Chapter 15: I'm not home.
Carl spent over an hour trying to get to Abby, reach her in someway, but it seemed that right now the more that he tried the less that he seemed to get from her. She just sat there in silence her eyes glazed over and there was still that look of an empty shell on her face. She had for all intense purposes shut completely down due to what she had suffered and was in a state of shock, but for all intense purposes and lack of a better word to call it, Abby was comatose.
Susan and Carter had coffee, walked and talked a little before heading back upstairs to see what progress, or rather hoped for progress had been made.
"Carl, how is she?" Carter asked when they spotted the experienced psychologist sitting at the main admitting desk in psych.
"You were right to be worried about her." Carl said looking at the two of them, "she's shut down; the events that have occurred are too much for her to deal with so she's gone, for a lack of another way to put it, gone into her own little world."
"What do we do for her?"
"I'd like to keep her here and try to work with her, see if we can't find a way to reach her, to make her feel safe enough that she will begin to open up to us."
"Safe here?" Carter said, "no offense Carl, but I think this is one of the few places Abby will definitely not feel save in."
"Why is that Dr. Carter?"
Carter sighed now as he looked over at Susan, perhaps she could explain it better than he could for he wasn't there when it happened.
"Carl, Paul somehow managed to get into the hospital after Abby's initial attack and well threatened to and attempted to kill her here as well as on the platform. I don't think she will see this as a safe haven even knowing that Paul is locked up. We all thought that he was in a secure facility before all of this happened and as you can see the results of that thinking."
"I can understand that, we could always transfer her to another hospital, a more private setting."
"If you think that is what is best."
"I would personally like to take over her care here. Give her a few days, make sure that she's placed where she knows that she has a safe environment try a few tricks and therapies and take it from there."
Carter was silent for a minute as he pondered what to do, what would be the best for Abby. The hospital was the best place for Abby right now, but he didn't know if this hospital was the best place for Abby once you put everything on the table. He glanced over at Susan.
"Carter you need to do what you think is best for her right now." Susan said, "I know that's not the advice that you wanted to hear from me right now, but I can't say what's going to work out to be the best situation, you know her better than I do."
Carter closed his eyes for a minute as he ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. This was a call that he didn't know if he wanted to be the one to make, if he should be the one to make it. "Should we consult Maggie?"
"You can if you want Carter." Susan answered him now, "do you think she would know what is best for Abby, and do you think that Abby would want Maggie making decisions for her?"
Carter thought about that one, not for long, "no I don't think she would want Maggie making the decisions for her, but Susan…" Carter had to take in a deep breath, "this isn't a decision that I want to make."
She put her hand on Carter's arm now, her voice soft as she tried to offer her friend the best support that she could give him right now. "I know, but Abby can't make decisions right now, I'm not in a position to make them for her, you are the only one she has right now so it's up to you. I know that it's not easy but I know that if I was in Abby's place I'd be glad that it was you looking out for me."
Carter reached over and patted her arm now, "a little to much smoke there Susan." While he appreciated her advice and input into the situation, he couldn't help but also give her a small smile for trying to help keep his spirits up.
He finally knew what he needed to do, after thinking it over, debating with himself over the pros and the cons of the decisions, knowing that there was nothing certain in any of this and there was no guarantee that Abby would get better no matter what they did he reached a decision. He knew that once he made it no matter what the consequences where he needed to stand firm and not have any regrets.
"You do what you think is best for her Carl." He looked at the psychiatrist now, "I trust your judgment and your expertise in this area. I know that you will do what you can for her."
"I will Carter. Feel free to stop by and see her, to talk to her, as much as you like." He said, "I know that she needs her friends and her family right now more than ever."
"Come on Carter, why don't you let me drive you home, you can get some sleep, take a shower, we'll get you something to eat and then I can drive you back if you want." Susan offered.
"I don't…"
"Carter right now I am not taking no as answer, I don't need you in there with her."
He just nodded as he let Susan take him by the arm and led him home. There wasn't much that he could do for Abby right now and he knew that he needed to take care of himself to be able to take care of her.
