Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any of these characters, no matter how much I wish I did.
Chapter 6Rory watched Lane walk around to the front of the house and when she could no longer see her she turned her attention to the envelope on the table. She stared at it for a long time without moving, then abruptly she turned and walked away, leaving it untouched sitting on the table. She walked into the bedroom and closed the door, as if the door would cut her off from the envelope, she so didn't want to read, but also wanted to read more than anything else in the world. She missed her Mom so much, but she was so mad at her. When she needed her more than ever before, she had turned her away. She had told her that she was not welcome in her own house. The house that she loved and would always consider home. It hurt, it hurt a lot and she could still feel that hurt. She didn't understand why her Mom had done it and yet she did understand that she had hurt her Mom deeply too.
Rory sat on her bed and thought about all these things and eventually she found herself propelled back to the envelope on the table. She picked it up gingerly and carried it to the sofa and sat down. She read and reread the front of it. Smiling at the recognition of her Mom's handwriting and rubbing her thumb over the words gently as if they held a part of her Mother in them and somehow she was closer to her if she was touching the words. "Remember that I love you very much and always will."
"I love you too Mom." Rory said out loud and tears spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. "And I always will too." She copied her Mother's words. "I always will." She repeated in a whisper and clutched the envelope to her chest and cried.
When she woke up a couple of hours later it took her a minute to remember the letter, but when she did she searched for it frantically, remembering that it had been in her hands when she cried herself to sleep. She found it between the cushions of the couch and she let out a sigh of relief and stood up and walked to the desk. She opened the top drawer and took out a letter opener and carefully sliced open the top of the envelope. Then she slowly walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed leaning up against the headboard. She looked in the envelope but didn't remove what was inside. She closed it and her eyes at the same time, as she held it in front of her with both hands. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, removed the paper from the envelope, set the envelope carefully away from her on the bed so she wouldn't crumple it and opened the paper.
Dear Rory,
This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. It is so important and so much is riding on it, but that is not what makes it so hard. The hard part is trying to put down in words my feelings for you. I could tell you that I love you and I do but that is not nearly enough to describe how I feel about you. You are my heart and my soul. When you are not with me, I feel incomplete, I feel like a large part of me is missing. I want you with me always and forever and nothing, absolutely nothing could change that.
When you were just a few months old and we were still living with your grandparents, you were lying in your bassinette. You weren't sleeping but you weren't crying either. I was lying on my bed not far away, reading a book. You started to fuss a little bit and as I had just had a big fight with my Mom about her not running to you, every time you made a little noise, I let you fuss for a few minutes. It was hard to do. I wanted to run to you every time you made a noise also but I knew that that was not best for you. You had to learn that nap time was nap time and play time was play time. It was best for you if you stayed on a schedule and I was determined to teach you that.
However, this particular time, you weren't really crying, so after a while I got up and tried to sneak over to see what was wrong without you seeing me. Well, I wasn't very good at it and as soon as you saw me, you stopped fussing, a big smile appeared on your face and you reached your arms towards me. You had never done that before. Nothing was wrong with you, you just wanted me to pick you up and I felt my heart melt at that exact moment. I picked you up in my arms and held you tight, maybe a little too tight, because at that moment I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. I knew that I would do everything I could to give you the childhood that I never had. I knew that I would try my hardest to give you a life that would make you happy. I knew that no matter how hard it was, I would do whatever was best for you. Nothing else mattered except you and nothing has changed for me since that day. Nothing else matters to me except you. You come first in my life and you always will.
I have tried over the years, to always do what is best for you. I know that many times I have messed up, but I have tried. I know that I could have done better and I am sorry for that. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy. All I want now is for you to be happy. I know I messed up big time with you this time and I am sorry. I should have listened to you. That is one thing that I have always tried to do, is to listen to you and try to understand where you are coming from. I never had that with my parents, so I realized how important it was. I tried to listen to you and I always tried to explain what I was feeling so that you would understand why I did what I did.
This time I was so surprised that I reacted with my emotions and not my head. I'm really sorry I did that and I would love it if you would give me another chance. I know I don't deserve it, and I know I hurt you a lot, but I love you so much I didn't want to see you make a mistake. See now I am sounding like my Mother and you probably know how that makes me feel, but in an odd way I understand why she does what she does.
The hardest part about raising you was trying to let go of you. To let you grow up and go out into the world and away from me, just about killed me. I fought with myself a lot, when I wanted to phone you all the time, when I wanted to just wrap you up in my arms and keep you safe, but I knew I couldn't do it. I had to let you go. I had to let you grow up and become the beautiful woman that you are now. That is the difference between me and my Mother. I knew that I had to let you go. No matter how hard it was I had to let you make your own decisions, I had to let you develop a life outside of my life. My Mother never let me go and she still wants to make my decisions for me.
Okay, I'm rambling now, but then what else is new. This wouldn't be a letter from me if I didn't ramble on a little bit. Look, I have to go out of town for a few days and I would love it if you would come home and stay in our house while I'm gone. No one knows anything here in Stars Hollow, except Luke, who is going away with me and Sookie, who I swore to secrecy, so you could come home and stay at our house for a few days and everything would be normal, except I wouldn't be here, which is probably what you would prefer right about now.
And I would love it if you were still at the house when I come home on Saturday afternoon. You wouldn't have to stay there with me if you didn't want to, (Although, I would love it if you moved home for good.) but I thought that we could talk. I promise I won't yell at you and I won't try to force you into anything you really don't want, but I need you. I need a hug from you. I need you to forgive me. I know I was an idiot and I promise to try to be better.
Remember you have my heart always!
Love MomRory looked at the letter for a long time without moving. Tears ran steadily down her face as they had since she read the first sentence. Eventually, after reading it three or four times, all the while wiping the tears out of her eyes so she could see the words, she set the letter down on top of the envelope, far away from her on the bed and turned her face into the pillow and really began to cry.
A/N: Hope you liked it, but please give me a review no matter what. Chapter 7 shouldn't be very far away.
