Chapter 17: Fading Seasons

The weeks passed Spring slowly faded now as the heated days of summer took a hold of the city of Chicago. There was no change with Abby, everything was the way it had been months ago and Carter was struggling to keep the faith that sometime this would all come to an end and that she would be able to leave the hospital.

Carter kept up the same routine. He would either go up and see Abby before his shift or right after he was done. It all just depended on if he was working day or night. But nothing kept him from going up there at least once a day. Carter's visits were a constant thing. He wanted her to know even if she didn't more so for himself, that he hadn't or wouldn't stop coming to see her.

He and Carl had, had a conversation about moving her to a long term facility one that could provide the round the clock care that someone in her state needed. It was a move that Carter didn't want to make. Not only would it mean that Abby wouldn't be close to him but that they had given up on her.

It was now the fourth of July and Carter had told Carl that he would give him his answer by the 15th of the month. That gave him a little under two weeks now to make that decision and it was one that he grappled with every day. The times that it was the worst was the times that he was sitting there with her. He had moved them tonight over so that they could watch the fireworks out the window.

"Aren't they beautiful?" Carter said not expecting an answer, he was getting used to the one sided conversations, yet this time when he looked over at her there was something different. The blank look that she usually wore, the expressionless face that had been looking at him actually for the first time held a hint that there was life inside her once again.

She didn't say anything to him, but Carter knew that he was getting through that he was finally getting through to her. Her eyes were now fixated on the bursts of light coming through the window as the fire works exploded in the sky.

"I think these are the best ones that they have had in years." He said to her again, just watching as he could see her eyes moving, as if she was actually watching them now rather than just sitting there. Just keep talking to her Carter; you might get an answer from her yet, some kind of response from her.

He sat next to her watching them, "the purple ones are my favorite of them all. I love the color." He said now to her.

Abby watched the fireworks, she could see the vibrant colors exploding as the world that she had been living in for so long was starting to fade away and she was starting to feel the real world around her. Her mind was still a fog, yet she could hear someone talking to her in the distance, the voice sounded muffled and unclear, she wasn't sure who it had belonged to just yet but it was the first voice that she had heard in a long time.

There was that same voice again and it just kept talking to her in muffled inaudible sounds. A word here and there she could almost make out but to her it was as if she was underwater hearing the voices of the people above. A dream like place, asleep but not asleep, alert enough now to hear but not enough to make out what was being said. She was so unsure if that voice was talking to her or if it was just a random person who happened to be within her earshot talking.

She was internally fighting a battle now, a battle between her conscious mind and her need to stay where she felt completely safe. Lonely and longing to feel something other than completely numb, to feel the love that she had felt so long ago. A part of her was ready to leave her safe haven and yet another part of her wanted to stay there, for nothing bad had happened in the time that she had been there. It felt like this was the perfect place but she felt like she didn't belong there anymore.

"Too bad they are always so short." Carter said now as he started to move them back into the room. There was some resistance from Abby now as if she didn't want to leave the window where they had been watching them from. "They are over Abby. It's time to move now back to bed."

Abby heard the voice much clearer now as the fog of the dream like state started to lift a little more and she could begin to feel emotions that she hadn't felt in so long. Abby reached out to touch the arm that was touching her and looked at John, actually looked at him, "no bed."

Carter about flew out of his skin when she touched him and then spoke. Those were the first words that he had heard in so long uttered from her that he almost didn't believe that she had said anything. "What?"

"I don't want to go to bed." She repeated now, more aware of her surroundings, the trance she had been in was losing it's hold on her and she was beginning to return to the real world once again.

Carter stood there now his mouth hanging open or so it felt, she was talking to him. That was Abby's voice he had heard and he was having a hard time containing himself from running from the room screaming she spoke, she spoke. "What do you want?"

"I'm hungry." She replied back. While there was no emotion in her voice and her facial expressions didn't change as they once would have she was beginning to get a feel for how things were supposed to be once again.

"You are?" He couldn't hold back the surprised tone of his voice, "we can get you something to eat."

Abby moved now on her own free will. She crossed the room and sat down in the chair. Carter just watched her now, he couldn't take his eyes off her, this was what he had been waiting for, for so long it almost didn't seem real, yet he knew inside his heart that it was. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to go and find you something."

"Okay." She replied back with a soft nod.

While their conversation might not have contained anything substantial, it was more than enough for him. He walked out the door and headed for the nurses station. "Where's Dr. Deraad?" Carter asked.

"Down in the ER doing a consult." The nurse replied back to him, "something wrong Dr. Carter."

"No nothing is wrong, could you page him for me tell him to get up here ASAP and Abby would like something to eat, you have anything up here?"

"Dinner was awhile ago Dr. Carter." The nurse said giving him a puzzled look now, "what do you mean she wants something to eat?"

"She said she was hungry," Carter couldn't hide the smile that was creeping across his face now.

"She did?" That caught the nurse off guard for the entire time she had been there taking care of Abby, the woman never uttered a single word.

"That she did."

"I'll page Dr. Deraad now." She said, "check the fridge in the lounge there might be something in there she can have."

Carter just smiled as he headed down the hallway in search of something for Abby to eat. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives. He knew that she would have a long way to go before she was fully recovered, if she did ever fully recover. To hear words from her was a start and something that he wanted to almost celebrate right now. He couldn't wait to tell Susan about what was happening. He knew she would be as happy as he had been but for right now he needed to get Abby something to eat and have a conversation with Carl. Abby would not be moving from County now, at least not to another hospital, when she left here it would be to go home.