Beast Boy: Overseer does not own the Teen Titans, especially me! (whispering) what a loser…
Overseer: You son of a… HERE COMES THE PAIN! (beats Beast Boy over the head with a piece of raw meat)
BB: OW… ( rubs head. Hand comes away covered in bloody meat) I'm psychologically damaged for life…
Overseer: ROLL IT YOU FOOL!!!
BB: bastard.
Overseer: two words - LIQUIFIED… PIG.
BB: OKAY, OKAY!!!
'Transcending history,
and the world,
A tale of souls and swords,
eternally retold.'
(funky orchestral theme starts playing)
Overseer: …
BB: Whoops. Wrong reel.
----------------------------------------------Hero's Story
Prelude to Insanity; Chapter 1: Who Cares What It's Called?
What if the most powerful being in the universe was discovered living among us? What if he didn't want to be who he was? What if he just wanted to live his own life as a normal person? What if he was pressured to be something he wasn't? Well, I'm here to tell you the story of that person, but before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this one...
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Titans Tower, 4:04 AM
A sound rung through the cold, sterile corridors of the Titans tower. A sound hated, feared, and reviled by every one of its inhabitants...
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP.
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP.
BLEEP BLEE...click
"Robin here," said a voice, heavy laden with drowsiness and fatigue. "Huh? What? Who the hell tries to rob a bank at four in the morning?" A pause. "Yeah, well, tell it to the pigs, we gotta sleep SOMEtime..." The voice, now quite clearly Robin, jabbed sarcastically into the phone. Another short pause, and then Robin's sharp reply: "NO, I'm being PERFECTLY SERIOUS. Jeez, have a sense of humor... we'll be there as soon as we can."
Robin hung up the phone.
Cyborg, Starfire and Beast Boy stepped into the main living area, approaching the computer console where Robin stood.
"The Bleep!" Wailed Beast Boy. "Night, and still it haunts us!" Starfire gave Beast Boy an odd look and walked up to Robin.
"Who was that?"
"Some local reporting a bank robbery on the East side of the city," Robin replied.
"Who the hell robs a bank at four o' clock?" Cyborg said drowsily.
"That's what I asked him."
"Whatever. Let's go suit up."
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Jump City, Motel 6. 4:11 AM
A jet black Toyota Supra pulled up in the Motel parking lot, heavy metal blaring in the massive trunk stereo. The license plate was from California; it read: 'SOLFIRE'. The car's twin turbo engine roared loudly enough to wake the dead. In fact, the car's driver had often said it was louder and more powerful than an Orfalicon that has just sat on a Malgorr, whatever that meant. At the wheel was a tallish nineteen year-old boy with black hair worn in a style much like Robin's, but spiked up into two flaring, almost hornlike clusters of spikes sweeping past the back of his head. The hairstyle made him look nearly demonic. His hazel eyes, almost a goldish color, were only half-open. As soon as he parked, he slumped in his seat; he looked almost asleep.
"If I ever try to drive that far again, somebody hit me with something heavy," he said to the air, "ah well, might as well try to find something to eat..." The boy stepped out of the car. He was garbed in a loose fitting white T-shirt emblazoned with the words: 'GO FAST OR SUCK' in giant bold letters, black jeans, and skate shoes. A black denim jacket with the front open was around his shoulders. He looked around. Across the street there stood three signs: 'DJINN IN THE BOX- OPEN 24 HOURS', 'DICKIES', and 'JUMP FIRST NATIONAL BANK'.
"Schweet."
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Titans Tower, 4:09 AM
The fully suited Titans met back in the central room of the tower. At least, four of them did.
"Where is Raven?" Starfire inquired.
Robin looked about jadedly. "Someone go get her."
"She's meditating." Said Beast Boy
"OK", said Robin, "scratch getting Raven... unless one of you feels like getting blown up today."
"Nah, I'm good."
"Just got blown up yesterday."
"What exactly is meant by 'blown up'?"
"Alrighty then", said a still groggy Robin. "TITANS...! Uhh..."
"...go?"
"THAT'S what I meant to say."
The four tired Titans stepped in the elevator and began their slow, six- story descent down the giant T. Upon reaching the bottom, they all piled into the crowded T-car and sped off into the night.
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Djinn-In-The-Box, 4:12 AM
The black car's mysterious and tired driver stepped up to the entrance of the hamburger stand.
"Might as well find out what's going on in this town." He walked over to a nearby newspaper dispenser and inserted a quarter into the slot. He retrieved his 'Jump City Scout' and walked into the restaurant. Various pictures of a man with blood-red hair stared down at him from the walls, an eerie smile plastered on each one's face.
He stared one of the pictures in the face. It smiled even more broadly and flipped him off.
"WHOA. Maybe not sleeping for three days wasn't the best idea..." He shook his head violently and walked up to the counter. "Number six with a coffee." He said to the bored looking cashier.
"You want coffee with that?" Drawled the cashier, obviously very tired himself.
"No shit, Sherlock." The teenager in the jacket growled irritably. But he reprimanded himself mentally, Crap, they're probably gonna spit in it now, Ryan, you dumbass. "Well," he muttered to himself, "at least I got here." He strode over to a small table in the corner and opened his newspaper. Without even glancing at the front page, he went straight to the 'Cars' section. "Heh heh... some poor bastard selling his gold plated rims... oh, twelve inches... not good..."
"Number 47", the cashier called.
The teenager, now identified as Ryan, walked to the counter to retrieve his food. He picked up the tray and returned to his table. Opening the lid on his cup, he peered into the dark liquid. "Meh. Guess I was wrong." He downed half the cup in one swallow, and immediately began to feel slightly more awake. Ah, that helped, he thought to himself. He unwrapped his burger and prepared to take a bite, but paused momentarily. He opened the bun and looked inside.
"Bastard."
-------------------------------------------------
Jump City, West side; T-Car. 4:14 AM
"Your foot is on my foot!"
"Well your giant metal butt is on my hand!"
"Can both of you please just shut up?"
"NO!"
Yes, sleep deprivation does marvelous things, doesn't it folks? As you can see, the Titans were very different people when they were tired. And being in a cramped car speeding downtown to stop armed bank robbers at four in the morning didn't really help their mood. Of course, none of this bothered Starfire, as she was, well, asleep. Robin shook her gently.
"Wake up, we're almost there."
"How come she got to sleep?"
"Did I ever say you couldn't?"
"What about me?"
"You're driving, moron."
"Oh yeah."
---------------------------------------
Djinn-in-the-Box, 4:15 AM
Ryan pushed away his spitburger in disgust, and grabbed his paper, flipping it back to the front page. The front page headline read: 'SLADE SRTIKES AGAIN'.
"Nothing I'm too concerned about," said Ryan, looking quickly over the article. A particular line caught his eye: '...the Teen Titans made a valiant effort to capture the criminal, but Slade managed to work his magic and escape once again, without a trace.'
Ryan laughed slightly. "Teen Titans? What kinda name is Teen Titans? You can't go anywhere in this world without running into these super-types..." His eyes moved toward the picture, which was quite large, covering almost half the page. It depicted several teenagers standing on a pile of dismantled humanoid robots. There was a boy in tights, who appeared to be yelling at the head of a robot, another boy, who almost was a robot, a girl trying desperately to hide her face behind her hooded cloak, and a green kid. Ryan was uninterested by these bizarre people, hardly giving them a glance, but he was looking intently at the girl next to them, the one with red hair and green eyes, whose bewildered stare seemed very familiar to him.
No...it couldn't be... Course', not too many humans out there with orange skin... He looked back to the article and began to read fervently. ' The Titans, who include Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven and Starfire, (pictured at left)...'
Ryan's mind raced furiously. Starfire... Starfire... star-freakin'-fire... he thought to himself, What would that be...Fire, star... kori...fire, and'r, star...
"Holy shit."
--------------------------------------
Jump City First National Bank, inside. 4:15 AM
Edward James wasn't a novice bank robber. At least, he wasn't in the sense that he had done this sort of thing before. Unfortunately for Edward, he wasn't very good at it; every last one of his past four robberies had gone bad. But nothing, nothing could stop him this time around, not even those wretched Titans. This time would be different. This time it was all planned out. This time he wasn't alone. This time he hadn't tripped the alarm. This time he had seven armed men at his back, and a 'hostage'. Yes, it was all just perfect. Jump City's police force had grown fat and lazy since the arrival of the Titans. No one ever called the police anymore; it was always those blasted Titans. But tonight... the Titans would be no more, and Edward James could disappear forever. Maybe to Hawaii, or Paris... someplace nice...
The leader of Edward's mercenaries, a lanky man with facial features that would remind a person of some sort of rodent awakened Edward from his daydream. The mercenary captain clutched an MP5-K submachinegun in his gloved hand.
"Sir, we have the cash in the van. Why don't we leave?"
"Because," Edward explained, "I have to be rid of them."
"Who?"
"THEM," said Edward with a maniacal smile. "THEM."
The mercenary leader decided it was best to humor his employer; he was just here to get paid. "Ah," he said with a sudden air of clarity, "THEM..."
"Tell your men to load up their guns, and keep at least one man at the door at all times. They'll arrive soon, and I must go prepare." Edward commanded the captain.
"Yes, sir," the mercenary assented, though he was still completely clueless as to exactly who "they" were.
"Oh, and captain."
"Yes, sir?"
"Attempt capture before attack. Shoot to maim, not kill; I must be the one to finish them."
"Yes, sir."
--------------------------------------
Jump City First National Bank, outside. 4:15 AM
The T-car pulled up silently beside the bank, and the four Titans got out.
"Cyborg," said Robin, "what do we have?"
Cyborg adjusted his bionic eye to heat scan and peered at the wall: or, rather, through it. His vision became a sea of dark blue and green, with several brightly colored splotches.
"Looks like we got seven, mebbe eight bodies. I'm guessing the one that's seated is a hostage; the others are all armed. Looks like submachineguns, no rifles, but I might be wrong."
"Armor?"
"Nope."
"Sidearms?"
"None that I can spot. But it's always possible."
"Explosives?"
"Doubtful."
Robin instantly assumed his role as leader. "All right, this shouldn't be too hard, but if we charge in, we'll get slaughtered. Cyborg and me can both take a bullet and walk away from it, so we'll go in first, save the hostage, and disarm as many as we can, then Starfire and Beast Boy will move in, and with a little luck we'll have them."
"Y'know your body armor will only protect you for so long, Robin, and if they're using AP rounds you'll be dead in a second. " Cyborg added.
"I know, that's why we've got to catch them off guard and disarm as quickly as possi..."
"I can disarm them much faster than you can, Cyborg," Starfire interrupted.
"But you've got no armor," he protested.
Starfire paid no attention. "Robin, how many Birdarangs can you throw at once, accurately?"
"Three, why?"
"All right, if we slip in unnoticed and get on opposite sides, we can catch them in a surprise double pincer movement: you attack first, and disarm three at once, including the ones holding the hostage. Then, as you draw fire from the remaining three, I will slip in from behind them and disarm them with Starbolts. Then Beast Boy and Cyborg will run in and we can finish them."
The other three stared at her.
"Where'd you learn that?" Beast Boy asked.
"What?"
"That!" They all said simultaneously.
"What, you think princess lessons are just picking flowers and looking pretty?"
-----------------------------------
Djinn-in-the-Box, 4:17 AM
"No freakin' way!" Ryan shouted at his newspaper. "That's not even possible!" He ran up to the counter and tossed the paper down in front of the cashier. "Tell me where I can find the Teen Titans!" he nearly shouted at the attendant.
"Why the hell should I tell you?" The cashier said spitefully, still quite miffed at Ryan's previous remark.
"Because if you don't, I'll shove that spitburger you made me straight up your nose and into your brain."
"Ah," said the cashier, "that's why."
"Congrats! You got it! Give the man a freaking million bucks! Now tell me where I..."
BambamBRATTATAbambambam BRATATATATATATAT Bambambam BRATA-TA-TATA-TAT-TAT!!!!!
"Hold that thought."
---------------------------------
And so concludes the first chapter in my epic tale... Okay, so it's not so epic. But hey, it's my first one, cut me a break, okay? Anyway, I'll bet some of you know who Ryan is! And I know I changed a lot of stuff about him from the comic, so don't rag on me about it. I mean, the dude looked like #$&ing He-Man! I'm gonna change a lot more stuff too, so just leave it alone. Please.
If you got the Djinn-in-the-Box thing, good for you! If not, well that's okay too... it was just something stupid I thought up at the last minute. Just paying homage to an inspiration (I'm such a fanboy).
Please review, criticism and/or suggestions are appreciated, flames will be farted upon.
Thank you.
