Haunted
By Be Boring
Chapter 13: Confusion Reigns
The last three weeks had been the worst of Necia's life, outside of the time she had spent recuperating at St. Mungo's after her mother's death. She was suddenly the most hated person in Hogwarts, her own friends were still avoiding her, Malfoy was insulting her openly at every possible opportunity and receiving more laughs than even he had bargained for, and worst of all, her identity had been made known to more than just the students. Two days after Lucius was arrested, an article had come out in the Daily Prophet that not only focused on him, but on her possible involvement. Nobody believed that she hadn't been helping Lucius, but Dumbledore had pointed out that they had no evidence on which to arrest her, so they were forced to let her go. She had gotten the distinct impression off Moody during her interrogation that he would have loved nothing more than to haul her off to Azkaban at any moment. The only people who she knew believed she was innocent were Dumbledore, Tonks, Lupin, and Snape. Well, technically Lucius and Draco knew too, but they weren't any help.
To her great surprise, Snape had told Moody point blank during his questioning that Necia was not involved in any way, shape, or form with Lucius, and that Lucius was merely attempting to get her to join him because of her talents. She had heard this from Tonks though, because Snape hadn't spoken to her since the incident. When she went down to his classroom for her lessons, he wasn't even there but instead left his instructions on the blackboard. At least he was only giving her potions to work on, because she really wasn't in the right state of mind to concentrate on an essay.
Unfortunately, she was contemplating going to his office and seeing him tonight. She was convinced that she had dropped the pictures that Draco had shown the Gryffindors when she was running out of his room, because when she had looked in her pockets for them later that night, they were gone. These days her mother was the only thing she could think about without feeling a very strong sense of ill treatment. She had been delaying getting the pictures back because she had the strong sense that Snape simply didn't want to see her, but tonight she had actually finished her homework before her Potions lesson, and there really wasn't any excuse not to go retrieve the pictures now that she was so close, no matter how unpleasant it would be.
When she had finished cleaning up the area around her cauldron, she tentatively headed down the corridor toward his office. His avoidance of her gave her the distinct feeling that she would not be received well when she forced him to confront her. She paused outside his door, her fist raised hesitantly, and finally she gave two very light knocks, telling herself that if he didn't answer immediately, she was going to take off. Perhaps it would be a better idea to seek him out in the teachers' lounge when there were several other teachers around.
Too late.
"Come in," Severus called out distractedly, staring down at the picture of Cassandra and Necia standing in their garden, broad smiles on both of their faces. He had taken to staring at both pictures at every possible opportunity, torn between his original anger that he always felt when she popped into his mind and a newer feeling, guilt, and even some traces of self-blame. He had left her alone when she was pregnant, even though he hadn't known it at the time, and if this picture and her last name were anything to go by, she hadn't married. She had remained a single mother. Why hadn't she moved on? She was a beautiful woman and she was certainly amiable enough to attract men to her in flocks, so why had she chosen to raise her daughter alone?
Although his mind had dwelt on Cassandra almost constantly for the past few weeks, he had almost completely avoided thinking about Necia. As far as he was concerned, nothing was different there. Anything that might have been in her favor because she was Cassandra's daughter was obliterated by her status as Sirius's daughter and her friendship, although currently on hiatus, with Harry Potter and his friends. The only reason that he hadn't supervised his own lessons with her was because it was rather painful to look at her. She really looked so much like her mother. If it weren't for her dark hair, they would be virtually mirror images. She had some of Sirius's height and lean build, for she didn't have quite the same petite figure as her mother, and the mischievous glint that sometimes appeared in her eye was eerily reminiscent of both her parents, but for the most part, Cassandra was the parent she had taken after.
When the door slowly creaked open and Necia poked her head nervously inside, he automatically dropped the picture and slid some other papers over it when she glanced away anxiously, staring at her coldly. "What is it?" he asked tonelessly, not wanting her to even suspect that he had been thinking about anything—or anyone—related to her.
She looked as though she didn't want to be here any more than he wanted her to be there. "Actually, sir," his eyebrows raised slightly, she rarely used this kind of civility around him, "I think I left something in your classroom a while ago. Did you find any pictures of…" She paused, looking at him hopefully as though waiting to see if he would catch her meaning without her actually having to finish the sentence. After all, her mother was a touchy subject with nearly everyone else in Hogwarts because it was a significant reminder of who she was. When he didn't respond at all, she quickly finished, "Any pictures of my mother? One of them would have me in it."
He pretended to shuffle through his papers and happen across the photograph he had just been looking at, flicking it carelessly to the edge of his desk. "Are you talking about this?"
Necia rushed forward and took it eagerly, and he watched her eyes hungrily scan down the picture before she looked up at him again. He knew she was dying to ask whether or not he had the other picture, but with a sudden urge to hold onto the remaining photograph, he quickly informed her, "That is all I have."
She muttered a quick thanks as she hurried back toward the door, obviously very relieved that she had gotten the photograph back without too much trouble, then paused and looked back at him. She seemed to be thinking something over as she studied him. "Is there something else?" he asked briskly, trying to convey in his voice that he wanted her to leave.
"Did…did you know my mother?" she asked hesitantly. He was slightly taken aback, he hadn't expected her to ask him anything like that. Seeing his surprise, she quickly blurted out, "I mean, you'd be about the same age, so you must have at least seen her in school. You weren't in the same House, but all the same…" Her voice trailed off nervously, then she mumbled, "Forget it, I was just curious." Before he even had a chance to think about answering her, she was out the door.
'Did I know her?' he thought wearily, although with some amusement.
Her soft moan rumbled beneath his lips as he kissed her neck lightly, and Severus glanced up just in time to watch Cassandra's eyes half flutter closed with pleasure as his hands gently massaged her breasts through her robes. She arched into him, reaching up at the same time and pulling him down for a passionate kiss, her free hand sliding over his back. As gently as possible, he slipped a hand under her robes to feel the satiny skin of her body without any obstacles. He felt her breath catch in her throat for a moment, then she began to very gradually slip her robes off her shoulders, completely exposing the upper half of her body to him. He was almost frozen at first at the realization of just how possible it was that tonight could finally be the night when he and Cassandra would be together. It was strange how the prospect of graduating in a few short weeks seemed to set everything in motion.
Cassandra's parents had been sending her daily letters, telling her that they expected her to go on to schooling at a higher level, and the chances that she would be able to remain as close to him as she always had seemed very slim. Perhaps that was what had prompted her to ask him to meet her in the empty room at the top of the North Tower. Nobody ever came up here, it was simply too much hassle unless they were trying to do exactly what Cassandra and Severus were doing now.
For some reason they had never come close to being even remotely intimate before. Or rather, they hadn't done anything beyond a few quick, harmless kisses goodnight. Now, however, as she slid off the rest of her clothes and left herself completely open to him, allowing him to see every magnificent inch of her pale, creamy skin, he knew that this was going to change everything. He would no longer just be some friend that helped her with her homework, he was going to be much, much more to her.
Although at this point they were both as naked as the day they were born, Severus absolutely refused to rush things. He had waited a long time for this, and he cared enough for Cassandra to want it to be something more than a quick roll in the hay, no matter how much that would have satisfied him. His mouth trailed over her body, drawing more soft moans from her lips, but just before he had reached the one place she wanted him more than anywhere else, something distracted him. People were coming up the spiral staircase beneath them.
Cassandra grabbed her robes quickly as they scrambled into a dark corner behind what seemed to be a high chair draped in a dusty white sheet. Severus's stomach dropped painfully to his knees as James Potter and Lily Evans burst in, scrambling up through the old trapdoor in the floor. Cassandra quickly gestured for him to follow her as she slipped toward the trapdoor, which James and Lily had left open in their hurry to be together. They were far too distracted to notice two people slip out of the shadows to drop through the trapdoor, but that didn't stop Severus's boiling rage that once again, James Potter had spoiled something so important for him.
"There are more empty classrooms," Cassandra whispered as she refastened her robes, not wanting to take the chance of a teacher coming across them half dressed. With the prospect of still getting to be with her, he was just starting to get over his anger when Professor Flitwick came waddling around the corner. Both Cassandra and Severus rushed to get out of the way, but Cassandra wasn't fast enough.
"Ms. Malfoy, what are you doing out of bed?" Flitwick asked, looking absolutely stunned to see her there. Usually Cassandra was a model student. As she fumbled for an answer, he interrupted her. "I'm going to have to report this to Professor Sprout, you know." Soon he scurried back up the hall, with Cassandra trailing sulkily after him, glancing back over her shoulder at Severus. She mouthed helplessly, "I'm sorry" before turning and following Flitwick out of sight.
It was strange how fast time flew. Now he was colleagues with Flitwick and Sprout, and the once empty room in the North Tower had been turned into Professor Trelawney's Divination classroom, at her request. Perhaps she didn't know what it had once been used for.
Severus could no longer hold himself back. He stalked to a cupboard at the very far side of the room, reached onto the bottom shelf, shoved aside a jar of pickled toads' brains, and pulled out a small, nearly black bottle the size of his hand. It contained a rather potent Confusion Draught, which he only used when he couldn't take his surroundings anymore. It was very pleasant to not have a care in the world, which was what happened when there were no outside influences, and it often helped him fall into a sleep full of dreams that, while strange, at least were interesting. He didn't often remember what he did after he had taken the potion, but he always woke up feeling somewhat refreshed. He took a particularly large gulp before shoving the bottle back to its place on the bottom shelf and hiding it again behind the toads' brains. As he meandered drowsily across the office towards the hidden door that led to his bedroom, he paused at the desk and pulled out the Malfoy family picture. As long as he was no longer unhappy, it couldn't hurt to look at her again.
When Necia finally returned to her dormitory, which was always directly where she went because it was too uncomfortable to sit down in the common room where everyone was staring reproachfully at her, she was surprised to see that it wasn't empty. Ginny was sitting on Lavender's bed, flipping idly through one of her textbooks until she realized that Necia was standing there. Necia had no idea what to say.
"I, uh, wanted to talk to you," Ginny began lamely, not quite meeting her eyes. "It really hasn't been the same down there without you," she added after a brief pause.
Necia felt a tiny rush of excitement, but pushed it away, not willing to get her hopes up. "I've missed you a lot, but I didn't really know how to approach you again."
Now both thoroughly embarrassed, Ginny's eyes landed on the photo in Necia's hand. "What's that?"
Necia hesitated, but decided there was no point in hiding it. She held it up to show her. "I dropped it in Snape's room a while ago, I just got it back tonight."
Nervously she watched as Ginny's expression grew very hard to read, then her friend's eyes moved up to meet hers. "I think we may as well get it over with. Just what happened the day after we all found out, when you came walking out of that house where Lucius Malfoy was being arrested? I know what the papers said, and I know what the rest of the school thinks, but I want to hear it from you."
Now feeling more hopeful than ever, Necia rushed to sit next to her on the bed. "I know it seems really difficult to believe because we're family, but I wasn't helping Lucius. That was the first time I had met him. I've gotten a few letters from his wife; she was the one who entered me in Hogwarts under a different name. She said it was to protect me from the reaction that the Malfoy name usually receives, but maybe it was so that they would have some leverage over me, which Draco took full advantage of. Even though I obviously knew we were related, Draco didn't find out until over Christmas break, and he used it to make me so mad that I chased him into Hogsmeade where his dad Stunned me and took me to that house."
It was hard to tell whether or not Ginny believed her, but after hearing the words come out of her own mouth, Necia realized how far-fetched it all sounded. Then Ginny asked the one question that she couldn't answer. "Why, though? Why did Lucius go through all that trouble? Couldn't he have come to see you anytime when you were with your mum? Why did he actually need to kidnap you, and what did he want?"
"I really don't know what he wanted. He said he wanted my help with making potions, but that's pretty much it. Maybe he kidnapped me because he wasn't positive I would agree to see him if he just asked through a letter?"
"What did you say?"
"I never really answered. I was a little too overwhelmed by the fact that he had Stunned me and taken me to a strange place, because that doesn't seem like a very honest thing to do, does it? He tried to convince me…" She trailed off, unsure if she wanted to tell Ginny about the potion he had given her.
Ginny noticed the look on her face. "What did he do?"
Finally deciding that maybe it would be good to get an outside opinion on Lucius's gift, she crossed to her trunk and pulled out the vial. "He said this would give my mother the chance to say her last good-byes, but I've been researching ever since he gave it to me and I haven't found anything that gives people the chance to talk to the dead. I don't even know how it would work, or if he was just lying to me and it's potentially dangerous."
Ginny took the vial from her and studied it. "I don't know as much as you do, but I'm leaning towards your last thought. Coming from Lucius Malfoy, I wouldn't trust it at all. Besides, if he was asking you for help in making potions, then who made this? How can you be sure it's even made correctly?"
Necia hadn't thought about that before. Even if it was really supposed to do what Lucius had told her it would, how could she know that something hadn't gone wrong during its making? She paced the room restlessly, wishing that she had the confidence to take the potion to Dumbledore to ask what he thought, but she was almost frightened of going to see him. He hadn't punished her in any way for lying about her identity, which was fully within his rights seeing as how she had signed up for school under a false name, but all the same she didn't really want to see him. It was funny how many people she didn't want to see lately.
As she passed by Parvati's bedside table, she noticed a few candies lying near her makeup kit. "Do you think she'd mind?" she asked guiltily, picking up one of the candies that was concealed within a very bright purple wrapper.
"She'll never miss it," Ginny replied, reaching out and grabbing one of the candies for herself, but before she had finished unwrapping it, Necia let out a gasp of surprise. The candy had turned out to be a yellow taffy that as soon as she swallowed it, turned her hair a gleaming, golden blonde. "Oh!" Ginny gasped, pulling out her own candy, which was pitch black. "I've always wanted to try these. It's the newest form of hair coloring. Before you actually had to use a potion on yourself or have someone very talented use a charm on you, but these will turn your hair the same color as the candy. It's only temporary though, it washes out really easily. It looks like you got Sun-Kissed Gold. I'm pretty sure this is Hell-Pit Ebony."
"Nice name," Necia commented absentmindedly, studying the effects of the taffy in the mirror. She didn't look half bad as a blonde, although that was because she looked even more like her mother, and as far as she was concerned, her mother had been the most beautiful woman alive. She heard Ginny's grunt of disgust and turned around. It didn't take long to figure out why Ginny wasn't pleased. Black most certainly did not suit her. It made her pale skin stand out much more than usual, also bringing her freckles into more prominence. Normally Ginny's freckles managed to be flattering, but they stood out painfully with the black hair framing them.
Suddenly, the door to the dormitory opened and Hermione stepped inside, staring at them both blankly for a second as she took in their changes. Necia quickly snatched the vial back from Ginny behind her back, unwilling to let Hermione see it. There was a very long pause as they all stared at each other, then Hermione stated in a chilly voice, "I was just going to sleep. I'd appreciate it if I could turn the lights off as soon as I've changed."
"Do whatever you like," Necia replied, heading for the door, "I won't stand in your way." Ginny froze for a moment, unsure of what to do, then rushed after Necia. She followed her all the way out of Gryffindor Tower and into a completely deserted passageway where the moonlight from the window cast eerie shadows on the opposite wall. In the dim light, Necia was pulling out the vial and forcing it open, pausing as Ginny grabbed her arm.
"What are you doing?"
Necia stared at the potion in her hands. What did it really matter anymore if something was wrong with it or not? If it went right, she would get to talk to her mother again. If it didn't, why should she care? It wasn't like anything else was going right, and maybe if it was serious enough to send her to the hospital wing, she could avoid going to class for a few days and just have some time truly to herself. If she died, she'd get to see her mother anyway, so it seemed like a win-win situation. Without answering Ginny, she tilted her head back and emptied the vial's contents into her mouth, swallowing as Ginny lunged at her to knock it out of her hands.
At first, it didn't seem like anything had happened. Ginny stepped back and studied her anxiously, as though worried she would keel over at any moment. Then, as Necia stared right back at her friend, her entire body started to shake. It felt like someone was trying to rip her head right in half, and an electric tingle was suddenly racing the length of her body. Ginny grabbed her arm to hold her steady, and just as suddenly as it had all started, it stopped. She stumbled shakily away from Ginny to lean on the wall, staring around with strangely wide eyes.
"Wh-What's going on?" she asked numbly, her wide, staring eyes now resting on Ginny.
Ginny could only watch her with concern. "Maybe we should go talk to Madam Pomfrey, you're not looking too good." As Necia just continued to gaze blankly at her surroundings, as though she had absolutely no idea where she was, she added, "It would almost be better to talk to Snape, since he might at least be able to tell us what potion this is, but I don't think he'd—"
"Snape?" Necia blurted out suddenly, her eyes darting back to Ginny. "Did you say Snape? Where is he?"
The youngest Weasley had no idea how to respond. Why was Necia acting so strangely? "He's either in his office or in the Potions classroom, but why…?" She trailed off as suddenly Necia's eyes seemed to brighten with recognition as she looked around once more, and without warning she tore down the hall, veering around the corner at an insane speed. "Wait!" she shouted as she ran after her, but it was too late, Necia must have taken off down a side passage, because when she reached the corridor she had just turned down, she was nowhere to be seen. Just as she was about to start searching, Harry's voice called out behind her.
"Hey Ginny, what are you doing out here?" She couldn't even reply, her eyes still gazing down the empty corridor. He studied her face in concern, then took her by the arm. "Come on, let's get back to the common room. We've got a Quidditch match tomorrow, you'll want to be in top form." Still unsure about what to do, Ginny automatically began walking with Harry back toward the common room. Then, as Harry began talking about their upcoming match with Ravenclaw, her mind turned to focus on him, and her worries about Necia faded from high importance. Necia was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and at least Snape would be able to figure out what was wrong with her.
The problem was that Necia Malfoy was no longer in charge of her own body. Gasping for air and following passages that she could have walked in her sleep from the amount of times she had traveled through them, Cassandra Malfoy was making her way down to the dungeons.
Severus's mind was pleasantly blank as he lay on his back, inspecting the Malfoy family portrait with his fogged eyes. Cassandra looked so uncomfortable in the picture, as though she would really rather not be there, or at least she would like to stand next to someone other than her cousin, who looked as arrogant as ever.
"Sev?"
His head lifted off the pillow at the sound of a very soft, anxious female voice. "Hello, Cassandra," he greeted lightly. He'd had his fair share of hallucinations when under the influence of the Confusion Draught, and although he had never before seen Cassandra, it didn't surprise him that he was seeing her now.
Although he couldn't see her quite clearly, her face looked strangely sad. "You've grown up so much. I almost didn't recognize you." She took several steps closer to him, her eyes landing on the picture in his hands. "What are you looking at that for? Where did you get it?"
He didn't bother to answer. "You haven't changed at all. You still look exactly the same as the last time I saw you." As he finished his sentence, his face hardened and he turned his head in the other direction. He didn't really want this hallucination to continue. Usually if he just focused somewhere else for a few minutes, his hallucinations went away.
"Sev, don't be like that," she said softly, her voice breaking slightly. "You know perfectly well what happened."
"Actually, I don't," he replied stiffly, turning to look at her again. Why wouldn't she go away? "I saw you naked on the floor with Black, and that's all I needed to know."
She reached out and laid a hand on his forearm, and suddenly he sat bolt upright, struggling to concentrate through the haze the Confusion Draught had placed on him. She was as warm and solid as he was, he'd never had any visions this realistic before. Her eyes burned into his imploringly, tears shimmering just around the edges as she said, "You left me alone in that room. I waited for a little while, but you didn't come back and I thought I was okay, so I left. I had just reached the Great Hall again when I ran into him. I had no idea what I was doing, and I couldn't really see very well. I thought…" she hesitated for a moment, then plunged on, "I thought he was you. You're both tall with black hair, and I drank so much pumpkin juice that night that I really couldn't tell the difference, and it didn't matter much. I had missed you so much while I was at that damned university that I was in a bit of a rush."
Her words were only slightly sinking in, he was spending too much time just staring at her, trying to figure out whether she was real or not, but one thing did reach him. "You thought he was me?"
"Did you really think I would just sleep with Sirius Black? He was such an asshole at school, I wouldn't have let him near me even if he were the last man alive. I loved you, Sev."
He simply couldn't say the words in reply; even under the influence of his potion he couldn't expose himself so blatantly, but he managed to get his feelings across pretty well. He pulled her roughly down to him, kissing her with such fire that for a moment she tried to jerk away from him. His lips crushed against hers, and his tongue invaded her mouth almost cruelly, but she knew that was just his way. He had missed her, and his way of showing it was by unleashing all of his emotions in that one harsh kiss. One hand reached up and cupped the back of her head, giving her no room for escape, and he dragged her heavily against him, his other hand sliding down her body to seek out every curve he could reach. Finally, he loosened his grip on her and allowed her to pull her head back.
"What about now?"
Her eyes seemed to be reflecting the painful combination of passion and the long-denied excitement of seeing him again that he knew his must show as well. "Nothing has changed, Sev, I've never stopped thinking about you." He didn't give her a chance to explain further.
After so many years of longing for her, it never occurred to Severus that this was anything more than a wonderful dream. It couldn't be real, it was just something brought on by the potion he had taken, and he didn't want it to end. No matter how real it felt, no matter how salty her skin was beneath his tongue, no matter how authentic her gasps of pleasure seemed as he explored every inch of her, stroking, kissing, and tasting, he never allowed himself to believe this was anything but a fantasy. Even when he finally buried himself inside her, forcing her to actually cry out in a combination of pleasure and pain, he couldn't let himself think this was real. If it was actually happening, then there were questions he would have to ask, and right now he didn't want to have to worry about that. He just wanted to enjoy her thoroughly.
After he had worn himself to the point of exhaustion with her for what seemed countless times, he finally had to give in and drift off into a very relaxed sleep, pulling her against him so that he could enjoy the simple pleasure of her warmth. If there were any questions to be asked, they would have to wait until the morning. Right now he just wanted to be with her.
