A/N: Sorry for the long time in updating, I got swamped with a million things that I needed to do and wasn't able to work on this. I have to find a way to "prioritize" better, but here's the next chapter.
Chapter 7:
Erin rolled over later in the early hours of the morning to find another warm body in her bed. She brought her hands up to run through her hair as she woke up enough to remember what had gone on previously in the evening. She got up gingerly and carefully from the bed as to not to wake her sleeping companion. She now stood in front of her bathroom window, running her hands through her hair again before rubbing her eyes.
"Oh no," she said to her reflection that was glaring back at her. "What were you thinking?" She muttered to the woman that was staring back at her. She hadn't been thinking, she had let her guard down and her heart exposed to the bitter outside world. As far as she knew nothing had really changed other than the passing of time, ten years passing, which was in her world a extended period of time, not a long time in the history of things, but it was still the only thing that had really been different between them.
The elder Carter wasn't able to push his influence upon her anymore, and it seemed that he didn't have a great hold on the younger Carter generation, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't have any Carter's to contend with if she was to restart a relationship… no there was no way that she could be seriously considering starting up another relationship with John. They were from 2 different worlds and hadn't managed to be able to hold it together all that time ago she highly doubted, or didn't want to believe, but then that was the same thing wasn't it that they would be able to make it this time.
She just starred at the reflection looking back at her. While she couldn't deny what she had felt being that close to him again, she even had to admit to herself that those feelings where nothing more than a wishful heart, a heart that wanted to go back to a time long gone. The one thing Erin knew was that you couldn't recapture time no matter how hard you tried.
She just shook her head, what was she going to do now. She couldn't say to him that she had made a mistake letting him in like that. She didn't want to hurt him again like she had before. No one deserved that no matter what history lied between them good or bad. But she didn't want to carry on something just for the sex. No that wouldn't be right, no matter how lonely she might have been that was the worst reason she could think of to carry on a relationship was just for the aspect of knowing that it would mean that she would never be alone. And if she just shut him out again completely that would prevent her heart from hurting or being hurt anymore than it already had, but it would also shut out any chance that she might have of happiness if it existed.
Erin was cynical of love. After she had been forced away from the one thing that she thought was happiness for the greater good, or what she had been told was the greater good she didn't hold much faith in love. There was no reason to hold onto the hope that something as fleeting of a feeling as love was really could exist. Part of that might have been because she had never managed to grab a hold of it a second time around.
That was a lesson she had learned from her dad as well, after her mother, he never seemed to be able to grab a second chance at loving someone no matter how he had tried. No one in his eyes ever measured up to the love that he had for her mother, and when she died a part of her dad was put in that grave with her mother until a few years ago when he joined her there. They were finally together for the rest of eternity, hopefully after all this time they were finally able to be happy once again.
"Can't you sleep?" Carter asked standing in the doorway of the bathroom now.
"Ahh!" Erin tried not to scream but he had caught her deep in her own thoughts and she hadn't even heard him get up off the bed. She put her hand on her chest. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on a woman in deep in thought?"
"Sorry hope that they were good thoughts." He wrapped an arm around her waist as he softly kissed her shoulder. "Very good thoughts."
She didn't have to force a smile on her face, it almost appeared there on it's own free will. She didn't harbor any bad feelings for the man or at least none that were on the surface. She did however have to work to lie to him. That was something that at times she could do as natural as could be and the other times she had to put more effort into it to pull it off.
"Always good thoughts when you're around." She half told the truth half lied to him. More truth than lies. Her thoughts weren't good but they could have been a lot worse than what had been running through her head.
"Why don't you come back to bed and try and get some more sleep, it's still pretty early." He pulled on her a little in a feeble attempt to get her back into the bed. She looked pretty ragged and tired right now. Not the glowing woman that you would have expected to see, but he was a little on the worn side as well and wasn't going to argue with her, that was a battle that he had learned long ago that no matter how hard he tried once she had her mind made up about something she was definitely hard to change.
"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." She said.
He kissed her shoulder again as he felt her slowly start to move in the direction that they had both come from.
"Good you look like you need some more sleep. I'm sure you and I have a busy day tomorrow in the ER."
"Yeah that I am sure that we do." Erin slowly relented and started to give into him. She was tired and getting into a fight right now wasn't something that she relished the thought of doing.
He led her back to the bed pulling the covers back over her almost as if he was tucking her in to make sure that she wouldn't wander away again from him. He put an arm around her pulling her body uptight against his and Erin had to work overtime to try and relax against him so that he wouldn't think that she was upset or uptight. She let out a deep sigh as she closed her eyes and let her body give into sleep again, there was always tomorrow to work on things and get it back the way that it was going to go. They would either hate themselves in the morning, find a way to get around this, get it to work, or they would be very miserable.
