself while preparing to sleep. "How can we treat him otherwise?"
--------------Kitsune's Room----------
"Let's see, what can I do to have more fun? I'll have to ask Su tomorrow!"
A/N: Okay, sorry for this chapter that is totally lame. But just pretend it was good and look forward to the next chapter! Also, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I'll say it now, I'm a guy (you can know that by reading my bio, but who would ever waste time to do that?), so I don't know that many things girls-related...don't kill me! sounds of author getting beat up by a bunch of girls Please R&R!
