Chapter 5 – A Debutante's Guide to Hunting and Fishing
"Chrissiania, if you would be so good as to introduce the Captain to a few of our distinguished guests." Lord Fop turned to his son. "And I'm sure that Miss Tashigi – "
"Sergeant Major," Smoker and Tashigi said.
"Sergeant Major, ah, of course" Lord Fop repeated quickly. "I'm sure she would like to meet the other debutantes."
Smoker and Tashigi exchanged glances, but they were already being led in opposite directions.
"We're so glad you came to our little island," Chrissiania said to Smoker as they walked away. She caught the eye of Annalinalou and raised her perfect eyebrow in an unmistakable way.
Annalinalou reluctantly acknowledged the signal. She quite enjoyed tearing another woman to shreds while oozing sweetness and gentility, but there were rich men waiting to be ensnared by feminine wiles. Doing Chrissiania's dirty work wasn't part of her schedule this evening.
"Miss Tashigi, let me introduce you to some of the fine young ladies of our island. This is Miss Annalinalou, Miss Georgettalee, and Miss Petuschia." Got consonants? Tashigi thought as Merrick kept going. He rattled off the names of over a dozen girls, who all nodded or inclined their fans at her.
"Would you like a drink?" He didn't give Tashigi time reply. "I'll let you ladies get acquainted. I'm sure you have much to talk about."
Merrick beat a hasty retreat – he was quite sure that they had nothing in common and was, in fact, counting on it.
On the far side of the ballroom…
Chrissiania introduced Smoker to the assembled aristocracy, then announced, "I think my father wants me. I'll be right back. Gentlemen, please take good care of the captain."
Smoker had seen some outrageous clothes in his life. Warped pirate logic dictated that in the middle of a battle it was important for everyone to know whose side you were on, or your friends might cut you down. So there were pirates that dressed like clowns, like cats, like dogs, with an emphasis on armor, or tattoos, or put flowers in their hats.
Unless Runess was more interesting than he'd been led to believe, these men had no reason to be dressed like this.
One of the aristocrats nodded politely at him and asked, "When did you arrive, Captain?"
"Early this morning," Smoker replied.
The lord nodded again, too busy composing his next question to have heard the answer to his first. "And how do you find the island of Runess?"
"With an Eternal Pose."
There was a silence until someone realized that he had made a joke. One of them chuckled. Then the rest of the group laughed. "Excellent riposte, Captain."
Maybe later he would tell them the one about the chicken and the road – if he thought they were up to the excitement.
Then someone asked him about the weather. Small talk wasn't difficult, Smoker reflected, but it was about as interesting as nuns' knickers.
A portly gentleman beamed at him. "I must ask you, Captain. Where did you get that wig?"
"Wig?" Two cigars landed on the polished wood floor. A servant appeared out of nowhere, quickly swept up the cigars, then disappeared again from sight.
"It's so clipped. Is that a Marine style then?" a brandy-swilling lord asked.
Another aristocrat spoke up. "What powder do you use? Most favor Hanson's All-Purpose, but I find its scent to be too fruity for my tastes."
Smoker's face was impassive as he said very slowly, "It's my real hair. I don't wear powder. And nothing 'fruity' comes near me. Ever."
Near the kitchens…
Jeffrey, the head serving man, stopped one of the staff.
"The Marine dropped his cigars. Go and offer him replacements."
"What kind?"
Jeffrey looked into the dusting pan. "Loguetown Leaf. And it appears the gentleman didn't drop them - he bit through them. Offer the Captain a whiskey as well."
In the den of pit vipers…
"What a charming dress," one of the debutantes commented.
"Thank you." Tashigi translated the remark from 'debutante' into 'Marine.' I wouldn't be caught dead in your clothes.
"It must be a change from those masculine uniforms you wear," Annalinalou observed airily.
You're a woman Marine so therefore you must be butch.
One girl tittered behind her fan. "I'm sure the other Marines don't mind what she wears."
Or loose. Tashigi kept the smile plastered on her face, though she found her hand hovering over where her sword should have been. Where was her drink?
At the refreshment table…
Chrissiania saw that Merrick was helping one of the servants prepare a drink for the Marine woman.
"Look, man, are you stupid? I don't want her – I mean, the lady doesn't want to be able to taste the alcohol, but there has to be lots in it. Oh hello," he said to his sister.
"The Marine woman?" Chrissiania asked.
"I left her with your friends."
"How long are you going to let her stew?"
"She'll be ready for marinating" – Merrick took the glass from the servant – "in a few moments."
Chrissiania narrowed her eyes. "Is it possible for you to follow Father's instructions without getting the woman intoxicated? Oh, silly me, I'm talking to you."
"Tried and true method, my darling sister." Merrick walked away.
Chrissiania glanced at the grandfather clock. Three more minutes and then she would go back tp the Marine. She had studied at length with the young lady who had ensnared last year's Marine invitee and knew exactly how to get him – the first step was invoking a feeling of gratitude.
On the far side of the ballroom…
Smoker regained control of himself. He couldn't lose it – not until he'd identified the debutante that was supposed to be after him. That was the main threat at the moment, he couldn't allow himself to be distracted by these …gentlemen.
The lords were laughing loudly again.
"Do you have much chance to hunt, Captain?"
"No," Smoker said. If he kept the answers short, maybe they would leave him alone.
One of the aristocrats chortled. "Sir Godwin, he's a Marine. They work at sea."
"Goodness! Of course! But the fishing must be marvelous."
The stupidity of the man amazed him. Fishing? "Have you ever even been on the Grandline?" Smoker asked.
"Never had the opportunity. My estates keep me occupied," Sir Godwin said, beaming at him. "They're very extensive estates. Have you met my daughter, by the way? Her name is Georgettalee."
"Haven't met," Smoker said shortly. And he'd do everything in his power to make sure they didn't. Georgettalee? What a mouthful, but at least he had a name for the enemy.
The kid who looked like she was playing dress-up in her mother's clothes came back. "Captain? My father would like to have a word with you before dinner begins. I hope you don't mind leaving the – "
"Where is he?" Smoker was already walking away.
Chrissiania followed him, slightly confused and wondering what happened to his gratitude.
Merrick appeared at Tashigi's side and handed her a small glass of punch. "Here you are. I just talked to my father and he wishes to speak to us. If you would be so kind?"
"Certainly." Tashigi smiled stiffly at the debutantes and took his arm.
Merrick was mildly put out. The woman didn't look even close to tears – how was he supposed to be the knight on the white horse if she wasn't emotionally scarred by Chrissiania's friends?
Somewhere else…
They prepared.
