Chapter IX. Amethyst Boundless

I know not if curse or blessing

This love Heaven's granted me

It has conquered and enslaved

Yet has also set me free

Allowed me a glimpse of heaven

Given me samples of dark hell

Is there a lesson to be learned?

And have I learned it well?

I have tasted youthful passion

Known the sweetness of romance

Grasped the poignance of true love

Held its promise in my hands

Then discovered its real meaning

When I had to set him free

Follow in God's footsteps

Try to love unselfishly

Then did love reveal its flip side

The dark nature of the coin

My passion became my misery

Morbid fancies were then born

Sacrifice seemed romantic

But has only brought me grief:

I lost my faith, I lost my will

And all desire to live.

Am I expected to survive?

Am I supposed to fight?

And if I am, then tell me how

To turn darkness into light

For I cannot see

I cannot hear

My senses have gone numb

I cannot escape the hole

I'm in

No matter how

I jump

Love has crippled me, you see

It has weakened me

Given me strength only to cry

For all that was

And what might have been

As endless time drones by

And yet…

There IS virtue in suffering,

And this I have come to see;

With a spirit purified by pain

I accept this reality:

The lesson we were born to grasp

Is to learn of love divine –

Love that is free, unconditional

Without any ties that bind

The kind that says "I love you"

With no cause but "Just because"

The way God loves, with no – "What for?"

… I only wish

I could have held him more.