Lane arrived at Rory's grandparent's house early the next morning. She wanted to be sure she caught Rory before she went out anywhere. She had never been to the house in Hartford before and she couldn't believe how big it was. She parked Gil's van on the street and walked slowly up the driveway, with her mouth open, staring at the enormity of the place. She knew that Rory's grandparents were rich but when she had thought about where Rory went when she went to Friday night dinners, she had never imagined this.
She made her way around the house to the backyard and the pool house. It didn't look like anyone was home but when she knocked on the glass door, Rory came out with a towel around her head and her robe on. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Lane, then she sighed and came and opened the door.
"What are you doing here?" she asked immediately, not giving Lane a chance to speak first.
"Well, hello to you too." Lane replied, slightly taken aback.
"Sorry. Hello. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just surprised to see you."
"I hope it's a good surprise." Lane smiled. "I've missed you." They were still standing at the door and Lane wondered if she was going to be asked inside or asked to leave. When Rory hesitated, Lane decided to force the issue and find out right then and there. "Can I come in or are we going to stand here for my entire visit?"
"Of course, come in." She stood aside to let Lane pass.
"So this is a pool house." Lane looked around a little bit. "I've never been in a pool house before." She walked behind the counter of the small kitchen area. "Jeez, this place is ten times nicer than my apartment."
Rory walked into the bedroom and closed the door. When she came out she was dressed in jeans and a sweater. She didn't even look at Lane sitting on the edge of the couch, but walked into the bathroom to fix her hair. When she only closed the door half way Lane stood up, walked over and leaned on the door frame of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry to just show up like this. I should have called."
Silence from inside the bathroom.
"I just wanted to see you so badly." She hesitated. "Your Mom told me you were here."
"What else did my Mom tell you?" Lane could hear the worry in Rory's voice.
"Nothing, she told me you were here and she gave me directions."
"Sure." Rory opened the door, glared at Lane, and walked into the living room.
"I asked her why you were here and not in Stars Hollow, but all she said was to ask you." Lane followed her, unsure of what she had done to deserve the look on Rory's face. "Look, I just have some news to tell you. Some news that I wanted to share with my best friend. So, I'll tell you and I'll go if you want me to."
Rory sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just – it's just." Rory looked away, but turned back quickly. "What news?" She asked as she sat down on the couch.
Lane sat down beside her and told her about her mom and the band and how she had gone to her and told her that the band was splitting up and how her mom had helped her and arranged the upcoming tour of the churches and how hopeful she was that this would give the band the exposure that they needed. Rory seemed genuinely happy for her and Lane hoped that it took her mind off her troubles for a little while as they discussed the band and the tour and her mom and even Zack.
"That Mrs. Kim, she's something isn't she?" Rory said when they had finished their discussion. She seemed to have warmed up to Lane. She wasn't exactly her old self but she was definitely better.
"Yes she is." Lane agreed, smiling, but suddenly her smile faded. "Rory, tell me what's wrong." She reached out and took Rory's hand. "Tell me why you're living here."
Rory tried to pull her hand away from Lane, but Lane held on tight. "Rory, you can tell me." Lane spoke quietly. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right."
Rory turned her head away and Lane thought she heard her start to cry. "Rory, I love you, you know that too right."
With that Rory turned to Lane and hugged her tight. Lane held her and wondered what could have happened. She knew it involved a fight with her Mother, and judging by the sadness on Lorelai's face the other day and by Rory, crying in her arms right now, she knew that this fight was bad, really bad.
Eventually Rory calmed down enough to talk and she told Lane about the internship and Mitchum Huntzberger and the bad review and about stealing the yacht and going to jail and about quitting Yale and the fight with her Mother. What she didn't tell her, was about going to dinner at the Huntzberger's and about them telling her that they didn't want her in their family, because she was a career woman. She didn't mention the dinner, because in her mind the dinner and the bad review had nothing to do with each other. She didn't connect that possibly the review was Mitchum Huntzberger trying to manipulate her into the kind of woman that he wanted for his son.
Lane couldn't believe what she was hearing. She sat quietly, not saying anything, not sure if she could have said anything if she had wanted to. And just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, Rory would lay another whopper on her. It was just one thing after another, after another. Finally when Rory stopped talking, Lane looked at her expectantly. "Is that it?" She asked, trying to figure out what to say next.
"Yeah, that's it." Rory looked at Lane expectantly, wanting to know what Lane thought.
"Wow!" Was all Lane could say.
"Yeah, wow." Rory knew how much she had just shocked Lane. It still shocked her when she thought about it and she had been there for all of it.
"Rory." Lane took Rory's hands in hers. "I have a question for you and I want you to think about the answer carefully and only when you are sure of your answer, should you tell me."
A worried expression appeared on Rory's face, but eventually she nodded. "Okay, I will if I can."
Lane hesitated, trying to formulate the question in her mind. "Okay," she began tentatively. "Let's say for a minute that none of this happened. I want you to forget about Mitchum Huntzberger, forget about your Mom and Logan and me and everyone. Think only about yourself and how you feel." She paused for a minute to let this sink in and Rory nodded. "Now, thinking only about yourself and what you want out of life, I want you to tell me what you want to do. Think about what would make you happy, what you would enjoy."
Lane took a deep breath and started to list off the choices they had just talked about. "Do you want to go to work every day to a job that your grandparents arranged for you? There would be no pressure, but would there be any rewards? Or do you want to move home to Stars Hollow and live with your Mom and work at Andrew's book store? Again, there would be no pressure, and you like books, a lot. Or do you want to go back to Yale and finish your four years there and become a journalist? It would be hard work, and there might be failures, but there would definitely be rewards if you are still interested in it. Or if you aren't interested in journalism anymore, maybe you want to do something else entirely." She tried to keep her feelings out of her voice, but she wasn't sure that she accomplished it all together. "Remember." She finished her little speech. "Think only about yourself and try to imagine that all things are possible. What do you want to do?"
"That's not fair." Rory said immediately. "Not all….."
Lane put her finger to her lips. "Sshhh." She said, interrupting Rory. "Think."
They both sat quietly for a few minutes and then Rory turned to Lane. "This isn't fair." Rory repeated herself. "Not all of these are viable options."
"But let's say they were, what would you want to do?"
"I would want to be a journalist of course." Rory crossed her arms and sat back on the couch. "But you knew that before you asked the question."
"I just wanted to see if you knew that." Lane turned to face Rory. "And I'm glad that you do." Lane hesitated, not sure how to say what she wanted to say next. Finally, she just blurted it out. "You have to do it Rory. You have to finish Yale. If you don't you will spend the rest of your life looking back on this time and wondering if you could have done it, wondering if you could have had the life you always wanted, the life you have dreamed of since I have known you and you will never know."
"I can't do it." Rory's voice was loud and resolute.
"So what," Lane raised her voice to match Rory's "So what if you can't do it, you have to try. If you fail, then you fail. We all have things in our life that we have failed at. As the saying goes, failure is a part of life. If we don't try things, just because we think we will fail, then we will have wasted our lives. What would it be like to go through life, being afraid to try things because we might fail? If you at least try and give it everything you've got, then you'll know you tried and you won't have to wonder if maybe, just maybe you could have done it. Then you can move on to something else."
"I don't want to waste my life trying to do something that I'm not good at." Rory stood up and began to pace the room. She was yelling now and Lane yelled back at her and matched her stride for stride. She wasn't about to let Rory get away from her. This was too important.
"You will only waste your life if you give up on something before you've finished it. Then you've wasted your life up until now. You've wasted all the time at Chilton. What about all the things you had published in the Chilton newspaper. What about all the time you spent on the Franklin, was that wasted. I guess it was if you just quit now. And what about Yale and all the articles you have had published there. Would they publish your articles if they were no good? If you don't at least try this, you may not fail at it but in a way you will have failed at life. My Mom told me this recently and it's true if you think about it."
Rory had stopped pacing and was staring at Lane with tears rolling down her cheeks. When Lane noticed she stopped yelling and went and gave Rory a hug. "I'm sorry." She said quietly. "I just love you and I want you to be happy."
"I know." Rory hugged her back and after a minute added. "But I can't do it Lane. I can't."
"It doesn't matter if you can do it or not. It doesn't matter if you fail or succeed. The important thing is that you tried and everyone who really loves you will tell you that. Everyone who really loves you will not care if you fail, if you try as hard as you can, that's all that counts." Lane pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I'm telling you the truth Rory. I know that it seems daunting now but if you just take it one day at a time and do the best that you can do on that day, then you will have done all that you can." Lane sighed and hugged Rory again. She had said all that she needed to say.
"Thank you." Rory hugged her again and she knew that Lane really loved her. She knew that Lane only wanted what was best for her. She could feel it and the best thing of all was that she knew that Lane would love her no matter what she did. If she tried or didn't try, if she failed or succeeded, she knew that she would always have Lane.
"Just think about it." Lane let go of her friend and moved towards the door. "That's all I ask, is that you think about what I said." She pulled an envelope from her back pocket and handed it to Rory. "Your Mom asked me to give this to you."
Rory looked at the front of it and read.
"Rory,
Please, please read this and remember that I love you so much and I always will.
Love.
Mom.
Rory set it on the table by the door and turned back to Lane with tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks.
"Rory," Lane took her hands in her own. "When I saw your Mom yesterday, I knew something was terribly wrong with her. Her eyes were so sad and when she said your name, she said it like a part of her was missing. She loves you Rory, she loves you very much and I know you are mad at her, but she is human and maybe she made a mistake. She told me that she wished she had done things differently. Give her another chance. Read her letter." Lane hugged Rory once more and turned and left the pool house.
I hope you have enjoyed it so far. Please, give me a review, it doesn't have to be long, although I would like ideas, suggestions, or a little constructive criticism too. I will try to get the next chapter up soon.
