Lost

Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up

Jamie found himself glancing at the teachers table.

Hermione, Monday, Lupin.

He turned away swallowing the disappointment and resentment that had rose up into his mouth. Why did he even bother hoping anyway?

He slumped down, his spoon swirling in porridge, thick as tar and as inedible. Sighing he flicked some of the lumpy substance at Elijah Tierman. The willowy youth spluttered and howled in rage, now resembling something for a bad horror movie. Snickering in satisfaction, Jamie crouched down lower, aware of the other boy's burning gaze on him.

He never liked him anyway. Ever since he could remember, Elijah had tormented him. Somehow the boy had managed to get under his skin and yet never seemed fazed by anything Jamie retaliated with, even looking like the monster from the deep he managed to give him a final superior-than-thou sneer before disappearing. But the fact that he really did look awful managed to make up for his arrogance somewhat.

Jamie was still smiling as the Daily Prophet landed in front of him. His fingers hesitantly picked up the thin paper. The newspaper was just a list of names, it had been for quite some time. Every morning the whole wizarding world poured over the paper searching to see if they knew any among the masses. The newspaper had turned into a list of the dead. Some days Jamie recognised names, some days he didn't. He folded the paper, pushing it away from himself, sometimes it was better to pretend the war wasn't happening.

Tristan slid sombrely onto the bench opposite him.

"Potions" he mumbled unhappily, trying to break into consciousness. A morning person he was not. Jamie greeted him with a smile, the red headed youth tried to return it, but it ended up a grimace.

"Have you seen Lilith?"

As soon as he had said it, he wished he hadn't asked. While his oldest friend was usual quiet and rarely vocal about his emotions, he couldn't hide his obvious dislike of the pale girl whom Jamie had grown close to. It was a contempt that had been breed into him, Weasleys and Malfoys, just didn't mix, and Jamie knew he wasn't going to be the one to change it.

Anyway it wasn't as Lilith was the victim, she absolutely abhorred Tristan. Their was no chance they were ever going to be friends, or even have a civil conversation for that matter. They seemed to delight in arguing with each other, and Jamie always found himself in the middle of their verbal spars, unfortunately for Tristan, Lilith was better at it than him. She had to have the last comment, always having some smart-arsed, mean remark on the tip of her tongue.

Tristan's sapphire coloured eyes darkened, "No" he snapped, letting twin curtains of red hair fall around him. Hiding himself from Jamie, ending the conversation. Jamie shifted uncomfortably. Tristan was his best friend, had been since they were four. It was a companionship born out of a weekend at the burrow and an incident involving a dragon, a trumpet and highly flammable, exploding rockets.

Tristan had always been there and he felt more comfortable and at ease with him than he ever could with Lilith. Tristan treated him as a friend while Lilith treated him -most of the time with barely controlled acceptance. But he refused to give her up, she was refreshing. He couldn't let it go. Not even for Tristan.

"My head hurts"

Speak of the devil.

An unusually dishevelled Lilith appeared next to him, her hand snaking around to snag his just buttered toast.

Jamie raised an eyebrow as the bread disappeared, watching in bemusement as she bit into it wincing at ever bite.

"Morning sunshine" he beamed, snatching his breakfast back from her.

"Stop…." she moaned, her face falling in to her arms. "My poor, poor head" she whined, the sound muffled by the table.

"I told you not to drink so much last night" he told her, remember the party which had erupted in the common room around 9ish, after …well no one was exactly sure what it had been about.

"I didn't know Quinn had spiked the drinks!" she said indignantly, peering at him with narrowed eyes through a mass of wild, white-blonde hair.

"You bribed him into doing it"

Lilith turned away, waving a hand dismissively at him, "Oh shut up. I'm in pain and all you can do is complain" she groaned again, "I want to die"

Jamie snorted in amusement "Don't say that" he mocked happily, keeping his face serious somehow as she glared at him, "remember Lil' drink is never the answer"

The girl sat up, murder glittering dangerously in her eyes, "I dislike you, you're a cruel person, whom I will one day kill" she frowned "painfully"

Jamie laughed shortly, "Go back to sleep, princess" he said patronizingly, pushing her face gently back into her arms.

"Just you wait" she muttered darkly, the rest of the rant undistinguishable apart from the words spleen and chainsaw. She really was very imaginative.

Tristan ignored them, his lips having become one thin line. He pushed his vivid hair behind his ear slowly. "Are you coming to see Hagrid tonight?" he asked.

"No" interrupted Lilith, snapping upright sharply, her face curling unpleasantly, "We've got plans. He's not going out."

Tristan stared down at her with barely contained hate, "We always go to see Hagrid on Mondays" he said, turning to Jamie. The dark haired youth looked troubled as he watched them. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lilith beat him to it. Laughing nastily at Tristan.

"Stop sounding so old and married" she taunted.

"Jamie?" they turned to the boy, who seemed to wilt under the pressure their of their gazes.

"You can come with us" he said tensely, "Or maybe…"

"No" Tristan interrupted calmly, his face smoothing into blankness, he stood up slowly. "I'm going to go to Potions, don't want to be late"

The stiffness in his movement betrayed his feelings. Jamie watched him pained, "Tristan" he called, but the red headed boy ignored him. Angrily he threw himself back onto the bench, Lilith didn't even bother to hide her smug look.

"I really hate you sometimes, why do you have to be like that?" he demanded, the girl had known he wouldn't say anything put on the spot like that. She knew people's weaknesses and used them against them without guilt.

She shrugged indifferently, "I am what I am." she looked at him slyly, "and you are what you are."

He frowned, unsure of what she meant. "Tristan's my best friend…"

She interrupted savagely, "He's a prat! Stay with him and you'll end up gay, alone and housing 23 cats"

Jamie sighed, "Don't"

Her eyes hardened, "Fine! Go to Hagrid's!" She rose suddenly, "Go and be Potter and Wealsey-the next generation. Part of the Queer and Here Ditty"

She shoved him hard as she left, joined almost at once by Quinn Merrick, he towered above Lilith, a dark eyed shadow, she pushed him away violently, still seething in anger. With a final venom filled glance at Jamie he ran back towards her. This time she didn't send him away.

Jamie let his face fall into his hands, at this rate, he wasn't going to have any friends.


Potions.

Jamie barely made it in time, his hands still grappling to stuff the daily Prophet into his bag as he ran along the corridor. Beauxbatons had been attacked by death eater. No one knew who was dead or alive, but it didn't look hopeful. They said it was just a pile of rubble now. He had heard Lupin and Hermione talking about refugees coming to Britain, it seemed that Voldermort's hold on France was nearly without question now.

He pushed into the classroom, hesitating in the doorway. His usual position near the back of the classroom had been taken by Jasmine and Astarte, weren't they Lilith's roommates? He wondered if she'd told them to sit there. He wouldn't put it past her, she herself was sat between Quinn and Elijah. Giving him a contemptuous look as he walked uncertainly into the room, before going back to the youths who waited for her attention. They were like dogs, he though nastily, waiting for any scrap of attention she would throw their way.. He flopped onto an empty desk near the front angrily, Tristan pointedly ignored him from across the room when he glanced at the red headed boy. Why couldn't they just get along?

"Ok, everyone who bothered to turn up, sit down!"

Imogen Monday voice bellowed from the corridor long before she slowly limped into classroom. The sixth years scrambled into the seats. The Potions mistress liked to think it was their eagerness for potions which gave them haste.

She preferred to think it was because they were scared of her.

Imogen Monday had been the potions mistress for over 10 years. Jamie didn't know exactly what had happened, but she'd been close to Harry a long time ago, intimately so. He vaguely remembered what she had been like before. All smiles and dry humour, she used to give him piggy-back rides. She was different now, her home had been destroyed by death eaters, it was gone now, just like her left leg. Harry had given her a job in Hogwarts, it had caused a big scandal for some reason. She had easily slipped into becoming a teacher, but her relationship with Harry hadn't worked out, they had just argued all the time. As far as he knew neither of them had had any relationship with anyone else since.

Flicking her wand at the windows lazily, blinds snapped down with a thundering crack to cover the light that streamed into the dungeons. She tucked the thin piece of wood back into the many folds of her dark robes, glaring at the students. They sat straighter in their seats under her hot gaze.

"Homework!" she ordered, leaning against her desk, her nose twitched as the door slammed shut, sending them into near darkness.

Jamie frowned in panic as he remembered, "I've forgot it, Professor" he said sheepishly, the look she gave him told him that she didn't believe him in the slightest. Not that he was being truthful, he'd been outside on the Quidditch pitch instead of doing work.

"Another day onto your detention" she told him, waving the class into silence.

A snort of disgust echoed through the dark room. Monday didn't even bother looking, she shuffled the papers on her desk almost violently into a neat pile, her back still turned as she spoke.

"If you have something to say Miss Malfoy, I suggest you say it, rather than making farmyard noises" She spun around, as fast as she could manage with her one natural leg. "Right, who can tell me what a Hoag potion is?"

Lilith felt her face blanch of colour suddenly, she kept her face down trying to concentrate on the small act of vandalism she was engraving into the wooden desk. Monday hobbled along the rows, snatching a picture out of Jasmine's hands not missing a beat in her endless rant about the properties of the new potion; which left every single face in the room blank. What was Hogwarts doing teaching the Hoag potion? She tucked a piece of silver hair behind her ear thoughtfully. She didn't care, it wasn't like any of them would ever use it. They were far to good for that.

Quinn poked her suddenly, she glared at him. He smiled openly at her stormy face.

"Tonight, Do you want to…"

She shook her head, cutting him off sharply, "Spend time with you? Not unless I have to"

He frowned, his dark eyes hurt. She sighed wearily, why were all these boys so sensitive?

"I can't I have things to do"

He shrugged indifferently, bending back over sheet of parchment.

"Aren't you writing anything?" Monday was at her shoulder, her mouth close to Lilith's ear.

Lilith scowled, the potions mistress didn't intimated her in the least. So what if she one leg and a voice that could shatter glass. She had seen worse.

"no need" she answered instead. "I already know it"

Monday stared at her for a moment, her expression not saying anything about what she thinking. "I bet you do" she muttered, stalking off down the rows of desks.

Lilith watched her, eyes narrowed in thought. She could read most people easily. Her father had taught her that.

See their weaknesses and use them.

She could tell what people wanted to hear, even if she usually ending up saying the exact opposite. But that was because she had a mean little voice in her head who laughed manically at people's expressions of hurt. But Professor Monday was a mystery to her. The woman gave her detention every other week but had let her in her office and just talked to her right at the beginning when no one else would go near her when she'd first found herself in Hogwarts.

Lilith frowned, it didn't matter anyway.

Jamie's green eyes were staring at her, searing into her soul. She ignored him, bending over the desk again, finishing the graffiti on the desk.

A flourished word. Engraved into the wood and coloured in brilliantly crimson ink.

Lost.

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Sorry it took me so long. I've got a constant migrain and haven't been able to do anything for days.

Right I'm going back to school on wednesday, so for anyone who is atucally reading this don't expect regular updates. I'm going back into year 10, i feel old.

Ok, who can tell me who the lyrics at the top are from?