Chapter 3: What doesn't break us?
The sight of the apartment when Carter got home wasn't what he was expecting. Everything was where it should have been, except for Abby. She wasn't in the living room so he headed back for the bedroom. What he saw shocked him to say the least for that wasn't the Abby that he had been with the day before. There she was curled up in a small ball and the color had been drained from her face. She in all honestly looked ill, very ill.
"Abby?" He called out softly to her at first, not wanting to startle or scare her.
There was no response from her, but she might have been sleeping. He took a few more steps closer towards her. Afraid that he would frighten her if she didn't know that he was there. She was curled up tightly holding onto her stomach.
"Abby." He said again this time as he put a hand to her forehead, she felt a little warm to him but nothing frightening.
Her eyes fluttered a little bit and opened a crack enough so that she could see that it was Carter who was talking to her. She just didn't want to open them up all the way. She was tired and her stomach was in knots, what she had managed to eat had long been returned from her stomach in violent protests.
"You feeling okay?" He asked.
She muttered something that wasn't coherent to anyone; she wasn't even sure what she had said to him.
"How long have you been feeling like this?"
"Go away." She finally managed to say after a few minutes of laying there in complete silence. Maybe he would just go away if she closed her eyes.
"Baby you don't look good." He said again as he sat down on the edge of the bed not wanting to leave her alone, from the way that she looked being left alone was the last thing that he should be doing.
"Carter, I told you go away." Her voice much harsher with him now, all Abby wanted was to be left alone.
"I can't."
"Go away." She said again this time opening her eyes to look at him. "Just go the hell away."
That wasn't like her, to suddenly have an outburst of any kind. As far as he knew there was no hostility between the two of them, things had been okay when he had left for work.
"Abby what's wrong?" Dumb question but one that needed to be asked.
"Either you go away or I will." She said getting upset with him. "I want to be left alone." Part of that was her not feeling well, being tired and scared was emotionally draining and to have him sitting there asking her a million questions just well, it wasn't what she wanted.
"What happened while I was gone?"
"Ah," she let out in a frustrated moan, it hurt to move but it hurt more to sit there and be forced to listen to him, granted she wasn't going to leave the confines of her apartment. This was her place and he could take himself elsewhere. She got up off the bed and headed into the bathroom securely locking the door behind her.
Carter didn't know what to make of this. The way that was up now a mystery to him and he didn't know just what to do to help her, if there was anything that could be done to help her.
"Abby come on out."
"Go away!"
He could hear her but he still didn't think that fulfilling that wish was something that he should be doing right now. "Come on out Abby I am not leaving until you come out of there and I know that you are okay."
"You can stand there until hell freezes over but I am not coming out."
He remained firm standing his ground outside the door, something just wasn't right with her, yet it wasn't something that was jumping right out at him.
Abby had retreated into the bathroom finding a spot on the cool tile floor to return to her curled up position where she could block away the voices, the ones coming from outside the door and the ones that were in her head.
"Abby I'm worried that's all." There was no answer from her when he said that. Silence filling the apartment now as he wondered what to do next. He could sit out there and wait for her to come out; he could try and go in after her. Something needed to be done, especially with the way that she had looked when she had gone in there. "Abby either you come out or I am coming in there."
Still no response, Abby had once again lost track of time and place, she wasn't where she had thought she was, the feelings of fear slowly taking over her body again. This wasn't how she wanted to live, she didn't want to be a prisoner inside her own home, let alone inside her own head.
She had convinced herself that indeed there was nothing wrong with her, that everyone felt the way that she felt right now, she was just overreacting to what had been a very traumatic incident and that in time these feelings would go away on there own she just needed time to deal with all of it, and that included time away from Carter. This was his entire fault. Carter was the reason she had been stabbed on the platform, he was the reason that Paul had come after her that day. She was pissed at him for dragging her into this.
"Go away Carter," Abby called out now that she was thoroughly perturbed by him. Her anger right now towards him was an anger that she had not ever felt and the sudden swing in emotion caught her off guard.
"Abby please."
"No listen to me." She said throwing the bathroom door open, she felt green around the edges but was angry enough that it didn't slow her down at all. "I told you to go away, what part of that don't you understand. Look I just don't feel well right now and I want you to leave me alone get out of my apartment and don't come back until I say it's okay."
Carter took a few steps back. He had never seen her so upset and it was a shocker for him. He didn't know what to say. "Are you…"
Abby didn't let him finish that sentence as she physically started to push him towards the door, "yes I am freaking sure Carter, get the hell out of here right now before… before…" she didn't know how to end that one.
"Okay, okay" He said with a very little Abby pushing on him, not that she could move him much but she sure was giving it one hell of an effort, "I'm going just call me later okay so that I know you are okay."
Yeah right like she was going to do that right now. "Right." She pushed again, "now just go."
Carter didn't have much of a choice right now, he would let her get this out of her system and she would probably call him in a little while tired of being left alone in the apartment. Either that or there would be something that she would need. He knew that she wasn't big on going out right now, in fact she hadn't gone out without him or Susan with her and then those trips were short.
He heard the door slam shut behind him now, he stood there for a minute before heading down the stairs, maybe she just needed a little more down time, let her sleep some of it off and he was fairly certain that Abby would be her own self, either that or something that resembled herself. If he didn't hear from her by tomorrow he'd definitely send Susan over to see if she could get to the bottom of what was going on with Abby.
