Title: I'll Be There - Let Me Be Free

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n.: Okay, people... Gomen...Gomen...Gomenasai, minna-san! I honestly feel guilty for not updating soon but I was caught up with some of my college assignments and lately, I've got to finish up my final year project. So, after updating this fic and the conclusion...yes, conclusion for this fic in the following chapter, I will have to halt all writings until late June, - that's when my assignments and projects are due and I've finished my exams. So, please wait for me, okay? And once again...I'm really, really, really, really sorry for the delay. Gomenasai. Anyway, on with the story...


How many times had he traveled down this dreadfully familiar institutional white hallway? Countless. Here on investigation basis to interrogate, here on visitation... Ryo had long lost count on those times. But recollecting on past events, not once had he patronized the hospital over a happy occasion. It was either business or personal. But only personal affairs could make his heart wrenched in both anxiety and apprehension, if not more. The flaxen detective was physically shivering and trembling legs painstakingly supported his entire weight. In his mind crossed the worst thing that could possibly happen to his lover, bracing himself of might be worst of the lot. But nothing could prepare him for the sight before his eyes.

Ted was painted with crimson red all over his body as though he just had a blood bath; J.J bore weariness in his eyes and dried trails of tears that streaked across his face not long ago; Drake had to lean against the wall to support his slumping body. All of them looked as though they had gone through a rancorous war and came back half-dead like mindless mummies, - except for maybe there weren't any bandages binding them. But as he approached those languid men, their reluctance to look at him in the eye made Ryo's chest constrict so tight that breathing was becoming a problem.

"Ted...?" he called out with tremor in his voice but Ted only turned his head further away from Ryo.

"Drake..." desperateness lingered in his voice. Ryo held his breath for a moment as Drake slowly turned his head in his direction, but all the chestnut blond detective could see was emptiness in the man's eyes.

Ryo clenched his eyes shut as he silently prayed, 'God, don't let anything happen to him...'

As he dragged his feet towards J.J. who sat at the far end of the bench, Ryo was losing his composure when he saw J.J.'s face. Although his face was devoid of emotions, his eyes reflected otherwise. It was as though they were begging for the restrained tears to be released but earlier on he cried so much that his eyes could no longer produce tears for him to cry.

And seeing the morbidity cast upon his fellow colleagues, Ryo could only deny the pain in his chest that derived from the breaking of his heart.

'God...please don't do this to me...' he silently prayed as he ditched the men to wallow in despair. His sane mind refused to acknowledge the implicit meaning of the absence of his dark-haired lover. He will not concede to anything until he sees Dee for himself.

But each step he took, no matter how fast his legs brought him, the distance that stood in his way from reaching to Dee only grew further apart. It felt as though he had walked a whole mile and yet, he was no where near Dee's operation room. Even from afar, the light above the twin-fold doors were still visibly glowing, - indicating that the surgery was still on; that Dee was still in there fighting for his life.

'Tap...tap...' rhythmic pace of running resonated against the stillness within the hallway of the institutional white building. From the distance of one step to another, it wasn't difficult to judge the speed he was going at. The faster his legs carried him, the more impatient he grew.

From mere whispers...

"Dee..."

Louder they grew...

"Dee!..."

Till he was at his limits, Ryo finally shouted his lover's name

"DEE!"

in vain hope to close the distance between them...

Gasping for quick, short breaths, Ryo began to decelerate till he came as close as to an arm's length from the door. But as he reached to graze his fingers against the white lacquered-door, he could only retract his fingers to ball a fist powered by the overwhelming frustration and anger.

He was so close, yet so far...


167 hours, 49 minutes, and 27 seconds has past. Only 10 minutes and 33 seconds left before the day would be over, marking the seventh day Dee has been in the state of comatose, a whole week after the incident. But still, no signs of the raven-haired detective waking any time soon. Day in, day out, Ryo would walk, if not drag his jaded body into the ICU where his lover laid motionlessly. For three days consecutively, he had been working his ass off the first two shifts, and would have gone through with the third, if Drake and Ted hadn't practically pry the man off his desk.

Nevertheless, the moment he stepped into Dee's private ward, the flaxen detective would put up his brightest smile so that if his dark-haired lover was awaken from his long slumber, the first thing he would see would be his smile warmly welcoming him back to the land of the living. That was the least he could do for the man.

And today wasn't going to be any different.

Pulling up a chair, Ryo sat down by the bedside as he reached out to caress his fingers against the back of his lover's palm.

"Hey, there..." the half-Japanese detective greeted with fake enthusiasm, - hints of melancholy lingered in his voice.

In his head, there were playbacks of Dee greeting him in return, flashing his trademark grin. And every time he would reach out his hands to embrace the man only to hold onto nothingness. When delusion fades and reality returns, all he could see in those pitch black eyes was a man, a sleeping man whose face was as pale as a copier paper, complemented with the white bedspreads that engulfed his body.

They said that words spoken to the person in coma could be heard. But if so, why didn't Dee wake up to Ryo's pleas? Why does the world around them mute at times when sounds were desperately needed?

Silent replies were both comforting as well as unnerving. The annoying beeping sound of the heart monitor wasn't any better. The dragging silence subsequent to a staccato beep reminded Ryo of the endless hours Dee remained asleep. It felt like a century has passed but only a minute was gone; it felt like forever has gone by but only an hour of a day bade them goodbye. At the same time, the strings of beeps were the only thing in this world that reassured the flaxen detective that his lover was still alive and breathing.

Tears brimmed on the verge of the flaxen man's eyes, threatening to spill at the slightest pressure of emotions.

'You promised, Dee... You promised me that you would take care of yourself... You promised! Damnit! Why did you have to be so reckless! You should have stayed at home... I should have made you stay at home. It's my fault... If I had been more insistent, unrelenting... probably you wouldn't be right here, right now. What an idiot, I've been!'

"Dee..." he whispered inaudibly as a single tear managed to slip past the confinement and splattered onto Dee's hand, "...I'm sorry..."

"Whatever for...?" replied a voice, soft but raspy. Startled by the unexpected reply, it took Ryo a split second to realize whose voice it belonged to.

"Dee! Oh, my God! You're awake!" Ryo cried ecstatically with joy as he threw himself onto Dee's body, not really caring if he was crushing the man under his weight. The sense of relieve was simply overwhelming.

"Oh, my God, Dee..." he said, breathlessly, "You have no idea how long I've prayed to God for this to happen... You have no idea how afraid I was when I realized that I nearly lose you... I prayed so hard for God not to take you from me..."

"...And your prayers were answered..." Dee interrupted with the oxygen mask still strapped to his face. In vain effort, his feeble hand tried to pull away the mask. Upon catching sight of his lover's attempt, Ryo promptly assisted the man by casting the mask to rest against his lover's collarbone.

"I think... God felt that it wasn't my time yet... that it was too soon for me to join him up there. But ... someday...someday I will join the Lord and His saints up there..." the midnight-haired detective whispered softly, but Ryo heard him, nonetheless.

"Dee!" Ryo reprimanded in exclamation, "Don't you dare say such nonsense! Do you hear me!" Partially distraught by the volume of gravity held in his voice, partially shocked by the words said. It was almost as though Dee woke up a different man.

Chuckling under such arduous circumstances, Dee inhaled deeply before exhaling the air out of his lung through his dry throat. He winced a little at the searing pain of air rushing through his burning lungs. But he managed to mask his pain well under a smiling façade.

"Just for the record, ... how long have I been asleep?" he asked, changing the subject to something more lighthearted.


Hoping her eyes were playing tricks with her mind, hoping that it was merely a figment of her imaginations but the words on the report did not go away.

"How could I have missed it?" Emmelina cursed under her breath as she stormed out of her office, down the hallway and into Dee's ward.

"Mr. Laytner..." she greeted breathlessly, upon barging into the man's room.

Seated with his back leaning against the headboard, the dark-haired detective smiled amiably as he greeted the doctor, "Yo, doc."

"Mr. Laytner...we need to talk," she began as she strode over to the man's bed.

Dee did not question her, nor did he make any implications of curiosity towards the matter to be spoken. His façade remained as it was when she entered the room, - which was unnervingly calm.

"Your report just came out..." a short hesitation followed, "... you have contracted a stomach cancer..."

Waiting for some sort of denial or exclamation or a reaction of any kind, Emmelina braced herself to witness another man breakdown. All her life as a doctor, she has seen tons of man, brawny or scrawny, - breaking down into endless sobs when they were told that they were dying. But the much anticipated response did not come.

"Mr. Laytner...?" Emmelina approached cautiously, wondering if the man was too overwhelmed by shock to show any kind of emotions. But instead, she got the same calm expression.

"I know..." he replied.

"No, I don't think you get what I mean, Mr. Laytner. You have a chronic case of stomach cancer!" she emphasized strongly, hoping that the man would realize that he has got only weeks to live.

"I know..." he replied the exact words again, as though he was programmed to say them.

Annoyed by the man's indifference towards the gravity of the matter, "Mr. Laytner, if you think that you still have years to live, I can assure you that you don't. Forgive me for being so blunt but you have only months to live, - three months to be exact."

"Three months? That was longer than expected..." Dee finally responded, but the emotions were all wrong.

"Mr. Laytner! Do you even understand your situation here!"

A rather sad smile graced the man's lips as he took out a white handkerchief, - a white handkerchief that was painted bright red and grounded-coffee color of blood.

"Jesus!" Emmelina exclaimed as she drew out her stethoscope from the pocket. Dee hissed softly against the coldness of the piece of metal against his chest.

"Why didn't you call for a nurse!" reprimanded the good doctor.

Shrugging carelessly, Dee replied, "Didn't feel that there was a need for their presence."

Appalled by the man's reply, "What do you mean by that! Have you no concern for your own health?"

"I don't think that it has anything to do with concern. I just don't feel like bothering anyone. I don't want to be a burden, doc."

"Mr. Laytner, you are sick. You need help."

"I'm not sick, doc. I'm dying. And the last thing I need is to burden the people around me. I don't need to be treated like some sick puppy. I just want to live the remaining days of my life as how I have lived in the past. We will accept this as though nothing has happened."

"Accept this as though nothing has happened!" she exclaimed and widened her eyes at the man as though he has told her that he had seen Christ.

"I thought that you were just sick in the stomach. But now I think you're sick in the head as well. Do you have any idea what are you talking about? Are you even sane enough to understand yourself?" she added with a slight hysteric notch in her voice.

"I may be dying, but I'm no looney, doc," Dee retorted sarcastically.

"I have my suspicions, Mr. Laytner. For all you know, I might send you in for a MRI scan."

Dee let out a hearty chuckle. "You're sense of humor is admirable, doc."

Sighing in defeat, Emmelina has given up on talking any sense into the man, "Do you want us to inform your family or close relations?"

Pondering on the question for a moment while letting his eyes wonder past the doctor and out the window, "I'm an orphan. Ain't got no mom, ain't got no dad. Got abandon when I was still a month's old."

A simple, "Oh..." was all the good doctor could do to respond to his statement. Plainly because he didn't look like the man who deprived of parent's love.

A sudden fits of cough seized the dark-haired man as the man hunched his shoulders forward with the same piece of handkerchief over his mouth.

At one point when the cough reached to the point of gagging, crimson liquid escaped his mouth and onto the piece of cloth but a few drops managed to seep past and fell onto the white bedspreads. If it weren't for such a morbid reason, it would have been such a beautiful sight; - like roses in a bed of snow.

"Mr. Laytner! I'll have you admitted into the ICU unit, stat." But before she could even leave the room, the midnight-haired detective caught her on the wrist.

"Doc, I know you mean well. But..." a short fit intervened, "...I don't want to waste my time in here. If you really want to help me, help me by signing my release form," Dee said pleadingly with desperation in his voice.

"But..."

"No buts, doc. Keeping me caged in here wouldn't change the fact that I'm dying. I'm a free spirit. I cannot be bound. So, if you really want to make the remaining days of my life the best days of my life, then ... let me be free..."


a.n. 2: Okay, accreditations to all the 30 reviewers who reviewed I'll Be There

Starting from latest:

westkitsune-san: okay... I believe this is also a cliffhanger...hehe... - grinning evilly -Sorry, it's the only thing I can take advantage of, - being the author. It's my job to keep you reading!

darkangel-san: I'm really thankful for the support because not many of the reviewers are fond of Dee dying...I wonder why...?

Shirubaa Kitsune-san:...okay...there's definitely a lot of kitsunes in FF...urm... you know, I should also state above that the reason why I was late in delivering this chapter is because Shirubaa-san's wolfs ate me for dinner...Just kidding! Thanks for the support. But really, don't hate me, please. At least I didn't make Dee die in the car accident, right? being hopeful

Crysania Fay-san: I have to apologize for the delay. But like I've stated above, I had a lot going on in college that I have to prioritize over writing. I'm really sorry for the delay.

QueenCria-sama: Now that Dee has woke up, is there anymore request?

sakura blossoms4-san: Updated! But I'm really sorry for the delay.

NightShadow131-san: Your review kinda sounds like how I review others' works...hmm... they say great minds think alike... Anyway, Dee is not dead, - yet. And all those shoulds... well, if we had known the future, we would do anything in our powers to prevent catastrophes from happening, but life isn't like that. It's because we don't know the future that is why we have to treasure the things and people around us before it's too late.

inuficcrzy-san: I know...

darkess-san: Thank you for liking my fic.

Tsuki Shizuka Yuuki-san: Thanks for your compliment, but really after reading this chapter, do still really think that it's a super-great story (wow, that's kinda lot of emphasis there)? creasing my brows ...okay, so I won't kill him in the car accident. But even if Dee has to die in the end of my story, will you still read my fic?

tori789-san: Sorry to leave you hanging there for so long. But things happened, so it can't be help. I will try to end this within this week. Or not, it will be until late June before the next chapter. I'll try to get it done. But to be frank, I've taken ill as of late and I can't really think straight. Medications are infiltrating my mind...

amber-smith992-san: okay, if you're lucky, I'll end this fic this weekend itself. But serious, don't expect too much. Read the feedback above; you'll probably understand.

Michelle-san: I know everyone is waiting. But here's something for all of you, check my comment at the bottom of this page. I don't only write fanfics. I write originals as well. But the original is also not done. I've not touch and will not be touching the story until late of June. So, please be patient.

Sharon-san: Um...sorry? I think that is what I can offer as I am a person who is aiming to write a tear-jerker. So, thank you and sorry that it has to be this way.

Anna-san: Well, Dee woke up as promised. But as for Dee dying... I think by now you've got a clear picture of the story flow.

Vivian-san: Thank you Vivian-san for your ideas. I have contemplated that at the beginning, but there are a lot of these stories archived in FF. I'm aiming for something slightly different. Anyway, thanks for your thought.

Shiro no yuki-san: Thank you for your support! You are sure one understanding reader! But I must apologize for the late update. Sorry.

Naruto-senpai-san: I'm really sorry that it offended you when I referred Ryo as 'love'. But as much as I like Dee, I don't know much about that man. And if this chapter he goes out of character again, you've got to forgive me for my lack of knowledge...

Mystic-angel5-san/Jaimy-san: Thanks for the support. And I'm really sorry for the late update.

Clari chan-san: Well, looks like you get what you want! Anyway, I hope you like them. And sorry if the chapter is a bit short. I haven't got the time to write lately...

Firgodes7-san: Maybe you would like to take a look at my other works. Scan all the way to the bottom of the page. There you'll find directions to my original.

Oni-san: I've only got one thing to say, - gomenasai.

Devil666sc: I've really got no idea what got everyone into reading this fic, but I'm really glad it did. I know I'm a little late on updates and all I can give in return is my sincerest apology. I didn't paralyze the man, but I did make him sick, so is that taken into account?

Kitty in the Box-san: You've not only reviewed for I'll Be There, you've also reviewed for Feign. A huge thanks for your support. Thanx! But you'll probably have to bribe me with something other than a trip because I must apologize, I have no idea what is a shabu-shabu restaurant...

Firechibi-san: Thank you for your support! I will keep up after I've finished with all my stuffs in college.

DON'T STOP: Caitlin-chan, I know it's you so, I'll stop using the nickname. Finally, I've updated. Oh, by the way, did you receive my mail? Write to me when you have the time, okay?

Muyoluv20-san: Why is everyone so aggressive? Anyway, I've continued now and I'll probably end it soon.

Phoenix-san: Detailed? You've gotta be kidding! This is the most un-detailed story I've written! But I don't know why everyone likes it. But that doesn't mean I'm not glad everyone did. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.

Katastrophic88-san: Again...Is the story that detailed? Maybe I'm the only who feels that it isn't but as long as you like it, I'll keep it that way.

XZanayu-san: Thank you again for reviewing not only for I'll Be There but for Feign as well. And probably there are people like you, who makes us...or probably just me, - to write more and even better than before. Thank you.


Okay, that was a lot of reviews to reply, but I'm really grateful for your thoughts and feedbacks. Thank you once again. And for those whom I've mentioned about an original, - yes, I do write originals. In fact, I started off as an original writer but most of my earlier works were not published/posted. But I've finally got one posted on - Out of Time. Warning! It is rated as NC-17 hence there are explicit scenes there. No obligations if you cannot handle it.

My personalized URL:

http(colon)(slash)(slash)www(dot)fictionpress(dot)com(slash)(the twirlly-looking sign above the QWERTY alphabets and I think is generally next to the number one below the function keys)kaedeyukiyukiya

Or, go to search and type Kaede Yuki Yukiya into the keyword column in search of Author by Pen Name. It should be the 50th on the list.

Or, go to search and type Out of Time into the keyword column in search of Story by Title (Search: Fiction - Manga). It should be the only one on the list.

It may look like I'm promoting my own fic, but seriously, if you are looking for something more in depth, Out of Time would be the one.

Anyway, have fun! Thank you for reviewing and reading I'll Be There. Keep those reviews coming!