Disclaimer: Much of this stuff is Tolkien's. Mmmmkay.
Parted
Chapter
3: Parted
Elrond continued staring at his daughter. He had always feared this day, but never so much as now, because it hadn't actually come. There had always been that slight, remote, distant possibility that things would change. But they hadn't. That last remaining ray of hope that he'd clung to was being crushed.
Thunder echoed in the distance, and black clouds continued to roll in from afar. "Lord Elrond!" yelled the boatman. "We simply cannot delay! This storm will be the death of us."
"Farewell, Ada. I will always love you." The words were meant in love and grace, but the final product haunted, crushed, and choked Elrond.
No, you do not, he thought. How could one who loves me torment me in this merciless manner? But he did not say anything. For deep down, he knew this wasn't true. He knew she loved him as much as he did her. And that was all that kept him from lashing out in a combination of broken-heartedness and rage. But on the surface, in the here and now, he truly believed that she hated him. Why would she abandon him if she did? Him, his sons, all of the other elves?
Arwen stared at her father, motionless and static. She couldn't blame him. What was he to do? Jump for joy? And so, she raised her arms to hug him and began walking toward him.
But, still, Elrond did not see what truly lay before him. He did not see his daughter coming to communicate "Goodbye, I'll always love you and never forget you," but something rather like "It was fun for a while, but I'm tired of you. So tired of you that I'd rather die without you than live forever with you." He tried to reach down to the inner recesses of his mind, where he knew he'd find the truth, but right now he just couldn't reach that far.
Suddenly a horrible clatter was heard, causing Arwen to stop, midstride. First, the distinct roar of lightning and thunder, but much closer than any of them had ever heard. Then, the loud crack of the splitting of wood, mithril, and other materials used by the elves for crafting. Obviously, the boat was destroyed. The boatman swore loudly. "It looks like we will not be heading out today after all. We might as well all flee this place." Everyone began scattering mindlessly, anywhere they could get away from the thunder. The rain was unavoidable, though.
Elrond and Arwen were left standing there. All either of them cared about at this particular moment was the other. Thunder mattered little.
Thoughts raced in Elrond's mind. The truth which he knew, deep down, emerged from its hiding place into his will and conscious. But the deceptions remained; those evil thoughts, with little miniature minds and consciences of their own, didn't want to die. The thoughts began to fight each other violently. Then another thought sprang up: I will not break down...I will be strong for her. But this intention could not survive on the harsh battlefield of his other mental entities. And so, the emotions were released. His head sank down into his hands, and the tears began to pour.
Arwen had never seen her Ada like this. Never...well, except perhaps when Celebrían had left. She had left him here alone. All he had left were his sons and daughter. His wife was gone. ... ... It was here and now that she truly realized what she was doing to him, and that the full scope of the situation hit her. She was leaving him. He wasn't leaving her. It was the other way around. She was doing the same thing to him that Celebrían had done. The same thing that had given Arwen some of the most awful pains and nightmares of her life. Pains and nightmares that Ada had sacrificed time to "make them go away," as she would have said as a child. For a second, she strongly contemplated seeking a way to go back on her decision. But then she thought of Aragorn. She thought of Aragorn, who would have to live in this painful world by himself. Or, with someone else...that thought, she could not bear. But she loved Ada too. How was this going to work?
She walked over too him, put her arms around him, and put her head on his shoulder. "Ada, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain this is causing us." Elrond's sadness decreased, a slight, but noticeable, amount.
"Us? He backed his head and looked at her face. "Isn't this what you wanted?"
Arwen then began to cry as well. "Have you thought all this time that I wasn't absolutely devastated that we would be parted?"
Elrond's mouth said nothing, but his eyes said "Yes."
"Why didn't you ever tell me you felt that? It isn't true...not in the least bit. My choice was not easy...it was agonizingly difficult. I will miss you almost more than I can bear. But I cannot leave my love here to just simply live and die without me."
When she had said, "I will miss you more than I can bear," there was truth in her eyes. And to Elrond, it sounded that she would miss him almost as much as he would miss her. Almost. Enough to comfort him. "I...I didn't want to tear your heart...I didn't want to make you feel guilty for your decision. I thought that the decision was easy. I thought that if I told you what I was really feeling, you would feel sympathy for me and nothing else. Do you really want to know the truth? The truth is this. Without you, my only daughter, knowing I'll never see you again and wondering if you're even still alive, eternity will be miserable for me." But then he reflected upon that. It was no longer true...he would be sad, but he would be happy too. For he hadn't realized, until just now, how much she would miss him.
They say that misery loves company. It is true. Now that he knew he wasn't the only one, it would not be half as bad.
"No...that's not true," he told her. "I will be very sad, but not intolerably sad. Not now that the truth has been revealed to me."
Arwen was still in disbelief that her dear Ada had thought such a thing. She would think of him every day, nay, every hour, in an ironic combination of happiness for the time they spent together, and sadness because of their parting. She put her head upon his shoulder again and whispered into his ear. "Le melon, Ada."
During the course of all of this, they had not realized that, by some miracle, the horrendous storm had cleared. The boatman returned presently. "Saved!" he said. "Fortune smiles upon us...another boat is prepared and will be here within minutes." He spoke truth, for soon another boat was ready to go. "Namárië, Ada," Arwen said.
"Namárië, iell nîn. Le annon veleth nîn." Elrond slowly boarded the boat. Each step was painful. But it was easier when he remembered that he wasn't the only one in pain. When the plank was lifted, the anchor was retrieved, and the vessel began to sail, it was like a jagged, rusty shard of mithril to the head. As the boat drifted on, he stared back at her, with both complete joy and horrible sadness. And she gazed toward the boat in exactly the same way. They never turned their sights from each other until they were too far away even to reckon the correct direction.
Nothing and no-one would ever come between them. Not even the vast, nearly impassable, sea separating Middle-Earth from Valinor. It may come between their physical beings. But it would never come between them.
Well, that's it. What do you think? Again, it's my first fic, so go a bit easy...oh and the Sindarin is basically winged (wung?). So if it is wrong, PLEASE TELL ME. Here's what it's supposed to mean:
Le melon, Ada I love you, dad
Namárië, Ada Farwell, dad
Namárië, iell nîn Farwell, my daughter
Le annon veleth nîn You have my love
