A/N: Thanks for all the review keep them coming I love knowing what you think of the story, sorry that the updates are so slow coming but yikes what can I say this one is one of the harder stories that I have written in a long time. Please if you like what you read take a second to review, if you don't like it hey tell me that too.
Chapter 5: Resignation
When Abby hadn't shown up for work the next morning, Carter had this sinking feeling that something just wasn't right and he knew that after his shift he should probably go over there and at least try and talk to her. Well he hoped that she would talk to him, after he last little outburst he wasn't sure if she would even be willing to talk to him.
He tried calling her apartment several time during the day as he worked but all he got was a busy signal, maybe she was talking to Maggie or to Susan or to anyone right now. He tried his hardest not to worry about her but as the day went on the more worried he became. His shift ended and he signed all of his patients out practically bolting from the ER and catching the first train that would take him over to her apartment. On the way over he called again three times all with the same result a busy signal.
He used his key to let himself into the building and then when he got up to her apartment door stood there debating on whether he should knock of if he should just go right in. After all he had keys, she knew he had keys; he had practically been living there for most of the time, very seldom ever seeing the inside of his own apartment.
He brought his hand up and knocked on the door, "Abby!"
There was no response from the inside, he didn't hear her moving to get to the door and he didn't hear her call out acknowledging that he was even there. He unlocked the door, or rather thought that he had, it took him a second to realize that she had done the deadbolt as well, the clear sign was when he went to push the door didn't move and he banged into it.
"Abby where are you baby?" He called out as he moved inside closing the door behind him now as he moved a little more into the apartment. There was no answer and that just made him worry all the more. As he walked he noticed that she had the phone off the hook and that wasn't something that he was expecting. "Abby, honey where are you?" He called again as he headed back for the bedroom.
That's where he found her. She was curled up on the bed and seemed to him to be in the midst of a nightmare. Carter could see that she was shaking, her hands trembling and she was as white as a ghost anything resembling color had long left her once rosy cheeks. Her forehead was covered with tiny beads of sweat that were collecting on her pillow making it damp.
Carter cautiously crossed the room, not wanting to frighten her if he woke her up which he knew that he needed to do, you could tell by the lines on her face that she was clearly stressed and that the dream was not one that was good for her health. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently shook her to attempt to wake her from her tormented sleep. "Abby, Abby honey wake up."
Her eyes flew open, expecting to be alone the voice and the touch scared her. She pulled away frantically now, unsure of time or place. Her surrounds not familiar to her not fully awake body, her mind four steps behind her eyes and actions.
"Abby honey, you were having a nightmare." Carter said the tone of his voice was soft and even as he spoke.
She shook her head, as she tried desperately to get her brain to catch up with what was really going on. She blinked several times as things slowly began to come back into focus. She realized who was in the room with her and why he was probably there. She slowly crawled back towards him.
When she returned to him Carter held out his arms and slowly and gently pulled her in close in an attempt to comfort her to let her know that it was alright that she was okay and it was nothing more than her mind playing tricks on her. She was shaking still as he held onto her, whatever that dream had been about had scared her to the core. He softly kissed the top of her head keeping all of his actions small and tender.
"You're here." Abby finally managed to whisper out.
"Yeah I'm here." He replied back to her not letting his embrace change, holding onto her was as comforting to him as it was to her. "I'm here."
She leaned into him more now as she let him try and calm her mind, still tortured by the visions of the dreams, the intrusive thoughts and vivid images that plagued her from the attack. She was glad that she had remembered what had happened so that she could free him of his imprisonment but hated that those memories that had left her for what seemed so long had returned with a force that needed to be reckoned with.
When she didn't say anything he finally spoke, "are you okay?" He asked, "I was worried about you when you didn't come to work."
"I'm fine," she lied, "I just wasn't feeling good this morning again."
"What's wrong?"
Somehow Abby knew that he was going to ask her that question and before he had her mind had thrown together on it's own a story to keep him from finding out what was really going on with her. The last thing she wanted anyone to know was that she was slowly going crazy.
"I just have a touch of the flu, I'm pretty sure that's all it is." She said rather confidently so that he would have no reason to doubt what she was saying.
"Are you keeping anything down?"
"I've been able to keep water and tea down." She said, "I'm sure it will pass in a day or two."
Carter's hand went to her forehead, still damp from the sweat formed during her sleep, "you don't feel warm I don't think you have a fever." He said before hugging onto her again.
"I'll be fine." She said again in response to him.
"I'm sure you will be too." He said, "how about I go and make you some tea, maybe some toast."
"Yeah some tea would be nice, no toast." Her appetite long gone again. "Could you get me another blanket I'm cold." There were small goose bumps forming on her arms as she spoke.
"Yeah I can." Carter said now standing up from his spot where he had been holding onto her. He walked to the closet and pulled out another blanket for her before heading back to the bed. He pulled the covers back so that she could slide under them as he wrapped the extra blanket around her so that she would be warm.
Abby watched as he disappeared into the kitchen, he was fretting over her as if she was a small child and she was having to work overtime to keep from having any kind of emotional outburst right now. Between the crying, yelling and feeling overwhelmed with all of it she had been on an emotional rollercoaster, uncertain of which way her emotions would fly next.
Abby knew inside that it wasn't fair to take all of it out on John, for he was just as much a victim of Sobriki's as she was. But yet he was the only one around and made such an easy target for her to lash out at. She really didn't want to be around anyone while she was going up and down with her emotions afraid of what she might say or what she might do next. It was those periods of uncertainty that she was beginning to dread.
"Here you go." He said returning several minutes later with a cup of tea for her, "but I wish you would try and eat something."
"I'm not a child John; if I don't want to eat then I'm not going to." She snapped and then realized what she had done. She fought the urge to hand her head, "no really I'm sorry I'm just tired and not feeling well. I just think I should wait a little longer before trying again."
Carter just looked at her for a moment and you could tell that Abby was completely exhausted, the black circles under her eyes gave it away. That and she just had that look to her that she got when she didn't get enough sleep, it could very well be the reason that she was so snappy with him. "Are you sleeping okay?" He knew that he was asking her a lot of questions but understandably he was worried about her.
"Yeah when I can." She said, "I think it's just from being sick, I sleep in spurts, but really please try not to worry about me, I'm going to be okay. I just need to ride this bug out."
He nodded, "okay." He made sure that she was warm enough before moving. "I'll let you get some more rest." He kissed her forehead again. "I'll just be in the other room if you need anything."
"You don't have to stay." She protested a little now.
"I know but I want to." He said.
She resigned right now to letting him stay it would only raise more questions if she threw another fit and kicked him out again. She hoped that having him there might put some of these fears to rest and let her get some much needed sleep.
Carter left the room, turning the lights off and making sure that the door was left open a crack so that he could hear her if she needed him. Something wasn't right with her and he was going to get to the bottom of what it was. If she wasn't feeling better soon and eating then he was going to drag her back to the ER kicking and screaming if he had to, he would rather have Abby hate him for the rest of his life than have something be wrong with her.
