Chapter 16: Don't ask me please.

Those first few days where the hardest of his life. Going up to the psych ward to visit Abby, seeing her in her own little world unable to be reached by those who cared about her. Yet every day he went up there, he sat with her, he talked to her and every day he left heartbroken. She never seemed to acknowledge that he was there, no blinking, no head nodding; it was as if there was no one in the room with him at times. Carter, however, was determined to not give up.

The days went by and the seasons started to change. Yet nothing changed with Abby. Old man winter had finally lost his grip on Chicago and you could tell that spring was not only in the air but had arrived. The flowers were starting to bloom and there was new life all around them. Carter couldn't help but wish that somehow some new life would be blown into Abby, like the change of the season, give her a change in how her life had become.

"Hey Abby how you doing?" The first question that he asked ever day as he moved into her room and sat down by where she was sitting.

Abby had her head leaning against the wall and didn't answer him.

"It was busy yesterday after I left here." Carter said looking at her with his sad eyes. They couldn't help but hold sadness in them. It hurt to see her like this. Again he got no response from her.

"Everyone downstairs misses you and can't wait for you to be able to come back to work." He looked down carrying on a conversation with yourself day after day was a hard thing to have to do, but he hoped that this would help in some way. Deep down inside in his heart he couldn't just give up and accept that this was the way that things were going to be.

"You know," he said reaching over and touching her hand. "The weather has really started to get nice outside. Maybe we can go outside one of these days. I know that you would love to feel that fresh air, the breeze blowing through your hair."

Again there was nothing from her. Nothing ever seemed to get a response out of her. He talked about work, how things were going, the weather, what he had been doing, what other people in the ER, her friends, her colleagues had been doing yet it was almost as if she just didn't care. That is was easier to tune out the whole world so that she could believe that none of this had happened.

"Susan wants to come up and see you." He said, "I told her that I thought it would be a great idea that you would probably like someone else's company for a little bit." He was running out of things to say again. He could sit there and talk to her but every day about this time, there wasn't much else to say. He had been there almost 2 hours and he would be leaving again.

"Okay," He said as he stood up, "time for me to get going." He leaned over and kissed her cheek as he did ever time. This was becoming more and more of a routine for him at this point than anything else. "I will see you tomorrow."

Dead silence came from Abby. He sighed softly as he headed for the door, there was always tomorrow and then the day after that she might snap out of this, but the longer this went on the worse the chances that she'd be herself again slowly diminished.

He was on his way out, crossing through the ER after stopping in the lounge to retrieve his things from his locker.

"Hey Carter." Susan said when she saw that he was getting ready to leave.

"Don't bother asking me." He replied back. Susan asked him the same question every time he visited Abby. He knew that she wasn't doing it to be reminding him of how things were, but that she genuinely cared about Abby and he was at times the only source of information for just about everyone down there. But you could only say the same so many times before it started to wear on you.

"I won't." She replied softly. Abby had been upstairs for a long time now and she knew that with each passing day it wore just a little bit more on him.

"I thought I'd see if you wanted to grab some dinner maybe a movie tonight." She answered back without hesitation. He had been so isolated and alone, not going out at all other than to work and home again.

Not that Susan could blame him. She didn't know what she would do if she found herself in the same situation that he was in right now. All she could do was be his friend and in the best of times right now that was a hard thing to do.

"How about tomorrow night?" He replied back to her. "I have a few things that I need to do tonight but I'm free tomorrow night."

Susan wanted to say that he was free every night now but he might have had some family obligation that he needed to take care of tonight so she bit her tongue, "yeah tomorrow night would be fine too."

Carter threw his bag over his shoulder. "Great," he said trying to be as upbeat and cheerful with her as he could possibly managed at the moment, "pick a place for dinner find a movie, my treat."

"How can I resist something like that?" Susan gave him a half smile now, "you're on, and I'm off at seven tomorrow how about you?"

"Yeah about the same time." He said, "unless something comes in and we get buried. Hazards of working in a county facility."

Susan did actually laugh softly when he said that, "yeah hazards." She paused for a moment. "Have a good night Carter."

"Yeah you too." He said as he slipped out of the ER and started the long walk home. He had taken to walking. Not because he was afraid to take the EL, it just gave him something other to do, killed a little more time than taking the train. It was nice outside so there was no reason not to walk today.

As he walked home, knowing the way that he needed to go almost by heart a trip that he could do on autopilot, for the first time in a long time he actually took in the things that were going on around him. He took notice of the other people around him. A woman with her children on an outing of some kind, two young lovers walking hand in hand down the side walk completely smitten with each other and for them they were the only two people in the world. An old man working his way home, his back bent from his years of hard labor, slow were his steps but Carter could tell that he was determined to get home. Perhaps his wife of several years was there waiting for him.

A child holding his arms out for his mother to pick him up from the ground. Children making themselves busy with various things, most of it child's play, the simple things in life was what he saw tonight on his walk home. Those were the things that he was missing the most right now, those simple things.

Someone waiting for you at home, to ask you how your day had been. Someone to be there when things got tough with a simple hug or a touch that could take the pain, sorrows, the worries of the day away. For him that had been Abby. They could work for hours together but yet at the end of the day she had always been there for him with those simple things. A hug, a kiss, or even just a quick touch to his arm or a pat on the leg. It was those things that could easily take away the stresses of the day. Make the world seem to fade away for just a few moments to where it was just the two of them together. It was her that he dreamed of growing old with, having children, perhaps someday grandchildren that he could bounce on his knee and tell stories to of days gone by. It was those things that had been ripped from their lives in just a few minutes; one hurtful act had unwoven their ribbon of time.

As he walked up the stairs, he took a moment to compose himself, to remind himself that today had been a good day. He had done all that he could and tomorrow he would get up and do the same thing all over again. He had to be thankful for the things that he had in his life and not dwell on the things that he didn't seem to have. For even though Abby was not there with him, she was not gone.